RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes?

RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (Full Version)

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HenryMiller -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (11/14/2005 5:55:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig quote: Oh, I see, you were referring to email etiquette. Why do I get the feeling this is going to come back to bite me or other dominas? [8D] Regardless, I think it's important to deal with people online or face to face in a civilized and courteous manner to the extent possible (especially if courtesy and civility have been extended to you). M I have some doubts that abruptly ceasing corresponding qualifies as discourteous and incivil behavior. Calling it socially clumsy is better, imo. It is an awkward situation, one is having a good discussion with a prospective play partner or more and when you fnally see them one is not in the least attracted physically. How does one back out? I wonder if there is anyway of not hurting feelings.

Kyami -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (11/14/2005 6:23:15 AM)
Most men are impaired when it comes to their vision :) They see only that which is on the outside, they are not capable of looking further. And please, I said MOST...there are EXCEPTIONS It is the exceptions that make the wait worth the aggravation :)

Kasia -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (11/14/2005 6:31:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HenryMiller I have some doubts that abruptly ceasing corresponding qualifies as discourteous and incivil behavior. Calling it socially clumsy is better, imo. It is an awkward situation, one is having a good discussion with a prospective play partner or more and when you fnally see them one is not in the least attracted physically. How does one back out? I wonder if there is anyway of not hurting feelings. Clumsy is when someone comes to my home and falls over my cat, that is clumsy. Abruptly ceasing correspondence is intentional rudeness, bad manners, insulting. And shows that the man has no guts. Maybe there is no way not to hurt someones feelings, but at least there is a way to be a man and human and respectful to oneself and others - to tell the truth.

lonewolf05 -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (11/14/2005 7:38:22 AM)
quote: Maybe there is no way not to hurt someones feelings ===== maybe? yeah ya never know how someone will take what and how ya say it. but hey,..all anyone can do, is try to be courteous and civil. now back to your regularly scheduled comments. woofie

sudja -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (11/14/2005 9:23:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Miriah I have met so many great subs with hopes of getting to know them and the min I say I am a BBW poof they stop responding. Can't even send a messaging saying "Thanks but no thanks I'm not interested." Almost makes a Domme say to hell with it all and just forget about it and go back to the vanilla lifestyle. Miriah Submissives are no different from anybody else. Some will be more shallow than others aka "assholes." If you are a Domme, you can't be anything else, and you probably won't be happy if your relationship is not D/s based. Trust me, there is a person out there for you, a plethora of riches from which to choose. (As a side note - there are IRC BDSM channels dedicated to BBWs and their admirers, might want to check them out, although that certainly isn't, and won't be, the only way to find your right person.) sudja

Miriah -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (11/14/2005 9:38:19 AM)
quote: Miriah, I noticed you have preferences in your profile as well. You state you prefer men between a particular age and that are 200 lbs or more. I think the advice given about looking at this as a preference and not a rejection based on weight alone is a very good approach. I wanted to say that I recently changed my profile and added in this information along with the knowledge that I am a BBW because of recent events. I am not sure this will help or hinder meeting submissives but I thought since I was going to be honest, I may as well go all the way. Miriah

Mercnbeth -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (11/14/2005 9:59:24 AM)
quote: I have met so many great subs with hopes of getting to know them and the min I say I am a BBW poof they stop responding. to paraphrase "Sex and the City"-they just aren't into you. when this slave was searching for a Dom, she came across ones who weren't "into" her for one reason or another, just as she met ones who weren't a match for her either. this slave was always grateful=much better to get that out of the way right off the bat then finding out you've been played later.

nephandi -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (11/14/2005 11:09:56 AM)
We all have preferances, i prefer partners that are occultists, it feel shallow to play whit somone that do not share such an inportant part of who i am, am i shallow for prefering partners that are into magic? sure i am, most of us are. Ricky Martin might have the hottest ass in history, but that do not mean that everyone will find him sexy, to some such a sex symbol would just be a blond stick figure of what a real man is to be, while for others he is the image of sexy. The same whit Marylin Monroe, to some she was the tip of the cake in looks, to others she was a blond bimbo ahlf fat and unatractive, our preferances varies. Like it is said, some like the mother while some like the daugther.

lonewolf05 -> RE: BBW Dommes? (11/14/2005 11:58:49 AM)
quote: Like it is said, some like the mother while some like the daugther. ============= can't do both can we? double the pleasure double the fun.....woo hoo wolf

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (11/14/2005 12:39:06 PM)
quote: I have some doubts that abruptly ceasing corresponding qualifies as discourteous and incivil behavior. In my opinion, ceasing communication after some regularity and positive pattern has been established IS discourteous; I consider it no less uncivil than talking to her face and abruptly walking away while she is still talking. I know on the net we can do that, but it's still not kool. quote: It is an awkward situation, one is having a good discussion with a prospective play partner or more and when you fnally see them one is not in the least attracted physically. How does one back out? I wonder if there is anyway of not hurting feelings. I can accept awkward, but life gets tha way sometimes, and I would think online rejection is fairly simple... Just write, "I'm not attracted" or "I didn't feel that certain je ne sais quoi when I looked at your photo". Hurt feelings can't be prevented sometimes, but I believe most people find honest backing out easier to take than disappearing acts. M

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (11/14/2005 12:42:44 PM)
quote: Clumsy is when someone comes to my home and falls over my cat, that is clumsy. Abruptly ceasing correspondence is intentional rudeness, bad manners, insulting. And shows that the man has no guts. Maybe there is no way not to hurt someones feelings, but at least there is a way to be a man and human and respectful to oneself and others - to tell the truth. LOL, That was very funny, and great answer to the socially clumsy comment. [;)] M

amazonlea -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (11/14/2005 4:29:54 PM)
Yeah, unfortunately we have to put that in front of people right away. Probably a good plan. Personally 'I' have the most trouble with this when 'I' am looking for the 'perfect speciman'. Quite often 'I' need to be smacked up side the head with it to remember that I need to look beyond the picture too. While I have my preferences (no blondes, no jobless, body art, etc) and preferences are perfectly normal and expected, I always get the most rejection when I am going after the supermodels instead of the normal people. Normal people are much more interesting than supermodels. (grumble grumble... I hate reality smacks.) My point is that you need to pay attention to what you are chasing as well. Are you being too narrow in your selection? If you are, that's ok, but be aware that the matches are going to be fewer and farther between. We need to be as broad minded as we expect everyone else to be. As thick skinned too. B

LadiesBladewing -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (11/14/2005 5:00:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyJulieAnn I don't think the fact that we all have preferences is the issue. If your friend had been talking with this Domme for awhile and had showed some interest, I'm surprised he didn't ask to see a pic from the start. [clipped for brevity] Be well, Julie I don't necessarily think that just because people have been talking and click, that they'll automatically ask for a picture. We don't ask for one, even for individuals that we are preparing to meet. Then again, appearance is only a miniscule portion of what we are looking for, so we wouldn't discern much from a picture -- we depend on the meeting... what happens when we sit down to talk... to decide the future of a potential relationship. At some point, the "packaging" gives way to the essence of the person, so we don't get too hung up on the 'wrapping paper'. On the other hand, we've had more than a few people who came to meet us, and actually -told- us that they were going to start in service to our household, and then never make contact again, not even to say "OOps, I've changed my mind." To me, that is a bit rude, but their actions opened the door for us to bring our current girl in, so I would be the last one to complain that they left us in the lurch and left this nice, convenient place for our Sunshine to fill. I've had the same experience with the abbey that I am responsible for. I've had people come to -me- and ask for training, and then not show up or not do the work. I don't force people to do this. Nobody forced me, and I don't believe that this kind of growth can come from being coerced, but I -do- wish that people would be honest with themselves and with me, just so that I don't plan and set aside time, and prepare lessons, and grade papers, and select reading materials... only to have them decide that it is too much work and they're just going to fade into the mist. (Just a small kvetch. smiles) I think this kind of thing happens in all walks of life, when people discover that something they had a 'vision' of isn't turning out to be exactly what they planned. Anything worth doing is going to take some effort, and in a way, I am glad that, most often, the people who don't want to put out that effort don't stay around all that long. (I just wish that they'd say "I'm leaving" before they go, so I know not to prep another lesson!) Lady Zephyr Edited for some severe spelling, context, and grammar issues grins)

Vancouver_cinful -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (11/14/2005 7:35:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Miriah Almost makes a Domme say to hell with it all and just forget about it and go back to the vanilla lifestyle. Miriah Personally it's been my experience that the vanilla world is even more weight-prejudice. The fet clubs I go to are full of large men and women all decked out in sexy clothes, they outnumber the slender ones. I have yet to experience anyone being outwardly negative about my weight in the local community I hang out in. On the other hand perhaps the men you're encountering have only experienced BDSM porn and think all women should look like Fetish Barbie. Their issue not yours. Cin

ginawithaB -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (11/17/2005 10:45:39 PM)
Gosh Miriah, Have not seen your pic, but if you were in NYC, and into ladies, I'd send you an email, if you'd have me, based on your profile alone, despite looking for a male Dom...(this is not some back-handed compliment, but truth-I'm bi). And I admire your posting your weight, that took guts. Guess that's why you're the Domme. peace, gina

michaelMI -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (11/17/2005 10:52:05 PM)
not all men are bound by what's on the outside, all of my relationships have been with BBWs and they were great, while they lasted.

APhacetoSit -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (11/19/2005 12:25:48 AM)
Ma'am, Imho, perhaps You could consider this a blessing, and Your own screening system. It could be better for You to weed out the a**holes before meeting them than after. i realize that it is frustrating to be dismissed over something that You have come to terms with, but we each have our apparent shut off triggers that stop some potential mates cold. i have been shot down or shut off for having an ex wife and children, for not over-reacting to an itnter-racial scenario, for being too old, and some combination of unspoken offenses like talking too much. i do, however, live in constant hope of finding that perfect Domme Who would find me as charming as i think that i am (and i'm humble too.) i beleive that You will find what You want also. Good luck with that. Thank the ignorant knuckleheads that shut You off for not wasting any more of Your precious time.

submissivesilk -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (11/19/2005 1:44:08 PM)
Well granted, i'm not a man, so it isn't quite the same thing. Personally, i prefer larger to smaller. i'm a tall girl, and certainly not skinny. When lookin for a Domme, i find i am drawn to larger women. i guess i'd rather hug a pillow than a stick. (no offense to thin people) Let me say this though, i have a lot of friends, both vanilla and not. Some of the sexiest women i know are larger women. It is more a state of mind though. They think they are sexy and they are. Please don't let a few narrow minded people disallusion You. You'll find what You are looking for and he or she will adore You just as You are. silk

jamesthehumanrug -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (11/20/2005 12:10:55 AM)
miriah dearest, greetings, if you can do vanilla ; you can do anything

meatgrinder -> RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? (11/20/2005 12:39:39 AM)
As for the answer to this..it's because the world has placed an image of what beautiful is.Most men do not look past the pictures. However there are a few of us that do see beyond the cover. i happen to be one. i have found that BBW's are more caring and sensual than the thin pettetie Dommes. So don't give up there is someone looking for You..

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