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RE: Can stupid people consent? - 7/11/2008 5:07:31 PM   
NumberSix


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Stooooooooooooopid, will eventually put every manjack amongst us in the marketbasket, however; if this is some euphemism for retarded, Hitler; et al, have certainly tried to euthanize that crowd.

Um, you are not going to change the world, and will take each communal decision as it happens, in its context.

6

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RE: Can stupid people consent? - 7/11/2008 5:45:34 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


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quote:

ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper

The legal gold standard for sanity is the M'Nahten rule (also Durham).  To be considered insane a person must not be aware of what they did AND not be aware that the action was wrong.  Durham relies on a mental disease or defect that enabled the crime, and would otherwise not have occured.

Those are pretty strict.  If a person talks to god or manipulated their body or belongs to a cult is not a factor. 

I agree its a messy situation, but we have to do something.

For practical purposes, I have a far reduced requirement for insane.  I try take into account the person's background, education, and current state of mind.  Like bus drivers, we just have to trust that for all the individual differences, they're overall ok.


Point conceded. I am interested in knowing more about Durham's Law. Consider, though, that I am more philosopher, chaotist, and subtle anarchist than psychologist/psychiatrist and go easy on my elderly grey Jello.

Feel free to drop me a line any time.

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RE: Can stupid people consent? - 7/11/2008 7:21:21 PM   
Huntertn


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What does that comedian say..You can't fix stupid!You can only try to stay out of its way!  What I do find is lots of people falling to their level of stupid..then try to find others of the same level of stupid..

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RE: Can stupid people consent? - 7/12/2008 5:58:55 AM   
thetammyjo


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo


I think one has to define stupid better to have an honest answer to the question.

I think you need the same maturity to get into a BDSM dynamic as you do to get into any vanilla dynamic. That's not a matter of smarts but being able to tell reality from fantasy, possible from probable, and being able to balance your life.

Some of the world's smartest people haven't been very good at those things and often require spouses and aids to help them.


What a great reply.

I probably shouldn't even post to this thread because I find it to be rude and arrogant and I'd take stupid over that any day.

Thanks, TammyJo, for keeping it real.


Aw.. *blush*

I try to keep my fantasy in my fiction writing and the reality on here. The reality I share or see, of course, can only reflect my own experiences and knowledge base.

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RE: Can stupid people consent? - 7/12/2008 12:56:14 PM   
cloudboy


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quote:

I probably shouldn't even post to this thread because I find it to be rude and arrogant and I'd take stupid over that any day.


Because Aakasha operates a femdom website offering professional services, she spends a lot of time with the unwashed public, so to speak. From her experiences there, she projects out many generalizations and conclusions.

Her posting and POV is from the Ann Rand school of thought that character determines everything -- such that all failures or shortcomings are a reflection of character.

Some of her themes are remarkably consistent: "stupid" - "desperate" - "ill-mannered" - "fetishistic - self absorbed" malesubs. If malesubs would correct their character flaws -- they could consumate a BDSM relationship. On the flip side, because of character flaws, malesubs cannot consumate a BDSM relationship.



< Message edited by cloudboy -- 7/12/2008 1:16:54 PM >

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RE: Can stupid people consent? - 7/12/2008 1:05:54 PM   
stella41b


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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

Aha. Now I see.

I just see a moot point here in a way. Going by the OP we can assume that intelligent people are being asked about whether stupid people should have 'informed consent'. But how do we know if anyone is stupid? You see, they might be intelligent, but we just don't understand their way of thinking or logic.

You see someone's 'desperate' can be someone else's 'impatient', and someone else's 'gung ho attitude.' We may think that someone is stupid for constantly arriving at the same result after the same course of actions, which ends of course in failure, but you know this could also be 'persistence', 'tenacity', 'perseverance'. Not everybody can achieve success, or even a successful relationship at the snap of their fingers.

My 'stupid' here is 'irresponsible' together with 'foolish'. But I see this all the time. However I also see it as a part of human nature and a part of life, something which affects all of us, not just selected people.


I asked the question in a deliberately blunt and potentially offensive manner to get people to stop and think about how riduclous it is to try to measure "informed consent" and come up with any kind of a standard regarding what "consent" is anyway - beyond not forcing anyone to do S&M by abduction, physical force or manipulation.  

Akasha



Okay. I understand this. Only to a considerable number of people 'stupid' means 'someone else' and there's a sort of mental block preventing them from connecting 'stupid' to 'myself'. This isn't arrogance or dishonesty, they genuinely see themselves as being intelligent, logical, sensible even. To them it's always someone else who's the idiot.

These people are everywhere, even here. I'm sure you've noticed them yourself. Lots of people will be sat there nodding, 'yeah we know'. Even a considerable number of the idiots too will be sat there, at various times in front of their computers all over the world reading this and thinking 'yeah we know'.

It's like you stub your toe on a piece of furniture, let's say a table leg. What do you do? You swear at the table leg, don't you? But if the table leg could speak, there'd be various statements no doubt during a heated conversation coming from the table leg which may include:

'Wasn't my bloody fault, I've been here motionless for the past five and a half years.'

'It was you who kicked me, and now you're blaming me, right?'

This is about as universal as the different way men and women use towels in the bathroom. Notice how most women use towels like clothing or headscarves. They wrap themselves up in the towels, one over the head like a turban, and they go off and dry themselves somewhere else. Men on the other hand tend to use towels like general purpose cleaning rags. Rub here, then a good rub down below, then round the back, not forgetting to use the towel for a bit of keyhole surgery round the back whilst they're at it, and the towel usually ends up soaking wet on the floor.

Same thing too with stupidity, your own. You either realise it yourself when it's way too late, or other people notice it first.

Stupidity is an inherent part of human nature. When you fail or refuse to see stupidity as part of your own nature, this to me is a credible sign of emotional disturbance or mental illness.

What is informed consent anyway? Isn't this where you agree to something happening to you, hoping that it will turn out for the best, but knowing that it may go wrong and have negative consequences which as part of your agreement you are taking some degree of responsibility for?

When it comes to medical or surgical procedures it's the exact same thing. I'm going through hormone therapy at the moment, knowing that at any time I can develop a blood clot, suffer liver failure, or just simply die. I'm aware of the risks and have agreed to take these risks.

Similarly too we see this in the criminal justice system. The MacNaughton Rules came about to establish competency, or rather responsibility for one's actions, where it was seen that someone who cannot be held responsible for their own actions is insane. The US Supreme Court ruling in Atkins v. Virginia 536 US 304 (2002) stated that the execution of a murderer who is deemed to be incompetent violates the Eighth Amendment.

I'd therefore say that here in BDSM or S/M if you prefer your level of competency can be measured by taking into account three factors (1) the type of relationship you are seeking or the activities within this relationship you wish to get involved in, (2) the person or people you choose to develop such relationships with or participate in such activities with, and your knowledge, understanding and confidence in such people and (3) the degree of personal responsibility you are prepared to accept with regard to both the relationship and activities and also with regard to your involvement with the other person or people.

This is also assuming that you are not seeking to be involved in anything detrimental to your psychological, emotional or physical wellbeing.

But can stupid people consent? Why yes, because they tend to consent way before the time their stupidity comes to light.



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RE: Can stupid people consent? - 7/12/2008 1:22:12 PM   
AAkasha


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quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b


What is informed consent anyway? Isn't this where you agree to something happening to you, hoping that it will turn out for the best, but knowing that it may go wrong and have negative consequences which as part of your agreement you are taking some degree of responsibility for?

When it comes to medical or surgical procedures it's the exact same thing. I'm going through hormone therapy at the moment, knowing that at any time I can develop a blood clot, suffer liver failure, or just simply die. I'm aware of the risks and have agreed to take these risks.




Snipped because I want to get to really the heart of one aspect of this, because I think it's an important and relevant discussion. 

I think adults who are responsible are capable of making decisions for themselves, and hope that they do at least consider the consequences of their actions - that's really what it comes down to. You can do anything you want to yourself or your consenting partner, but hopefully you will think about what the outcome may be, and what may happen as a result.  That's a logical, adult, mature way of making a decision in life. I could go out right now and buy a $100,000 car and someone will sell me one, and that will make me happy in the moment, but the *consequences* of that decision will cause me unpleasant times in the future - this is an extreme example but makes the point. 

(on a side note, not to get philosophical and I am no expert, but I would think that a big difference between the impulsive nature of teenagers and youth in general is that they tend to not think too much about consequences and take more risks in the moment in the spirit of life, moreso than an adult - at what age this starts to shift I don't know).

A great deal of what intense, erotic, passionate, sexually-charged BDSM does appeals directly to the side of men that pushes them to act impulsively without thought of consequences.  More specifically, it's true in many cases but not all, that a man will make poor decisions if he is aroused; when it comes to kinky submissive behavior, a lot of men are drawn to the weakness and lack of control that comes from making decisions based on desire that go beyond their *normal* and rational thinking process.  They are drawn to do acts that they really would probably not do in a "normal" state of mind - but when aroused and directed by a sexy, powerful woman - they are in a situation where they operate with what may be considered a limited capacity to make smart choices.

Case in point - the number of men that get incredibly turned on and then send cash to strangers.  Some time later, they realize, that was not a good decision.  That's consent, but it was poor consent, right?  This man is not stupid - he was simply aroused. This man actually may be a genius or a very successful CEO of a major corporation with law degrees and an MBA, and someone with TREMENDOUS common sense. Yet, he falls victim to a very basic scam - all because of submissive desire + arousal = limited reasoning capability.

(not to bash men as I am using this as an example - but I think women tend to make the same bad choices based on emotional need, not sexual need).  But really does it just come down to human beings making bad choices because of unmet needs?  And if so, again, you go back to the idea of "consent" -- and how much "informed consent" goes on in BDSM that is really healthy, vs. what is brushed under the carpet and people don't talk about?

In closing, my final point is really simple:  When people talk about "consent" in bdsm, I think the idea originated (not by a single person, but as an obvious moral decision, the first time two people ever engaged in kinky acts) to differentiate a psychopathic "sadist" from a sane person who chooses to engage in S&M acts with willing participants.  But to take that argument any further and try to propose that a "community" supports "informed consent" and that's what "consensual" means in SSC is really a reach. 

Akasha


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RE: Can stupid people consent? - 7/12/2008 5:19:08 PM   
bipolarber


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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


What does "informed consent" mean if the person is stupid?

Akasha



I think it means we all end up living with one of the most corrupt, war-mongering, power grabbing administrations in the history of the United States....

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RE: Can stupid people consent? - 7/12/2008 5:34:58 PM   
Prinsexx


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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


What does "informed consent" mean if the person is stupid?

Akasha


Do i get extra marks for writing my name on the question paper?



< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 7/12/2008 5:35:20 PM >


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RE: Can stupid people consent? - 7/12/2008 5:54:34 PM   
Ialdabaoth


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Here's how I've always understood "informed consent":

The BDSM community isn't ultimately interested in consent; it's interested in doing kinky shit. "Informed consent" is merely a tool we use to convince the cultural hegemony to allow us to get away with violating the taboos inherent in "kinky shit". Thus, we provided said overculture a concept called "consent", that differentiates what we do from what those horrible bad people do that appear to be doing the same sort of things.

Now, the overculture is regrettably psychotic, so it's really hard to figure out what it wants. And all the time, even with the "informed consent" meme, we can't fully defend ourselves against it. So we keep evolving this meme into the most effective shield we can against the hegemony's natural reaction, which is to punish us for violating taboos that only the elite should be allowed to violate.

The end result of this is a series of meaningless phrases that we keep struggling to apply meaning to. At core, the concept of "consent" is pretty simple - you agree to something, and you're consenting. But then the culture's psychoses come into play - do children possess the properties that allow them to consent in any situation? If yes, then what differentiates a child's consent from an adult's consent? If no, then what does it mean when a child says "no"? Can animals consent? If yes, then what differentiates an animal's consent from a human's consent? If no, then what does it mean when an animal initiates action? Can objects consent? If yes, then what differentiates an object's consent from a being's consent? If no, then what happens when our computers get smart enough to say "no"?

All of these aren't problems with the concept of consent; they're problems with the concept of 'person'. Society seems to want to just say "oh, you know what we mean by person!" and just run with it, without ever defining the term. And that leads to all sorts of problems: if animals aren't persons, than what about Koko the gorilla? If children aren't persons, then what about emancipation? If all adults are persons, than what about severe retardation? We need to be reacting to a culture that has defined its terms before we can easily define ours, since ours exist merely as a reaction to theirs.

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RE: Can stupid people consent? - 7/12/2008 7:15:21 PM   
OnlyMels


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well if they were that stupidthey probably would being doing anything that take much thought. I work with a few people at the store I work at and they are all baggers and thats where they will stay cause they can't  do anything more than that. But even so a job as easy as putting groceries in bags they still do the bare minimum. Its kinda sad and really annoying sometimes.

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RE: Can stupid people consent? - 7/12/2008 7:34:15 PM   
MadRabbit


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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


What does "informed consent" mean if the person is stupid?

Akasha



Given that it is virtually impossible to know, understand or even think of every single factor possible before making a choice, "informed consent" means making the best choice with as much information as reasonably possible.

The mistakes that happen as a result simply bring more information for us to make better choices later on.

That's how you gain experience. By being stupid.

< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 7/12/2008 7:36:07 PM >


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RE: Can stupid people consent? - 7/12/2008 8:19:37 PM   
ownedgirlie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit
That's how you gain experience. By being stupid.


That was awesome!

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RE: Can stupid people consent? - 7/13/2008 12:57:13 AM   
SurrenderForMe


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If someone is stupid and gives informed consent and you interact with them, then I would say you have bad luck or bad taste.  LOL

On a serious note, what do you mean by stupid?  If you mean they lack common sense, then they are still able to make decisions.  There are alot of eager idiots out there.  If someone does something dumb, I'll point it out.  If they do it again, I walk.  If you mean they are mentally handicapped, I have no idea how I would address that.

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RE: Can stupid people consent? - 7/13/2008 5:02:07 AM   
julietsierra


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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


What does "informed consent" mean if the person is stupid?

Akasha



So.... I'm waiting in the drive-through lane at Burger King with a family member. This family member has Down Syndrome. This family member is an adult. She is of medium functionality based on her last psychological evaluation - but low enough that she has a court-appointed guardian. And we're talking. Due to her disability AND a repaired cleft palate, she's sometimes difficult to understand.

She mumbles through something that sounds like "poke me." I look at her, giving her that "what the heck did you just say?!" look. She says again, "poke me!" I laugh and gently poke her in the arm saying, "Ok...poke poke poke."

She says "No!" and tries again. This time, it sounds like, "Pick me!" I realize I must've made a mistake in understanding her and say "OHHH! Of COURSE I pick you!!" while pointing at her.

She gets really frustrated with me and herself. She about shouts, "NOOO!!!" and raises one leg off of the seat while hitting her bottom with her hand. She says (about yells), "I SAID!!! PANK ME!! C'MON!! IT FUN!!"

And I about fell apart laughing and saying "no no no honey, you can let your husband do that to you someday, but m's don't do that." All the while thinking about acorns and trees. (She knows nothing about my activities since I never bring them home - precisely for this reason.)

She looks at me all sad (more like appalled) and says "I have to MARRY someone to do that?!" gives a huge disgusted sigh and turns her head away from me to look out the window. When I get her attention a moment later, she looks back at me and there are tears on her face.

You tell me. Can people with cognitive impairments make that kind of decision?

Cause you see, I'd say "absolutely!" Their difficulty is in finding a PEER they care about who has the ability to understand all this and do things in a way that won't harm each other and more importantly, upset their caregivers.

But it'd have to be a peer - not someone of "normal" intelligence coupled with someone who is cognitively impaired.

And as a caregiver, if a PEER tried that with my family member, I'd be very careful in how I called foul on their activities.

And yes, I'm aware that by the law, she's incapable of making these kinds of decisions. However, the conversation we had that day in the car at Burger King - coupled with a lifetime of her challenging me when she'd get in trouble by a)holding her hand out, b) sticking her butt out and c) a myriad of other things, saying "Oooh, I sorry. Hit me! C'mon! HIT ME!!" and me going "NOOO!!!" followed by her running crying to her room, lead me to believe that she made her mind up a LONG time ago - even if by law, she couldn't.

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 7/13/2008 5:15:06 AM >

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RE: Can stupid people consent? - 7/13/2008 5:46:40 AM   
thishereboi


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My ex roommate used to consent to things and he was stupid, so I would have to say yes.

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