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TreasureKY -> RE: Cunnilingus - are you converted? (7/14/2008 2:31:41 PM)
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I agree with several others here who've said that they've experienced poor performers. I attribute most of that to lack of communication, but sometimes it's just hard to tell someone who is trying so hard to please you that what they are doing isn't doing it for you.
Plus... I hate to say it but a lot of men have very fragile egos; they just can't take helpful direction... they see it as criticism and either pout or get defensive.
It's one of the reasons that I posted a bit of very generic information late last year in Another Holiday Gift... reposted here for convenience sake. [;)]
quote:
ORIGINAL: TreasureKY
Around this time last year I posted a “holiday gift” to dominants in a thread and shared some helpful hints on how a dominant might go about exploring his sub’s kinkier side. I thought I’d continue the tradition and offer up some unsolicited advice that may or may not be of use, but might not otherwise be as freely given. This year, I thought I'd broach the subject of cunnilingus.
Bear in mind that I’m hardly an expert on all women and the best source for information for what the woman in your life likes would be her… however, I’ve heard enough complaints and have had enough experience in my own past that I feel I can give some fairly decent suggestions. At least a few that might be applicable to some women, anyway.
Probably the foremost thing I could recommend to men is to consider what feels good for you. Men and women are a lot more alike than you might think… in some respects, anyway.
Too often men give the impression that they believe that it should only take mere moments of stimulation to bring a woman to orgasm.
*lick, lick, insert finger, suck, lick* Why isn’t she screaming in ecstasy yet?
While that may be true in certain cases where a woman is already extremely aroused, with some hyper-sensitive women, or for porn flicks… for the most part women are going to take just as long as any man would take in a similar state of arousal.
The next time she gives you a blow job, time it to see how long it takes you to reach orgasm. Then, give her at least the same amount of time if she needs it.
Next bit of advice would be to start off slow and with a gentler touch. You can always increase sensation, but it’s hard to restore arousal to your girl if you’ve attacked her clit with teeth right off the bat.
That is, if you can pry her off the ceiling.
Think about what would feel good to you if your girl was to give you a hand job from a semi-flaccid state. Would you want her to grab you and just start yanking? Or would some soft strokes and gentle rubs be a better way to get your motor going?
Of course, with a masochist sub your warm up might involve a flogger or a single tail. [;)]
Also, just like men, most women reach orgasm through the same kind of process… ever increasing speed and pressure. A steady pace will get her there, but it will take a lot longer.
The final two pieces I feel halfway comfortable in giving are just general information. First, the clitoris is not an equal opportunity organ. There are places on the clitoris that are more sensitive than others… “hot spots”, if you will. I’ve read that generally the most sensitive part of the clit for women is in the “one o’clock” position... that is, if you are facing a woman’s genitalia, the area on the side of the clit that would be at “one o’clock” on a clock face. I don’t know how prevalent the “one o’clock” hot spot is, though… my own is at eleven.
Finally, variety is generally not a friend to women. It may seem a bit boring to you, but if you keep changing up what you are doing (licking to sucking to stroking, etc.), it’s going to take a lot more effort and a lot more time to get her off. Find the sweet spot and stick to it… don’t stop the stimulation. Women do not reach a “point of no return” like men do and when stimulation stops, ground is quickly lost.
Best wishes and happy holidays to all!
Treasure
Repeated often enough, some of this info might actually sink in and help a lucky woman or two. [:D]
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