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SurrenderForMe -> RE: How much does physical appearance matter? (7/9/2008 11:56:28 PM)
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quote:
How much do looks really matter to you? What characteristics do you want, need? I know that I've received some particularly harsh criticism recently, both regarding my face and the fact I'm not a bigger/stronger guy (6-foot-1 150 pounds).
Looks matter, and are totally subjective. What do I find attractive? Very thin to average build, intelligence, empathy, strength of character, insert other common details here. The final answer ends up being attraction. Someone can have everything on the laundry list and in person, there is no attraction. It dies right there. I have dated overweight people and had good relationships, but I don't pursue them. I have dated people who were not capable of keeping up with me mentally. I walked because I feel like I could be detrimental to them and I bore easily.
You have preferences just like everyone else does.
I know people who truly try not to notice looks, weight, etc. I know a few people who really seem not to care. They are the minority. Most people I know, spout the pc line, and then in private readily admit to having preferences. It is not a crime, it is not a failing, it is just who you are.
Many men and women find thin attractive as an attribute. It is a huge percentage. If someone says they don't find you attractive, then move on.
quote:
On a personal note, I have mixed feelings about BBWs (I hate that term by the way; not every big person is beautiful, nor as every thin person). It's not that I can't respect the wishes of a bigger woman, nor that I don't find them attractive. It's just that I want, need my Domina to be able to control me, my will and body, and don't know how I'd feel allowing someone to control me who hasn't necessarily taken control over those elements in their own life.
If you are not attracted, don't pursue the person.
Being a domme does not mean the woman is all powerful. People have weaknesses. Being fat does not remove a dominant persons skills and abilities. If you hate being thin, it is possible through massive effort (and sometimes not so massive efforts) to build bulk. If you are fat, it is possible through massive effort (and sometimes not so massive efforts) to lose weight. Put the stones away.
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Do you know what I mean, or does this sound completely ridiculous? I know a couple people have called this line of thinking BS.
People like what they like and don't like what they don't like. Don't be offensive, pursue your attractions and understand that this question is asked in forums all over the place about once every six months. Being defensive about preferring x, y or z if it has to do with looks is common. Being denigrated for reminding people of their insecuities is common. Liking chocolate, or bondage (in the scene) is treated as what it is, your flavor.
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