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RE: capitils - 7/17/2008 6:00:51 PM

Usako

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quote:

ORIGINAL: shadowcd
So i am curious what others think when they see a Dom/Domme with lowercased name, if it changes your first impression and overall view of them?

I'd think they were lazy and shrug it off. And no, not lazy because they're a "dom" and they should have capital letters. Lazy because a proper noun (aka a name) needs a capital letter. The only protocol I follow is that of the English language.

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ORIGINAL: Nymphetish
In my mind, a proper noun is a proper noun, regardless of orientation.

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RE: capitils - 7/17/2008 6:23:33 PM

sublizzie

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~fr~

I think the easiest way to tell a Dominant from a submissive is from what happens when you interact with them in real life face-to-face. Otherwise, IMO, we're all on a level playing field.

I do tend to capitalize Dominant and use lower case for submissive, but not always. If I'm feeling particularly subbie I'm more apt to use the capitalization. But not always. Now that I'm collared I find I don't have the same need to differentiate. Maybe because my Dom (notice the capitalization) doesn't care about such things and I'm picking up on his wave length on the issue like a good subbie. Maybe. Or I'm getting lazy. Not sure which one it is!

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RE: capitils - 7/17/2008 8:29:52 PM

oblige

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I have not read the whole thread, so just replying to the OP. As far as I know, unless a sub/slave has negotiated to or is in a M/s relationship which requires case sensitivity in typing/language use, the rest of us use normal English with Caps on proper nouns. Though, if I notice someone here in lower or upper case, I try to adress them as they present themselves.

No one owns me, and I am no one's sub, (yet) so until I am and my D or M tell sme their preference about use of grammar, I will use English to the best of my ability with no defrrence or expectation of who a person is based on thier case usage.

I am curious why a typed case choice would cause anyone to take anyone "less seriously." I tend grant basic respect to everyone unless they do an action which causes me to lose my respect somehow.
Be well. ~oblige

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RE: capitils - 7/17/2008 8:31:29 PM

hardbodysub

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It has nothing to do with length of time on this message board, experience in the lifestyle, or level/expertise in domination. It's purely personal preference.

Personally, I think that the English language rules for capitalization exist to aid written communication, and writers who want to communicate effectively should follow them. Screwing around with capitalization rules for dominant/submissive games/scenes/lifestyles was a bad idea from the start, but an awful lot of people have jumped on that wagon just because they've been told it's the way things are done here. I understand the reasoning behind the BDSM caps/lower case conventions, but I think the reasons for following standard English are better.

If I found a dominant woman who insisted on such BDSM writing conventions, but otherwise I liked her, well, the writing stuff wouldn't be a deal killer. It would be a silly annoyance that I'd just have to put up with.

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RE: capitils - 7/18/2008 7:50:58 AM

MaamJay

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Well I am a type of switch so I use the caps when referring to the Dominant side of Myself (Jay) and small letters when referring to the sub side (violet) so that both I and the reader have some idea of who is typing at the time! It's merely a tool which aims to improve the clarity of communication given that at times, Jay and violet can have conflicts of interests! Since in My ideal family there will be Master (whom i already have) and a sub of Mine (whom I am still seeking), I would tend to use caps for Master and smalls for the sub simply so the reader can tell which of the 2 gentlemen I am referring to. Again, just a tool, not a dogma. Face to face is not an issue as it would be obvious by the name I would be using, plus My manner and bearing as to whether it's Jay or violet that you are speaking with (generally it would be Jay to others). For Me it's a matter of adapting a chatroom convention that many are aware of (whether they like it or not) and using it to suit My purposes. I do try to avoid slash speak and I am not fond of third person speak (I get enough of that in science papers!).

With a potential sub, I might ask him to do the caps/smalls thing for a while BUT for a reason. It can be a useful training tool to get them to stop and think as they write, to consciously make a change which reminds them of their place. Can be particularly effective with eager boys with a "do me" tendency who are quick to wrest some measure of control back into their court. Once secure in their place I could easily tell them to drop it. That said, i still use it in my daily journal for Master ... mostly as a tool to keep me writing in my sub persona and not let Jay take over! It's not easy having a frustrated Dominant other half!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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RE: capitils - 7/18/2008 2:57:12 PM

MasterFireMaam

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Huh. I had to reply to see how my screen name was done. I use this one a lot, but in many places, it's all lowercase.

In the end, I don't expect people to follow my protocols unless they're in service to me. So, I don't really care what others do...but I do notice and follow suit when writing to them, simply out of respect.

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RE: capitils - 7/18/2008 3:23:34 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: shadowcd

i notice there are Dom/Dommes on here that do not capitalize their name, and a few subs that do capitalize theirs. i suppose if someone is new when they open the account they may not even think about it when they create the account. Regardless of the reason though i notice that if a D has their name without capital i just automatically take them less seriously as a D. Perhaps it's just cause i view them as less experienced, i'm not sure exactly the reasoning perhaps because it shows they are not familiar with various aspects or protocols which creates trust issues. i don't claim to know much about protocols and i'm definitely not very good at the entire capilitizing and such however i'm a submissive and am willing to be trained in anything protocols, rules or anything else for that matter a D wishes of me.
So i am curious what others think when they see a Dom/Domme with lowercased name, if it changes your first impression and overall view of them?

Yes. It tells me that they don't know that English dicates a proper name be given an uppercase letter, exactly the same as when a submissive/slave/whatever fails to use a capital "I" when refering to themselves.

Others will do as they wish of course but we do not hold with this notion of altering accepted rules of capitalization to inflate BDSM egos.

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RE: capitils - 7/18/2008 6:11:29 PM

daddysliloneds

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i would think, that like me, they just find it easier to type without having to do the whole capital thing. now if they were doing a business letter or a thesis for college, then i would worry about it; other than that, it's all good.

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RE: capitils - 7/18/2008 8:50:07 PM

SurrenderForMe

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I have to make an effort to notice. I don't do protocol outside of one on one. There are too many variables and it becomes a game of one upsmanship. I am not dominant to a stranger. I don't seek random submission. It reduces the value of the submission if just anyone can have it.

I try to use correct grammar and spelling (not always successfully). If someone is less impressed with me because of not remembering protocols that have no meaning outside of my personal relationships, then they don't have a shared mindset in that area. It would depend on the rest of their reactions and interests to tell me if we were compatible.

I do remember 20 something years ago when a friend of mine who was new to the scene read up on all these protocols in order to get invited to a party. She wrote an appropriatley worded, obsequious letter to the domme holding the party. I wrote a regular courteous letter. My friend was sure I would not be allowed to attend. We were all dommes. We met, we hung out, my friend chilled and started to learn to relax. It also turned out that it was male subs that needed to write rigidly defined letters. The main reason for that, was not submission, it was because she was trying to cut down on the numbers. Too many guys, not enough women.

Some people are all about imposing their rules on the world. I don't submit well. I differentiate between courtesy and affectation.

Same friend a year later at a club, joins a circle of dommes and switches, who challenged each other to see who could take the most hits. So a daisy chain made up of a lot of dominant women and a few switch women forms in this club, whaling away at each other. Result, in spite of explaining what happened, a whole bunch of submissive men suddenly saw themselves as pseudo-tops and thought that they had an opportunity. They were disabused of that notion. My friend took the most hits and was very popular, as a friend, to those women.

Common courtesy is the rule that I try to apply. Anything more than that, I need a really good reason to go along with and there rarely is one.

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RE: capitils - 7/19/2008 12:50:16 AM

StormsSlave

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No, caps or no caps...I could care less. Bigger issues in my life. Shaking my head. I don't do the whole C/c thing cause it annoys me. It feels like visual stuttering to me. I pay more attention to what they write than how they do it. Judging people for something like this is like judging their typing or spelling. People are who they are.

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RE: capitils - 7/19/2008 2:17:21 AM

MistressHowl

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Hello to A/all!! Oh, I am glad to come upon this. I am new on cyber and well, I like the G/grammar. But I am oten old school in so many ways, both scene related and vanilla! I like to do it and I like when submissives reply to Me in kind.. I believe Ds can type however They choose, matters not to Me. And agree with SilverMark- as I got caught recently while texting vanilla. Was typing away to friends, hit send and then saw the formatting but too late!! Got two replies regarding My safety and one girlfriend who works in city hall simply typed back SPANK SPANK!! lol Am glad to be on CM ! but it is challenging in ways real time is not-and vice versa.

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RE: capitils - 7/19/2008 7:04:34 AM

sambamanslilgirl

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honestly i could care less if a dominant has a lowercase or uppercase lettering to their name. just because it's typed in lowercase doesn't mean they're less of a dominant and/or don't know the proper protocols of their status/title. and the same with submissives/slaves who have uppercase lettering to their names - it doesn't make them less either.

good grief - lettering and whether or not it's upper/lowercase is the least of my concern. it's all about getting to know the person behind the screenname.

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RE: capitils - 7/19/2008 12:52:25 PM

leadership527

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well damn. you mean if i type this whole thing in lowercase, i'm not very dominant? well, would it all work out ok so long as i always made my girl type in a smaller point size than me? on the bright side, i have learned that not using internet approved capitalization is good for a periodic 12 page missive from some "submissive" somewhere who feels that it's her place to correct a completely unfamiliar dom. that's always good for some amusement.

more seriously, I tend to agree with those who have said they look askance at someone who appears focused on internetisms more than the reality of d/s.

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RE: capitils - 7/19/2008 1:27:51 PM

TwoDommeDivas

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Am I more dominant if I capitalize everything about ME?

Seems like total bullshit to me...

M. Dana

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RE: capitils - 7/19/2008 3:59:54 PM

Sub03

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My name is capitalized and I'm a slave....but then I am used to using proper grammer. Damn all that schooling.

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RE: capitils - 7/19/2008 4:15:50 PM

camille65

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I'm a lower case screen name because the 'C' was taken, so I was stuck with 'c' instead. I wanted the nick Camille because it is my part of my actual name, however 'c'amille works too. If people want to read so much into it then it is their choice but I personally think it is a mistake to use such narrow confines.

In a chat room environment I see where it can be a tool to easily identify those that are dom or sub, but it is only that, a tool. I've seen people actually banned for using 'the wrong identifier' which I think is extreme but it takes all types.

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RE: capitils - 7/19/2008 5:25:29 PM

neph

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I don't remember if my name is capped. I tend not to think about it. Some forum software capitalizes the first letter of your moniker, some don't. Am I more dominant on the ones that do it for me? (After all, I delegated the task to the software and it complied.)

There, that's the argument I'll go with. It's not that I am any more or less dominant, it is a question of how submissive the forum software is.

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RE: capitils - 7/19/2008 5:31:11 PM

xxblushesxx

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fast reply without reading the other answers:

I form my opinions on others, not based on whether they call themselves dom/domme or submissive/slaves, nor on whether or not they capitalize their names, but rather on how they present themselves. Respect is owed on either side of the slash, regardless of their nature.

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RE: capitils - 7/20/2008 10:48:43 AM

hardbodysub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: StormsSlave

No, caps or no caps...I could care less. Bigger issues in my life. Shaking my head. I don't do the whole C/c thing cause it annoys me. It feels like visual stuttering to me. I pay more attention to what they write than how they do it. Judging people for something like this is like judging their typing or spelling. People are who they are.

Don't you mean that you couldn't care less? If you could care less, then obviously you care.

Just kidding here, really. Lots of people use that phrase, and everyone knows what is meant. But I'm always a bit amused by it, and curious to know how such illogical phrases catch on.

[edited to fix error in formatting]

< Message edited by hardbodysub -- 7/20/2008 10:50:49 AM >

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RE: capitils - 7/20/2008 11:06:16 AM

StormsSlave

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Lol. I always used to say that about the expression "could care less." Then there I go and do it....lol...thanks for pointing that one out.

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