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Rape fantasies - some thoughts... - 7/13/2008 4:18:13 PM

sodsta

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From: London, England
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I've just been doing a bit of reading on rape fantasies, after recently having read a discussion about why some people have them. A couple of interesting things came up, so I thought I'd share them...

Some people like imagining themselves as so irresistible and unattainable that their attacker must let loose their animalistic instincts

The most commonly held theory about this phenomenon is that many individuals turn to fantasies about being raped as a means of reconciling naturally-occurring sexual desires with the intense negative stigma their culture and/or creed affix to sexual activity. The fantasy serves as a psychological device through which the fantasizer can safely indulge in intense sexual experiences without guilt, by absolving themselves of responsibility for participating in the act

Rape fantasies can also represent an outlet for sexually submissive and/or dominant individuals. In such fantasies they can imagine themselves as having or lacking sexual control or power without actually participating in an illegal or immoral act.

It seems that the latter is probably the most common reason behind the desire/fantasy among kinksters, but I was wondering how much the other two points factor into those fantasies?

I guess my question is... If you have a rape fantasy, what do you think is the motivator behind it? Do any of the above points ring true for you, and are there other reasons you find the idea appealing?

< Message edited by sodsta -- 7/13/2008 4:19:52 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: Rape fantasies - some thoughts... - 7/13/2008 4:54:26 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
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From: Charleston, WV
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I absolutely have the first one, but I'd not call it a rape fantasy, per sae. Just a really hot fuck fantasy. :-)

Master Fire

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RE: Rape fantasies - some thoughts... - 7/13/2008 5:07:58 PM

sweetwenchie

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From: Sacramento, California
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The first reason you mentioned has no bearing at all on my own enjoyment of rape fantasies and rape play. For me it is more about the seemingly unrestrained violence, primal beastial actions, and loss of all control. The sensation of being totally overpowered and used is one that holds great appeal.

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RE: Rape fantasies - some thoughts... - 7/13/2008 5:18:31 PM

leakylee

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i think wenchie pretty much summed it up to a T.. perfect perfect..

drolly even..

lee

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RE: Rape fantasies - some thoughts... - 7/13/2008 6:01:46 PM

L8bloomer

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I know this may sound nitpicky to some but I really wish there was another term for it other than "rape fantasy". I can't imagine any woman in her right mind actually wanting a rape and I know the "rape fantasy" isn't the same thing but it uses the same word.

Sorry, I know this isn't responding to the OP's post, but it just makes me feel icky inside when I see that phrase.

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RE: Rape fantasies - some thoughts... - 7/13/2008 6:26:57 PM

Misstoyou

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sodsta

I've just been doing a bit of reading on rape fantasies, after recently having read a discussion about why some people have them. A couple of interesting things came up, so I thought I'd share them...

Some people like imagining themselves as so irresistible and unattainable that their attacker must let loose their animalistic instincts
...

OMG that is so funny, because that is *exactly* the basis of my "rape" fantasy when I was 14!

But you forgot the second part. My fantasy male of choice would always discover he could actually never do it because he would fall hopelessly in love with me...

Any wonder I turned out Domme.

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RE: Rape fantasies - some thoughts... - 7/13/2008 6:31:50 PM

NeedingMore220

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetwenchie

The first reason you mentioned has no bearing at all on my own enjoyment of rape fantasies and rape play. For me it is more about the seemingly unrestrained violence, primal beastial actions, and loss of all control. The sensation of being totally overpowered and used is one that holds great appeal.

Yep, that's it in a nutshell.

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RE: Rape fantasies - some thoughts... - 7/13/2008 8:21:57 PM

VioletAshes

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Joined: 1/16/2008
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I prefer to think of them as 'Forced Sex Fantasies' which to me carries a different connotation than rape. Some may argue that they are the same but to me Forced Sex does not involve malicious intent... As to why I have them...? I would like to know that too...

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RE: Rape fantasies - some thoughts... - 7/13/2008 8:25:54 PM

Sandyshores29718

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I would not call what I have "rape fantasies" the term rape is a limit for me, but the idea of someone using a knife at my throat and making me do things and using me for their pleasure is very hot! Why? I've no clue!

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Post #: 9

RE: Rape fantasies - some thoughts... - 7/13/2008 8:31:04 PM

ShySubbie2ServeU

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Joined: 5/26/2008
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The most commonly held theory about this phenomenon is that many individuals turn to fantasies about being raped as a means of reconciling naturally-occurring sexual desires with the intense negative stigma their culture and/or creed affix to sexual activity. The fantasy serves as a psychological device through which the fantasizer can safely indulge in intense sexual experiences without guilt, by absolving themselves of responsibility for participating in the act

Rape fantasies can also represent an outlet for sexually submissive and/or dominant individuals. In such fantasies they can imagine themselves as having or lacking sexual control or power without actually participating in an illegal or immoral act.

OP -- For me my Forced Sex Fantasies have been largely motivated by the top reason (90+%) with a little of the bottom reason thrown in for good measure.

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Post #: 10

RE: Rape fantasies - some thoughts... - 7/13/2008 11:16:57 PM

ApathyRomance

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. . . Fantasies?

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Post #: 11

RE: Rape fantasies - some thoughts... - 7/14/2008 3:31:32 AM

MissVix

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Joined: 8/20/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetwenchie

The first reason you mentioned has no bearing at all on my own enjoyment of rape fantasies and rape play. For me it is more about the seemingly unrestrained violence, primal beastial actions, and loss of all control. The sensation of being totally overpowered and used is one that holds great appeal.

This is pretty much on the button for me - from both sides of the crop!

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Post #: 12

RE: Rape fantasies - some thoughts... - 7/14/2008 6:18:03 AM

MansStrength

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My current bitch, loves the word and the deed-she uses it far more than I do. I take her whenever I want; she refers to it (seemingly at her discretion) as being raped. Her definition is- if she isn't in the mood.
If I tell her to take off her clothes or start to use her in other ways, like sexing her up in public, and slapping her across the face or just taking her in the garden-which I love to do on her knees in the dirt- it then it triggers a feeling in her that she is being taken against her will. Now, the funny part is this feeling gets her hotter n' hell, so at some point she wants it more than if she started it herself! Rape?

He mind set is loss of control. She is a doc, and always has to be the one with the answers. She loves coming home and losing all control, having no say over decisions, being told what to do, and so on. Her other favorite fantasy which ties into it neatly-at least in my opinion-is me using her, but not doing anything to let her cum, then me sitting there, and talking on the phone, or be working as I send in other servants, female or male to make her cum. And I tell them "Not to let the bitch up till she cums." It being beneath my trouble. A key part for her is that I watch, but not be involved. Watch? WHAT?
So for her, it’s a rape of a different kind. She has never been with a women, has all sorts of prohibitions against it, and looooves the idea of being forced to do it, and also have a big black guy do it to her too. I hate telling her how vanilla that fantasy it is. She thinks it is wildly sexy.
She still is having trouble resolving the fact that she loves to be slapped and beaten, and being masturbated against her will, and thinks there is something wrong with her. I have showed her so much material including this site. The most I get is a smile that I am so perverted! Oh my gosh she has no idea what is in store for her. Now of course, I am going to begin planning to make things happen if I can find a girl willing to serve in that way. In some ways it's more fun perverting a vanilla person to this life.

At what point is rape really rape? I would imagine for most the fantasy would stop at being actually raped. She tells me that if some guy actually wanted to rape her every instinct in her would be to submit to him. She thinks men are the natural leaders and women should submit on a primal level. Another fantasy she has had since her teenage years was that she was in court and her rapist was let go with the judge saying something like "He didn't hurt you at all. All he did was rape you. Stop complaining. Dismissed!" And she had to walk out of court with the rapist. Then she fantasizes him coming back that night to rape her again with her then crying but feeling she had to submit to her rape. My particular delight is that she now dreams that guy was me, and the judge more or less gives her to me or gives me rights to her. Weird.
One thing I have learned in my life is that many women have just as dirty a mind as men, but some I have known were far more creative and detailed in their slutty needs. You just have to find out what fills their dreams.

< Message edited by MansStrength -- 7/14/2008 6:26:58 AM >

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Post #: 13

RE: Rape fantasies - some thoughts... - 7/14/2008 7:37:37 AM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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1 & 2, but not 3 here. I love it when I'm doing something mundane like folding laundry and he's overcome by a sudden attack of lust and bends me over a pile of clean clothes to take me. I also enjoy freedom from thinking about it, which includes the whole "good girls don't" stuff, appropriate at a young age but not at an older age. If he overpowers me then it wasn't my fault and I'm still a good girl, to make it very simplistic. But for me it's primarily #1, that I'm so hot he can't resist me.

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RE: Rape fantasies - some thoughts... - 7/14/2008 7:39:36 AM

variation30

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From: Alabama
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetwenchie

The first reason you mentioned has no bearing at all on my own enjoyment of rape fantasies and rape play. For me it is more about the seemingly unrestrained violence, primal beastial actions, and loss of all control. The sensation of being totally overpowered and used is one that holds great appeal.

sup.

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or old.

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RE: Rape fantasies - some thoughts... - 7/14/2008 10:04:10 AM

StormsSlave

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Intensity, intensity, intensity. I'm an intensity junky. What can be more intense than being pinned down and used in a primal, animalistic way. Save the psychobabble. If it feels good...do it again.

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RE: Rape fantasies - some thoughts... - 7/14/2008 11:22:37 PM

briarrosethorne

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Joined: 7/24/2007
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Loss of control here...and the ''violence'' just love it! Not sure why.... I used to think
I was a broken person because of my "forced sex fantasies"

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Post #: 17

RE: Rape fantasies - some thoughts... - 7/15/2008 2:18:22 AM

Soulhuntre

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Joined: 9/29/2005
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The motivations are one of the things Tatsumi's discusses in a podcast episode she did about rape play. You might find it useful.

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RE: Rape fantasies - some thoughts... - 7/15/2008 1:00:11 PM

cindee84

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Joined: 6/15/2007
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I am so glad I found this forum. I thought I was crazy. The rape fantasy is the only real fantasy I've had. It's because I was raised in a good home where we went to church every Sunday. I STILL go to church every Sunday, because it has been so engrained in me, and I'm almost 24.
If I was taken against my will then whatever happened would not be my fault. I would in the end still be able to be the person I am. I'm a piano teacher to little kids, I have my own buisiness as a personal assistant to overworked mothers, where I cook, clean, run errands, pay bills, whatever. Like I said before, I go to church every Sunday. Does that sound like the sort of person who can live a BDSM lifestyle by choice? If it ever got out, then what mother would ever want me arround their children? By having rape fantasies I can completely remove the two parts of my life, physically, mentally, etc. It's a phsycological safety net. I can't explain it anymore than that

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Post #: 19

RE: Rape fantasies - some thoughts... - 7/15/2008 1:28:10 PM

jade01

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Not certain where to place this, not exactly an answer or reply to anyone and please forgive if this seems a bit de-railed.

But what about those, having been there done that for real, against there will, and ‘yet still’, having the rape fantasies?

1) Took forever to accept the word rape and rape were not one and the same, which one was not concentual the other is, and in a sense this made the difference.
2) Being submissive to someone, wanting, needing that controlled feeling in the sexual sense, the taking sometimes, well it fulfills this part.

For a while I felt ‘very’ weird for the double standard in a sense on my part (not everyone may have this same dilemma about this).

I hope sharing this will help someone else know, it is ok to let go of the past and still have the desires and they are ‘not’ weird, strange, or out of wack for feeling the way they do…

Just MPOV
Sincerely
jade

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Post #: 20

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