master cheating on slave?

master cheating on slave? (Full Version)

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dontknowwhattodo -> master cheating on slave? (7/14/2008 11:16:46 AM)
i met a man online a couple months ago on this site and weve been talking ever since (on the phone, online) with plans to meet pretty soon. he slowly started taking control of parts of my life, which was fun and relationship was growing. i didnt really get my hopes or anything like that and kept my guard up because i wanted to wait till i actually met him. we engaged in very long conversations every day and he would tell me how hot i was, how much he liked me and was falling for me, how much he wanted to sleep with me/bdsm related things, and he couldnt wait to do it, you know how that normally goes. anyway, a couple days ago this really pretty girls profile came up on the site and out of sheer curiousity i clicked on it. it said 'owned and collared by ...." his name.... with pictures of them and stuff....... she is a slave and i don't know what to do... i am posting this here because i want to do whats best, but i'm totally out of my comfort zone here. i dont care about me or the little romance we had going, i just dont know whether i should contact this girl and let her know whats been going on. so these are my questions. will it matter because shes a slave and i think he is the kind of master that says he is able to do whatever he wants? do you think she knows? because i doubt she does. he would have really weird hours when talking to me/never talked on weekends... and yeah i was an idiot that never assumed anything.... so what should i do? i hate getting involved in things like this. im also pretty sure he probably checks her mail and stuff. i feel like ill be screwing her over if i dont say anything, but at the same time, if it was meaningless to him and stupid (which he never made it seem) then i dont want to cause them to break up for an online fling. i am just very confused and conflicted. can anyone help?

abcbsex -> RE: master cheating on slave? (7/14/2008 11:20:14 AM)
If you don't feel comfortable with another slave in his life, I'd say it would be pretty easy to tell him so and stop your online communication. If you're okay with it and he says she's okay with it, ask if you can speak to her on the phone just for your own peace of mind. if he doesn't let you talk to her (im doesn't count, unfortunately), I'd back away slowly and get myself out of the potentially harmful situation.

dontknowwhattodo -> RE: master cheating on slave? (7/14/2008 11:22:18 AM)
i dont want to talk to him because i feel like he is cheating on her , and i dont want to be involved in that. ive already cut off ties with him. what im more converned about is that the fact that this girl be cheated on over and over by him and have no idea

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: master cheating on slave? (7/14/2008 11:36:50 AM)
i doubt she knows however i wouldn't continue chatting with a dominant who doesn't disclose that he's in another relationship. i don't care if she approves or is okay with it, cheating is cheating to me.

softness -> RE: master cheating on slave? (7/14/2008 11:41:24 AM)
Difficult one. Don't assume that they haven't arranged for the relationship to work like that. She may want nothing to do with other slaves in his life, but be perfectly willing to support him in having them. That is not an uncommon practice. I personally don't believe in ratting on a rat, because you just end up getting bitten. That said, as the slave involved I would rather hear news like that and it not be news .. than be led a merry dance by some fucktard. In your situation I would just walk away, it sounds like those two are pretty real time, and that you and he are not. He will not find it easy to hide an online slave from her if you are in such constant contact with her. If you really feel the need to out him.... What I would do, is contact him, and give him the opportunity to tell her .. making it perfectly clear that you are willing to tell her yourself, but that it might be best coming from him. If he says .. well she knows all about it, ask for proof, if you get it ... say goodbye ... if you dont ... then contact her. Just remember ... "the other woman" ... never comes out of these things well ... harden your heart to that.

Mercnbeth -> RE: master cheating on slave? (7/14/2008 11:47:38 AM)
quote: will it matter because shes a slave and i think he is the kind of master that says he is able to do whatever he wants? regardless of what you think, or the labels they have affixed to themselves, you really don't know what sort of relationship they have. just because someone calls them self slave, does not necessarily mean they would be calling them self that anymore if they discovered their partner was engaging in an online fling. quote: do you think she knows? never met her, so this slave couldn't even hazard a guess. quote: so what should i do? learn from your mistake. this slave would advise you to not get emotionally involved with folks online, which includes not allowing other folks to get emotionally attached to you. enter into relationships with folks AFTER you have met them, unless you really don't care who or what they are or the circumstances (married, etc.) of their real-world lives.

OTKkindaGirl -> RE: master cheating on slave? (7/14/2008 11:48:44 AM)
i'm not poly but i have been with somebody that is. he called me his "alpha" and made it clear that i existed to others. i am not bi but i also knew at that time that i could not meet all of his needs. he had different types of slaves for different types of things and i accepted this as it was discussed beforehand. i prefer to be monogomous and devoted. when i am with somebody that claims to be as well, then i would expect as much. i would personally want to know if he was changing the rules and i would prefer to hear it from him rather than somebody that he is flirting or toying with, it is much more acceptable for me in that way. however, how would i ever know if he was breaking my trust unless i was given reason to suspect? i might be devestated in finding out but please, nobody likes being played the fool, not even a slave. personally i would respectfully confront him about it first.... avoidance wont push him to be honest with his slave or you. you can bring it to his attention that you know and he will worry all on his own about whether or not you tell her. if he isn't on the up and up with her, he soon will be. and i agree with abcb.... if he says it's cool, then ask to speak to her yourself and decide for yourself how you feel about the situation. there are so many possibilities and a question of how open are you willing to be.

KatyLied -> RE: master cheating on slave? (7/14/2008 11:58:07 AM)
Since you don't know the nature of their relationship you should not insert yourself into it. As far as your discussions with him, continue or end them as you see fit. He may do the same thing with every girl he talks to, in an effort to reel them in.

loobylou -> RE: master cheating on slave? (7/14/2008 12:14:51 PM)
i feel this is where many Masters or Dominants fail to earn their title. If he is a Master or Dominant, he would let his slave or submissive know that he is talking to another so there is nothing hidden. This is where lack of trust and dishonesty comes in. If he tells you that he is talking to another or that she will be introduced to another, then it is much easier for the slave or submissive to accept. If he is upfront and honest he will go far. Maybe you should talk to your Master first and tell him what you have seen if you are comfortable with that, if not it is probably a good time to get out now, instead of heart ache later down the road.

Puppy4goodHome -> RE: master cheating on slave? (7/14/2008 12:20:54 PM)
i would not continue chating with him if he is one who does not tell another in his life about u or u about another if that makes sense will he then cheat on you in a way you have to ask that also but if you don't want to talk to him then you have answered your own ? just don't talk with him you can explain why it is nice to understand why someone has stopped talking with you but you don't have to

bruisedpetals -> RE: master cheating on slave? (7/14/2008 12:21:47 PM)
Fast Reply to the OP The way I look at it is, if he was poly and his slave was cool about it to the extent that he could do what he wanted, as long as she didn't get her nose rubbed in it, he'd have told you about his other owned and collared slave - thereby giving you the choice of whether or not to get involved with a poly man. To not mention his owned and collared slave during his 'courtship' of you smacks of deception. The trouble with telling the other slave is that it runs several risks. Sadly, the you will be the 'man-stealing' bad guy and not the Dom who is possibly chancing his arm at double-dipping. If you feel you can take the heat of the other slave's indignity, tell her - but be prepared to be the one who gets blamed. I admire your feeling for the other slave, and you should be proud of that.

pixidustpet -> RE: master cheating on slave? (7/14/2008 12:26:13 PM)
i've been in that place. Daddy let me put our picture up on my profile, he's proud of my being his, but he never mentioned me on his profile at all. i am aware that he has other girls he speaks to and dominates online...and that he's still looking for someone local to him since i no longer am. it wasnt something that made me overly happy, but that was how our relationship is/was. he wont release me, says i am still his. however, i'm now 4 states away from him and not likely to see him in person again. i dont know what to tell you, hon, other than she may know about him and how he is, and even if she doesnt, you have closed the door on your relationship with him and so its no longer your concern, no matter how well intentioned you may be. kitten

willowspirit -> RE: master cheating on slave? (7/14/2008 12:51:14 PM)
It may be "average". It may be "typical". My experience says it's not exactly "normal", and it certainly isn't very healthy to lots of us. quote: ORIGINAL: dontknowwhattodo .... relationship was growing. i didnt really get my hopes or anything like that and kept my guard up because i wanted to wait till i actually met him. we engaged in very long conversations every day and he would tell me how hot i was, how much he liked me and was falling for me, how much he wanted to sleep with me/bdsm related things, and he couldnt wait to do it, you know how that normally goes..... As for your main question. You two never actually met, or touched or played, so he really didn't "cheat". Yes, I hope she knows about it, but it's not like you can ask him if he's told her, or expect an honest answer from him about what the perameters of their relationship were. And there's the problem. Maybe no one was physically "cheating", but now Trust and Honesty are in serious doubt. Does she know? It's anyone's guess. Should she know? Oh my gosh, yes! Be prepared. Ignorance is bliss. She may hate you for bursting her bubble, but what if he goes further with his next online play-date, and they meet, and he maybe brings back a little microscopic "gift" he shares with his "slave". Something incurable... (besides, as evidenced by the way he approached you, he doesn't seem like the Protective type) Maybe give her a brief outline, dates, time of day, EXAMPLE. : "Every day, between 7 PM to 11 PM from may 17 to July 5th.." ... whatever... add some quotes of his by copy and paste? Begin by saying that you sincerely hope nothing you are sending to her is catching her by surprize. Apologizing won't help much, but be sincere about it anyway. On the chance that you may be giving her information that may protect her in the very near future, do something ! I know what I said is controversial. I'm very sorry, but I tried putting myself in the place of the guy's "public/ committed & dedicated " slave. If I was her, and if I didn't know, I would like to remain happily in my *fantasy world, BUT imho this guy just doesn't feel worthy of the trust she's surrendering to him. Something worries me about him. My tiny embriotic "gut feelings*" are starting to figure this stuff out and she might need the info to make a decision about him. If she knew, then why wasn't he upfront about telling you about her -- before it got past the polite introduction stage of emails?

Lockit -> RE: master cheating on slave? (7/14/2008 12:52:41 PM)
If he didn't call on weekends, it sounds like she doesn't know and he doesn't want her to know. If he was open and all was known there would be no reason for restrictions in this area. I think this is up to you. You have been wronged and you have a right to right things so that you feel better. Why is it the one lied to has to take the brunt of it all? Move on, be a higher person... yeah, yeah... I am not a vindictive person, but I do believe in fair play and he entered the game, got caught and deserves whatever he gets. It might teach him a lesson or to be more careful in his cheating. If you don't tell, will it in a sense haunt you? I would want to know if my man was cheating and I don't think dominant or submissive position should matter. It is clear he lied to you by at least ommision, so it wouldn't be a stretch to think he might be lying to her as well. It isn't a matter of rights of a dominant when lying is a part of the issue. I am sure lying isn't an agreement in most relationships, even if playing on the side or more is accepted. And I would consider a lie to you alone a trust factor in her relationship as his reputation and her own is tied up in the public relationship of her claiming to be collared to him. What he does, has an affect upon her and how people might view them and their relationship. He is doing a dis-service to everyone involved. But in the telling of anything... I would advise being honest, being on your real profile and being totally upfront. It would be too easy for him to claim you were some psycho if done otherwise. One dishonesty doesn't validate another. Bottom line... do what you want and can live with and consider the responses of all parties and what they could do. If it isn't worth the battle that could ensue... walk away.

willowspirit -> RE: master cheating on slave? (7/14/2008 1:08:34 PM)
For all you know, he could be commanding her to shut off her profile right now. The idea of posting this experience in your REAL profile here is a valid point. But I don't know how many of us submissive and slaves spend time reading the profiles of other submissives and slaves. [ editted for clarity ]

dontknowwhattodo -> RE: master cheating on slave? (7/14/2008 1:31:48 PM)
I'm sorry if i wasn't clear enough... i dont consider this to be cheating on ME, i consider it to be cheating on her. i am pretty sure she does not know, if she did, why would he hide it from me and her profile also said something along the lines of that they're completely monogamous to each other so dont bother messaging them for anything else besides friendship... i have absolutely no intention of continuing to talk to him becasue he was deceptive towards me and it looks like toward her, and thats not waht i care about. i guess that main question was whether or not i should let her know, because i would want to know, and was looking for opinions of you guys. i'm sorry i wasn't clear in my op. but, if you guys think that he was just playing around with me, which is fine i dont want to tell her because i dontw ant to ruin their relationship based on something stupid whic hsi what im confused about. all i know that if i was in a rt relationship wit ha master iw ould want to be aware of these things because it seems he is being deceptive towards her. also let me just say that i feel horrible about this and i never would have gotten involved with someone that has a slave unless i knew before hand and also knew that she was awre

dontknowwhattodo -> RE: master cheating on slave? (7/14/2008 1:39:49 PM)
the reason im not on my real profile is because im not sure whether or not i should out him... i dont want to cause her hurt if you guys feel he was just playing online and it was meaningless. im not t rying to end their relationship , i have been cheated on by a long term boyfriend before, and i really feel for her.

Lockit -> RE: master cheating on slave? (7/14/2008 1:43:25 PM)
My answer still stands. I understood what you meant and that he was most likely trying to cheat with you. Whether you were involved in such a way, doesn't matter to me in the sense that he was lying to you and planning to meet you and she seemingly doesn't know. He lied to you, not cheated in a sexual sense, but he is also lying to her if their profiles or her profile states they are not looking to play. You know more of his intentions with you and how you would feel if you were his collared. I personally would want to know. You cannot base what you do on what we say though. We can present how we feel, what we think and give some things you might not have thought about, but you are the one that has to live with whatever is or not done. Do what is best for you. Good luck.

eyesopened -> RE: master cheating on slave? (7/14/2008 1:49:49 PM)
i wouldn't tell her if it were me. i wouldn't call the online fling 'meaningless' either because there was some meaning, at least for you. She probably doesn't know about you specifically, but unless she's living in a cave, she probably knows there's something going on. Even if she's in total denial, you pokin' at it with a stick is only going to make her strike out at YOU. Are you prepared for that? my advice is to tell HIM what you know and the exact reason you are breaking all contact with him and leave it at that.

RedMagic1 -> RE: master cheating on slave? (7/14/2008 2:07:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit If you don't tell, will it in a sense haunt you? It seems to me that how you answer this question will decide whose advice you choose to take here. If you don't tell her, will you be what-iffin about it forever? If you do tell her, and the two of them split up soon after, will you be what-iffin about that forever? And suppose that happens. Is that better than not-telling-but-always-wondering, or worse? Figure out the best way to put this behind you and move forward -- instead of allowing it to be constantly itching the future-you.

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