IS BDSM more than sexual to you? (Full Version)

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dmc68 -> IS BDSM more than sexual to you? (7/26/2004 8:32:32 PM)

just curious how many here make it a 24/7 part of their life.



SherriA -> RE: IS BDSM more than sexual to you? (7/26/2004 8:39:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dmc68

just curious how many here make it a 24/7 part of their life.


BDSM isn't necessarily sexual for me, but it's not a 24/7 part of my life either. Sometimes play is intensely sexual, sometimes sexual energy would ruin the scene, and every variant you can think of between those two poles. I have lots of reasons for doing wiitid, and they're not all tied to my clit.

I don't have any desire for a 24/7 dynamic. It's just not something that would work for me, at least not at this point in my life.



dmc68 -> RE: IS BDSM more than sexual to you? (7/26/2004 8:54:09 PM)

I love reading the responses by Sherri and Berlin, they are always so genuine and informative.

Thanx for taking the time to share.



SherriA -> RE: IS BDSM more than sexual to you? (7/26/2004 9:09:47 PM)

Thanks :) It's nice to know someone is reading my musings, and even nicer to know someone is actually enjoying them.



MzBerlin -> RE: IS BDSM more than sexual to you? (7/26/2004 9:54:26 PM)

dmc-
I'm happy that you enjoy my posts. Thankyou.
If you have read the Contract thread, then you would know (some) of my thoughts on this. I desire a solid romantic relationship with concrete BDSM structure. So, no, BDSM is not all about sex for me. It is much, much more than sex. I see it as an extension of myself on many non-sexual levels.
As Always-
Berlin



proudsub -> RE: IS BDSM more than sexual to you? (7/26/2004 10:26:07 PM)

quote:

just curious how many here make it a 24/7 part of their life.


It's 24/7 for me in the sense that i serve my Dom (hubby) like a 50's wife. Even before learning about bdsm i did all the household chores inside and out. Now i see it all in a different light and get much more pleasure from it. However i do not consider myself a slave as i have a lot of freedom and independence.



dmc68 -> RE: IS BDSM more than sexual to you? (7/26/2004 11:48:43 PM)

sorry Berlin, I have not read your post on the contract thread and I doubt I will anytime soon. Cheers



kiki blue -> RE: IS BDSM more than sexual to you? (7/27/2004 4:43:44 AM)

kink isn't currently part of my life 24/7. It's part of my life, and it is something I indulge in quite often in some form. Relationships with a D/s dynamic is what I prefer to have, though being single at the moment, I'm not getting any of that either.


Kink play by itself isn't sexual to me, but if I'm playing with the person I'm emotionally and physically involved with, then it can become sexual.



melycious -> RE: IS BDSM more than sexual to you? (7/27/2004 5:58:17 AM)

~adds a note..that i read sherri's posts, just so i know what to plan for~

as for 24/7.. its not..i have a more then nilla bf..who does kinky things (vanilla with a twist) but its more about foreplay then anything else....i can not imagine myself in a more "traditional 24/7 role", mostly cause i think i would exhuast any dom to an early retirement...

as for play being sexual.... well.... yes and no.. normally i'm sexually aroused, althou when its good mind play, it is not always the first way i describe it... i keep intercourse out of my play encounters, out of respect for my other half, but its definately sexual for the most part...

on the other hand..i can *laughing* remember scenes at the Warehouse that i was getting beat with all of my favorite things, i was liking it..but it was soooooo far from sexual that if the wankers hadnt reminded me, i might have thought we were in the supermarket.

i think some of it depends on the relationship you have with the person you are playing with, to be honest, some of it depends on what time of month it is for me... get me a week before mensturation..and you could probably beat on yourself and have more fun if you were looking for a sexual reaction.. get me about 10 days after.. and you might need to wear a full body condom.. the telephone poles do *grins*, and some of it depends on the setting.. there are times in public play that i wished and prayed we would be transported to a much more private place.. cause well.. *grins* i had thoughts.... but the play is tempered because of situation

mely



LadyShoshin -> RE: IS BDSM more than sexual to you? (7/27/2004 6:26:49 AM)

BDSM is far more than sexual for me. I do consider myself living a 24/7 kink lifestyle, my roomie is kinky, my activities center around BDSM events and I play predominantly in public where no penetration or insertion is allowed.

I have a part time submissive and one client currently and am looking for more part time subs to make my life more enjoyable.

I have had sex twice since last January, but BDSM is very much a part of my daily life.



sbmssvkitten -> RE: IS BDSM more than sexual to you? (7/27/2004 6:57:55 AM)

oki, might risk lots of people might not believe me btu i think i got some proof that bdsm is not only about sex for me.
i have been playing online and r/l for nearly two years, ( till 1.5 years ago) till i even had sex for the first time in my life, i'm serious, was still a virgin at 26.[:o]. i didn't even had an orgasm during playing till the first time i met my master[:)][;)], which was 11 months and 5 days ago (and counting[:D]).
i'm not sure if i can call our relationship 24/7 BDSM but i live with him right now, and if it was my choice he was taking all the decisions (at least in my fantasy[&:]). but then again doens't 24/7 mean somehting different for everyone and every relationship??



Lawrence111 -> RE: IS BDSM more than sexual to you? (7/27/2004 3:06:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dmc68

just curious how many here make it a 24/7 part of their life.


I suppose I do not understand the question as it relates to the topic. So to answer:

- The topic, "IS BDSM more than sexual to you?" : The *acts* of BDSM are rarely sexual to me... wax play, flogging, single-tail, etc etc ... I am so focused on my partner that I don't have room to think about sex (unless it's a special partner, we are in private, and we're both naked... then things have just sorta' popped up.. eh-hem). But under general circumstances, I do not at all mind the lack of a sexual response because that focus (that pushes the sexual response away) is itself one of the turnons for me, along with the non-verbal communications going on. I am told that I am odd, being able to seperate the two, but it's always been like that for me and I prefer having my focus on my partner and not my own sexual drive (this has been referred to as "thinking with your brains and not your glands"). I guess it's as if I am thinking surgically (especially with the single-tail). I prefer it, feel more in control (part of the turn-on) and feel safer that way.

If we are in a bondage situation that is also a sexual situation, well yeah: the two go nicely together

- The statement "just curious how many here make it a 24/7 part of their life."

When my partner was living with me 24/7, the D/s dynamic was underneath everything. That doesn't mean that she was "Always nake/cuffs and collar only" (which is noted as an option in the "Interests" section of our profiles - oh please...), just that the understanding of who-was-who was always there. We still talked, listened to music, walked the dog, watched DVDs while eating popcorn ... all those little vanilla things that normal people do.

So in that aspect, it was a large part of our lives.

HTH

SIncerely,

Lawrence
Ithaca, NY



Sinergy -> RE: IS BDSM more than sexual to you? (7/27/2004 4:14:09 PM)

Hello,

I am not sure that the "act" of sex spends a lot of time in my BDSM activities.

D/s and sex come into play during the "act" itself.

But then I think the sex drive for most humans, the imperative impulse, is something
which colors each and every aspect of a person's consciousness.

So, for me, BDSM is not about sex, but BDSM has a sexual component even if it
is not acted upon to orgasm.

Clear as mud?

Sinergy



afmvdp -> RE: IS BDSM more than sexual to you? (7/27/2004 4:25:29 PM)

I think the question is a bit misleading. There is sexuality without sexual intercourse just as there can be intercourse without sexuality. I get a definite satisfaction during my activities though I would not say that they are beyond purely sexual and far more mental but if there was no sexual or mental satisfaction (this again does not mean intercourse or even physical touch interaction) then what would the be the point of it at all? Everyones looking for something, some need to fulfill in their actions.



Estring -> RE: IS BDSM more than sexual to you? (7/27/2004 4:52:15 PM)

I am with Lawrence on this. I am not sure how the question relates to the topic either.
As Lawrence stated, the D/s dynamic is underneath all that my slave and I do also. Even when we are doing vanilla activities. Although in my case, my slave is usually always naked, collared and cuffed at home.
The BDSM is sexual to me, but the control of my slave is just as important. I enjoy her submission and obedience.
What was the question again?



Sinergy -> RE: IS BDSM more than sexual to you? (7/27/2004 4:56:34 PM)

quote:

What was the question again?


*is hopeful that the question had to do with cheerleader outfits*

Sinergy



Laura -> RE: IS BDSM more than sexual to you? (7/27/2004 6:12:09 PM)

I'd never limit myself to 24/7. BDSM is more than sexual to me. Sex is also more than BDSM.



darchart -> RE: IS BDSM more than sexual to you? (7/27/2004 6:34:22 PM)

I had to edit this because I wasnt aware I had to pick who I was replying to..[:D]

So as to the question is it more than sexual.... well, yeah, DUH

(but I really wanna hear more about the cheerleading outfits.. are they on sale and where?)[:)]



iwillserveu -> RE: IS BDSM more than sexual to you? (7/27/2004 7:15:55 PM)

No, and yes. Define sex. Define 24/7 while you are at it. (If we are dressed vanilla-ly and I am washing the dishes without a whip in sight is that a 24/7 BDSM or D/s?



Sinergy -> RE: IS BDSM more than sexual to you? (7/27/2004 10:49:48 PM)

quote:

*is hopeful that the question had to do with cheerleader outfits*


So I am discussing cheerleader outfits with a submissive who says she hates
everything they represent.

I respond "Why do you think I feel a woman who wears one should be spanked
insensate and then anally ravaged repeatedly?"

I suppose I am sharing too much again, and for that I apologize.

Sinergy



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