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RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ - 7/20/2008 10:53:21 AM   
LordDarkPleasure


Posts: 91
Joined: 4/26/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SaraZeal

quote:

So I head there, only to realise that the cocktail reception is actually held in the biggest gay bar in Montreal.


Would this bar be "Les Foufounes Électriques"? I lived in Montreal for 17 years, and lived in Hochelaga-Maisonneuve for a year, right next to the gay district, but I've never known if this was a gay bar or not. It's right next to downtown, and I pass it when I have to go somewhere downtown (a doctor appointment on René-Lévesque street near Saint-Laurent street). I never went in, but it always seemed to be full.



No, the fouf  is actually simply a bar with alternative music.  I suppose there are lots of of them there though, due to its location.  The place I went to was called the sky pub and was in the middle what I realised was the village.  Nice place though,  there seems to be many good restaurants there.

(in reply to SaraZeal)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ - 7/20/2008 8:57:09 PM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		going to munches alone is a little bit unerving, but if you want to meet folks munches are a great way to do it. before i was owned i went to a dungon and just hung around watching the others play. it was the next time i went one of the members rembered me and asked if i wanted to play. that was in dallas the sanctuary, in atlanta i went to 1763 after chatting with a local dominant on line. look up the munch and hosts  to get a better idea of them, also it gives you things to talk about. thats about all i can recomend to you.
good luck and enjoy your time.
happily collared by LadyPact

(in reply to LordDarkPleasure)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ - 7/20/2008 9:09:17 PM   
Roselaure


Posts: 672
Joined: 4/12/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveSimone

Holy cow, Paula Dean hosting a munch *snorts* I can just see her leather apron now, oh boy.





She could be the happy sadist - i don't see her as  a sub type.

Have you seen her beat an egg?????


I don't know.  I saw her mixing meatloaf with her hands once when she realized she still had her rings on.  She commented that Michael didn't like her to get her rings all messed up and said "He'll probably spank me!" then looked into the camera and raised her eyebrows suggestively. 

_____________________________

Once conform, once do what other people do because they do it, and lethargy steals over all the finer nerves and faculties of the soul.
-Virginia Woolf

(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ - 7/20/2008 9:28:02 PM   
HeavansKeeper


Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		It's comforting to hear that people understand and can empathize with my situation.  I often forget how human everyone else is, even (especially?) when they are more experienced than I.  My lack of trust turns inward, even when I know it will be alright.

I'm having trouble finding munches in South Florida, which is odd seeing as the population is immensely large.  Outside of "Miami Much" (Which, as a website, I found lacking) I can't find anything else.  Anyone have the magical link I need that googling "Miami much" doesn't get to me?

_____________________________

The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

(in reply to Roselaure)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ - 7/20/2008 9:43:16 PM   
CruelDesires


Posts: 824
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		Slightly off topic,

Interestingly enough, there is a local munch that is put on by one of the larger "groups" here in St Louis that for some reason, always seems to have someone who doesn't pay their bill at the end of the evening. It has happened at the last two munches that I attended with that group. I wonder why.

Things like that just make me scratch my head. :-)

CD

_____________________________

Reputation is what other people know about you. Honor is what you know about yourself.
Lois McMaster Bujold, "A Civil Campaign", 1999

(in reply to winterlight)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ - 7/21/2008 7:23:08 AM   
Exquemelin


Posts: 113
Joined: 2/2/2007
From: CT
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper

It's comforting to hear that people understand and can empathize with my situation.  I often forget how human everyone else is, even (especially?) when they are more experienced than I.  My lack of trust turns inward, even when I know it will be alright.

I'm having trouble finding munches in South Florida, which is odd seeing as the population is immensely large.  Outside of "Miami Much" (Which, as a website, I found lacking) I can't find anything else.  Anyone have the magical link I need that googling "Miami much" doesn't get to me?
My experience with munches is they almost all have terrible websites.


_____________________________

testing
The Hammer is my penis.

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ - 7/21/2008 8:34:06 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		In any decent munch environment, the host will go out of his/her way to say "hi" to a newcomer.

How that newcomer is then treated is a matter of how he/she acts.

If you go, listen politely, treat everyone with respect, and make sure you pay for your food and tip well.. that's a great start.

I recommend observing for a while at first to see how the conversation flows and getting involved in that existing flow. Asking a string of questions, especially scene ones suggests you are there to get sex not to join the community.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ - 7/21/2008 8:37:25 AM   
Alumbrado


Posts: 5560
Status: offline
quote:

How that newcomer is then treated is a matter of how he/she acts.


What an amazing concept!   

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ - 7/21/2008 11:03:24 AM   
inspiredangel


Posts: 3
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline 		Perhaps I am wrong in my thinking..... but...  personally I haven't been to any munches, because I don't know what to expect.  I think a lot of that stems from my first real experience as an owned sub.  I wasn't allowed to attend any munches, read any blogs, etc - I realize now that He was just insecure in who He was.  I can only speak for myself - the lack of experience and knowledge honestly terrifies me.  I'm sure I'll receive some interesting comments about this  *grins and adjusts my halo*

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~Action expresses priorities.~ Ghandi

(in reply to Alumbrado)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ - 7/21/2008 5:56:42 PM   
Exquemelin


Posts: 113
Joined: 2/2/2007
From: CT
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: inspiredangel

Perhaps I am wrong in my thinking..... but...  personally I haven't been to any munches, because I don't know what to expect.  I think a lot of that stems from my first real experience as an owned sub.  I wasn't allowed to attend any munches, read any blogs, etc - I realize now that He was just insecure in who He was.  I can only speak for myself - the lack of experience and knowledge honestly terrifies me.  I'm sure I'll receive some interesting comments about this  *grins and adjusts my halo*
I was told the first time I went to the munch i used to go to, that someone had come three or four times and sat in there car never coming in. Eventually they did come and had a good time. A munch can be intimidating your first time.


_____________________________

testing
The Hammer is my penis.

(in reply to inspiredangel)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ - 7/21/2008 7:01:43 PM   
Skully7000


Posts: 377
Joined: 7/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Really depends on the group.  On the whole, couples and single women are always warmly (sometimes overly so) welcomed, while single males are either completely ignored or coolly received.

It's REALLY hard to go alone the first time, but not impossible and might pan out.  Some groups are really just very good at welcoming all, and some groups never are no matter who you happen to be.




its like anything else. you have to find the right balance of Confidence and humbleness. go there looking to gain as much as you have to offer and most people will be welcoming.

my only suggestion about the LDR part is don't over play that card to much. it might sound like you are making your partner up even though you are not... seriously people do weird things to be accepted, and others are very often jaded beyond repair.

Cheers and good luck
Skully


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ - 7/22/2008 1:33:20 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

How do your local scenes respond to "newcomers" in my situation?

My old Sarasota Society group rolled out the red carpet for all newcomers top or bottom .  Our motto was "the society that place together stays together!
 
I know that the general code of conduct among the older BDSM community members is to integrate sincere newcomers.  We feel it is our duty to enhance the society in general by helping newcomers become active in our groups.  It’s how we survived and grew as a community.  Fresh meat for the ranks so to speak.  I think you’ll find this true for all urban areas that are old enough to have the BDSM organizations that stretch back for many years.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ - 7/22/2008 2:24:40 AM   
joyinslavery


Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline 		Sadly,

I'd show up to munches with someone or in a group but I'd always end up alone and leaving by myself. 

At first I thought it was because the person or people I came with hooked up but then I found out that they were acting like they didn't even know me!  Weird, right?   

Love you.   

_____________________________

"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ - 7/22/2008 2:35:44 AM   
silkncarol


Posts: 318
Status: offline 		I think it's gonna be what you make it.....most places you'll have to do some circulating, unless they have a greeter who will walk you around and make introductions.  Give it a try...i've met lots of really good people over the year and made many lasting friends.

If you're in the Miami area......what about SPICE?    Lots of good people there....


quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

are you still in Miami?  There is a munch that just got started that Cuffkinks, Hejira92 and I were trying to get to last month  http://www.miamimunch.com/ .  It is run by MasterArkady on this site.  I didn't see any future munches scheduled, but maybe if we can get a little group together to go to one, we'd all feel comfortable...


_____________________________

We attract hearts by the qualities we display. We retain them by the qualities we possess.

Shoes can change your life................. Cinderella

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ - 7/22/2008 5:55:12 AM   
Daddystouch


Posts: 162
Joined: 10/20/2006
From: South East England
Status: offline 		I'd also advise you arrive early. Lukily, when I went to my first munch I arrived when there were only three people there. That way I didn't have several enclosed groups from which to pick one and approach. They were the only people to be approached and there were not enough people to form a circle or take up all the seats in the immediate area, so 'entering' was easy. Then, everyoen who came for a while after that joined this group as well, saying hello, so I got to meet lots of people. Then when groups started to break away and be more inward-looking I was already 'on the inside' so to speak.

This munch is at a bar, rather than an eatery, so you don't need to pay for anything if you don't want to.


_____________________________

What men in all the world have shown such daring?

(in reply to silkncarol)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ - 7/22/2008 5:56:20 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: inspiredangel

Perhaps I am wrong in my thinking..... but... personally I haven't been to any munches, because I don't know what to expect. I think a lot of that stems from my first real experience as an owned sub. I wasn't allowed to attend any munches, read any blogs, etc - I realize now that He was just insecure in who He was. I can only speak for myself - the lack of experience and knowledge honestly terrifies me. I'm sure I'll receive some interesting comments about this *grins and adjusts my halo*


Contact the munch host and ask some questions. Part of her or his job is to make the munch as comfortable and inviting for everyone but everyone also needs to take that step and find out what is expected.

Things to ask:
1. What type of dress is appropriate in the venue?
2. When is good time for newcomer to arrive? (after the host, I'd say, don't be be waiting around early, you'll get nervous)
3. Is there formal topic of discussion?
4. How long does the munch last?

Then you can take some extra steps to calm your nerves by checking out the venue yourself. Go there a week before at about the same time to observe how folks dress, what type of food they have, how much money you need to bring, do they take only cash, etc. I would not ask the restaurant about the munch frankly... odds are that either they just think it's a general group that comes in or they will want to respect the privacy of their regular customers.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to inspiredangel)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ - 7/22/2008 6:21:05 AM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		Single Male Het Dom, certainly one in that catagory of BDSM has to overcome the bad reputation that others have created for them. If you go in understanding that you will have to overcome the sterotype, the odds are good you can have a great time in short order.

Go in sit back figure out who's who among your peers. Who are the big Kahoona Dominants with good reputations?
Spend a moment or so talking with them, who are the Dominants who match or at least comliment your style of carryng themselves? Spend some time with them. But above all during your initial visit observe the "sharks" and avoid being grouped in with them.

Your first goal is to prove that you are not the predator type, once you have established this munches can prove to be fun.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ - 7/22/2008 6:58:39 AM   
sblady


Posts: 433
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline 		HeavansKeeper,

Thank you so much for starting this post.  Although I'm a female submissive, I've been terrified to attend a munch on my own.  I've received invitations from Doms to attend munches with them, but I don't want anyone to think we're a "couple" (no offense meant to these Doms).

TammyJo, thanks so much for the information you provided.  I'm going to see what's going on in my area this weekend.  I know I'll have to attend more than a few munches to really get to a comfort level, but hey....it's better than sitting at home wishing I'd gone.


(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ - 7/22/2008 8:19:13 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sblady

HeavansKeeper,

Thank you so much for starting this post. Although I'm a female submissive, I've been terrified to attend a munch on my own. I've received invitations from Doms to attend munches with them, but I don't want anyone to think we're a "couple" (no offense meant to these Doms).

TammyJo, thanks so much for the information you provided. I'm going to see what's going on in my area this weekend. I know I'll have to attend more than a few munches to really get to a comfort level, but hey....it's better than sitting at home wishing I'd gone.




And over the munches the regulars will get to know you and with time you'll be become one of the regulars.

Good luck and have fun.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to sblady)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Going to Munches Alone =\ - 7/22/2008 9:17:15 AM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		Single women, I have often suggested that they do the same thing they generally do at bars etc. Network and find other women to attend with. The gaggle of gals works wonders to keep the wolves at bay. LOL
Shouldn't be hard to find another woman in your area to meet a little before hand and then head over to the munch together.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 60
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