RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help.

RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. (Full Version)

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abcbsex -> RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. (7/14/2008 9:32:05 AM)
I love anal because it gives me goosebumps all over, and the orgasms are intense. I'm often a sissy when it comes to it though, if Alpha goes too deep I end up not wanting it anymore and I'll ask if we can stop. If he wants to continue, I'll continue but it won't be too enjoyable. The more lube we have from the get-go, the more enjoyable it is.

lilsubl -> RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. (7/14/2008 9:49:00 AM)
the first time i experienced anal, it was non-consensual in that i had offered my vagina & he took my ass...it was dry & i was angry, but later when i thought about it, it became hot! i've had anal with a couple of other men, but his evilness likes it dry & hard & fast & it's the hottest yet for me...he says the reason he likes it so much is because of the spasms that taking me in that fashion creates...i'm a masochist, so the pain simply enhances the experience for me...last time, he inserted my fairly large butt plug into my vagina while taking my ass & i thought i'd die from the pleasure for both of us.....

Amaros -> RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. (7/14/2008 10:05:55 AM)
I've heard that from a few women, some don't even like it if you go to slow, and how you like it can be a bit of an aquired taste - an experienced woman can tell you what she wants and how she wants it - still, as a general rule, breaking in slowly with plenty of lube is I think, a good idea, I think it best to avoid trauma in this area if you have a choice or if you are inexperienced - everybody is different, different levels of relaxation, elasticity, muscle tone, etc., best to err on the side of caution rather than turn somebody off on what can otherwise be a very pleasurable experience. Also see: impacted colon, which can be unpleasant I hear.

opposingtwilight -> RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. (7/14/2008 10:10:09 AM)
Just a hint about the "plenty of lube" advice ... Using too much lubricant can be dangerous in its own right. The sphincter muscle MUST relax to a certain degree if you're going to safely engage in anal play. If you just use a ton of lube and make it super slippery but don't relax enough first, it just makes it easier to tear that muscle because there's less resistance to something being jammed in. With that said, I know -some- people really enjoy it when anal hurts. I'm not knocking whatever anyone may or may not enjoy.

TwoNYCDommes -> RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. (7/14/2008 10:18:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slayergirl6985 What I'm looking for here is an understanding of what men find appealing about this sexual activity and I want to hear about women's experiences. I enjoy it primarily for the humilation/degradation factor, and the pleasure I take in causing my partners pain is an added bonus. Sadly, strap-on's don't have nerve endings so I can't comment on how it feels inside.

Amaros -> RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. (7/14/2008 11:05:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: opposingtwilight Just a hint about the "plenty of lube" advice ... Using too much lubricant can be dangerous in its own right. The sphincter muscle MUST relax to a certain degree if you're going to safely engage in anal play. If you just use a ton of lube and make it super slippery but don't relax enough first, it just makes it easier to tear that muscle because there's less resistance to something being jammed in. With that said, I know -some- people really enjoy it when anal hurts. I'm not knocking whatever anyone may or may not enjoy. Good point, feedback is important, and I generally think of it as added bonus, rather than the main course - a good strong vaginal orgasm first will tend to relax your pelvic muscles. The clitoris is actually a rather large and extensive collection of ganglia, it has "wings" that extend down either side of the vagina between the outer and inner labia and there are concentrations of ganglia in the inner sheath, just beneath the pubic bone (the G spot) and another behind the cervix - the perineum is also very sensitive, and another "hot spot" all of which anal penetration may help stimulate. The clitoris/vagina a much more complicated organ than is generally thought, and anal stimulation is more of an extension of the clitoral ganglia (though technically, these ganglia are part of the vagus nerve) whereas in males, the protrate itself is sort of a G spot.

FRSguy -> RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. (7/14/2008 12:07:17 PM)
I am very much into anal and have introduced virtually every woman I have been with into it very successfully and got them all to do it on a regular basis. Nothing makes me prouder from going from a woman that is.. well maybe … to asking me for it and wanting it! This is what I love about Anal: 1- No back wall or Cervix --- Once a woman’s body is accustomed to me I can go as deep as I want for the most part and never crash into the cervix. 2- Tighter with full circle --- woman’s ass clamps equally pressure around the shaft where vaginal is top to bottom crushing motion. 3- No ballooning --- usually when a woman is very aroused the inside of her deep inside balloons so the head of the cock can go into emptiness leaving the bulk of the stimulation on the lower half of my cock when I am all the way in. A woman’s ass puts even stimulation around my entire cock. 4- Can cum and keep going without a loss of sensation. When I cum in a woman’s ass I can keep going with equal stimulation without the added moisture loosening things up. 5- Keeps the pussy clean for eating. I can fuck a woman in the ass two or three times and still eat her pussy and use it for other things. 6- Submitting --- This is a me thing --- I insist every time that a woman completely give me her ass.. I never “take” a womans ass. I know it can be uncomfortable and in some way unwanted yet in spite of that there is nothing like having a woman bend over and spread her cheeks and you can tell that she is uncertain how things will go. 7- Adds a totally new dimension to sex. Two holes that need to be treated two different ways…love it! 8- Over the organs…lol --- this is a weird one. My cock always goes up and over the cervix so this goes in with number 1 at the top. I can “feel” her body parts. 9- Lack of competition / greater intimacy / proof of trust. – Okay… a girl could have fucked 80 men in her life and it’s a pretty good bet her ass has only had it twice. For some reason trying it twice is a pretty standard number. Being the one to truly pop that cherry and make it into something the woman can spend the rest of her life enjoying is really great. Also, there are trust factors. The woman trusts that you wont rip her apart when you can so easily. That pretty much means that I have beaten out the other 78 guys and succeeded where two other have failed ( at least in my mind) HOW TO DO IT: 1.- Establish the woman’s ass as a point of sexual interest. --- Give a girl some credit for having a great ass. This means comment, grad, swat it when you walk past…. Caress it during after play. After a while she will begin to ease up mentally and feel comfortable with the idea that it can be a very sexual part of the body. Other things you can try is panty checks where you make sure she is wearing good panties ect. Anything to give her ass some attention but don’t be obsessive. 2- Establish sensual erotic feelings. I usually do this with casual massage where I put the woman over my lap and casually give her an ass rub. I have never heard of any person not liking getting the cheeks of there ass massaged and it’s a good jump off point. When doing this leave her pussy alone. Massage the cheeks of her ass so that she relaxes then of course a ton of oil around her hole and then gently massage the muscles. The woman needs to learn about how to play with the muscles and sensations with that area and the finger is a good practice for her. Things to establish is that pushing can allow things to enter more easily and clamping down does not interfere. Slowly and casually stretch the woman out. This should be a feel good sensation not an orgasmic or stressful one. This is probably the most crucial stage because she has to learn how to react to that “I need to go to the bathroom” sensation. Remember where it’s a feel good thing to have something else going on at the same time for distraction like the T.V. or something. 3- Cleanliness – okay a lot of woman have issues with not being clean down there so at some point you have to introduce the enema. Most woman get into this to a degree and usually get so that they do it regularly which means that you have to predictable. 4- Okay so now that you have spent a couple of months at numbers 1-3 at some point she is going to have to take a dick. So… go through your numbers all on one day then its time to shut off the T.V. or whatever you use for a distraction and then lay on the floor so to speak. Take it very slow and use lots of lube. For lube what seems to work best is old fashion vegetable oil pored into a crucible and microwave for about a minute. That way you have tons of it for real cheap and there is no graininess to it or odor. I have found that the best first time position is with the woman on her back and knees brought up to her chest. With the woman on her back she can make eye contact (trust) and you can read her expressions better. Pull out often and reenter … your first time you want her to be able to “play” with the entrance and exit sensations. Have her push against it slightly and never go in more than an inch or so before pulling back out to make sure the lube works its way inside and that she stretches comfortable out in the deeper portions. After a while you can work out better positions and what not. Once she has her first orgasm (this takes a while but usually happens at some point) she will be shocked and curious and then she will be asking for it …LOL. A few other things that I have discovered. Once a womans ass is stretched out from cock it can take up to two weeks for it go back to its original size although most of the return occurs within 48 hours. When learning ass play its better to take the woman at least every 2 weeks so that her ass does not have a chance to go 100% back to normal. Most woman that I have known when learning it can rarely take it more than once a week. Best position to achieve orgasm so far has been with the woman flat on her belly, which seems to force the cock more forward than usual. Woman respond better if they know they are going to have an orgasm regardless so if you know she didn’t have an orgasm (most likely the case) then make sure she is taken care of. Eating her pussy is really good for this because you can finger and eat and most woman will orgasm that way. You want her to associate things so that she knows when she is getting it in the ass she will be given an orgasm one way or the other. It usually takes a woman about a year to a year and a half to get really accustomed to it and be able to really take it with gusto and have the occasional orgasm. At this time of course you can increase the frequency you do it and you can have fun getting her to present and give so to speak. Anyways, thats my take on it in brief....lol OH and... DONT FUCK IT UP! When a woman is learning all this (learning as in experienceing and learning from those experiences) if you screw up so much as once as far as hurting her it can set her training back weeks or even months so.... be very patient and move much slower than you think she is ready for that way she is mentally and phisically ready for it.

eyesopened -> RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. (7/14/2008 12:52:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SandyBottom Actually anal sex gives better access to your prostate, Except for women..because women don't have prostate glands at all. Now, prostate stimulation is one thing men love about receiving anal...even the occassional finger up the ass ~grins~

batshalom -> RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. (7/14/2008 1:10:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael Forget penetration for now. Whenever you are making love and you are getting near orgasm, <snip> playing with that super sensitive area is hot. <snip> but at some point your lover is going to be doing that to you and feel your "inner slut" pressing your ass against that finger, hungry for MORE. Now, I am a sadist and will of course give LESS, <snip> I only snipped parts of this because I couldn't stand to read it all again. Good god, Michael. ~glazed look~ You really know how to get to a girl.

malloves69 -> RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. (7/14/2008 1:20:48 PM)
love anal sex [:)] doing it and having it done to me [:)] my mistress knows my ass well i must say [:)] love when she uses her strapons on me [:)] and whats even better is when she fists me anally [:)] once she slides in that feeling is amazing [:)] and she knows my prostate well i must say [:)] love when she milks me because i have no control over it ..i swear her fingers are magical [:)] yes i love fucking a womans ass too [:)] love cumming in a womans ass and then watching it drip out [:)] that is hot and very erotic as far as im concerned [:)] lets just say im a equal oppurtunity kind of guy and not afraid to talk about it [:)] assuming the position for her anytime she wants [:)] have fun mal

willowspirit -> RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. (7/14/2008 1:57:52 PM)
To Nikolette and OP and others... The angle of approach and position matter. Aiming toward the spine or to my left side doesn't seem to work. Also remember, there is good pain and BAD pain ! Any Dominant worth your trust should DEMAND that you tell Him IMMEDIATELY about the medically damaging bad pain. No O/one likes to be in the hospital's emergency room trying to explain an anal fissure or perittenitis (spelling?) or golf ball size blood clots.

abcbsex -> RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. (7/14/2008 3:26:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: willowspirit To Nikolette and OP and others... The angle of approach and position matter. Aiming toward the spine or to my left side doesn't seem to work. Also remember, there is good pain and BAD pain ! Any Dominant worth your trust should DEMAND that you tell Him IMMEDIATELY about the medically damaging bad pain. No O/one likes to be in the hospital's emergency room trying to explain an anal fissure or perittenitis (spelling?) or golf ball size blood clots. When there's bad pain, I can't "tough it out", I usually end up backing away violently!

SimplyMichael -> RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. (7/14/2008 4:45:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: batshalom quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael Forget penetration for now. Whenever you are making love and you are getting near orgasm, <snip> playing with that super sensitive area is hot. <snip> but at some point your lover is going to be doing that to you and feel your "inner slut" pressing your ass against that finger, hungry for MORE. Now, I am a sadist and will of course give LESS, <snip> I only snipped parts of this because I couldn't stand to read it all again. Good god, Michael. ~glazed look~ You really know how to get to a girl. I have my moments.

CalifChick -> RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. (7/14/2008 4:57:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FRSguy 9- Lack of competition / greater intimacy / proof of trust. – Okay… a girl could have fucked 80 men in her life and it’s a pretty good bet her ass has only had it twice. Twice? Seriously? Okay... and then there are those of us who are... let's see, how does MB put it... oh yes, "seasoned by experience." Hope that doesn't eliminate me from anybody's list. quote: HOW TO DO IT: 1.- Establish the woman’s ass as a point of sexual interest. 2- Establish sensual erotic feelings. Okay so now that you have spent a couple of months at numbers 1-3 A couple of months? Months? I thought that first said a couple of minutes, and I was good with that, but months????? quote: I have found that the best first time position is with the woman on her back and knees brought up to her chest. Disagree. On her side, she can push back against you with her ass, instead of you pushing into her. Pretty difficult to do that and for her to have a lot of control with her knees on her chest. All in all though, pretty darn good, and well, ummm, I think it got kinda warm in here. Cali

Nikolette -> RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. (7/14/2008 5:45:30 PM)
willowspirit: Good suggestion on the angle and position. I've noticed similar things myself. Personally it goes best if I'm on top and the person has a reasonably thin sized penis. When we finally succeded with the irrational amount of lube (and of course I was relaxing, not just letting the lube do all the work, as someone else cautioned) I was my knees. But, to reiterate, the angle was of supreme importance. I've noticed times when he went in at a certan angle it just wasn't going to happen at all. And the discomfort caused us to stop for the night, because once it gets tender I just can't relax enough at all. Wholly agree about pain, personally, I HATE anal pain, so I ensured I wasn't in any. Mild discomfort yes, pain no. AND... I also wholly agree that the person in control ought to demand he/she is adequately informed of things. In the example I was giving, I'm the Top, and I certainly would have alerted him about any pain.

beltainefaerie -> RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. (7/14/2008 6:23:16 PM)
I adore anal sex. It makes me feel very thoroughly used in a way that vaginal sex doesn't. It also feeds the submissive part of me very deeply. It is one of my favorite ways to serve. I suppose part of it is that I am not inherently "supposed" to enjoy it. It makes me feel happily slutty. I enjoy the psychological experience as well the physical. Also, I am not sure why, but anal sex makes me extremely wet. I would agree with the suggestions you've already gotten on how to prepare for it or get into it. Good luck!

Sandyshores29718 -> RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. (7/14/2008 7:17:37 PM)
I think Im becoming an anal slut. :) Really though, your body will get use to it over time. Just depends on how you and your partner want to do anal. My play partner and I like the pain...why not having him use his fingers first..one then two, ect till your relaxed enough and so wet your begging for it. floats giggles and I use to say my body was not made for anal. [;)] The throbbing after anal sex excites me..Love the feeling of being so used.

takemeforyourown -> RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. (7/14/2008 8:46:22 PM)
I don't like it. I submit to it. The only thing that's good about it is the feeling I get from submitting as well as I can. I try to relax and breathe and hope that it will be over soon without permanent damage. I try not to picture myself condemned to diapers and fecal incontinence in my old age. I wish that hole only opened one way. On the other hand, I have had some wonderful experiences with finger play in that area. I just don't like the whole enchilada up there.

slayergirl6985 -> RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. (7/15/2008 6:35:11 PM)
Thank you to everyone that has replied to my post. You've have helped me so much, I'm learning so much and I look forward to each new post. Thank you!

Dezz -> RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. (7/16/2008 4:53:04 AM)
i love my ass being fingered and we have lots of toys that are as big if not bigger than a penis. i attempted receiving anal with my first hubby a few times but we didn't have much success as he's also submissive and couldn't deal with the power thing, but he could take it like there's no tomorrow! It's best if it just happens as part of play, but K is a kind being and ensures i'm well prepared before going 'heavy duty' on my hole. By that stage all idea of pain has flown out the window and my ass becomes the entire concept of my reality.

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