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My story - Lost NC boy please read - 7/14/2008 12:07:48 AM   
supersexybaby


Posts: 18
Joined: 12/28/2007
Status: offline 		Hello everyone from NC

This is my first post.  I thought long and hard about what I wanted to type.  This might turn out to be a long post, but if you manage to read all of it  my hat's off to ya.

A little introduction - I am somewhat new to the fetish world. I have been on this site since early 2008.  I find the fetish world to be very interesting.  I also love the layout for the site just how everything is set up and being able to find people in your area, the forums, everything. I don't have any experience, but I am learning new things and I enjoy coming to the site.   However, there is a particular interest that I have and seem to see a lot of negative feedback on it.  I wanted to put this post up hopefully to shed a little light on the subject.

I am into different things, but I have one particular interest.  I live a completely normal life, I just have an abnormal fetish, but then again  what fetish is normal?

I am a lot into ageplay/infantilism.  A lot of events in my life have led me to this fetish.

My parents were very young when they got married.  They were 19 when they got married and I was born when they were 21 yrs. old.  My parents split up when I was very young at the young age of four.  To start with it didn't really get to me because I was young and didn't understand what a divorce was, but as I got older it hurt not having both of my parents with me all the time.

When I was 9 yrs. old my grandmother passed away. I love and miss her so much. R.I.P.
My grandmother was such a sweet lady. She loved all of her grandchildren, but she saw something extra special in me and I could feel that.  My aunts and uncles also told me this. I felt a very strong bond with my grandmother and she was taken away from me too soon.  She showed me so much love and no one else really showed me the love that she gave to me.

Step parents was something else I had to deal with. I don't have any step parents anymore but it left an impact on me.  My stepdad at the time and me didn't get along too well.  He did things for me, but most of the time we would argue all the time. He called me wimpy before and said some pretty disrespectful things to me and my family.  What kind of a parent says that to a kid? I was afraid to come out of my room because I had to confront him. I only wanted to come out when it was time to eat and get a shower. He put an emotional scar in me and I don't really know if it will ever go away.  When I got old enough to drive I would go out and stay away for as long as I could until I had to go home. At times I wanted to hit him, but I never did to show some respect for my elders and for my mother.

Relationships - I have never actually been in an actual relationship except for one when I was younger. I have been on dates with different girls but didn't really feel a good click with any of them. Some have done me wrong before but that is the ups and downs with dating or any relationship really.

All of these events have led me to my fetish. I have been hurt a lot in the past.  Why seek for a domme to abuse me when I have already been hurt a lot in the past? 

I seek to be loved, to feel the love again.  One day I did an experiment and I put on a diaper. Not to sound weird, but it felt really good. I think that diapers help reduce a lot of stress, but that is my opinion.

I want to try to explain this really good for those that aren't really familiar with ageplay/infantilism.

There are ab's and dl's.  Adult babies and diaper lovers  (ab/dl's)  I would say that I am a little of both.  I don't have any experience with the fetish but let me explain more.

Adult babies are people that like to act like babies.  Diaper lovers are simply people that like wearing diapers but aren't necessarily into acting like a baby, they just like the feel of a diaper.

I am not a bedwetter. I do this for fun or put one on to help relieve myself of stress.

Obviously i'm not like 100% baby because I am not typing this in baby talk.  I do consider myself an ab/dl but sometimes I do find that annoying typing to someone in baby talk all the time.  Some times it might be okay, but not all the time. I prefer people to write to me in complete sentences and to make sense.

I did some research on infantilism and was just very interested in it.  It just fits for me.  I seek for someone to love me and care for me.  My search to be loved and the feel of the diapers added up altogether forms into mommy/babyroleplay.  I found out I was not alone and many people enjoy this type of play.  Sadly many seem to be into it on here. 

Some ab's even go to extremes with this and have adult baby furniture. ( adult crib, highchair, playpen, stroller, etc.)

I don't have any furniture, but I am interested in some of it.  This is not an everyday thing for me, it makes it hard to do anything with this when others are in the house.  I tend to be very secretive about it. I do have a bottle and a paci, but that's about it.  I don't have any adult baby clothes but I probably wouldn't mind if a mistress wanted to dress me up in a romper or a onesey something like that.

Now, I understand a lot of women aren't really into this for 2 reasons that I can think of.  Messy diapers and bad babies.

I don't mess.  I wouldn't put any woman through that, because I don't really like to clean it myself. Now, wet diapers are another story.  I know some women wouldn't even touch a dirty diaper but they wouldn't mind changing a wet one.

Bad babies- babies that just act mean and want to throw temper tantrums.  I am not a bad baby, I am a good baby.  I have read on posts before that mention  adult babies seem to think it is all about them.  I don't think that is the case with every adult baby.  Everyone has their own story and I just wanted to share mine and just show that not everyone is the same.

Sure, I come on here looking someone interested in this fetish even though I have other interests as well.  The way I see it, I would try doing someone else's fetishes if they would try mine.

Which is really all I ask is that a person try it, even if someone isn't much into it or it isn't their thing. I think if someone really cares about somebody they would try it.

Of course there are different variations to this fetish like any other hopefully to show some mistresses out there that there are different ways of doing this.

I mentioned that some women wouldn't touch a dirty diaper but wouldn't mind changing wet ones. A wet diaper shouldn't really be that much of a problem because the diaper already absorbs all the wetness. Mistresses claim they aren't into it, but I wonder if they ever contemplate that the sub could put his/her own diaper on?  A mistress can "baby" a person and the sub could change their own diapers. The sub could even do what the mistress asks of him and he wear a diaper while doing what she asked. Do they think about that?

I hear so many complaints about dirty diapers, but the mistress doesn't always have to change them.  You could do play and the sub could just wear a diaper.  A lot of people tend to be into bondage and diapers can be a form of bondage.

A mistress looks for a sub to submit correct?  Well, in my opinion  ageplay/infantilism is perhaps the "ultimate" submission. Think about it.  Picture like this 7'0 tall 200 pound guy, just all jacked up.  The guy has so much power and then a Mistress puts the guy in a diaper. A woman should love it for the power, to turn a grown man all powerful into a baby that wets his diapers and is needing his mommy.  The Mistress should like it for the power and feeling needed.  The person in the baby role should love it for feeling loved.

I just feel this fetish is more "innocent" I guess you could say then some others on this site.

Why does it seem there is so much hate on it?

I am not looking for a girl to do this with me 24/7.  People can live their own lives like normal in public and be kinky behind closed doors.  That is really what I look for, but am curious about going public. I don't know exactly how I would take it, but there are some aspects of it that make it interesting.  For some that feel it is something that should just be done in private, then do it in private.

Humiliation and Female Supremacy are real popular.  Well, self explainatory  you got a guy in a diaper   a woman should feel a lot of female supremacy from that.  Humiliation can be added into this fetish.  Diaper dominance - forcing a person to be put in diapers against their will. The public play could be humiliating just being seen in a diaper out in public.

Pedophilia seems to be a reason that Mistresses find it hard to do this.  I don't find this fetish to be linked to pedophilia.  Adult baby play is just like any other kind of roleplay on this site. I don't believe that people interested in playing the parent role find sexual attraction to a baby. Kids are not involved in this at all.  I am young for my age and it makes it hard to find someone for me but I am not a kid. Mistresses set their age limits, so there you go.  That can be avoided, no kids. 

I am not into this for sex.  It can be sexual and can lead to diaper sex for some but I don't look for sex.  It is just roleplay like I said and don't really see any harm in it, this is an innocent fetish.    I hope I have explained that clear enough.

As far as the pain part of it.  I am not into cbt, butt plugs, having dildos shoved up my prosterior or anything like that.  There are some loving dommes and then there are others that just inflict pain just to be mean and enjoy seeing others being in pain.  If I have to be disciplined, spank me  or put me in a corner or time out.  There can be punishment methods that don't have to lead to things such as cbt or chasity devices  even though those can be implemented in play.  I seek things that you would do to a normal baby, not something that you wouldn't do to your baby.

Plain and simple  I have had a lot of depressing events lead me to this fetish with my love of diapers.  I am not looking for sex.  I don't do this 24/7.  I don't feel this is all about me as I would do things that a Mistress would be interested in.  I could do this in public or in private.  I seek love is what I seek, just to be loved.  A baby is totally submissive, isn't that what a Mistress wants?

I say all of this just to bring to your attention that not all of us are the same. 

I am just interested in hearing what some other Mistresses have to say about this fetish.  I have shared my story and please share.

I hope this post was helpful.  I tried to touch up on all the different areas.  I hope that even for those that aren't into this fetish that maybe this might have encouraged you to maybe want to try it or be interested in it.

Some just seek to be held, loved, cared for. Maybe given a bottle     Breast feeding is an interesting topic   So many different ways of showing love.

I am just curious as to what others have to say.   Hopefully I might find my mommy out there, someone that understands this.  Someone that understands my needs that it doesn't have to be about sex and doesn't have to be 24/7.

I hope to make some new friends on this site as well if anything.

For the mistresses out there that this isn't really their thing  would you even consider doing this?  Would you even change a wet diaper? (doesn't have to be a dirty one)

Hopefully this post has done some good.  Everyone has their own opinions even if you aren't into this, I would still like to hear what you have to say after reading this.

Wow! lol   Long post, I thought it would be lol     

I hope to hear from you

thank you all for reading   and I hope that you understand the different things I brought up











Profile   Post #: 1
RE: My story - Lost NC boy please read - 7/14/2008 1:06:54 AM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		Miscellaneous thoughts follow.

Midori, an internationally known domina and educator, made an important point at a seminar she gave about catalytic scenes. She said that while BDSM can be therapeutic, it should not be substituted for therapy. I think professional therapy would help you address effects of unfortunate experiences you have had. There used to be a stigma against therapy, which I think has lessened. More and more therapy is being seen for mental well being as going to the doctor is for physical well being.

You have your interests and that is fine. I don't think you have to justify your interests by pointing to bad experiences. One, I don't think it will help your cause much. Two, an interest in BDSM does not necessarily come from bad experiences. It could instead come from happy experiences that somehow evolve into a fetish.

You seem to be presenting a logical argument for why dommes should enjoy infantilism. The feelings that drive an interest to play are mostly illogical--I don't think one can convince another to like something by presenting a logical argument. I think at most one can convince another to try something with a logical argument. I think establishing a social connection has the best odds to convince someone to try a new fetish.

I think it is a good idea to educate others so as to remove commonly held misconceptions, which your post attempts to do.

As you ask for others to be open to your fetish, I think it would help if you are willing to do the same. You seem to suggest you are, but your discussion about anal play and the like suggest differently. SM or punishment is not about abuse and, in fact, can be a different way to express affection (people engage in what they consider an expression of their sexuality with people they like). However, if your past experiences make SM unpleasant for you, it's fine to have boundaries. There are people who engage in BDSM without much SM.

As you know, there are other adult babies. There was a thread here recently by a man who shares your interest and made his own furniture. If your area of interest is so limited, I expect you will find enthusiasm if you try to reach out to others with this interest for sake of having a support network. It seems you have researched ABs. Did you find any support groups?

While the numbers may be small, there are women also who enjoy this play. I recall encountering this interest in a few profiles across Texas and California in just the last three weeks or so. If local searches do not bring results and you are open to establishing connections elsewhere, perhaps searching with keywords will help.

Good luck to you.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to supersexybaby)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: My story - Lost NC boy please read - 7/14/2008 1:31:13 AM   
PanthersMom


Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
Status: offline 		many folks just get antsy over the supposedly implied aspects of pedophilia and incest.  even though many people who age play do so for emotional reasons, such as returning to a time they felt safe, secure and loved or trying to find those feelings  for the first time, they just can't understand it.  why it's necessary to look down on someone's fetish just because it's different is beyond me.  we all enjoy different things, as long as nobody is harmed, what's wrong with enjoying what we like?
PM

_____________________________

That which does not kill me, better run pretty damn fast

I miss my ex, but my aim is improving!




(in reply to supersexybaby)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: My story - Lost NC boy please read - 7/14/2008 1:34:45 AM   
supersexybaby


Posts: 18
Joined: 12/28/2007
Status: offline 		I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea at all at what I am trying to say.

I am open up to other things, but yes I do have my limits as well.   If infantilism/ageplay isn't your thing then I can understand that.      I am not really trying to convince people or stress them to doing it I guess you could say but have an open mind to it.  Some seem to be so closeminded about this topic that I just wanted to shed some light.  I am not saying that Mistresses have to be into infantilism.  We all have our likes and dislikes.  I just try to get people to look at it differently since many seem to view it negatively. 

I am not against what others have to say.   If you are for it then you are for it, if you aren't then you aren't.

I was just simply listing all these things that pertain to the fetish.

Assplay is one of my limits, don't like it.   I might be open to other things, but some I just don't want to do. Mistresses don't have to do infantilism   I don't have to do ass play. 

I do open up to others fetishes, so please don't get the wrong idea.  Spanking is an interest.   Bondage seems interesting.  I am new to this, I don't know all the fetishes.  I know that I am not into some things the same reasons people have for not liking infantilism. Perhaps  Doctor or patient/ naughty nurse could be of interest?  Maybe teacher and curious student    that seems interesting        

My interest is not from bad experiences alone, as I said  I put on a diaper and I liked it.  How great it felt plus the experiences have helped lead me to it.

I am just simply looking for others opinions    not trying to spark controversy        

as far as groups, haven't really found too many groups    I have stumpled on 2 or 3 sites but haven't found anything yet

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: My story - Lost NC boy please read - 7/14/2008 2:04:15 AM   
supersexybaby


Posts: 18
Joined: 12/28/2007
Status: offline 		exactly, I just figure  go back to a time when I felt loved the most and sometimes I don't really feel much love. Even if it is just a friend, someone to talk too. Just to feel a little comfort, you know?

there are many different fetishes   I don't look at a person differently for what they like

some like pain, if that is your thing  then that is your thing   if you want to be love that is your thing

if you have a fetish for balloons  that's your thing       if you want to dress up like a woman that's your thing, which there are even sissy babies    I am not a sissy, but there are some out there.  Everybody is different and that is a good thing, because if we were all the same then the world would be a boring place.

So many different fetishes, so interesting and so much more to learn

thanks for the posts guys

I love hearing your opinions.   keep them coming, I hope to hear many more

(in reply to supersexybaby)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: My story - Lost NC boy please read - 7/14/2008 2:05:46 AM   
DreamsOfSpider


Posts: 56
Joined: 12/4/2006
Status: offline 		Advice from a submissive just passing through... this is not going to get you what you want. To highlight some problematic points:

"Now, I understand a lot of women aren't really into this for 2 reasons that I can think of."

This is where you begin to go wrong. A person doesn't have to have a reason to not be into any given fetish. Fetishes are the exception, not the rule... and if a woman doesn't find a grown man in diapers to be a turn-on, you're not going to get anywhere by trying to minimize the turn-offs.

"The way I see it, I would try doing someone else's fetishes if they would try mine."

Given that there are many more submissive straight men than dominant straight women, they don't have to play tit-for-tat, "I'll try your fetish if you'll try mine." They get to pick and choose from the men whose interests are compatible with their own.

"Mistresses claim they aren't into it, but I wonder if they ever contemplate that the sub could put his/her own diaper on?"

I guarantee that these women who "claim" they aren't into it really aren't into it. And if you ever are lucky enough to find one who is, I'm sure it will already have occurred to her that you can be ordered to do anything that she wants done.

"Diaper dominance - forcing a person to be put in diapers against their will."

Riiight. Cause you really don't want to be put in a diaper.

Obviously the simultaneous wanting/not wanting of something is part of some kinks. That's fine. But I'm pretty sure that if a dominant doesn't particularly care to put a man in diapers, then the fact that you're pretending to *not* want her to do it isn't going to make much difference.

"There are some loving dommes and then there are others that just inflict pain just to be mean and enjoy seeing others being in pain."

"Loving" and "inflicting pain because they enjoy it" aren't opposites. They're on two different axes. You do realize that there are people who enjoy pain, right?

"A baby is totally submissive, isn't that what a Mistress wants?"

No. Real babies may be helpless, but that's not the same thing as submissive. Babies are completely self-centered, and very demanding. They want whatever they want NOW, they won't tolerate anything they dislike, and they are interested in their mother only as the provider of their desires. Fortunately, real babies grow out of it...

Sigh. Look, there's nothing wrong with wanting what you want. Or not tolerating things you dislike. Or not really being able to understand what dominant women want, or not focusing on it instead of what you want. It's all perfectly natural. But that doesn't mean you're going to be able to attract someone this way.






< Message edited by DreamsOfSpider -- 7/14/2008 2:10:37 AM >

(in reply to supersexybaby)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: My story - Lost NC boy please read - 7/14/2008 2:40:24 AM   
supersexybaby


Posts: 18
Joined: 12/28/2007
Status: offline 		thank you my friend for your post  

my post was a very long one, so everything I say in it  someone is probably going to argue with it   not everyone will agree and I understand this

I do understand that a Mistress doensn't have to go along with what a submissive wants, it isn't all about the submissive. 

I know a Mistress can make a sub do anything.  I was stating that the sub could put his own diaper on since so many seem to complain about dirty diapers.  No diaper changing even really has to be involved.

I listed diaper dominance because it is related to diapers.  I didn't say it was forced against my will   did I?  Some don't want to do it 24/7.  Maybe some ab/dl's want to be a aby for like half a day and the other half be adult.  You know like public play I mentioned? Not everyone is into public play.   A Mistress could come to your workplace and order you to be put in a diaper and you don't want others to find out at your work or home or in public or wherever.  Just because one likes the feeling of a diaper doesn't mean all want it 24/7

and yes  I mentioned above that others enjoy pain but I think you sent in your post about the same time I sent mine.  I am not angry my friend, just trying to tell you what I mean

this isn't going to be 100% correct       humans make mistakes all the time   this is why I wrote this to hear others opinions.   if it doesn't draw others in, then it doesn't   I might just have to re read it a few more times to edit it, for any mistakes I may have put up.  Afterall it is long and I did just type it.  I make mistakes on my papers for college sometimes

I simply look for what others think of the fetish or if they would try it






(in reply to DreamsOfSpider)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: My story - Lost NC boy please read - 7/14/2008 9:42:27 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Against My better judgment, I'm going to play devil's advocate.

I'm not in any way saying that you are not entitled to your particular fetishes.  However, this post, along with many from ab's that I have seen on this site, seems more like an attempt at coercion.   Over and over, it seems more an attempt to covert someone who isn't currently interested in your particular fetish, rather than to find someone who genuinely is.  Very much the same as the "forced femme" debate.  If I have no interest in dressing a male in female clothing, but he wants to wear them, there's no Dominance in that.  If he wears what he already wants to wear, he is getting that fulfilled for him, and I'm getting exactly, what?  Time share?  We block off a certain amount of time where I am giving him something I am clearly not interested in, so I can wait until My turn comes around?

I'm not saying that two (or more) people have to match up their kinks 100%.  It's great when that kind of thing happens, but it's not as common as many people would hope.  I'd say that maybe 80% would be a good place to start as far as compatibility.  That, to Me, means that when both people put their lists of things they need and want to enjoy side by side, 80% of the activities should match up.  What you seem to be offering doesn't involve that.  It sounds more like a trade off.

In My personal list of activities, there isn't any particular 20% that I couldn't pass on if the other 80% matched with someone and  had the potential with for a working dynamic.  I have fetishes, but they aren't the sole drive behind My interest in BDSM.  While I consider Myself an open-minded person, I do know there are some things that I'm just not interested in, so the "try it you might like it" type of persuasion isn't enough for Me. 




_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to supersexybaby)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: My story - Lost NC boy please read - 7/14/2008 10:58:58 AM   
supersexybaby


Posts: 18
Joined: 12/28/2007
Status: offline 		thank you for your reply lady pact

Like I said before everyone has their likes and dislikes. I state over and over again that people don't have to be into this. I am not trying to convert people into anything.  Some Mistresses don't know anything on the subject so I am doing my best to talk about all the aspects of play.  People link infantilism to pedophilia so I tried to show that it is not linked to that.   Mistresses that don't seem to like it, I see the reasons they post on other forums and try to explain how these reasons they list can be avoided just like bad reasons for any other fetish.

Don't Mistresses and subs take time to talk about a session before it actually starts Lady Pact?  am I mistaken?  I don't feel you are giving a person an interest to start off with if you discuss it before hand.  Talk about safe words and rules and that sort of thing. I haven't done a session before, so I don't exactly know what is required.  Just depends on the mistress I suppose.  No, you don't have to wait Lady Pact for your turn.  If you don't like diapers that is fine.  Mistresses might not have interest in the diapers but they can order subs to do stuff and they wear diapers. A Mistress can order a sub to do things that they like and doesn't necessarily have to focus on the age play or just not do it at all.  Which is fine, because all I ask is for your opinions on the topic of infantilism

I don't understand what it is that I am offering.  Ageplay/infantilism is a big fetish of mine yes.  does a person have to do it?  no   I said I am open to other things like everyone else do I have to be open to theirs?  no I don't    I agree with you LadyPact that people don't have to match up 100%   80% sounds pretty reasonable.  I haven't listed many other things that I like and I am still discovering things.  I might discover new things that I like.  People may discover infantilism with this very post.

I don't think I mentioned anything where peoples interests shouldn't match 80% or whatever percentage that you find reasonable. People don't know what i'm offering because I haven't listed every single interest and I might find more.   Some are misintrepreting what I am saying. 

I did state that I would try someone else's fetishes if they would do mine.  - I shouldn't have said that but I don't know how to edit the post.   People don't have to like or do my fetish.  I don't have to do theirs.  We could be compatible in other things, but my focus on here is infantilism.  There is so much bad talk about it and I am trying to show that it is not as bad as some seem to think it is. I am not converting anyone to do anything.

I'm sorry that the "try it" deal doesn't work for you. 

I am not trying to show disrespect.  am I making sense?   That is one thing about the internet  one can say something and it could be intended to mean something else.  Which is why I prefer talking to someone in person then messenger im's or bulletin boards or anything.  Please understand I am not taking anyone for their likes or dislikes, it is your choice  not mine to make.  I am not converting just giving people a different look on the subject, doesn't mean they have to like it.   make sense? 



I just wanted peoples opinions on the subject of infantilism.  I wanted people to look at my story.  I'm not trying to sound stengy or like the bad guy.  I simply stick up for infantilism just like you have that right to stick up for your fetish.  I have many other interests but this post was made to talk about infantilism.

I may have made mistakes with my post.  Forgive me for not making a perfect post.  I don't know how to edit

hopefully I have made things a little more clearer   I could use a little guidance myself.  Ageplay I find interesting but know that it is not my only interest and one interested in me doesn't necessarily have to do it. There are dommes that seem to have motherly features and don't do the diapers, maybe that would be something of interest.  Just a motherly figure perhaps

could you tell me what you do LadyPact before you start a session with someone?  Do you tend to discuss things?  please explain more to me if you could

thank you Lady Pact




(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: My story - Lost NC boy please read - 7/14/2008 6:33:24 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I can only answer your questions to the best of My ability.  That means they come from My perspective and I am not saying these are the opinions of anyone else.

While you may be right that some Dommes don't know anything about infantilism, I think that statement would be more the exception, rather than the rule.  After reading other threads on the subject about the particular fetish, I'd have to say that most of them do know what they are talking about when giving their opinions on it.

quote:

Original:supersexybaby
Don't Mistresses and subs take time to talk about a session before it actually starts Lady Pact?

Yes, but usually, it starts with some common ground.  For example, I'm a sadist.  In the simplest terms, I enjoy giving pain.  That's why masochists seek Me out.  They know they enjoy receiving the pain that I like to inflict.  Now, think of all of the activities that two people can do together.  Floggers, canes, crops, whips, paddles, spanking, fire, cupping, needles, wax.... the list goes on and on.  If the bottom doesn't care for one of those things, such as whips, that's perfectly ok.  I still have a long list to chose from that both of us will still enjoy.

On the other hand, if a person has no interest in receiving pain, either for enjoyment or in some other context, we might not have as much fun together.  Like you, I do have other interests (I won't list them here, they are on My profile) but I know the things that I enjoy the most.  I wouldn't be willing to detract from My enjoyment because it was countered with something like playing with someone who wanted to wear a diaper during a scene.  (Not to mention, it lessens the impact.)
quote:

Original:supersexybaby
I don't understand what it is that I am offering.  Ageplay/infantilism is a big fetish of mine yes.  does a person have to do it?  no   I said I am open to other things like everyone else do I have to be open to theirs?  no I don't

You're absolutely right about this.  It is also why not many folks are going to respond favorably.  If they aren't into what you are obviously so much into.  Just like I can't tell you that you *have* to explore pain if you have no interest in it.
quote:

Original:supersexybaby
but my focus on here is infantilism.  There is so much bad talk about it and I am trying to show that it is not as bad as some seem to think it is

It's not that people think it's "bad".  It's just like everything else.  Not everybody is going to like everything out there. 
quote:

Original:supersexybaby
I just wanted peoples opinions on the subject of infantilism.  <snip> I simply stick up for infantilism just like you have that right to stick up for your fetish.

I don't want this to sound like an elitist attitude, so forgive Me in advance for phrasing this the wrong way.  As a sadist, I feel quite at home on a BDSM site.  I don't have much question as to whether there are numerous people here who do share My interests.
quote:

Original:supersexybaby
could you tell me what you do LadyPact before you start a session with someone?  Do you tend to discuss things?  please explain more to me if you could

In most cases, even with casual play, it is usually with someone that I already know, or I've at least talked with before.  This is a good way to know if we have good potential for Top/bottom scene energy.

Even with that in mind, I'm still a 'safety first' person.  I talk with the bottom about any information that I might need to know for during a scene.  These things are primarily about the state of a person's health.  This is especially true of the couple of folks that I have played with who are diabetic.  If they haven't been eating, a scene isn't going to go very well.

Then, I go into a little practice that I call "tiptoe through the toybag".  What I mean by that is I have a lot of various things that I like to play with.  I gave the short list above.  Not everybody is going to be ready for the violet wand or the paddle that I own that is two feet long and two inches thick.  Some people have canes as a hard limit.  I give the bottom (notice I said bottom, not submissive) the opportunity to tell Me the things that they aren't willing to have used on them.

Right around then, I will ask about other sensations during a scene.  How do they feel about being touched?  I'm big on using My fingernails.  Do they have an objection?  What is their safeword?  Do they use "slow" or "cool" signals as well?

Last but not least, aftercare.  Do they have a special thing that they like while they are still in space?  Certain blanket that they like to be wrapped up in?  Would they be opposed to a bit of cuddling time?  What kind of treat might I give them?  (For those who are diabetic that I mentioned above, I do carry sugar free candy.)

I hope I've provided you an example of the way I do things.




_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to supersexybaby)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: My story - Lost NC boy please read - 7/14/2008 7:14:23 PM   
LaMistressa


Posts: 460
Joined: 12/4/2006
Status: offline 		"Now, I understand a lot of women aren't really into this for 2 reasons that I can think of.  Messy diapers and bad babies."

Here's a third one you haven't thought of - bad memories. Having lost a parent to cancer and seeing him incontinent for the last 18 months of his life, diapers remind me of death. Not cute little babies, but death, which is not the most cheerful headspace for me. While I do some limited age play with my maid, any ab/dl play is done with my permission but without me physically there.

There's a world of reasons why people have the hard limits that they do. Respect that.

(in reply to supersexybaby)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: My story - Lost NC boy please read - 7/14/2008 11:48:06 PM   
supersexybaby


Posts: 18
Joined: 12/28/2007
Status: offline 		To Lady Pact and La Mistressa

Lady Pact thank you for your advice, we all just need a little guidance.  I am willing to listen. 

I am not that much into pain because I seek love but doesn't mean I also won't do some things or consider things.  I do like to be spanked, I believe I said it somewhere up there above but don't acuse me if I didn't. I have an interest in spanking. I would let one use a paddle.  They could probably use the cane on me.  Wax I might would consider as long as it isn't dropped on my privates. Whip possibly.  I am sort of embarrassed, I don't exactly know what a flogger or a crop is.  I don't know all of the terms.   Just because I say I am not into pain that much doesn't mean I won't do it.  Again, don't anyone acuse me of things if I don't mention it above because I don't know how to edit my entry. I am not going to acuse anyone.  

La Mistressa - I am sorry to hear about that story.  I never really thought of it that way. But please don't take that line to heart "the whole 2 reasons thing that women might not be into it"  It was all I could think of at the time, but there could be other reasons people aren't into it.  I am not going to knock anyone off though.  I want to hear people's opinions.   People seem to get on  me about the 2 reasons thing.  This is my first post on the forums, people take everything I say literally. You have opened up my eyes with what you said about you think diapers remind you of death.  I am sorry to hear that.   I tried to open peoples eyes up to look at it in a new way, not meaning that they have to agree with what I say.   I hope I am making sense with this. With positives there can be negatives, from the negatives I was seeing  I was simply trying to show the positive side of it   doesn't mean you have to agree with me because I will respect your opinions.

I will respect your hard limits.  If it doesn't seem that way from my original post, I don't know how to edit it.  I'm sorry    The post is very long and more then likely there is mistakes or typos.  I say over and over again if people actually read what I put here too besides just my original entry  that I respect what other people say.  I will respect your hard limits, I just simply try to see who is into it, who isn't  and why.  If people have changed their opinions on the topic whether it be good or bad then I want to hear those opinions too.

If people seem to think I don't respect your hard limits with what I posted then everyone that thinks that is sadly mistaken.  I will respect your limits, I have mine as well. 

I'm not trying to seem selfish or give a wrong impression which is why I am stating it here. I just want to hear peoples opinions.  I'm not persuading anyone to do this, just trying to give you something new to look at and understand. 

Thank you both for your posts   LaMistressa and LadyPact

I'm not trying to look like the bad guy, just trying to shed a little light.  Nobody has to agree with me but I would like to hear peoples opinions.

thank you my friends


(in reply to LaMistressa)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: My story - Lost NC boy please read - 7/15/2008 10:53:13 AM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
Status: offline 		Supersexybaby,

While I realize this wasn't your intent, I must congratulate you on posting the most in-depth personals ad that has ever missed scrutiny of the moderators.  Indeed, if a woman was looking for someone interested in AB/DL play, she might contact you after reading this thread. :-)

Undergroundsea, PanthersMom, DreamsOfSpider, Lady Pact, and La Mistressa all beat me to the punch and have posted pretty much everything that came to mind after I read your OP.  For myself specifically, I'm just not interested in this type of play.  It has no particular squick factor for me, but neither does it have any appeal.  At times during play, especially afterward during cuddling, I've taken my partner's breast in my mouth, nuzzled, latched on, suckled, and, in terms of headspace, regressed to the state of a singly-focused, mewing child finding comfort and nourishment in my partner.  When talking about this later, it happened organically and we both enjoyed it so I've never given this much thought.  Sometimes things partners share don't need to be overly analyzed and can be somewhat ruined if they are.

You are new to the forums and are exploring BDSM and your fetishes.  Welcome to Collar Me and thank you for taking the time to post with substance and quality.  In a few cases, you've taken a bit of heat because of your wording.  Here.  I'll give you an example from your last post, as follows:

"I am not that much into pain because I seek love..."

After reading all your posts, I'm fairly certain you're not saying that masochists don't want to be loved, but that's what comes across, especially if someone were to read just this post.  Thus, a better approach is to say "I seek to be loved and in terms of my interests, I'm not that much into pain".  See the difference?  The way I've re-worded your statement, it addresses you without appearing critical or labeling others.  Again, I realize you weren't actually labeling anyone, but your choice of words has a powerful effect on how people interpret your message.

One of the interesting and fun aspects of BDSM is that often things you never thought you'd enjoy take on a whole new meaning and become activities you actually do enjoy (or at least will suffer through for the enjoyment of your partner).  For example, you wrote:  "Wax I might would consider as long as it isn't dropped on my privates.  Whip possibly."  With the right partner, you'd be amazed at what you'll do for them and allow them to do to you.  So, just as you encouraged regarding AB/DL play, I encourage you to keep an open mind when discussing and exploring activities with your partner.  I've found that a patient, loving, communicative Domina who takes a baby steps approach with activities I'm uncertain of and/or frightened of has often opened the door to things I now enjoy.  In your case, the "baby steps" approach may work very well indeed. :-)

Elan.

(in reply to supersexybaby)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: My story - Lost NC boy please read - 7/15/2008 11:13:54 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Even though I have no interest in males, I know there are female submissives/slaves that have an interest similar to yours. While they may be wonderful human beings and delightful sub/slaves, I doubt I would persue a relationship with one.

The reason being, it really really does not appeal to me. I am not fetish driven. I am service and submission driven. Which means a woman submitting to me, wanting to do anything to please me, turns me on. Anything else is either icing on the cake or an annoyance, depending on whether or not I enjoy it. If a slave/sub is strongly fetish oriented then I know immediately they are not for me. We would just be too far apart in our goals, in what satisfies us.

That being said, you could write pages and pages of very well thought out dialogue about your fetish and why it interests you. While I would empathise and have a concept of why it is important to you, it will still not be something that interests me. I am a mother and a grandmother. There is nothing at all, sexy, about a diaper.......to ME. Just understand that I will still acknowledge your feelings and defend your right to feel them. Your just not going to convince me to participate.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to supersexybaby)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: My story - Lost NC boy please read - 7/15/2008 12:14:49 PM   
LadyAngelique01


Posts: 18
Joined: 9/13/2007
From: Wisconsin
Status: offline 		supersexybaby, while I'm not into age play or diapers, I thought you presented it in a good light. Your post did give me some things to think about if I ever find a sub with your interests. Age play may not be a popular fetish, I'm sure given time and patience you'll find a Domme that has similar interests. After all, if there was no interest in your fetish, there wouldn't be products sold to go along with it. Best of luck in your search.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: My story - Lost NC boy please read - 7/15/2008 10:47:39 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline 		Basically my opinion of AB's is about the same as my opinion of people who enjoy keeping and breeding Great Danes as pets.  I think it's fine and dandy that they are enjoying what they are doing.  I may even be mildly interested, in a vague and polite way, to hear about their hobby and their passion.  I'd be their friend if they were fun to hang out with, and they might even get me to babysit their dogs for a short time as a favor if we became very good friends.  But I don't really have much personal interest in their hobby. It's their thing, and I respect it, but I'm not making it a part of my life because it doesn't do much for me personally.  That doesn't mean I have any problem with other people who are seriously into dog shows and keeping dogs, as long as they don't let their dogs dig up my lawn and crap all over it.  If they can do their thing in a way that doesn't impact other people negatively, I say good for them, and wish them well in their passion even though I don't happen to share it.

(in reply to supersexybaby)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: My story - Lost NC boy please read - 7/16/2008 10:40:50 PM   
SurrenderForMe


Posts: 229
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		You'd get more sympathy if you weren't trashing other peoples interests.
Your statements make it clear that you don't understand all the dynamics of sadism and the ones you do understand you state in such a way as to undermine your point.
Domination, does not mean or require, humiliation and pain.  It can be an interest of a dominant, but is not part of the description of a dominant.
A baby is not totally submissive, it is totally dependent.  Some people are not interested in what can feel like being a service domme, free pro domme, blow up domme, or bottoming from the top.   Others enjoy babying and nurturing.  You just need to interact with people who express the same idea and ideals.
Pedophilia can be an issue in that it brings up memories or traumas to the domme.  That is a valid reason that some dommes don't enjoy it.  Plain old, it's not my thing is a valid reason too.   Alot of interests are not universally popular.  All you do is keep looking for similar mindsets and interests.  Keeping an open mind doesn't hurt either.

My perception of you, that I get from this post, is that you are into this partly to compensate for childhood events.  Nothing wrong with that.  Catharsis is a common enough motivation for a lot of the kinks out there.  You blew my sympathy vote with all the denigrating commentary.  You would be better off, just describing your kink, what you enjoy about it and inviting like minded people to comment on what they like about it.  It would draw commentary from the group you would like to hear from.  If positively phrased it could also catch the interest of people who enjoy reading a positive post.  Giving you another potential method of generating interest.

You might want to explore what people actually say happens in their relationships.  24/7 for example is generally, not always, but generally a master/slave component. 

I am a sadistic dominant.  I hurt people, I don't harm them.  I nurture and I am nurtured in return by the people whose mindset and interests match mine. 

Good luck

< Message edited by SurrenderForMe -- 7/16/2008 10:42:36 PM >

(in reply to supersexybaby)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: My story - Lost NC boy please read - 7/17/2008 2:31:16 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Hi from a NCnian out in the desert...

First, long drawn out posts aren't really going to help you get your point across. I stopped reading about a third of the way down. Put them in your profile or journal (my profile is LONG).

But, what I did read gave me the impression that you are pursuing your fetish as a substitute for therapy. This is will most likely doom whatever relationship you create because that sets your Mommy up as your therapist. In other words, you seem to be doing this with a negative intent that will eventually harm you and potentially someone you care about. GET THERAPY for your feelings about lacking love. HAVE FUN wearing diapers. Fetishes should play a role much in the way other coping mechanisms do; a glass of wine for relaxation on occassion is a good thing, a glass of wine because you need it to deal with your crappy day, isn't.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to supersexybaby)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: My story - Lost NC boy please read - 7/17/2008 2:47:01 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		I have met a guy in meatlife who was probably pretty similar to you in that he was a bit adult baby and a diaper lover. Once he got to know us all he felt comfortable coming to play parties in his diaper and we were all fine with that. He was a really nice guy to chat to, and everyone liked him though I have to say his teddy bear got as much attention as he did though (there's a lot of teddy-lovers out there!). However, he was finding it difficult to find a "Mommy". Certainly some Dommes were happy to play with him for a while at a party, change his wet diaper, etc ... but basically, it was self-limiting. There wasn't a whole lot else You could do. Once you've done the diaper thing ... what then? It didn't go anywhere as a scene. So unless someone is particularly wired that way, to want to be a Mommy ... which essentially means being a service Top ... they're not going to get much out of it themselves. Being a baby ISN'T being submissive in My book. It's about being dependent on someone ... and that's not how I view submission. My submissive must be useful to Me, must make My life easier by his presence in it. This means he does some household chores for Me, he is obedient and attentive, he is emotionally there for Me, he enjoys a variety of bdsm play when I want to play, he enjoys pampering Me intimately. In return I love him, I care for him, I protect him, I make decisions or help him make good decisions, and I am there for him when he needs Me emotionally or physically. It's a 2-way thing. I'm not going to get off on some power trip seeing a great big guy dressed like a baby wanting Me to do things for him. And since I don't like the whole humiliation thing, that has no appeal for Me at all. I'm afraid your ideas on what a Woman "should" get out of it are way off base with Me ... and from previous threads and comments already on this thread, I know there are many other Dommes who feel likewise. For Me, it's very much like most other "fetishes" eg crossdressing ... it really is "all about me". you suggest you could do stuff for the Dominant while dressed in your diaper. Well maybe so ... but then that's YOUR wishes, not Hers in operation. Maybe She doesn't want to see a guy in a diaper doing Her dusting and vacuuming! I have the same issue with boys who are always asking if they can do the housework nude ... or what will they wear as My sub? My answer? No to the nudity and you will wear the clothes I want you to wear! Which means in this climate, it is likely to be shorts and a tee shirt most of the time! Those sorts of comments are simply red flags to Me that they really want to be the ones in control ... and that's so not what I am seeking! I have sometimes wondered if fetishists such as CDs and ABs wouldn't be better off going at it from them being the Top (though I stress NOT a Dominant nor Master unless they are willing AND able to take on the control aspects and responsibilities) ... then they should seek a bottom service oriented girl who would be delighted to play Mommy and look after them and pander to their needs. Just a thought!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to SurrenderForMe)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: My story - Lost NC boy please read - 7/17/2008 6:06:19 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		The media - like a particular episode of CSI - makes this fetish seem rather 'eeew'.   But then, have you ever seen a 'vanilla' show get any fetish 'right'?

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to MaamJay)
Profile   Post #: 20
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