RE: Going to Munches Alone =\

RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ (Full Version)

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LordDarkPleasure -> RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ (7/20/2008 10:53:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SaraZeal quote: So I head there, only to realise that the cocktail reception is actually held in the biggest gay bar in Montreal. Would this bar be "Les Foufounes Électriques"? I lived in Montreal for 17 years, and lived in Hochelaga-Maisonneuve for a year, right next to the gay district, but I've never known if this was a gay bar or not. It's right next to downtown, and I pass it when I have to go somewhere downtown (a doctor appointment on René-Lévesque street near Saint-Laurent street). I never went in, but it always seemed to be full. No, the fouf is actually simply a bar with alternative music. I suppose there are lots of of them there though, due to its location. The place I went to was called the sky pub and was in the middle what I realised was the village. Nice place though, there seems to be many good restaurants there.

LPslittleclip -> RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ (7/20/2008 8:57:09 PM)
going to munches alone is a little bit unerving, but if you want to meet folks munches are a great way to do it. before i was owned i went to a dungon and just hung around watching the others play. it was the next time i went one of the members rembered me and asked if i wanted to play. that was in dallas the sanctuary, in atlanta i went to 1763 after chatting with a local dominant on line. look up the munch and hosts to get a better idea of them, also it gives you things to talk about. thats about all i can recomend to you. good luck and enjoy your time. happily collared by LadyPact

Roselaure -> RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ (7/20/2008 9:09:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kiwisub12 quote: ORIGINAL: SlaveSimone Holy cow, Paula Dean hosting a munch snorts I can just see her leather apron now, oh boy. [sm=rofl.gif] She could be the happy sadist - i don't see her as a sub type. [:D] Have you seen her beat an egg????? I don't know. I saw her mixing meatloaf with her hands once when she realized she still had her rings on. She commented that Michael didn't like her to get her rings all messed up and said "He'll probably spank me!" then looked into the camera and raised her eyebrows suggestively.

HeavansKeeper -> RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ (7/20/2008 9:28:02 PM)
It's comforting to hear that people understand and can empathize with my situation. I often forget how human everyone else is, even (especially?) when they are more experienced than I. My lack of trust turns inward, even when I know it will be alright. I'm having trouble finding munches in South Florida, which is odd seeing as the population is immensely large. Outside of "Miami Much" (Which, as a website, I found lacking) I can't find anything else. Anyone have the magical link I need that googling "Miami much" doesn't get to me?

CruelDesires -> RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ (7/20/2008 9:43:16 PM)
Slightly off topic, Interestingly enough, there is a local munch that is put on by one of the larger "groups" here in St Louis that for some reason, always seems to have someone who doesn't pay their bill at the end of the evening. It has happened at the last two munches that I attended with that group. I wonder why. Things like that just make me scratch my head. :-) CD

Exquemelin -> RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ (7/21/2008 7:23:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper It's comforting to hear that people understand and can empathize with my situation. I often forget how human everyone else is, even (especially?) when they are more experienced than I. My lack of trust turns inward, even when I know it will be alright. I'm having trouble finding munches in South Florida, which is odd seeing as the population is immensely large. Outside of "Miami Much" (Which, as a website, I found lacking) I can't find anything else. Anyone have the magical link I need that googling "Miami much" doesn't get to me? My experience with munches is they almost all have terrible websites.

thetammyjo -> RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ (7/21/2008 8:34:06 AM)
In any decent munch environment, the host will go out of his/her way to say "hi" to a newcomer. How that newcomer is then treated is a matter of how he/she acts. If you go, listen politely, treat everyone with respect, and make sure you pay for your food and tip well.. that's a great start. I recommend observing for a while at first to see how the conversation flows and getting involved in that existing flow. Asking a string of questions, especially scene ones suggests you are there to get sex not to join the community.

Alumbrado -> RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ (7/21/2008 8:37:25 AM)
quote: How that newcomer is then treated is a matter of how he/she acts. What an amazing concept! [;)]

inspiredangel -> RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ (7/21/2008 11:03:24 AM)
Perhaps I am wrong in my thinking..... but... personally I haven't been to any munches, because I don't know what to expect. I think a lot of that stems from my first real experience as an owned sub. I wasn't allowed to attend any munches, read any blogs, etc - I realize now that He was just insecure in who He was. I can only speak for myself - the lack of experience and knowledge honestly terrifies me. I'm sure I'll receive some interesting comments about this grins and adjusts my halo

Exquemelin -> RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ (7/21/2008 5:56:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: inspiredangel Perhaps I am wrong in my thinking..... but... personally I haven't been to any munches, because I don't know what to expect. I think a lot of that stems from my first real experience as an owned sub. I wasn't allowed to attend any munches, read any blogs, etc - I realize now that He was just insecure in who He was. I can only speak for myself - the lack of experience and knowledge honestly terrifies me. I'm sure I'll receive some interesting comments about this grins and adjusts my halo I was told the first time I went to the munch i used to go to, that someone had come three or four times and sat in there car never coming in. Eventually they did come and had a good time. A munch can be intimidating your first time.

Skully7000 -> RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ (7/21/2008 7:01:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Really depends on the group. On the whole, couples and single women are always warmly (sometimes overly so) welcomed, while single males are either completely ignored or coolly received. It's REALLY hard to go alone the first time, but not impossible and might pan out. Some groups are really just very good at welcoming all, and some groups never are no matter who you happen to be. [sm=agree.gif] its like anything else. you have to find the right balance of Confidence and humbleness. go there looking to gain as much as you have to offer and most people will be welcoming. my only suggestion about the LDR part is don't over play that card to much. it might sound like you are making your partner up even though you are not... seriously people do weird things to be accepted, and others are very often jaded beyond repair. Cheers and good luck Skully

ResidentSadist -> RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ (7/22/2008 1:33:20 AM)
quote: How do your local scenes respond to "newcomers" in my situation? My old Sarasota Society group rolled out the red carpet for all newcomers top or bottom . Our motto was "the society that place together stays together! I know that the general code of conduct among the older BDSM community members is to integrate sincere newcomers. We feel it is our duty to enhance the society in general by helping newcomers become active in our groups. It’s how we survived and grew as a community. Fresh meat for the ranks so to speak. I think you’ll find this true for all urban areas that are old enough to have the BDSM organizations that stretch back for many years.

joyinslavery -> RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ (7/22/2008 2:24:40 AM)
Sadly, I'd show up to munches with someone or in a group but I'd always end up alone and leaving by myself. At first I thought it was because the person or people I came with hooked up but then I found out that they were acting like they didn't even know me! Weird, right? Love you.

silkncarol -> RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ (7/22/2008 2:35:44 AM)
I think it's gonna be what you make it.....most places you'll have to do some circulating, unless they have a greeter who will walk you around and make introductions. Give it a try...i've met lots of really good people over the year and made many lasting friends. If you're in the Miami area......what about SPICE? Lots of good people there.... quote: ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch are you still in Miami? There is a munch that just got started that Cuffkinks, Hejira92 and I were trying to get to last month http://www.miamimunch.com/ . It is run by MasterArkady on this site. I didn't see any future munches scheduled, but maybe if we can get a little group together to go to one, we'd all feel comfortable...

Daddystouch -> RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ (7/22/2008 5:55:12 AM)
I'd also advise you arrive early. Lukily, when I went to my first munch I arrived when there were only three people there. That way I didn't have several enclosed groups from which to pick one and approach. They were the only people to be approached and there were not enough people to form a circle or take up all the seats in the immediate area, so 'entering' was easy. Then, everyoen who came for a while after that joined this group as well, saying hello, so I got to meet lots of people. Then when groups started to break away and be more inward-looking I was already 'on the inside' so to speak. This munch is at a bar, rather than an eatery, so you don't need to pay for anything if you don't want to.

thetammyjo -> RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ (7/22/2008 5:56:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: inspiredangel Perhaps I am wrong in my thinking..... but... personally I haven't been to any munches, because I don't know what to expect. I think a lot of that stems from my first real experience as an owned sub. I wasn't allowed to attend any munches, read any blogs, etc - I realize now that He was just insecure in who He was. I can only speak for myself - the lack of experience and knowledge honestly terrifies me. I'm sure I'll receive some interesting comments about this grins and adjusts my halo Contact the munch host and ask some questions. Part of her or his job is to make the munch as comfortable and inviting for everyone but everyone also needs to take that step and find out what is expected. Things to ask: 1. What type of dress is appropriate in the venue? 2. When is good time for newcomer to arrive? (after the host, I'd say, don't be be waiting around early, you'll get nervous) 3. Is there formal topic of discussion? 4. How long does the munch last? Then you can take some extra steps to calm your nerves by checking out the venue yourself. Go there a week before at about the same time to observe how folks dress, what type of food they have, how much money you need to bring, do they take only cash, etc. I would not ask the restaurant about the munch frankly... odds are that either they just think it's a general group that comes in or they will want to respect the privacy of their regular customers.

Archer -> RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ (7/22/2008 6:21:05 AM)
Single Male Het Dom, certainly one in that catagory of BDSM has to overcome the bad reputation that others have created for them. If you go in understanding that you will have to overcome the sterotype, the odds are good you can have a great time in short order. Go in sit back figure out who's who among your peers. Who are the big Kahoona Dominants with good reputations? Spend a moment or so talking with them, who are the Dominants who match or at least comliment your style of carryng themselves? Spend some time with them. But above all during your initial visit observe the "sharks" and avoid being grouped in with them. Your first goal is to prove that you are not the predator type, once you have established this munches can prove to be fun.

sblady -> RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ (7/22/2008 6:58:39 AM)
HeavansKeeper, Thank you so much for starting this post. Although I'm a female submissive, I've been terrified to attend a munch on my own. I've received invitations from Doms to attend munches with them, but I don't want anyone to think we're a "couple" (no offense meant to these Doms). TammyJo, thanks so much for the information you provided. I'm going to see what's going on in my area this weekend. I know I'll have to attend more than a few munches to really get to a comfort level, but hey....it's better than sitting at home wishing I'd gone.

thetammyjo -> RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ (7/22/2008 8:19:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sblady HeavansKeeper, Thank you so much for starting this post. Although I'm a female submissive, I've been terrified to attend a munch on my own. I've received invitations from Doms to attend munches with them, but I don't want anyone to think we're a "couple" (no offense meant to these Doms). TammyJo, thanks so much for the information you provided. I'm going to see what's going on in my area this weekend. I know I'll have to attend more than a few munches to really get to a comfort level, but hey....it's better than sitting at home wishing I'd gone. And over the munches the regulars will get to know you and with time you'll be become one of the regulars. Good luck and have fun.

Archer -> RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ (7/22/2008 9:17:15 AM)
Single women, I have often suggested that they do the same thing they generally do at bars etc. Network and find other women to attend with. The gaggle of gals works wonders to keep the wolves at bay. LOL Shouldn't be hard to find another woman in your area to meet a little before hand and then head over to the munch together.

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