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from an aussie friend..... - 7/15/2008 5:58:48 AM

JstAnotherSub

Posts: 6174
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A Catholic Priest, an Indian Doctor, a rich Chinese Businessman and an
Aussie were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of
golfers in front of them.
The Aussie fumed, 'What's with those blokes? We must have been waiting
for fifteen minutes!'
The Indian Doctor chimed in, 'I don't know, but I've never seen such
poor golf!'
The Chinese Businessman called out 'Move it, time is money'
The Catholic Priest said, 'Here comes George the greens keeper. Let's
have a word with him.'

'Hello, George!', said the Catholic Priest, 'What's wrong with that
group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?'
George the greens keeper replied, 'Oh, yes. That's a group of blind
fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last
year, so we always let them play for free anytime.'

The group fell silent for a moment.

The Catholic Priest said, 'That's so sad. I think I will say a special
prayer for them tonight.'

The Indian Doctor said, 'Good idea. I'm going to contact my
ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for
them.'

The Chinese Businessman replied, 'I think I'll donate $50,000 to the
fire-fighters in honour of these brave souls'

The Aussie said, 'Why can't they f*cking play at night?'

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yep

Post #: 1

RE: from an aussie friend..... - 7/16/2008 3:22:31 AM

JulieorSarah

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omg ... so true!

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)

Post #: 2

RE: from an aussie friend..... - 7/16/2008 7:15:04 AM

ADOM2RESPECT

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Joined: 9/17/2007
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Ok it's fine for an Australian to make jokes about Australians....lol. Unfortunatly amusing and a little too accurate. Not bad from a yank....haha

(in reply to JulieorSarah)

Post #: 3

RE: from an aussie friend..... - 7/16/2008 7:42:59 AM

kinkienesss

Posts: 198
Joined: 3/22/2008
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lmao

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My manner of thinking, so you say, cannot be approved. Do you suppose I care? A poor fool indeed is he who adopts a manner of thinking for others!

Marquis De Sade

(in reply to ADOM2RESPECT)

Post #: 4

RE: from an aussie friend..... - 7/16/2008 2:50:21 PM

spinninsweetness

Posts: 477
Joined: 3/6/2008
From: London
Status: offline

hehe!

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I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. I actively seek it out.- Bill Bailey

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Post #: 5

RE: from an aussie friend..... - 7/16/2008 5:33:13 PM

Saratov

Posts: 1716
Joined: 10/22/2005
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Well you know those aussies... hangin' upside down all the time on the bottom part of the world. That and the Heat! Effects their brains it does.

(in reply to spinninsweetness)

Post #: 6

RE: from an aussie friend..... - 7/17/2008 1:12:02 AM

JulieorSarah

Posts: 552
Joined: 8/25/2007
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um er ... excuse me Saratov, after reading the many posts from the yanks on these message boards i'd guess at the moment the US is at the bottom of the world ...

hey even the Pope's on Sydney Harbour as i type, Tony Blair lived in Adelaide for three years before becoming the UK PM, (why Adelaide is a mystery to me!)

Nicole Kidman has come home with Keith and bought a place over the hill from my place ... and for the last week, the local temp hasn't gone above 15 Celsius (approx 60F) yes it's warm in Qld, but here in the highlands, not at this time of year. Many Sydney people heading to the Snowy Mtns for skiing and it's snow skiing!

You just have to be careful of the drop bears!

(in reply to Saratov)

Post #: 7

RE: from an aussie friend..... - 7/17/2008 2:14:48 AM

KMsAngel

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Joined: 4/13/2007
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quote:

You just have to be careful of the drop bears!

that's so mean. what'd the drop bears ever do to the tourists, hm?

funny story: i used to live outside of sydney, closeish to a wildlife park. i've heard stories about tourists (usually american) who got nipped by a kangaroo, wallaby, other native species, cat/dog, etc and go into panic mode - insisting they be taken immediately to the nearest hospital.

the aussies will waffle on, not take them, let the tourist work up into a right old panic, before finally, FINALLY, telling them there is no rabies in australia.

i'm never sure if i should sympathise with the yanks (i'm yank) or laugh with the aussies (i'm naturalised)

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20 fluffy points!

flightless cherub

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RE: from an aussie friend..... - 8/14/2008 9:53:33 AM

DaddyChess

Posts: 193
Joined: 4/11/2008
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why not play thru.. not like the would be noticed...

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)

Post #: 9

RE: from an aussie friend..... - 8/15/2008 12:55:38 AM

JulieorSarah

Posts: 552
Joined: 8/25/2007
Status: offline

Every culture takes the mickey out of the newbie, ... if the newbie comes from over the hill, or the other side of the world, doesn't seem to matter.

If you have an understanding of where the newbie comes from, you play on it, and sometimes the ignorance of the newbie can feed the taking of the mikey.

example: USA visitor asked at an Australian pub for a pitcher of beer ... Australians don't use the term pitcher in general, and in relation to a large container of beer, it's always a jug. In Australia the only picture they have is in a frame, book or magazine. In the USA, jugs refer to mammary glands, Australians have a long list of words for breasts, boobs, tits, etc, jugs is not there. so whent he US person was advised, hey mate ask for a jug of beer, and i'll understand, and the US guy's face goes red ... we'll say 'jugs' until he stops going red. Bit like why a Dom does what is done to a sub.

We have no fear/knowledge of rabies. That a person from a rabid country is nipped by an animal while visiting a wildlife park, which isnot unusual. Wouldn't you think the bitee would ask if they'd get rabies or infected or something before demanding to have medical treatment? We've all been there on both sides of the fence.

(in reply to DaddyChess)

Post #: 10

RE: from an aussie friend..... - 8/15/2008 7:10:33 AM

BlackPhx

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Yanno oddly enough rabies isn't the first thing that comes to my mind when bitten by an animal. Treating the wound is as it can become infected. The mouth is a dirty thing, even a herbivores mouth. But then again I am used to handling animals and there is always a risk an animal scared or crowded will bite, even the gentlest. Even cows can bite, not their favorite defense but they can do it, even though they are sans teeth in front. No, if I ever get to visit Australia..I won't be worried about rabies..now the Spiders down there and some of the snakes give me a hell of a pause, the jelly fish are to be avoided at all costs along with the sharks, don't plan on stepping on a blue ring octopus, or stone and scorpion fish, and yes I know the odds of running into any of these is slim to none, but then again that would be my luck, or I would pet the sheep with anthrax...sigh.

poenkitten

(in reply to JulieorSarah)

Post #: 11

RE: from an aussie friend..... - 8/15/2008 9:41:04 AM

Saratov

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Joined: 10/22/2005
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You can also find those nice fishies and the blue ringed octopus as well as the occasional aussie tourist jelly fish in okinawa.

And, two of the three kinds of cones shells known to be fatal to humans live there too. Be veeerrrryyy careful what you play with in the water there.

(in reply to BlackPhx)

Post #: 12

RE: from an aussie friend..... - 8/15/2008 12:15:30 PM

BlackPhx

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Joined: 11/8/2006
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But..But..I Likes da Watersports...

Sigh..back to playing with humans

poenkitten

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Post #: 13

RE: from an aussie friend..... - 8/17/2008 5:34:15 PM

havinfun181

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Joined: 9/9/2007
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So why couldn't they play at night????...lol.....yep I'm an Aussie

(in reply to BlackPhx)

Post #: 14

RE: from an aussie friend..... - 8/17/2008 6:28:13 PM

Steponme73

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Joined: 11/9/2007
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LOL...I love it! The Aussie's have a good attitude!

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Post #: 15

RE: from an aussie friend..... - 8/20/2008 3:28:45 AM

JulieorSarah

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Joined: 8/25/2007
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BlackPhx,
if I ever get to visit Australia..I won't be worried about rabies..now the Spiders down there and some of the snakes give me a hell of a pause, the jelly fish are to be avoided at all costs along with the sharks, don't plan on stepping on a blue ring octopus, or stone and scorpion fish, and yes I know the odds of running into any of these is slim to none, but then again that would be my luck, or I would pet the sheep with anthrax...sigh.

Yep some spiders and snakes are deadly, and some jelly fish, but the thing is none of these (except the shark) are predatory towards lifeforms near our size. The shark watch/ and nets are rather effective ... we only have 20Million or so people and most live in the areas that all these creatures live ... we loose so few and with the prolonged drought and other factors anthrax is virtually irradicated ... however i'd be careful of any sheep in New Zealand ... they are very VERY used to human contact ... and it's much worse than any drop bears could be ...

(in reply to Steponme73)

Post #: 16

RE: from an aussie friend..... - 8/20/2008 8:10:01 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
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whats a drop bear?

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Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to JulieorSarah)

Post #: 17

RE: from an aussie friend..... - 8/20/2008 12:47:32 PM

BlackPhx

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Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline

Julieand Sarah..trust me, if there is a poisonous spider in the immediate 10 kilometers it will find me..they hunt me.. I Know it and always have something to kill spiders with near to hand. Snakes I don't really worry about, and I am usually pretty good about avoiding jelly fish and sharks..( I live in Florida), but spiders? Hnd me a can of WD40 or wasp spray and I am happy.

poenkitten (bitten over the eye by a black widow when she was 4 and enemy of spiders everywhere since)

(in reply to JulieorSarah)

Post #: 18

RE: from an aussie friend..... - 8/21/2008 1:11:52 AM

mimkyodar

Posts: 72
Joined: 6/23/2006
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Oh man. Drop bears and hoop snakes.
Let me tell you, we've got the best and most vicious animals ever.

Drop bears - they're..well, you know koalas? What you northern hemisphericals call koala bears? Think of an evolutionary byproduct of them. Much more vicious, apparently carniverous - most victims don't like to discuss it. But you can read between the lines.
They call them drop bears because of how they attack their "prey". Up in the trees, you walk under, all of a sudden, "Hello Boys", you're struggling to have a face. (or wherever they land)

And don't think this is a joke. You may have heard of wombats? Oh yeah - them guys is vicious. A mate of mine kicked one once. It flipped out like a ninja and half took out his ankle. Sounds funny. Unless youre the ankle.

(in reply to BlackPhx)

Post #: 19

RE: from an aussie friend..... - 8/21/2008 9:23:39 AM

Saratov

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Joined: 10/22/2005
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Collect some drop bears, wombats and a few tasmainian devils, send/put one of each in a cage at a time and charge admission.

Place your bets mates.

(in reply to mimkyodar)

Post #: 20

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