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UNSURE OF A POST! - 7/12/2008 12:12:16 AM   
playfulotter


Posts: 2195
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Have you ever wanted to ask what others think on these message boards but you know either way it is not going to be good for  You so you renege.....and say to yourself....wow! i want opinions..but maybe i will be blasted?

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RE: UNSURE OF A POST! - 7/12/2008 12:25:09 AM   
Shadow-tiger


Posts: 1775
Joined: 6/8/2008
From: California
Status: offline 		All the bloody freaking time. Well, often enough at least.

(in reply to playfulotter)
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RE: UNSURE OF A POST! - 7/12/2008 12:31:14 AM   
playfulotter


Posts: 2195
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		oh well you are a guy who sent me an email recently..so i don't think it counts....

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We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.” ― Benjamin Franklin

"Some people are otters, some people are rocks." ~Sheldon Cooper

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RE: UNSURE OF A POST! - 7/12/2008 12:34:47 AM   
Shadow-tiger


Posts: 1775
Joined: 6/8/2008
From: California
Status: offline 		Ohhhhkaaaay. Now I'm curious if it's a specific question you're afraid to ask. Or if it's just the whole fear of people blasting you for having a different opinion thing.

I was just trying to mention that I feel like I'm going to get blasted every time I try to toss out a serious question or comment. *shrug*

(in reply to playfulotter)
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RE: UNSURE OF A POST! - 7/12/2008 1:00:02 AM   
shivermetimbers


Posts: 2060
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: playfulotter

Have you ever wanted to ask what others think on these message boards but you know either way it is not going to be good for  You so you renege.....and say to yourself....wow! i want opinions..but maybe i will be blasted?


Yes all of the time.  It partially has to do with the search of old threads. I think of asking a question, and search for previous threads on the subject before I do.  Even if I don't find the thread, I admit that I feel like a dork that I didn't find a previous reference.  Some people just know their research! 

But , your posting this thread gave me courage to go ahead and post the thread I've canceled three times already.   So no matter what ends up being said here, thanks for giving me the courage to post something in this forum that was on my mind, regardless if it's been asked quite often in the past.

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RE: UNSURE OF A POST! - 7/12/2008 1:08:25 AM   
HeavansKeeper


Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: playfulotter

Have you ever wanted to ask what others think on these message boards but you know either way it is not going to be good for  You so you renege.....and say to yourself....wow! i want opinions..but maybe i will be blasted?


Meh, I just ask.. or say.  I try to defend my point as best I can, and if I've "lost" I simply change my viewpoint.

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The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

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RE: UNSURE OF A POST! - 7/12/2008 1:21:10 AM   
Stusmobile


Posts: 145
Joined: 5/26/2008
From: No fixed abode
Status: offline 		I think a large majority of the blasting comes not so much from the questions but from the posters wording, preconceptions and assumptions. From what I've seen those questions asked honestly get answered , the ones who ask for approval, wank material etc are the ones who get toasted.

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RE: UNSURE OF A POST! - 7/12/2008 2:15:20 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		Sooner or later I get around to making a post or posting my thoughts on a thread I'm responding to.

Many times, I was totally prepared to take the heat.  It's never been as bad as I imagined it would be.    With one exceptions, when I made posts thinking to myself that there was no way in hell, this would cause a stir.


(in reply to playfulotter)
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RE: UNSURE OF A POST! - 7/12/2008 2:46:16 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Sure I do, but most of the time, I post anyway.  Even when I know it's something that isn't going to be well received.  I've put up some things in the last month or so that most people wouldn't want to have their time wasted on if they took the two minutes to read it.  So what?  Actually, when I did, I got quite a few favorable responses, not just on the boards, but in My own email as well.  There were a lot of people who were even glad I did, and said it was good to see that people could express themselves on these boards and show their human qualities.

Who cares if what you have to say gets blasted?  If nothing else, you might feel better for writing it.  Anything you want to put here is your right, just as much as anybody else.  Just do a better job than Me in sticking by TOS and not ticking off the mods.


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RE: UNSURE OF A POST! - 7/12/2008 2:47:23 AM   
ServingGirrl


Posts: 115
Joined: 10/10/2007
From: Melbourne, Australia
Status: offline 		i find that, as a newcomer to the forums, i can post what i hope is an interesting and pertinent response in a thread and it just gets ignored because i'm not part of "the gang" that has been posting on here for far longer than i have.   i don't get upset at that because i suppose everyone must pay their dues and earn respect here, but it does inhibit me from posting quite a deal.

An excellent thread; thank you.

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RE: UNSURE OF A POST! - 7/12/2008 3:44:43 AM   
MastersBitch96


Posts: 73
Joined: 5/15/2008
From: Endicott, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: playfulotter

Have you ever wanted to ask what others think on these message boards but you know either way it is not going to be good for  You so you renege.....and say to yourself....wow! i want opinions..but maybe i will be blasted?


Oh WOW, yes!!!!!  Every word out of my fingertips seems to piss some people off here... more often than not, I just don't bother.  Also I have this teensie problem with being able to ignore the nasty replies, and then get slammed for defending myself!  It's insane!  I've always thought that these forums could really use for the mods to lock up threads that just turn into pissing matches.  Seems it would make the unfriendly forums posters take more personal responsibility for the words that they spew.  I think sometimes certain people forget they are advising real live people on the other end of their writing, and that kicking a person when they are worried, scared or depressed is just as harmful as if they said it to the persons' face.  I wonder if half the nasty folks on here, just use it as a way to vent their own frustrations... would they be that way in person?  In many cases, sadly... yeah, probably.-- Bitch

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RE: UNSURE OF A POST! - 7/12/2008 3:46:54 AM   
TysGalilah


Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: playfulotter

Have you ever wanted to ask what others think on these message boards but you know either way it is not going to be good for  You so you renege.....and say to yourself....wow! i want opinions..but maybe i will be blasted?

 
I've seen it typed here that " there is no such thing as a stupid question" 
and
I've also seen people get lambbasted, so I can understand your hesitation ....( and sometimes even by the same person who said there were no stupid questions LOL so go figure )

warning:  cliche coming..
    nothing ventured nothing gained? 
 
a line from a song springs to mind
   sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug...
 sometimes you're a louisville slugger, sometimes you're the ball..
 
 
You never know who your words will touch and help and so I say> go for it : )
 

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galilah

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

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RE: UNSURE OF A POST! - 7/12/2008 4:35:52 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Stusmobile

I think a large majority of the blasting comes not so much from the questions but from the posters wording, preconceptions and assumptions. From what I've seen those questions asked honestly get answered , the ones who ask for approval, wank material etc are the ones who get toasted.


Bingo

(in reply to Stusmobile)
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RE: UNSURE OF A POST! - 7/12/2008 4:37:19 AM   
Dari


Posts: 192
Joined: 10/8/2007
Status: offline 		I thought it was:  There's no such thing as a stupid question, just stupid people who ask questions.

Erm.  Wait, no.  Probably not.

ANYWAY - I don't start threads because I don't have anything in particular that I feel the need to ask about right now.  But I do peruse and post a bit here and there.  Where you're concerned, well - honest questions usually receive honest, open responses.  As long as, when you're phrasing your question or situation, you give enough information, your post is not deliberately inflammatory, and you don't include judgments of the ways other people choose to express their kink side.

And no more "omg there's no1 rl on this site! omgomg!"  It's been done.  Really!  ;)

(in reply to TysGalilah)
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RE: UNSURE OF A POST! - 7/12/2008 4:54:46 AM   
SinSoap


Posts: 15
Joined: 6/28/2008
Status: offline 		Well..... I'd disagree a bit with people who say only posts with judgemental, narrow minded, pissy, or horny qualities to them get "blasted". I don't know what some of these people are reading, but I've seen plenty of people talk about what seemed like reasonable things in a reasonable way and get very mixed results.

But, to me, this is the nature of life. No one agrees on every topic and almost every one is a critic some of the time. The anonymous quality of the internet also opens the door for people to be quite forward and frank in a manner that they aren't usually face to face (yes sure there are exceptions). AND our general western culture has biting sarcasm as a highly prized quality it seems. You know, where people seem all dry and aloof and holier-than-thou, "how can you be so ridiculous"... dismissive, scornful, sarcasm usually with a decent amount of sharp wit? I donno, maybe I'm alone here in these observations....

In any case, since I think its basically the nature of life for people to disagree and occasionally be pissy about it, I mostly just go ahead and post (normally under my other nick, this is a new profile I'm using lately) and since we are all just strangers on the internet I assure myself "it will be okay".



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director of the Goddard Institute of Space Sciences, on the path being taken in response to global warming

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RE: UNSURE OF A POST! - 7/12/2008 6:50:14 AM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		Since I tend to be the dissenting opinion lots of times, I don't worry so much about what people think -- if I have a question, I'll ask. If they think I'm an idiot for asking, heck, that's just one more opinion to add to the pile.

Sometimes I don't post something because I've already made up my mind, which sort of makes it redundant to ask... the one thing I do tend to ask about when I have questions deals with others' experiences -- and those are invaluable, because no two people, even if they share similar opinions, are going to view a particular situation in exactly the same way, so many times, even if people disagree with me, it gives me a broader perspective.

Other than that...to borrow a well-known quote...opinions are like assholes -- everyone's got one and they usually stink.

Calla Firestorm

< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 7/12/2008 7:29:39 AM >

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Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

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(in reply to playfulotter)
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RE: UNSURE OF A POST! - 7/12/2008 6:55:21 AM   
lockmeupplease


Posts: 202
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: playfulotter

Have you ever wanted to ask what others think on these message boards but you know either way it is not going to be good for  You so you renege.....and say to yourself....wow! i want opinions..but maybe i will be blasted?


i say: DAMN THE TORPEDOES! FULL-STEAM AHEAD!!!
 
If i can handle, bondage, whipping, hot wax and corner-time from someone I really care about, I can certainly handle some flaming from some anonymous judgmental clown with a hidden profile who amuses themselves by flaming me.

Then again, I've been thoughtfully rebuked by people here and actually learned from the experience....

< Message edited by lockmeupplease -- 7/12/2008 6:56:38 AM >

(in reply to playfulotter)
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RE: UNSURE OF A POST! - 7/12/2008 7:03:55 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: playfulotter

Have you ever wanted to ask what others think on these message boards but you know either way it is not going to be good for  You so you renege.....and say to yourself....wow! i want opinions..but maybe i will be blasted?

I have , on occasion. I have also thought to myself, if I ask for opinions, most of what I might get back is going to simply tell me to dump him and move on. I am active enough on the forum toknow what most of the kneejerk responses are. I post my questions anyway, since if I really want opinions, I am not going to find a better place to get them. Let them blast away, at the end of the day I am still going to have my boys and my problems regardless of if the thread was polite as anything and full of uselful advice or if it became a flamewar. I read through and find the useful bits that will help, I ignore the random rudeness or stupidity in there for no good reason. I can get a chuckle at some of the less serious posts and hopefully learn a bit from the more serious ones and by the end of the read I hope to have gotten a bit of a better idea of how to go about fixing whats broke.
HOWEVER the posters I have noticed on here who get blasted the fastest and hardest either start out with an initial prejudice, an insult, or they get nasty in replies if they are not hearing what they want to hear. Do not post if you want validation and not opinions, thats when you are going to get hurt by your answers. If you already know it all, like some, then you dont really need to hear what anyone else needs to say. If you are going to ask for opinions, realize that Doms and subs both might have valuable things to say, and dont limit yourself to addressing one party unless it is very role specific. Dont get bent out of shape if both sides of the whip answer anyway. Dont be insulted if all genders answer something addressed to men or ladies only.

If you want opinions, you will get them. Just keep in mind thats exactly what they are, other peoples opinions that do not affect you unless you let them. Make use of them as a tool, but dont let them to get under your skin.

DV


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VampiresLair

(in reply to playfulotter)
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RE: UNSURE OF A POST! - 7/12/2008 7:50:29 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: playfulotter

Have you ever wanted to ask what others think on these message boards but you know either way it is not going to be good for  You so you renege.....and say to yourself....wow! i want opinions..but maybe i will be blasted?


Occasionally.  I felt more that way when I first came here though.  When I first joined, I was just out of a long-term D/s relationship and I was much more cynical than I am now while feeling wounded and insecure.  Made for an interesting mix inside myself, especially when I wanted answers to something that I was reflecting upon regarding the relationship I had just come out of and D/s dynamics in general.

What I found was that there are going to be some that agree with you and some that don't when you give your opinion.  There are going to be some that give you what comes across as good advice and some that give you what comes across as bad advice but a word of caution here...remember, as humans we tend to think "good advice" is only along the lines of what we were thinking anyway and it takes real objectivity to look at what is initially perceived as "bad advice...because it goes against our thoughts...and ask ourselves, "Now, is that really bad advice...or is it really good advice but I just don't like it?"

If everyone jumps on you, then you might want to pull back a bit and consider how you stated your question OR if you are really that far off the mark with your thoughts.

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RE: UNSURE OF A POST! - 7/12/2008 7:59:21 AM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ServingGirrl

i find that, as a newcomer to the forums, i can post what i hope is an interesting and pertinent response in a thread and it just gets ignored because i'm not part of "the gang" that has been posting on here for far longer than i have. 






We are not a gang, we are a club and we ride in vehicles close to the ground.

chia* (the pet)

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You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

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