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SurrenderForMe -> RE: Fetish wear (7/16/2008 10:58:15 PM)
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People that dress up, dress down, show their muscles do it because they want to show off something they are proud of having. They want to put their best foot forward to attract someone they can be attracted to, as well. If someone dresses up and goes out. They might enjoy being admired, but that does not mean they are in any way responsible for a viewer deciding they want sex. It is not an invitation to anything but notice. That cliche has been beaten to death by moronic rapists who tried to use it as a defense. The worst part is that it still influences perception. Guilty by reason of clothing choices and someone elses wishful thinking.
For some people their kink is not about sex, but sex is a part of it. I actually know people who do not integrate sex in their kink at all. I know people who do sexual things, but don't have sex. The statement that the lifestyle is not about sex, may be because, there are a lot of people who contact women in the scene because they think kinky means slut. For some it does. For many it doesn't. But stating that up front is an ineffectual way to try to deter the sleaze balls who want sex and nothing else.
Men complain about women on these sites getting a higher, hugely higher in some cases, response rate. For the most part, that envy is misplaced. If all those extra emails one gets are idiotic, insulting, denigrating, time wasting, space using garbage, they make it harder for women to actually get to the emails from people who are genuinely interested in meeting them and getting to know them. Pick a description, beautiful, ugly, fat, thin, top, bottom, domme, sub, slave, switch, each person behind those descriptions has a goal and it can be frustrating, depressing, exhilirating, etc to pursue that goal.
If is not easy and will not unless we get a telepathic network setup and that will have its own issues.
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