slaves who r looking but.....

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

slaves who r looking but.....

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> slaves who r looking but.....

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

slaves who r looking but..... - 11/13/2005 2:48:46 PM

justlkn

Posts: 6
Joined: 8/12/2005
Status: offline

I am just curious, I have been here for some time and have written a few dozen emails to prospective slaves. I have never gotten one response except for a fake that I caught through her lies. Is it just this site that people don't respond to emails? Even if they are not interested or feel there is a connection , at least a simple reply of "no thanks" is appropriate. I also do notexpect anything of them except for polite conversation. Maybe I should demand them to answer...I am so sure that will work...NOT...lol. What gives\?

Post #: 1

RE: slaves who r looking but..... - 11/13/2005 3:11:51 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

You go fishing...we get about 2 threads a week here for people complaining about the emails they get and the emails they don't get.

If you are being yourself, not sending out form letters, sending out fairly nice unique emails, then chances are you will get to know some people.

Sending an email is no obligation that someone else will answer. Sorry for your frustration, but that's just how it is.

(in reply to justlkn)

Post #: 2

RE: slaves who r looking but..... - 11/13/2005 3:27:20 PM

nephandi

Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline

i must admit i have not be the best at responding to mail myself, and ahve actualy broken of conversation a few times, not out of wanting to hurt anyone but becouse of my depression for weeks i dont want to speak whit anyone and, even if i tell Doms aboute my depression many get angry when i dont respond for some time.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 3

RE: slaves who r looking but..... - 11/13/2005 3:46:50 PM

ginawithaB

Posts: 141
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

Have to agree with LuckyAlbatross on this one. Personally, if I get a form email, (ad-mail, as I call them), I absolutely will not respond. I also don't respond to any "dom" who "demands" I respond to him. That's a total turn-off and a bad way to start off with any sub, imho. A slave is a slave to her/his Master only, not slave to the world. She or He is not under any obligation to obey any other's "demands" unless directed by Her or His own Master. And, not all subs consider themselves slaves, and definitely will feel no need to obey you.

However, I never let the interesting emails slip by. And what makes an email interesting is up to any particular recipient to decide. So it always wise to present yourself as best you can.

Check out the thread "What do subs/slaves really look for in a Message?" on Ask a Sub/Slave. You might get some helpful insight.

(in reply to justlkn)

Post #: 4

RE: slaves who r looking but..... - 11/13/2005 4:10:55 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: justlkn

I am just curious, I have been here for some time and have written a few dozen emails to prospective slaves. I have never gotten one response except for a fake that I caught through her lies. Is it just this site that people don't respond to emails? Even if they are not interested or feel there is a connection , at least a simple reply of "no thanks" is appropriate. I also do notexpect anything of them except for polite conversation. Maybe I should demand them to answer...I am so sure that will work...NOT...lol. What gives\?

Getting known on the forums won't hinder your cause either. It gives a variety of people to get to know you and your ideas/style.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to justlkn)

Post #: 5

RE: slaves who r looking but..... - 11/13/2005 4:20:01 PM

Padriag

Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline

Sometimes even a well written, thoughtful email just gets lost. Women here get anywhere from 20-100 emails a day, or so I'm told. Just a few days ago I ended up chatting with a lass in the Lobby whom I had emailed a couple months before. She had never replied, but when we chatted we got along fine and quickly struck up a frienship. I asked her why she didn't reply and she was surprised, she couldn't remember my having emailed her, but like so many she gets a lot of email and mine just got lost in the deluge. And before you go emailing repeatedly, that may not work, some women will block someone who repeatedly emails them. Fact of the matter is, if you are relying on emailing profiles alone to meet someone through a web site like this, the odds are heavily against you. Its helpful to get involved in the forums and the chatrooms... talk to people and make friends, let folks get to know you for who you are.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to ginawithaB)

Post #: 6

RE: slaves who r looking but..... - 11/13/2005 4:34:21 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

I sat in CM for a couple of years, good profile and all I got was the rare email from some strange people. Typical was the guy from germany who wanted to drive to my home and submit to me... I guess he couldn't differentiate between Austria and Australia. Then I got another one who addressed me as Mistress ...

Yeah well after checking all the bits and pieces i was happy to find that i was still male but needed to get my wife to verify that it was all working.

Once I rejoined as Iron Bear and became involved in the forums, people started to contact me. certainly it was mostly about my profile and bloggs or some post I had made. the point is I have made friends here (Paidrig, Candy Stripper, Dark Angel are damned good examples of friends I value and whose company I enjoy). Frankly were I residing on the other side of the duck pond in the US I have no doubt that I'd have a kajira kneeling by my side as I post this.. Keep your head up, and have faith in you.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Padriag)

Post #: 7

RE: slaves who r looking but..... - 11/13/2005 5:03:36 PM

wipmebeetme100

Posts: 198
Joined: 7/31/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Is it just this site that people don't respond to emails? Even if they are not interested or feel there is a connection , at least a simple reply of "no thanks" is appropriate.

I try to respond to all the email messages i receive from this sight. I am probably 60-80 e-mails behind. I joined this site 7/31/2005. My received mailbox is 98 pages, each with 20 messages. It is hard to keep up with them all. And it seems the only way to cut down on my mail is to not log up to the site. When i am logged up and checking the message board i can get 15-20 messages in one hour.
Don't get discouraged....hang in there.

cathy

_____________________________

Happiness is like peeing your pants: Everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth
~Unknown

(in reply to justlkn)

Post #: 8

RE: slaves who r looking but..... - 11/13/2005 5:03:50 PM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

sat in CM for a couple of years, good profile and all I got was the rare email from some strange people. Typical was the guy from germany who wanted to drive to my home and submit to me... I guess he couldn't differentiate between Austria and Australia. Then I got another one who addressed me as Mistress ... Yeah well after checking all the bits and pieces i was happy to find that i was still male but needed to get my wife to verify that it was all working.

Once I rejoined as Iron Bear and became involved in the forums, people started to contact me. certainly it was mostly about my profile and bloggs or some post I had made. the point is I have made friends here (Paidrig, Candy Stripper, Dark Angel are damned good examples of friends I value and whose company I enjoy). Frankly were I residing on the other side of the duck pond in the US I have no doubt that I'd have a kajira kneeling by my side as I post this.. Keep your head up, and have faith in you.

IronBear

~honored to be called Your friend, and to be in such good company; also getting lust wrangled to the ground, LOL~

candystripper

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 9

RE: slaves who r looking but..... - 11/13/2005 5:32:33 PM

anopheles

Posts: 241
Joined: 6/23/2005
Status: offline

Honestly, I don't know how women, both Dom and sub can put up with the online relationship searches. The responses to women that publicly say that they are not on the market, so to speak, are endless

In response to the OP, it's not just this site that suffers from this problem. All relationship sites have that problem, where a lot of people just spam as many people as possible, and hope that someone bites on it.

--Anopheles

_____________________________

You've got me so high, my shoes are scraping the sky -- for my Luvdragon

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 10

RE: slaves who r looking but..... - 11/13/2005 5:42:39 PM

MisterV

Posts: 4
Joined: 9/1/2005
Status: offline

It's not just this site. It's just a sad by-product of being on the internet. Personally I think it is rude to not answer e-mails. Unforunately, the anonimity of the net makes it easy to be rude.

Elsewhere on the net I have asked the question of subs/slaves, " What is your criteria for answering emails?" The answers are so varied that it is impossible to pick one element. Just be yourself and the right one will answer...hopefully...LOL.

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 11

RE: slaves who r looking but..... - 11/13/2005 6:14:29 PM

DesertRat

Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline

As has been said, just be yourself and keep plugging away and you will get some responses. Several of my sub friends here have told me that when they do reply with a polite "no thanks", they often get hit with a nasty "YOUR loss, bitch" or "you're obviously not a REAL sub/slave" type response. If I got a few of those, I doubt I'd bother to reply after awhile.

Like IronBear said, showing your face here in the forums can help.

Oh....and pictures of adorable cat friends can be a plus as well!

Bob

(in reply to justlkn)

Post #: 12

RE: slaves who r looking but..... - 11/14/2005 2:58:34 AM

lovingmaster45

Posts: 261
Joined: 9/16/2004
Status: offline

I have two things that immediately must be on a profile before I will respond...A photo of the face and a location. If I see a profile with no pic and no location, I immediately assume the person is NOT really interested in meeting anyone. If it is a male, I think he has someting to hide; most likely married and cheating. I make these assumptions after years on line.

Try putting your pic up.

Remember there are a lot of people here who are only here to cyber, to keep up with the boards, or to communicate with their "net" friends...not to be confused with reality.

_____________________________

Master Jerry

(in reply to justlkn)

Post #: 13

RE: slaves who r looking but..... - 11/14/2005 3:50:44 AM

Padriag

Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisterV

It's not just this site. It's just a sad by-product of being on the internet. Personally I think it is rude to not answer e-mails. Unforunately, the anonimity of the net makes it easy to be rude.

I was always taught growing up that it was rude not to respond to a letter with at least a thank you note. When I came online I brought that bit of etiquette with me. But the internet isn't the same as real life. When women are getting 20-100 emails a day, and many of those are such charming one-liners as "on your knees slut" or "you are now my slave" or generic form letters sent to hundreds of other women... I can't say that it is fair to expect them to respond to all that. It would be like expecting you to respond to every bit of mail you get... including those shopping flyers, get rich quick schemes and other junk mail that find their way to your mail box. Fact is we don't respond to all mail in the real world and there are some fairly rational reasons why, I think the same applies online. Whether you call it junk mail or Spam, some emails don't deserve a reply.

As Anopheles noted, its a problem endemic to any personals site. I don't know of any easy solution, sadly I don't think there is one. It would take some very aggressive action by the site administration, which would be enormously time consuming for them, to even curb the problem (ie, any idiot emailing someone with "on your knees slut" gets an instant ban... now mulitiply say 5,000 female accounts by 50 such emails per day to review and you get an idea of the work load the administration would have to take on in order to deal with it, so who wants to volunteer to read all 250,000 emails a day... every day... for months...). I hate seeing a problem I can't offer a solution to, but this is one that I don't know if there is a solution currently.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to MisterV)

Post #: 14

RE: slaves who r looking but..... - 11/14/2005 4:02:29 AM

darkslife

Posts: 43
Joined: 3/21/2004
Status: offline

I have sent a few emails to doms, dommes, and submissives in the local area to inform them of the under 30s group. Some responded and joined, others weren't ready to step out of the shadows of online, and most never respond.

I personally don't care. If you are worthwhile, and they are ignoring you, for whatever reason, then that is their loss. You do nothing to help your cause by coming here and whinging.

Am I looking? No. I just keep an eye out for a girl Im attracted to. If it doesnt work out the way I hope, such is the way of things.

Let it go, and keep trying.

(in reply to Padriag)

Post #: 15

RE: slaves who r looking but..... - 11/14/2005 5:52:35 AM

FTopinMichigan

Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: justlkn
Is it just this site that people don't respond to emails? Even if they are not interested or feel there is a connection , at least a simple reply of "no thanks" is appropriate. I also do notexpect anything of them except for polite conversation. Maybe I should demand them to answer...I am so sure that will work...NOT...lol. What gives\?

Yeah, "demand" an answer!

The majority of e-mail, that I personaly receive, from sites (not just this one), are one liners, or not anywhere near the "introduction" that I request in my own profile. When I get a thoughtful and thorough introduction, I return the same, and begin a dialogue that will hopefully get us closer to meeting one another, if all goes well.

"hi"

"contact me so we can chat"

"wanna chat"

"I''m from your area"

"you are perfect for me"

"love your profile"

"I want....<fill in very explicitly described fetish interest>"

Is that enough to peak anyone's interest?

I find that the best response, and the only ones worth responding to, are personal...they aren't form letters or the standard cut and paste type (actually got one with another woman's name and location still attached), and then speak to the person you are responding to, and not just to all.

Many initial e-mail contacts really don't warrant a polite response, or nice rejection...they are better served with the delete button.

Not speaking to the OP directly, just making a general comment to his own observations.

K

(in reply to justlkn)

Post #: 16

RE: slaves who r looking but..... - 11/14/2005 5:57:23 AM

siamsa24

Posts: 2426
Joined: 2/2/2004
Status: offline

Hehe, I recently got a message informing me of an under-30's group in my area. Much to my dismay, I was invited, but my partner was not........

And to the OP, so long as you are being yourself, not sending form letters, reading profiles and being kind and polite I would say that you just haven't found the right people yet. If you aren't doing those things then I suggest you start

(in reply to darkslife)

Post #: 17

RE: slaves who r looking but..... - 11/14/2005 12:48:07 PM

slavedesires

Posts: 669
Joined: 3/2/2004
Status: offline

Neither one of us will ever post a facial view, we are much too private. A few times when out in public, esp swimming, my tat (which i created, so is very unique) was looked at with much curiosity ... my heart sank, omg they recognized me from "that site."
Others may wish their pic up to prove authenticity, but is that necessary? Does it really prove anuthenticity?

A polite response of no thank you is NOT beneath anyone when a well written letter is received in the in box. our girl received "does anyone believe this crap?" from a profile with a pic. (The profile was full of controlling demands from a sub, not something she expected, so how real was that pic?) she tried to respond and was already blocked.

We dont respond to or even open authentic junk mail from USPS or to mail such as kneel bitch, but not responding to well written notes is plain impolite, IMHO.

I also dont believe girls get 240 messages if they DONT have a pic. What bothers me is a short note of introduction and girls respond with a long note, 3 or 4 pics of naked bodies and never another message. Makes me wonder what they really want.

just my shilling's worth.

_____________________________

i speak only my personal opinion, sometimes O/ours.

"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

(in reply to siamsa24)

Post #: 18

RE: slaves who r looking but..... - 11/14/2005 8:25:15 PM

justlkn

Posts: 6
Joined: 8/12/2005
Status: offline

I just wanted to thank all those who shared their opinions with me. I do not agree with all of them but hey! that is why they call it an opinion. I guess I have not found right one yet. I already do most of the things suggested..have never demanded anything from any I have written to.

Now directly to darkslife....May i suggest you look up the word "whinning"..if you need one I can get it for you. I asked for basic ideas to this problematic situation. I addressed it properly and not condesending...I thought this forum was for help and ideas...right????

Again than you all!!!

(in reply to slavedesires)

Post #: 19

RE: slaves who r looking but..... - 11/16/2005 5:09:58 AM

MasterRobert1

Posts: 225
Joined: 7/18/2005
Status: offline

Lying does seem to be the norm here. It's something I have simply accepted. Wish it weren't true, but it is. Wish I give give you better advice than, be diligent and patient and ignore the bullshit. I know: easily said but hard to do.

(in reply to justlkn)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> slaves who r looking but.....

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094