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RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 7/11/2008 4:09:14 PM

sblady

Posts: 433
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline

My first response was: I wish I had known about this lifestyle years ago, however, I'm not sure that's true. I doubt that I was "mentally" prepared to handle the concept of D/s relationships.

Oh, but I wish I had known about the lifestyle when I had more flexibility!!

(in reply to LushLadyLilith)

Post #: 21

RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 7/11/2008 5:04:35 PM

tinkerbelle3

Posts: 55
Joined: 1/25/2008
Status: offline

I wish I had known to clarify, clarify, clarify even the most basic things. I wish I had known not to assume anything. : )

(in reply to MistressSybella)

Post #: 22

RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 7/11/2008 6:54:34 PM

naughtysubK

Posts: 62
Joined: 5/2/2004
Status: offline

I wish I had understood that not everyone's interpretation of BDSM is the same and what works for one person or couple does not work for everyone. There is no BDSM blueprint.

(in reply to tinkerbelle3)

Post #: 23

RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 1/10/2009 6:01:09 PM

Tandor

Posts: 11
Joined: 12/1/2008
Status: offline

I wish I had known to trust myself and my deepest needs 30 yrs ago.

Tandor

(in reply to sblady)

Post #: 24

RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 1/10/2009 6:13:06 PM

T1981

Posts: 557
Joined: 12/6/2008
Status: offline

I wish I had known that it was okay to want to be submissive.....(for years I thought that perhaps I was betraying my gender...)

_____________________________

"Nothing is pointless, every single thing you do resonates." -Pintsize

(in reply to Tandor)

Post #: 25

RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 1/10/2009 6:18:31 PM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

I wish I had known that I never should 'settle'.

_____________________________

HBIC

(in reply to MistressSybella)

Post #: 26

RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 1/10/2009 6:26:21 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

The things I wish I would of known don't pertain to bdsm in particular, but all relationships.

I wish I would of known to steer clear of lazy slobby mommies boys who would rather suck at moms teat than stand on their own two feet.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LushLadyLilith

I am developing a list of interview questions for people involved in all variations of the BDSM lifestyle, and I would like to find out what people on this site would like to have known about the lifestyle either before or as they were beginning to participate in it.

Lilith

(in reply to LushLadyLilith)

Post #: 27

RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 1/10/2009 6:49:10 PM

SinfulCat

Posts: 2
Joined: 2/6/2006
Status: offline

quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

5) That Cat's and Fire Play are BAD combinations, and it is hard to put out a fire that is moving.

Steel

Funny!! :)

Not for the cat!

Cat

(in reply to MistressSybella)

Post #: 28

RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 1/10/2009 7:26:39 PM

Amaros

Posts: 1363
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

I wish that I had known that a person can't really bury who they really are, and that trying to do so only ends up hurting themselves and those around them.

As a few have said if I had known that it was all real, that this world existed then ohboy I wouldn't have wasted so much time.
My only information came from creepy paperbacks sold in airports. I had no cable, the internet was an infant etc.

It wouldn't have taken so much of my life trying to pretend I'm like 'everyone else' when in reality I could have been with someone who understood and exploited (in a good way) my deep need for a dominant partner.

I don't dwell on it but damn I wasted so much time.

No doubt.

(in reply to camille65)

Post #: 29

RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 1/10/2009 7:56:30 PM

oceanwynds

Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

There is nothing I wish I would have known before I got into BDSM. I am glad I do not know everything, since i believe in adventures.

(in reply to Amaros)

Post #: 30

RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 1/10/2009 8:24:05 PM

ALAstella

Posts: 253
Joined: 12/3/2008
Status: offline

Nothing. It's the learning and development which keeps me here, and the mistakes and stuff are just reasons to laugh about later.

All I would say though is that everyone has their own individual journey through WIITWD, every one of us could write a book on the basis of our own experiences, and the path to greater knowledge is sharing and cooperation rather than competition and one-upmanship.

It's the people you know which brings you the reasons for being here, not anything else.

(in reply to LushLadyLilith)

Post #: 31

RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 1/10/2009 8:27:54 PM

VampiresLair

Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline

I wish I had known back then that there really isnt a definition for most types of play. What I considered pet play, others called baby play or some other thing, and yet what I called baby play they called age play...
I wish I had known that there is more to sadism than the physical (when I was starting out)
I wish I had known that out of every 4 "slaves" I meet, maybe 1 will actually know what service means

_____________________________

Separately we are DiurnalVampire and DVsFox

10/18 Wedding date. 1 year and still blissfully happy

10/13/10 3 year anniversary of his becoming my Fox

Talk impolitely to me, baby - Thanks sunshinemiss

(in reply to MistressSybella)

Post #: 32

RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 1/10/2009 9:56:50 PM

ShellyD

Posts: 207
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chamberqueen

I wish I would have understood that as lofty as the goals of trust and truly good communication are that it did not mean that everyone in the lifestyle would be open minded or even necessarily kind. I was wrong in expecting a kind of Utopia - a mistake that I think many newbies make.

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 33

RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 1/10/2009 10:02:35 PM

Tandor

Posts: 11
Joined: 12/1/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ALAstella

Nothing. It's the learning and development which keeps me here, and the mistakes and stuff are just reasons to laugh about later.

All I would say though is that everyone has their own individual journey through WIITWD, every one of us could write a book on the basis of our own experiences, and the path to greater knowledge is sharing and cooperation rather than competition and one-upmanship.

It's the people you know which brings you the reasons for being here, not anything else.

Well reasoned & thought out. Your last line gives food for thought.

Tandor

(in reply to ALAstella)

Post #: 34

RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 1/10/2009 10:12:32 PM

ItalianSMistress

Posts: 427
Joined: 1/19/2007
From: Niagara Region Ontario Canada
Status: offline

When I first started out, I wish I had known I was not the only person in the world doing this...(I started by playing with someone for four years, it just kind of happened, it was not until that ended that I realized there was a whole community of people out there)......

_____________________________

Governess

"Dominance is the ability to create a hunger in someone that's so strong they will do anything, anytime, anywhere just to please you."

http://italianmistress.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Tandor)

Post #: 35

RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 1/10/2009 10:34:48 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

It’s not the case of "I wish I had known", fir I knew about it even when at boarding school in the 1950s, but rather I regret not actively looking for some one to explain to me the basics and concepts of consensual whatever. My upbringing of placing women on pedestals held me back for years... Still no point in looking back, must keep moving onwards and upwards..

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to ItalianSMistress)

Post #: 36

RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 1/10/2009 11:49:14 PM

WestBaySlave

Posts: 501
Joined: 9/24/2008
Status: offline

I wish I had known everything I know now a year ago, when I was fresh to scene and less worn out and jaded.

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 37

RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 1/11/2009 1:30:28 AM

JustDarkness

Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline

When I "met" the lifestyle I didn't know anything about it. The road of discovery is/was nice.
Propably the most fun of it all and it will never end it seems, aslong as you read on the forum.
So many thoughts and different people...it stays interesting..even when you disagree...you learn.

(in reply to MistressSybella)

Post #: 38

RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 1/11/2009 5:28:03 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

~FR~

This is sounding like a camp of drunken people who just found they didn't win the state lottery. There is no sense in getting maudlin because life is made up of whole segments of teaching you things, some good, some bad, and some fucking ugly.

Jesus Christ people I could sit here and weep that if I had only known what war was like, known what it was like to hold mates in your arms as they die from wounds from shrapnel, .50 cal rounds blowing a leg off or blood poisoning after standing on a shit dipped pungee stick. If only I'd known what pain I would feel when my troops under my command fail to return alive from an operation I designed and authorized. Why didn’t anyone tell me about the pain when writing to the next of kin of those same special forces soldiers to tell them their son won't be coming home but he died a hero and lying to cover the fact he died screaming in agony so the folks back home can be saved at least some pain, that pain you carry in their stead...... Yeah If only I had known I'd have taken my second choice and become a chef instead of a soldier.

Life is like this and it allows you to learn too and even grow from the experiences. So before you start gnashing your teeth in anguish, come here and read what I have said and then put things in perspective.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to JustDarkness)

Post #: 39

RE: I Wish That I Had Known... - 1/11/2009 5:42:37 AM

kallisto

Posts: 1185
Status: offline

I wish I had known absolutely nothing more than what I knew. If I had known it all then, where would I be now? I don't look at life with the "what ifs" or "if I had known this". I had someone tell me the other night that he wished he had known me 20 years ago. I told him I didn't. I wasn't the same person then that I am now. I don't think he would have liked me then.

But what I'm getting at is. If I had known any differently then, I wouldn't be the person I am now. And I like me now .. for who I am.

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 40

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