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phoenixrising43 -> RE: master cheating on slave? (7/17/2008 11:22:01 AM)
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Thanks mzbehavin...I am highly skeptical of it. If it were true, he would have told me when she was diagnosed back in February, instead of way after the fact. I think he couldn't keep things straight after a while. I had no idea he was taking prescription pills without a prescription to the extent that he was. You just don't take that many 750 Vicodins for a headache or sinus problem. So now I of course wonder about other things, especially the sinus problems. Slow realization over time. I think he started not being able to hide everything well this year. In hindsight, friends here have told me I really dodged a bullet. Given the benefit of time, I will feel a ton better in the end. It just hurts that I was so slow to see all these problems he had or has...and I do, in spite of everything, feel bad for him and the people in his life right now. But, it's no longer my problem to worry about him or what he will do with his twillight years. He was older than me, and older definitely does not mean wiser.
I figure, I just move on, not make the same mistakes, and learn from the experience. Someone who holds a high level, professional job does not necessarily mean they are on the up and up in a lot of things. It just means they are a functioning addictive personality when they have dependency issues. I guess dependency issues also usually mean they are manipulators too. Like I said, I will chalk it all up to a huge lesson learned, and not make the same mistake. I doubt he even loved or cared about me, because he loved the other things too much. They were far more important than I was and eventually they got in the way of even BDSM play. I didn't really have a chance, not even from the start.
Edited to add...when I found out about the cancer recently, I told him, I would have helped out any way I possibly could in taking her to appts and whatever. But...I don't think she knows about me. I really give up and can only speculate and it's not worth even speculating about anymore.
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