Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa?

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Why are you a "slave" and not "sub" or vice versa?

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Why are you a "slave" and not "sub"... - 7/17/2008 8:31:17 PM

DominaSmartass

Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline

Please note, I'm not asking what the difference is, nor am I asking which is better or any of the normal stuff that people get into arguments about. I just want to know firsthand, from personal experience:

if YOU identify as a "slave" why do you use that word and not submissive?
if YOU identify as a "submissive" why do you use that word and not slave?

Thank you in advance for staying on topic and not getting into the typical arguments.

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

Post #: 1

RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub&q... - 7/17/2008 8:32:57 PM

joyinslavery

Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

Good luck with this one.

Have fun.

_____________________________

"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

Post #: 2

RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub&q... - 7/17/2008 8:47:58 PM

LPslittleclip

Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline

i identify as a submissive as i have a submissive heart to help and serve. i serve honorably in the military and have a vanilla wife i am a nurse and a father as well as serving my M'Lady. my M'Lady and my wife have limits for me but i am not a 24/7 submissive. not for lack of wanting mind. even if my vanilla wife became a Dominant i would still desire to help others as that is simply in my nature to do. i don't think i could honestly serve as a true slave i have to big of a heart to be contained to just one person, maybe thats why i am in a poly family now.
proudly collared by LadyPact

(in reply to joyinslavery)

Post #: 3

RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub&q... - 7/17/2008 8:58:50 PM

Shawn1066

Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline

I primarily identify as a slave because my Owner says I'm her slave. I'm her property. Her ownership of me is pretty complete. I defer to her decisions in all walks of our life together. I don't consider myself a submissive because I'm not submissive. The term implies to me that one is submissive in all walks of life. I'm not. I'm a slave to my Owner...nobody else. I couldn't give anybody else the level of devotion and submission that I give her, and I wouldn't want to.

DV's Fox

(in reply to LPslittleclip)

Post #: 4

RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub&q... - 7/17/2008 9:01:53 PM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

I refer to myself as a submissive and not a slave, because I'm not owned or enslaved.

(in reply to LPslittleclip)

Post #: 5

RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub&q... - 7/17/2008 9:12:00 PM

DominaSmartass

Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline

3 great answers and no arguments! Thanks guys! See? I knew we could do it.

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 6

RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub&q... - 7/17/2008 9:25:10 PM

XaviersXian

Posts: 525
Joined: 9/8/2007
From: Australia
Status: offline

greetings to all,

I was a submissive when I started my journey...I was contracted to my ex dom, I negotiated limits, I had the option (and I believed, the right) to say "no" (to him, or anyone else). Over the years, with my learning, and discovery, I have realised that living that way (where I had the say, and *chose* to submit) didn't appeal to me.

I have come to realise (after a long and difficult three and a half years, so far) that the only way I am truly happy is when I am kept as I am now, with no contract, no independent choice, and completely controlled by my Master's will.

Being kept like this is why I call myself a slave.

well wishes,

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 7

RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub&q... - 7/17/2008 9:25:55 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I think of it as I belong with him, not to him.

Beyond that, I have a visceral bad reaction to being called a slave, same reaction causes me to hard limit body modifications. Go do the ticketed exhibits at the Holocaust Museum in D.C. and you should understand.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

Post #: 8

RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub&q... - 7/17/2008 9:30:01 PM

corysub

Posts: 1492
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I am not in a position to give myself totally, withhout limits and so I am subbmissive and not slave. Slavery is a much deeper commitment to a dominant and very special in it's totality of control.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 9

RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub&q... - 7/17/2008 9:31:00 PM

DominaSmartass

Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I think of it as I belong with him, not to him.

Beyond that, I have a visceral bad reaction to being called a slave, same reaction causes me to hard limit body modifications. Go do the ticketed exhibits at the Holocaust Museum in D.C. and you should understand.

I've been there before and I'm Jewish and have relatives who are survivors. Still, I love body mod and tattoos. But I get what you're saying and for the record I'm not a fan of "slave" so much either.

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 10

RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub&q... - 7/17/2008 9:37:06 PM

mbes

Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
Status: offline

I prefer slave to submissive, mostly because I'm not submissive in any of the usual usages of the word. I simply prefer to be owned.
We don't often use the word slave because he's not as comfortable with it, so we go with "owned" for the most part.

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

Post #: 11

RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub&q... - 7/17/2008 9:38:27 PM

joyinslavery

Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

Did I not answer your question or perhaps didn't address it?

Let me know.

Have fun.

_____________________________

"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

Post #: 12

RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub&q... - 7/17/2008 9:46:53 PM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

i consider myself a submissive. Though i do also consider myself owned; heart, mind, body and soul by Ma'am.

Why not a slave?

First off, i feel that by my definition of a slave; that i would not have the right to stand up to, or even against, my Owner's decision. This means no quiet discussion or even Her questioning what i would think about it, no matter the weight of the decision; but to immediately jump to and follow orders. Thus far i haven't had any need to seriously question any orders i've been given; but there have been a decision or two that were of an incredibly life-changing nature and i'd not be comfortable if i didn't feel i had the right to make my own decision.

Another reason is that the ideal of a slave; yes, this is my own definition of such, is absolutely revolting to me were i to apply it to myself. While i don't feel labels are entirely the end all and be all of Ds, i do feel that the labels you choose to apply to yourself are extremely important. For example, being called fat may not mean much to a person; but if that same person saw themself as fat, i tend to find that highly unappealing.

Finally, every one of those people that i have been close to that claimed a slave mind or considered themself a slave has been a person that i found to be horribly needy (that's pretty bad coming from me) and passive aggressively manipulative. Not good company for me to place myself in.

So, even if i were to be a slave to every one else's perspectives; i'd still refuse to consider myself one. At least at this point in my life, people grow and perspectives change; someday i might find that i'd bear such a label with pride.

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 13

RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub&q... - 7/17/2008 10:23:22 PM

slavegirljoy

Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass

if YOU identify as a "slave" why do you use that word and not submissive?
if YOU identify as a "submissive" why do you use that word and not slave?

i chose the "slave" category on my CM profile because that is the only choice offered on there that comes closest to what i am to my Master, a "Voluntary Erotic Servant", which is not offered as a choice on CM. i am His property, which is also not a choice listed on the CM profile page, answerable to Him and always under His complete control. While the word "slave" is a very general term and can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people, in the context of this site and within my intimate relationship, i am a slave to my Master. i am in a 24/7, RL, TPE relationship with my Master. He calls me His slave and that's what i am to Him.

i am still submissive, and always have been, within my sexually intimate relationships, even when i was with men who were not Dominant or kinky. So, i could just as easily label myself "submissive" also, but you can only select one of the 4 choices offered and, as i said, "slave" is closer to describing what i am to my Master than "submissive" is.

i do not consider myself to be any more committed to my Master, as His slave, than i was to any other man i was in an intimate relationship with, as a submissive girl friend or wife. i was just as committed to them as i am now to my Master. And, i am no more submissive, as my Master's slave, than i was as a submissive girl friend or wife. i do the same things now, in this relationship, as i have done in every sexually intimate relationship. The difference is in the amount of control that is exerted over me. The men i was involved with before didn't choose to have as much control over me as my Master does. If any of them had wanted to make me their "slave", that's what i would have been, instead of being their submissive girl friend or wife.

joy
Owned servant of Master David

_____________________________

Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. ~Dr. Howard Thurman

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

Post #: 14

RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub&q... - 7/18/2008 12:32:09 AM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

I consider myself submissive because i have a great deal of freedom to do as i please as long as i get my chores done and serve Him whenever we are together.

< Message edited by proudsub -- 7/18/2008 12:33:35 AM >

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

Post #: 15

RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub&q... - 7/18/2008 4:56:12 AM

DominaSmartass

Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: joyinslavery

Did I not answer your question or perhaps didn't address it?

Let me know.

Have fun.

All you said was "Good luck with this one" so I'm not sure that you addressed the question. Would love to hear your point of view if you're willing to share.

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to joyinslavery)

Post #: 16

RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub&q... - 7/18/2008 5:08:07 AM

Rayne58

Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

I refer to myself as a submissive and not a slave, because I'm not owned or enslaved.

Me too - I have a problem with the concept of "ownership", and I think I'm too "independent" in some ways to be considered a slave. There are certain things that I will never give up control over. However I do love to serve Sir and take care of Him both in and out of the bedroom

_____________________________

Collared sub and married to Nevershyau

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 17

RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub&q... - 7/18/2008 5:17:00 AM

lalbobbilynn

Posts: 483
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline

i concur.
b.~

quote:

ORIGINAL: corysub

I am not in a position to give myself totally, withhout limits and so I am subbmissive and not slave. Slavery is a much deeper commitment to a dominant and very special in it's totality of control.

(in reply to corysub)

Post #: 18

RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub&q... - 7/18/2008 5:27:15 AM

slaveskin

Posts: 19
Joined: 7/13/2004
Status: offline

i identify myself as a slave as a higher (or lower) level of submissive. i can make my own decisions about anything but i'd love to have them made for me, not because of innability, but because of the submission involved to the will of the Owner; that's a part of the beauty of slavery (for me). If i felt that a decision was very wrong, i.e. carreer, i would ask permission to state my opinion but i would obey in the end. Darch, i'm sorry i'm not a needy person and far from a manipulative one but i consider myself a slave. Further, i see no pride in slavery, but being a slave, pride has no room in my life; i maintain a decorum in my vanilla life but that's all. Slavery has a very long and varied history from slave rights to slaves being legally things (ancient Rome), we cannot recreate history but we borrow elements that we consider suitable.

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

Post #: 19

RE: Why are you a "slave" and not "sub&q... - 7/18/2008 5:58:34 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

i have always thought of myself as submissive. my Master calls me 'slave' and i submit to His definition of that role.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

Post #: 20

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