RE: Marriage (Full Version)

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KatyLied -> RE: Marriage (7/8/2008 1:57:32 PM)

quote:

I won't advocate it to anyone.


I think people have to weigh the risks/benefits, like any major decision.  I think you also have to take into consideration the marital history of both partners, to see if there are any issues with them forming that sort of relationship.  Beyond that, people marry for different reasons, not always love.  People should be aware that they are entering into a legally-binding arrangement, which may be good or bad, depending on what they seek out of if.



cjan -> RE: Marriage (7/8/2008 2:02:04 PM)

Marriage is a contract, like collaring. The decision, imo, requires just as much thought and careful considerstion, based on experience, in either case.



OTKkindaGirl -> RE: Marriage (7/8/2008 2:49:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ConcisenessM

Would You marry your girl if that was the only desire left unfulfilled for her?? Esepecially after 2 years of devotion.


Devotion cannot stand alone.  Devotion requires love or fear.  That is simple.  To simply settle because someone is devoted to you doesn't quite make a marriage, now does it?  Dogs are pretty loyal.... are you marrying your dog?  If you think devotion is all it takes to make a marriage work then perhaps you should give divorce statistics a break and not get married.

Oh wait.... maybe you are a martyr and like the kind of attention that you need because you're doing her a favor and sacrificing your own feelings by settling for devotion from her rather than loving her, or are you feeling obligation because she actually is devoted and cares for you more than you do for her?

To marry under any form of obligation or sense of duty it is a disgrace  and a huge disservice to both of you and will tend to create problems, resentments, bitterness and hardships along the way.  For any relationship to be successful requires more than devotion.  It has to be a two way street based on mutual desires and wishes for success and a couple of little things called love and respect goes a long way too. 

If you honestly believe that her devotion will sustain you through what should be "the rest of your lives together"  then you are sadly lying to yourself and you know it.  Grow up before you marry or you will be just another sad statistic of divorce.

Just get a damned dog if all you need is devotion.  Spare the girl years and years of heartache while she tries to gain a love that was mistaken as greatfulness on your part.

edited to answer the question~~~~

no.  Unless of course you absolutely love her and cannot live without her.  Then disregard everything else that i said.  More power to you in either circumstance.




WhisperSupremacy -> RE: Marriage (7/8/2008 2:54:27 PM)

No, I don't really believe in marriage.  But who knows,...never say never.



weezyfbaby733 -> RE: Marriage (7/8/2008 3:17:19 PM)

do you love her? thats all that matters whether your a dom or a sub. when it comes to a permanent committment like marriage, you don't fuck around, even if your her sub. why dont you grow up a little and look past the lust barrier the two of you share and make an adult decision for yourself. Your commitment to your Dom does not include marriage, if thats not what you want. If you just want to get married to fulfill your doms wishes, I would personally say, in the nicest way possible that you need to get a life.



celticlord2112 -> RE: Marriage (7/8/2008 3:24:08 PM)

quote:

do you love her? thats all that matters whether your a dom or a sub.

That is soooooo not true.

When discussing marriage, love is necessary but not sufficient.  Marriage is about building a life together, with all the complexity and challenge attached thereto.



leakylee -> RE: Marriage (7/8/2008 3:56:22 PM)

36 never done it. i seriously doubt i ever. well not if i have a vote.. so no i wouldnt reccomend it.

i have to ask though, have you asked why this is an unfulfilled desire?

the concept just eww.

smooches
lee



ProtagonistLily -> RE: Marriage (7/8/2008 5:46:09 PM)

quote:

Would You marry your girl if that was the only desire left unfulfilled for her?? Esepecially after 2 years of devotion.


For what ever it's worth, if you have to ask strangers this question, regardless of her desire, you aren't ready for marriage.

PL



RumpusParable -> RE: Marriage (7/8/2008 5:52:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ConcisenessM

Would You marry your girl if that was the only desire left unfulfilled for her?? Esepecially after 2 years of devotion.


Personally?  No.  I'd not marry *anyone* on that basis.  Marriage, to me, be it emotional/life-marriage or legal-marriage isn't a present to be given or earned... and I wouldn't be compatible with someone who yearned for it like it was a goal to be reached, anyhow.

I married my spouse legally because over time we became emotionally/life-married without any thought or effor, just as a natural development between us, and legal marriage was the only way to be allowed to be together openly and to avoid being separated by our jobs.  I'm wary of anyone who sees marriage -relationship or legal- as a goal, rather than a natural development that may or may not occur, and is fine either way.



Quivver -> RE: Marriage (7/8/2008 6:05:24 PM)

Whoa, her only desire left unfulfilled is a Wedding Ring?  Having glanced at your profile I believe I noticed you were in your mid 30's. 
Reguardless of her age unless she's on her death bed she's going to grow new desires.  Trust Me, this wont be her last want.....

Ask yourself what YOU want. 

Personally I'm with MadRabbit on the instituition.  It's seen it's better days............... 

Good Luck



Leatherist -> RE: Marriage (7/8/2008 6:59:01 PM)

I have no interest in marriage.



tsatske -> RE: Marriage (7/8/2008 7:46:27 PM)

I looked at the profile, too. It made me wonder if she had a yearning for monogamy - because the profile, to me, just SCREAMED 'mono and cheating'. but maybe it's just me...[sm=dunno.gif]



daddysliloneds -> RE: Marriage (7/8/2008 9:27:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ConcisenessM

Would You marry your girl if that was the only desire left unfulfilled for her?? Esepecially after 2 years of devotion.


back when i was still quite young, i lived with a man for five years, who said, 'marry me an and show me that you love me as much as you say do or i'm leaving'.  i let him walk out the door.  fast forward to one year later and i did marry him indeed, dressed in black and feeling like i was going to my own funeral.  one year after that, we were divorced...

i found my biggest mistake was to let someone sucker me into feeling obligated to repay them for acts of devotions.  i devote to them out of choice and without a price tag attached; i would hope they would do the same in kind; lesson learned.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Marriage (7/8/2008 9:54:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ConcisenessM
Would You marry your girl if that was the only desire left unfulfilled for her?? Esepecially after 2 years of devotion.

No, I would get married if it were practical and the right choice and fulfillment for us both.



AquaticSub -> RE: Marriage (7/9/2008 12:36:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Hey Aqua.  Congratulations!  Did you already post this and I'm way behind the times?


Thank you! And you are only a little behind. There is still awhile before the wedding.[:)]



eyesopened -> RE: Marriage (7/9/2008 2:31:50 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Quivver

Whoa, her only desire left unfulfilled is a Wedding Ring? 


i'm with Quivver on this one.  To get married just to fulfill someone's desire to be married sounds almost like blackmail.  And once her last and final desire has been fulfilled, what's left?  Game over?  Her desire to be a wife is not what i would consider a reason to marry.  A lot of people are unaware of the "Two Year Rule" which is a strange biological clock that tells females that if their love interest hasn't proposed within two years, he probably never will.  So i was not surprised when i opened your thread to see the Two Year Rule in all its glory.

my gut tells me that if you are asking us..... you aren't ready.  When you are ready, the random opinions of total strangers will not enter into your decision.



naturalsin -> RE: Marriage (7/9/2008 2:35:59 AM)

Marriage is overrated. lol - i would not marry just due to a feeling of unfulfillment, it'll pass.



sweetnurseBBW -> RE: Marriage (7/9/2008 5:59:24 AM)

I would marry someone because I loved them. I don't think marriage is just something you decide to do one day just because. It is a legal commitment and should be thought out and talked about before doing.



HalloweenWhite -> RE: Marriage (7/9/2008 6:05:22 AM)

No I wouldn't marry her just because it was what she wanted, especially after only two years of service.



WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Marriage (7/9/2008 6:07:38 AM)

You bet I would. 

If it was their last unfulfilled desire, I'd have to assume they were not long for the world and what the hell.  If "till death do you part" is only a week or a month away, why not? 

Although, I'd have to question anyone who had expended their quota of desire.  I mean.....seriously.  Is that even possible?  Mine has always been self-perpetuating.  The more I get, the more I want.  But, maybe I'm just odd that way?



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