RE: The actual gist of a Collar? (Full Version)

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CelticPrince -> RE: The actual gist of a Collar? (7/8/2008 6:35:48 PM)

quote:

I'm in the minority. A collar doesn't 'mean' anything to me. Whatever I feel for him is there whether a collar is around my neck or not.

I'm not knocking collars for other people, for some it means a great deal, for others not so much, and still for others, nothing at all.


laura,

methinks indeed your in the minority.

CP




Leatherist -> RE: The actual gist of a Collar? (7/8/2008 6:38:29 PM)

I see it as a meaningless cliche-a shortcut to commitment that works about once in a hundred tries.
 
 Forget about the stupid symbols. Concentrate on your word and personal honor instead.




Constrictor1 -> RE: The actual gist of a Collar? (7/8/2008 6:47:32 PM)

CelticPrince,
among all the other things that a collar can mean, It means sore hands for me as I make about 400-500 of them a year.[:D]

Constrictor1




sujuguete -> RE: The actual gist of a Collar? (7/8/2008 7:31:13 PM)

When D first mentioned he might collar me, I asked him what it meant to him.  His reply was that it meant I submit to him, and only to him.

I already did submit to him and only to him, so it really didn't matter to me whether I had an outward symbol or not.  If you are married, you are married whether you wear a wedding band or not, right?  I was his with or without the collar.

I was happy to wear it when he put it around my neck, but in my heart it did not make me any more "his" than I already was.




Missokyst -> RE: The actual gist of a Collar? (7/8/2008 9:14:21 PM)

For me a collar is simply a point to attach ropes, chains, ect.  It is for play and not a fashion statement or an implied committment. 
Now.. if I am committed there is no real need beyond my saying I am committed, to make it so.  I don't cheat, I am monogamous, I tend to date men with similar values.  If he says he is committed to me that is the way it is, until one of us ends things. 
Symbols don't mean a lot to me.  I see too many people use them like a badge of honor.
OOOOOOOOOOO look at me!  I belong! 
Nah.  Not my deal at all.  But it floats a lot of boats.
If I was truly wanting committment I would remarry.  I have avoided that for over 20 yrs.  If I do marry again only one of us gets out alive.
I do have a committment to permanance.
Kyst




TreasureKY -> RE: The actual gist of a Collar? (7/8/2008 10:00:11 PM)

To me, the importance of the collar is in the intent.  If a dom were to tell me to buy one for myself or if he provided one simply because he thought it was what he was supposed to do, but it didn't hold much significance to him otherwise, then it wouldn't mean much to me, either.  What goes on within the relationship is what it important, anyway... not the symbols. 




ownedgirlie -> RE: The actual gist of a Collar? (7/8/2008 11:18:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince
girlie,

you bring up an interesting point when you state I was owned for 6 months prior to a collar. How did that status become known to the path walkers?

CP


I told them.  [;)]




sweetnurseBBW -> RE: The actual gist of a Collar? (7/9/2008 6:02:15 AM)

For us it is a symbol of our love and commitment to each other. It is also a symbol of his ownership of me.




Stusmobile -> RE: The actual gist of a Collar? (7/9/2008 6:58:47 AM)

*dons a flame retardant suit*

All personal to me , not saying it's right for everyone, not right for anyone but myself and my relationship. As an aside I'm actually very old fashioned in some respects and that probably plays into the thoughts and ideas behind certain things.

A collar to me is akin but distinctly different to a wedding band. The wedding band signifies that commitment we share in every persons eyes who sees it. It is not private but a very public statement that is almost universally recognised as being a long term (lifetime in my own case) commitment to one another.

The collar signifies the private aspects of our relationship, the dynamic we share, the part each of us plays in making our relationship as strong, healthy and fulfilling as possible. We both get different things from it, for her it's safety, expectations, compassion, understanding, learning, rules and ideals to strive for. For me it is the commitment that she is the only person who I want to submit to me , a sign of trust in her abilities, her willingness to do her best for us at all times.

Ultimately the ring and collar are for one person and her alone, no others need apply or be considered. They both in their own ways honour what we share as partners, what we expect from one another and what we are both looking forwards to. Neither are required or needed, the commitment is there in every thought and thing we do, they are touchstones, tokens that when things are going wrong in our everyday lives ... there is one who we can depend on for love, understanding and support.






CelticPrince -> RE: The actual gist of a Collar? (7/9/2008 11:30:09 AM)

quote:

to me - the collar around my neck is a symbol of my life long commitment and submission to Daddy accepting Him as my Dominant, Daddy, and Owner

to Daddy - it's a symbol of His life long ownership of me.

i also wear a wrist chain, ring and ankle chains - other symbols of His ownership


lilgirl,

with all those ornaments, he does have you covered as property. Thanks for sharing.

CP




CelticPrince -> RE: The actual gist of a Collar? (7/9/2008 11:32:45 AM)

quote:

For me a collar is just a means to "walk" me.
I gave up a long time ago of it ever being anything else other than a physical thing around my neck used for control.


Aileen,

Well look at it this way, he must be proud of you to do the walk!

CP




CelticPrince -> RE: The actual gist of a Collar? (7/9/2008 11:35:28 AM)

quote:

So yes, it certainly has significance, but, what that significance is to me, is undoubtedly different to what it is for other people.


BKSir,

Thus the subject of the thread. I agree, it is what me make it to be. thanks for sharing your thoughts.

CP




angelspassion4u -> RE: The actual gist of a Collar? (7/9/2008 11:38:38 AM)

  A Dom friend and I were discussing this the other day.  I have always contributed a collar to a wedding band.  But, as we dicussed this we both said we also believe in marriage.  So I came up with the collar being the engagement ring and you get the ring at the wedding.  One binds you in spirit and the other binds you in the eyes of the church.  Back to the collar/ engagement ring.... It gives a whole new meaning to the saying "ring around the collar"  now doesn't it lol.  Just my 2 cents worth. ( with gas prices these days 2 cents is all I got to give lol )




greenearth21 -> RE: The actual gist of a Collar? (7/9/2008 4:30:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: greenearth21

sometimes i feel like i'm the only one who doesnt think so much of a collar. (no offense to anyone or their beliefs)...but then again I will be honest in saying that its something I havent fully experienced either (at least not to the degree of it being worth talking about).  Although I have spoken to enough people, read enough post and even fantasized about it and itjust...doesnt really seem like the IT of the relationship. 
I believe i can be fully devoted to a dominant man, serve him well and as long as I am satisfied, content and happy in the dynamic of the relationship....a piece of metal or leather wouldnt make the relationship any more real or kinky.  I have had conversations with a few men who consider and some who are dominant, where the main thing is "when i collar...this" when I put my collar...that" and its like...sheesh...could we just focus on the "here and now" than "there".
I realize that to some or a sub a collar is the ultimate gift of feeling owned...cant you be owned without one?  I can really relate to the dominant side of placing a collar on a lady but...maybe someone can help with that.
I am not negative regarding the topicof collars whatsoever...and I strongly believe that if/when i receive one...i'll be happy if not more than that.  But if i never get it...it wont make a difference as long as the things that truly matter within the relationship are there.

again: this wasn't / isn't intended to offend anyone.  If you have a flame or an attack...pass on.  Questions are certainly of interest to me...perhaps i'll realize/learn something new.

I appreciate your perspective and you asked some good questions.  My collar is certainly not the IT of our relationship - it is a symbol of af commitment.  The IT of our relationship is my submission and his mastery of my submission, and what that creates.  So I'm with you on that one.  :)

I was owned prior to receiving his collar.  In my life, I never really felt like I belonged anywhere.  I think for me, emotionally, the collar represented my place of belonging.  I was incredibly insecure the first couple of years of our relationship, and the ability to fondle my collar when nervous or unsure in life was very helpful to me.  It reminded me that I belonged somewhere, and that I was wanted (a first for me).  It's symbolism was very important to me during those insecure days.

This is just one person's perspective on why my collar was important to me.  I like symbolisms.  I like my tattood marking that he put on me.  I like the collar.  I like the shirt of his that he gave me to sleep in.  And so on.  The most important, however, is the internal bond.  But this other stuff is cool, too.  [;)]


I understand and respect where you are coming from and what you wrote.  I see how the collar can give someone a sense of belonging/wanted etc and what a good feeling that is.  In that sense...thats a great reminder than just knowing that you belogn or wanted... a tangible proof perhaps?  I have an anklet that was bought for me, and i'm not much of a jewelry person and I dont wear it often, but when I do it reminds me of the person who bought it for me.  I dont know if the meaning it has for me is what it was intended for...but it offers me that reminder of the person!
yes, the other stuff is cool too :)




AquaticSub -> RE: The actual gist of a Collar? (7/9/2008 5:49:08 PM)

It's my standard answer but it's how I feel...

To me a collar is just jewelry and similiar in function to a ring. A ring can be given to show off money, a pretty trinket that the one who receives it will enjoy, as a sign of devotation, a promise to marry, to symbolize commitment, etc.

I used to care a great deal about collars. What I've come to realize is that it's simply a bit of material that goes around the neck. Having it doesn't make your relationship better or mean that you will make it in the long run. If he collars me, it will be nice but it just doesn't mean as much to me anymore.




LadyPact -> RE: The actual gist of a Collar? (7/9/2008 6:01:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

for me it symbolizes my commitment to my M'Lady and to my poly family. i am married and collared to different persons. my M'Lady and i are both married and have children not by each other. i am faithful to my wife and submissive to my M'Lady and respectfully to my M'Ladys husband. each of them has a say in what i am allowed to do and communication is open to each. my collar both my formal leather one and my vanilla one, are very important to me and value them most highly. this is how i view my collar and not how anyone else may do so.

proudly collared by LadyPact


littleclip,

sounds complicated, especially with a vanilla collar.

CP

Which part?

Just kidding. 

What he meant was that he has two collars.  One is leather and the other is a silver necklace.  The latter is sometimes more appropriate for vanilla settings.




CelticPrince -> RE: The actual gist of a Collar? (7/9/2008 6:12:02 PM)

quote:

The collar is the stereotypical symbol for expressing some degree of commitment or attachment in a D/S or M/S relationship.


MR,

Thanks for your help ?* making myself a reminder note!

CP




CelticPrince -> RE: The actual gist of a Collar? (7/9/2008 6:17:16 PM)

quote:

I think a collar is like a wedding ring in-that it show that the submissive is in a commited relationship, the sigificance of that collar goes much deeper for the submissive or slave wearing it of course, it's much more about being owned, mind, body and soul by the Mistress or Master.



HW,

I do agree with your thoughts.

CP




CelticPrince -> RE: The actual gist of a Collar? (7/9/2008 6:19:37 PM)

quote:

it remains until Master, or the coroner, takes it off.


beth, well methinks that Merc might see to it that it stays put.

CP




CelticPrince -> RE: The actual gist of a Collar? (7/9/2008 6:22:23 PM)

quote:

There may be many different levels of collars. My Master uses 4, I talked to one Dom that uses 10, and in such cases you progressively move up through them. I've seen "public" collars.


queen,

Well to each their own, a new twist on the carrot lead I guess, but methinks one does the job!

CP




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