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RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. - 7/16/2008 9:14:19 AM

angelikaJ

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(did not read all the responses)

2 great books and one website

Anal Pleasure and Health by Jack Morin

The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women by Tristan Taormino
http://www.puckerup.com

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RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. - 7/16/2008 3:04:46 PM

lostkitten2

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Women do have a prostate. It right where the "g-spot" is and what makes women squirt, which is why some of you get more wet with anal sex.

Yes, the best starter position is definitely on the side, so she can blast accross the room to the toilet when she feels like she's ppoing, which happens, but people rarely poop in bed. It just feels like it will

And honey, if it hurts and you get no pleasure out of it, please tell you dom to stop doing it.

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RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. - 7/17/2008 7:37:17 AM

CreativeDominant

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slayergirl6985

I've been involved with a few different guys that have been interested in anal sex. Now I'm generally the type of person who will try just about anything once and I have tried it. Unfortunately I had some bad experiences with it, which had made me fearful of trying again. The last guy I was with wanted to and my fear was the only thing holding me back. (Although my fear was quickly being replaced by my strong desire to please him.) What I'm looking for here is an understanding of what men find appealing about this sexual activity and I want to hear about women's experiences. I hoping that hearing others experiences will help make me more open to the possiblity of anal sex in the future.

kiwi made a nice start on answering this. I wanted to throw out my feelings about it before I read any of the other posts.

As she noted, one of the biggest draws to me is the feeling of doing something "taboo". After all, when I was growing up, that area of the body was "forbidden" to anything except eliminating waste and being washed. And if those sensations you felt while you were washing turned you on, well...you were just sick. And if you thought about pushing your cock into some willing girl's ass and how pleasurable that would be, you were even sicker. Even today, that "condemnation" still exists in some areas of society and hence, helps to make it a draw.

As she also noted, the tightness is a turn-on. As are the sensations. Not being a female and not having been on the receiving end, I can only go with what those I have done it with have told me about what it feels like to them. To me, as the giver, there is a difference in heat...a difference in the way her ass muscles contract around my cock...a difference in the tone of her voice as she speaks/whimpers/begs/moans...a difference in the "slick" factor.

There is the humiliation factor. The stimulation of playing with her mind and letting her know, and then doing so, that you are going to take her ass...that she is an assfuck slut who craves being taken where she "should not be...should not want to be...but does".

There is the intimacy factor. I know a submissive who told me one time that she felt that cock-in-pussy fucking was way more intimate than ass-fucking because "emotions" are involved in cock-in-pussy fucking. All I could do was raise my brow. Ask yourself this...male or female; How many of you, on one night stands or during those first schoolyear forays into sexuality, did assfucking as part of your regular routine vs. cock-in-pussy fucking? Were you giving that level of trust to these first casual partners? Were you willing to let it be known that you dug anal with these first partners? Was anal your first experimentation with sex or did it come about after "training" of some sort and with established partners or at least, partners you trusted?

There is the pain/pleasure factor. One of the few times that my ex-wife admitted to enjoying pain was the pain she experienced during anal. Of the few submissives I have done anal with...and no, I have not done anal with all of them (see the intimacy-trust post above)...all have acknowledged the pain is a big part of the pleasure for them and, in ways that most can't describe except to relate it to the overall submissive/masochist aspect, to the control by the dominant.

Finally, there is the control factor that comes into play when you approach this as dominant/submissive. The feeling that you can and will take this exquisitely pleasurable, forbidden fuckhole because she has become "yours" to the point where this part of hers is now "yours" to do with as you please.

< Message edited by CreativeDominant -- 7/17/2008 7:56:04 AM >

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RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. - 7/17/2008 11:19:02 AM

Amaros

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I've heard quite a few men mention they get turned on by how "submissive" it is: i.e., it sin't something "nice" girls do, and in a sense, the submission consists in a certain sense in the act of becoming a "slut" - to me however, it's more of a an intimacy issue - the same thing holds true insofar as burning your bridges as a chaste female, but I see it more as a form of trust.

Of course, this will apply more to people with those lingering hangups, I've known women who thought no more of it than an interesting variation, but there are considerable psychodynamics involved for a lot of people - it's a huge bugaboo for the religious right for instance who are against any form of recreational sex and very political about it, are particularly sensitive to the whole good/evil thing, etc., and have this big feminine orgasm denial/breeder fetish, i.e., women really aren't supposed to enjoy sex, they're just there to serve the mans needs - which is fine, if that works for you, but female sexual response has also evolved for a reason, and how you approach anal sex should really be not much different than how you approach vaginal, or any other of the ways you express your sexuality and how you "feed your needs".

I guess a lot of the pleasure for me is gettting somebody to finally let go of all that - damn the torpedos, ya' know? A limit like that is tantamount to a divided loyalty to me: it signifies that you value some third party opinion of you more than mine - you cannot serve two masters, etc. Unless, of course, you have medical issues, excessively squicky, etc. which I can respect in proportion to the problem.

So it's roughly the same dynamic either way I think, but depending on the dom they will probobly see it as either and act of intimacy or and act of submission - not that those are mutually exclusive either.

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RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. - 7/17/2008 11:28:44 AM

CalifChick

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Amaros

I've heard quite a few men mention they get turned on by how "submissive" it is: i.e., it sin't something "nice" girls do, and in a sense, the submission consists in a certain sense in the act of becoming a "slut" -

Well fiddlefuck... this means I've been a bad girl since, uhh, since uhhhh, four years before I could vote.

On a serious note, I blame books. I was always reading books far above my "age level", and I remember reading some books about embracing and really becoming knowledgeable about your sex life and your body and letting go of any sexual hangups, all that self-help stuff. It really shaped my attitude about sex because I've never seen anal sex as taboo, and I've always been mystified when grown women refuse to do it based on preconceived notions on what it's like or what it means.

Sigh. I guess that's why I'm "seasoned by experience."

Cali

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RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. - 7/17/2008 11:39:08 AM

Amaros

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Yeah, for a lot of us who read the "Joy of Sex" before puberty, and were at least around during the sexual revolution, it really is no big deal - in more conservative circles, even if it isn't, you're supposed to act like it is, or put up with a lot of neurotic psychosexual harangues.

This is wierd country that way, but I think it mainly boils down to the fact that it's a very handy way to keep social conservatives distracted: exploit their sexual guilt complexes by pretending you'll "do something about it", then get 'em worked up and send them on a snipe hunt while you rape and loot the economy.

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RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. - 7/17/2008 11:44:04 AM

MistressScarlot

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In most cases, anal training is /necessary/ for it to become an activity that is not only enjoyable, but /amazing/.

Strictly from a Woman's perspective, the truth is that you can have some amazing orgasms with anal sex. Anal stimulation, really.

1. If you're squicky...there are ways to make you feel better. Use an enema! Fleet enemas work just fine. Also, if it's medically ok for you, fast for 24 hours before anal play. You'll have the mental assurance that yo've done everything you can.

2. Realize that...it's just poop. No one is going to die if someone sees a little poop. The truth is, ALL of us are poop machines. It's part of our reality, and we're all grownups. We can handle poop. Recession? Gas prices? That's something else entirely. Poop, pshaw. Piece of cake.

3. Educate yourself. Watch some (good) anal porn. You'll know it's good if you hear ridiculous noises come out of the girl. Gain a sense of what kind of pleasure is possible with anal...instead of thinking only in terms of your internal limits for whatever reasons you have them.

Anal training can be done in many ways, there is nothing wrong with taking your time to ensure the best possible outcome. Most people who have....negative experiences probably had someone on the "driving" end that didn't know what they were doing.

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RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. - 7/17/2008 12:15:37 PM

Amaros

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I am curious as to why so many subs on this site list enemas as a hard limit - it could be overdone, but it seems to me pretty much the best way to approach it, as its the least invasive - bad experiences at the hands of sadists?

Anyway, after two kids, diaper changing, annual stomach flu, etc., it would take a lot of shit to scare me.

< Message edited by Amaros -- 7/17/2008 12:17:18 PM >

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RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. - 7/17/2008 12:52:28 PM

malloves69

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i do enemas at least 2 times a week before i see my mistress and im fine with them

she loves that im clean for her inside as well as outside when she walks in the door

have my own 2 qt bag ..after 3 good bag fulls im pretty clean

saw her yesterday ..she fucked me first with the strapons and then she fisted me 3 times

that first time being fisted is awesome once she slides in

my lady my mistress knows my ass and prostate well i must say

have fun mal ..much better by the way when a woman gives a man a enema before -hand i think ..kinda sets the submissive mood thing real fast as she does so

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RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. - 7/17/2008 1:59:29 PM

SimplyMichael

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People doing anal for the first time can be idiots. I probably ruined anal for my first girlfriend. We never had intercourse but I used to finger both holes all the time. Well we decided to try anal and my cockhead is rather large and well I forced it in with just spit for lube, she screamed and rather that just stop and let her relax, I yanked it BACK out, which resulted in more screaming AND crying and ended any attempts at anal.

I read somewhere of another reason anal is so pleasurable and why many women experience orgasm that way. At the back/bottom of the uterus, there is a nerve bundle that a long enough cock can hit that produced pleasure. I tried googling it and couldn't find anything but searching for "anal" gets mainly porn.

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RE: Trying to Understand Anal...please help. - 7/17/2008 5:32:11 PM

variation30

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slayergirl6985

I've been involved with a few different guys that have been interested in anal sex. Now I'm generally the type of person who will try just about anything once and I have tried it. Unfortunately I had some bad experiences with it, which had made me fearful of trying again. The last guy I was with wanted to and my fear was the only thing holding me back. (Although my fear was quickly being replaced by my strong desire to please him.) What I'm looking for here is an understanding of what men find appealing about this sexual activity and I want to hear about women's experiences. I hoping that hearing others experiences will help make me more open to the possiblity of anal sex in the future.

a) anal sex feels great. it is always tight and hot.

b) it's more of an act of dominance than vaginal sex as it demands more of a surrender from the woman. it (initially) requires more of a sacrifice in the form of pain from the woman for the pleasure of the man. it's also more rare and even taboo and for a woman to agree to such a practice despite these things also adds to its inherent dominance.

I like it mainly for reason b, but reason a isn't bad either.

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