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Do you consider yourself a Sadist? - 7/17/2008 7:34:03 AM

Steponme73

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I notice on a lot of the profiles than women have posted on collarme.com, have classified themselves as a Sadist. Are some women really sadists or do they just want to be the boss and make the decisions.
I think a lot of women want to be in control, but I wonder if they truly are sadists. In my opinion, the majority of the women that post here in Ask a Mistress are not sadists, but just like to be in control. Am I right or wrong?

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RE: Do you consider yourself a Sadist? - 7/17/2008 8:21:40 AM

MySweetSubmssive

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Sadist = pain
Dominant=control, boss

Not to bite the head off a noob, but I don't see the issue. Why is it hard to believe that someone who says she enjoys pain actually does? Do you have some other, unasked, question?

Dominant, sometimes emotional sadist,
Mss

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RE: Do you consider yourself a Sadist? - 7/17/2008 8:28:59 AM

HeavansKeeper

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There are murky levels of sadism to consider. Emotional, as MySweetSubmissive pointed out...

I like the yelps she lets out when she's struck, or squirming in her bonds, or watching her forced giggling when she's tickled. I don't like watching her cry, or watching her in physical pain like paper cuts, split finger nails, broken toe...

I also don't like to watch the pain associated with knives or needles.

Am I a sadist? 'Lil bit.

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RE: Do you consider yourself a Sadist? - 7/17/2008 8:32:06 AM

MizSexyVixen

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Yes I am a sadist. I consider myself a "sensual sadist," since I adore sexual torture. There are, after all, many many ways to torment someone. Pain is one of the tools I use.

BTW, in the top five "most sadistic people I know," three are female.

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RE: Do you consider yourself a Sadist? - 7/17/2008 8:35:36 AM

LaTigresse

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I am both. Some bring one or the other out more than others. The potential for extreme sadism in myself, scared me when I was younger.

One of my ex-husband's "business associates" once told me I would make a great exterminator. And I would have, had I not had loved ones in my life to whom I am quite dedicated. I could never do to my family what Richard Kuklinski did to his.

Plus, I hate bad smells.

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RE: Do you consider yourself a Sadist? - 7/17/2008 8:40:41 AM

LadyPact

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Ummm.... You're wrong.

I am a sadist. More specifically a sensual sadist, by definition. In other words, I want to hurt you until your body chemistry changes, and it feels so good. I couldn't care less about being "the boss" with My bottoms. My inner drive is about hurting them...... period.

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RE: Do you consider yourself a Sadist? - 7/17/2008 9:08:15 AM

DominantJenny

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I don't know who's in the majority; maybe you should do a poll.
Regardless, I am VERY much a sadist. My guy's bottom has been black and blue, and that took some SERIOUS effort as he doesn't normally mark.

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RE: Do you consider yourself a Sadist? - 7/17/2008 10:12:54 AM

Shawn1066

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My Owner is a sexual and an emotional sadist. She gets a great deal of enjoyment out of inflicting physical pain(with me) and mental pain(with Angel). A great deal.

She also likes being in control as well and she is the undisputed leader of our relationship. She makes the decisions and she controls me in a variety of ways.

So, she's a sadist who likes being in control, putting it lightly.

DV's Fox

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Post #: 8

RE: Do you consider yourself a Sadist? - 7/17/2008 10:49:30 AM

Missokyst

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Even though I am submissive and a masochist I am also sadistic.
What makes me sadistic? There are times I have needed to kick ass. I can be sadistic in a loving, painful way IF I really want to give someone pleasure and they ask me to do that. It has to be with someone I truly love because only then do I have the control to keep myself from harming them.
But there have been other times, bad times where seeing someone hit the ground makes me feel a rush of satisfaction. There were times in my life where getting the need met was great enough to change jobs. I was a bouncer at one time.
There are sensual sadists which I have done.. and sadists who just want to see a body bruised and broken on the floor.
I could care less about controlling them once I am done.
Kyst

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RE: Do you consider yourself a Sadist? - 7/17/2008 11:06:15 AM

Misstoyou

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I call myself a playful sadist. Pain for pain's sake doesn't do a thing for me, but a submissive's physical and emotional *reaction* to pain...pure yummy entertainment.

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RE: Do you consider yourself a Sadist? - 7/17/2008 11:13:07 AM

AAkasha

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A better question for dominant women is maybe this: If you could not have any service submission in your relationship, would you still have needs for sadistic interaction?

I think what you may be asking is if femdoms enjoy sadism on some level, or if they desire it as a part of a package in order to get a man to be submissive. Meaning it's a process that allows them to get a man where she wants him: to submit, to serve, etc. Maybe I'm wrong - but regardless I think that's also an interesting question...

My personality is such that I'm a leaderish type anyway and in any relationship I tend to be more outspoken. But I consider my 'sadistic' side to be a totally different animal/issue. I was "sadistic" long before I knew what bdsm was, and I "dominated" men in roleplay/"scene" situations regardless of whether or not they were my submissive or slave. Sensual sadism is totally weaved into my style of affection as well as sexuality. The desire to pull hair, to make a man wince, to hear him whimper slightly, to get him to phsically shake -- all those things are 100% separate from any desire I have for obedience or service.

The really weird question is this: Which would be harder to give up? I think I could readily give up "being served" but could never give up "delivering pain". In fact it's not even a hard question. I'd do dishes all day, pick up my man's laundry, let him make all the choices (as long as I could trust they were coming from sound mind) but in bed and intimately, I'd have to be the one in charge - and be able to engage in bondage, S&M and pain games with a man who is honestly able to be vulnerable to me.

Akasha

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RE: Do you consider yourself a Sadist? - 7/17/2008 12:21:00 PM

LadyHibiscus

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I am a sadist. Not a sensual one, either. My main fetish is obedience, and I get a great deal of satisfaction from it, but there is nothing like the energy exchange that I get with a masochist.

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RE: Do you consider yourself a Sadist? - 7/17/2008 12:41:03 PM

Reigna

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Steponme73

I think a lot of women want to be in control, but I wonder if they truly are sadists. In my opinion, the majority of the women that post here in Ask a Mistress are not sadists, but just like to be in control.

I'll add my name to the list of sadistic women.

Like MSS, I'm curious--why is it hard for you to believe a woman's claim that she's a sadist?

< Message edited by Reigna -- 7/17/2008 12:42:49 PM >

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RE: Do you consider yourself a Sadist? - 7/17/2008 12:45:01 PM

CallaFirestormBW

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Joined: 6/29/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Steponme73

I notice on a lot of the profiles than women have posted on collarme.com, have classified themselves as a Sadist. Are some women really sadists or do they just want to be the boss and make the decisions.
I think a lot of women want to be in control, but I wonder if they truly are sadists. In my opinion, the majority of the women that post here in Ask a Mistress are not sadists, but just like to be in control. Am I right or wrong?

I don't call myself a 'sadist', but I'd probably fit that category. I prefer to think of myself as a "pain artist" and "intensity freak". Creating a thing of beauty out of deep suffering is an art form that has been severely neglected. Check out "She who used to be the beautiful Heaulmière" and "Fallen caryatid with stone" -- the beauty of abject misery... oh, yes.. a phenomenal art form.

On a purely pragmatic level, I think that it depends on which definition you use. If you use the definition "one who enjoys the inflicting of pain on another", then yes, I suppose that between cutting, burning, and piercing, I'd count as a sadist. If you consider the definition to be "One who obtains sexual gratification from the misery of others, or from creating misery through cruelty against another." I don't think I qualify -- there is a sensuality to what I do, but it isn't specifically -sexual-... it is more intense than erotic, and I believe that I can truly say that I am never intentionally -cruel-, though I may be sharp, vicious, direct, or harsh.

Calla Firestorm

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RE: Do you consider yourself a Sadist? - 7/17/2008 2:53:51 PM

RumpusParable

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From: NYC now!
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OP, I'd say that's not the case, but rather that you've a lot of people with a mix of interests (dominance, sadism, or a mix), types of sadism (sexual, physical, emotional, or a mix), types of dominance (bedroom, tpe, scene-specific, kink-focused, and tons more), and level/intensities of sadism and/or dominance.

Personally, I'm not a sadist. I use pain in enjoying play with others and in my dominant role with those submissive to me, but giving pain doesn't hold any special rush for me. It's just a tool for fun or to illustrate control, like many other methods and actions.

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RE: Do you consider yourself a Sadist? - 7/17/2008 2:58:35 PM

PanthersMom

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From: Cleveland Ohio
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i've been told i'm a closet sadist; a friend of mine has been teasing me about the "mean streak" that comes out when faced with certain people. cub doesn't care much for pain, i enjoy teasing him and making him squirm with sensual "torture" if you want to call it that. but i have a side of me that never comes out with him, there's just no place for it. however i could very easily let that part of me loose with a couple people i know, should that opportunity arise.
PM

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RE: Do you consider yourself a Sadist? - 7/17/2008 3:08:13 PM

blackrosegoddess

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Joined: 6/19/2008
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I am a sadist. I love to inflict pain. To me there is nothing that says a person that is dominant should HAVE to be a Sadist. It just usually works out that they are.
As stated above many times there are varying degrees of being a sadist. Emotional, physical ect. I can do all of the above because I love the idea of complete control. As the saying says Mind, body and soul.

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RE: Do you consider yourself a Sadist? - 7/17/2008 3:36:06 PM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

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From: Portland Metro, Oregon
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I consider myself an adrenaline junkie. In order for me to obtain that adrenaline rush, I need to be in control, I need to make the decisions, and sometimes I need to inflict pain so I can feed off of the adrenaline rush in another person. I don't think I could live happily without either unless I was in much better shape and could afford to go skydiving daily. Even then, I imagine I'd still be smacking the pilot around when the plane was in auto pilot mode, or telling him exactly where to fly so I could jump at the location of my choice.

Does that make me a person who likes to be in control, or a sadist? I think it makes me both, but I don't classify myself as a sadist, like I said, I consider myself an adrenaline junkie.

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RE: Do you consider yourself a Sadist? - 7/17/2008 6:10:36 PM

HardcoreSlave4U

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I am a slave and a sadist. I don't need to be in control to enjoy causing someone pain. Nor do I need to cause someone pain to feel in control.

And you would be suprised at how willing people are to cause another pain:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milgram_experiment

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RE: Do you consider yourself a Sadist? - 7/17/2008 6:40:28 PM

Vendaval

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It is not an either/or question.

I enjoy being in control and giving pain; physical, mental and emotional.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Steponme73
I think a lot of women want to be in control, but I wonder if they truly are sadists. In my opinion, the majority of the women that post here in Ask a Mistress are not sadists, but just like to be in control. Am I right or wrong?

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