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RE: I know... - 7/20/2008 1:05:38 PM   
RCdc


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I don't believe that seriousness is the issue but whether people can dissociate the person from the article written.  Most of the time, emotion rules for many people and they cannot seperate them which leads to bias discussions.
People who are easily provoked, use provocation.
But that doesn't make them less serious, just emulating that which they are already familiar with.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________


RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Lumus)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: I know... - 7/20/2008 1:08:19 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
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 Let's say that everyone here starts posting on threads and telling
the OP's what they think of them, out of the blue.
People that they have never even corresponded with.
What great fun that could be and what does it prove?
 
There are many people who post on here and I may not like what they
say, their opinions, the way they look, or anything about them.
 But, guess what?
They have a right to be here and to state their opinions within tos and what

the mods tolerate.
I actually enjoy reading a wide variety of opinions, and those that trouble me
I can overlook, ignore or just stop reading.

The op and all his friends and supporters have a right to be here, just as I do.
I have the right to decide who I want to befriend and bring into my personal space/circle of life.
To each their own.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 7/20/2008 1:23:35 PM >


_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to batshalom)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: I know... - 7/20/2008 1:17:44 PM   
Owner4SexSlave


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My views on people using the message boards, generally shifts a little over time.  The more I read or interact with people, the more I come to understand them, and their POVs.   Some people my opinion and view has changed greatly about over a year.

The thing is that interacting with somebody for a few days, weeks or couple of monthes even, does not cut it.   Not in terms of actually getting to know somebody.

It's damn near impossible for somebody to not have something of value to express at times here.  Even those that antagonize others make some real GEMS for posts at times.

If somebody is getting on my nerves, I realize that it's just for today or this week.  That things may or may not change in the future.   

I myself would rather have 100 critics compared to 100 people kissing my ass,  I'd rather hear somebody be brutally honest with me, compared to telling me a lot shit they think I want to hear.

Often it's the critics that we encounter in life, that make us stop and think about things.  Things that we might not otherwise be told by people being quiert because they are trying to spare our feelings.

Posting and interacting on a Message Board is a bit like engaging in mental S&M, and at times it's painful.  However, we can grow from that pain.

Nearly anybody who makes posts to the boards, is fully aware of the risks involved.   That you can fall quickly flat on your face.   You can sink or swim with other users quickly on one thread.

Plus, it all depends upon the moods of people at the time of making a post.  Not everybody is always in a good mood.

Some people do dish it out on the boards, for the sake on Entertainment or whatever else.   Still there is a conflict of difference.  The differences are a bit of a fact of life.   These differences are what make us unique and similar at the same time.

Well all have our own set of Quirks, Strengths, and weaknesses.

(in reply to Lumus)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: I know... - 7/20/2008 1:20:59 PM   
BitaTruble


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Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
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~FR~

Maybe it's because I'm distracted (today moreso than usual) but I'm absolutely clueless about what this OP has to do with General BDSM discussion. I see other folks have responded to it, yet those posts have not enlightened me. A little help here? No harm, no foul if I just don't get it. Wouldn't be the first post that went completely over my head and I'm sure it won't be the last.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Lumus)
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RE: I know... - 7/20/2008 1:26:06 PM   
ownedgirlie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

~FR~

Maybe it's because I'm distracted (today moreso than usual) but I'm absolutely clueless about what this OP has to do with General BDSM discussion. I see other folks have responded to it, yet those posts have not enlightened me. A little help here? No harm, no foul if I just don't get it. Wouldn't be the first post that went completely over my head and I'm sure it won't be the last.


I think it has to do with one's agenda or ultimate intent when provoking others in BDSM discussions, and if people who post are serious about discussions or if they are simply projecting their own frustrations and angers.  And the OP used his disapproval of another poster to relay his message. 

But I could be wrong.

You just go back to your Portuguese, honey.

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: I know... - 7/20/2008 1:26:53 PM   
RCdc


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Hello Celeste
 
Well, all the issues of the thread aside, I answered the thread how I read it - is about placing emotional responses on what people write because of their bias on them(good and bad).
But then, I could be wrong.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________


RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: I know... - 7/20/2008 1:28:28 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
But I could be wrong.



Meh.  Get outta my head sweet thang.(Said with all my bias)
Regards to Mr W.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________


RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: I know... - 7/20/2008 1:30:15 PM   
MzMia


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Girlie and Bita {Hola mis amigos!}, I am in the process of learning spanish!
Thanks for the prod!


...the dark. I agree with what you said.
I see a lot of personal bias here, based on people's opinions of the posters, and often having
little to do with the topic.
You are spot on,  my pretty.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 7/20/2008 1:36:50 PM >


_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: I know... - 7/20/2008 1:31:33 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie


You just go back to your Portuguese, honey.


Okay, Mommyship. Good idea.  Give me something to do while I wait for my next phone call from the girl child (or someone!)

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: I know... - 7/20/2008 1:31:37 PM   
ownedgirlie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
But I could be wrong.



Meh.  Get outta my head sweet thang.(Said with all my bias)
Regards to Mr W.
 
the.dark.

 
Hee hee...But I love being in your head.  It's so fun in there.  (and I love your bias...among other things, heh).

Regards to the wonderful Darcy. :)

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: I know... - 7/20/2008 2:01:31 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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All I know is, if there is a point, chances are I will miss it. 

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: I know... - 7/20/2008 2:52:16 PM   
MasterFireMaam


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From: Charleston, WV
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I share this because I feel it's true, not because I'm speaking for or against either person here. I haven't a clue what has happened.

What people say and how people act toward us has nothing to do with us and everything to do with them and their "stuff". How we react to that is all about our "stuff". We cannot control the actions and reactions of others, we can only control our own. When we realize our own triggers and focus on changing our own behaviors, we'll be much better equipt to let the actions and reactions of others slide by and get at the meaning of what they are saying. Sometimes meaning is masked by emotions, especially when we feel hurt or slighted.

People are not good or bad...their behavior is. This doesn't excuse their behavior, however, and we have the right to uphold our boundaries, or to have them removed from society if they are causing harm.

If both sides of the issue can take some deep breaths, really look at WHY they're reacting the way they are rather than simply reacting, take steps to change their behavior because they know the why, then be more committed to hearing and being heard in a non-confrontational way, society would be a lot better off. This is often hard to do, however. Perhaps next time will have much more congenial results from both sides?

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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(in reply to Lumus)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: I know... - 7/20/2008 2:54:49 PM   
tsatske


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From: Louisville, KY
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MasterFireMaam, I read your posts on two differant internet boards. As far as I know, you have never said you were an alkie, nor any other practiconer of the twelve steps, and I don't remeber your identifying youself as such on either of the profiles that I know of.
However, if you keep speaking with such clear logic and sense, people are going to come to that conclusion about you, none the less. Has to do with me and my stuff, actually, in that, since I am one, when I hear someone speak like that, i tend to think that they are one, too.

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: I know... - 7/20/2008 3:01:26 PM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline
quote:

Lumus, I probably misspelled your name on purpose and you are right, that is petty on my part and I apologize. 


Michael,
just wanted to say, i can at least partially empathise. My dear ex-Master has a wonderful new slave and wife in his life. I am very happy for him, she is a wonderful and dear woman and very good for him.
He and I remain friends. There are 1,000 or so miles between us, so I am not talking about having lunch on a weekly basis, but talking online, mostly. I should ask after his wife/slave more often than I do - but I can not remeber how her name is spelled. Sometimes I am convinced it is with a C, othertimes with a K. No matter how many times I verify that, I slip back to not remebering.
I am afraid if I misspell it it will make me look churlish, so I just ask something like, 'how are you and all your loved ones?' which probably makes me look just as churlish....

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: I know... - 7/20/2008 4:51:59 PM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline
Fast Reply

Here, i am a caricature of the person i am in real life, for good and ill, some aspects of me are overblown and others are greatly downplayed.  Though i'm sure there are others, i will give the few examples i can think of right now.

My social confidence here is much greater than in person, i generally latch onto those few that i am truly comfortable with and trust.  i generally don't speak up amongst strangers or casual aquaintances unless; again, i have some (usually Ma'am) who i feel safe around.  Out in the scene, if Ma'am must go elsewhere for any length of time; i need to be babysat so i don't get overwhelmed by the crowd.  i don't need my hand held when i go to the restroom and i can make my rounds of a club by myself;  but i'm not left alone for any significant time.

Online, i am far less tolerant of those people and types of people who hi find distasteful.  There are a couple of reasons for this.  First, i generally don't allow myself extended association with those who i do not like.  Also, because of my own past temper issues; i am far less confrontational in person; if only to avoid physically hurting others, or getting tossed in jail.  i don't often engage in real-life debates because the art of debate often seems lost.  Too often, people people choose to let the volume of their voice or aggressive gestures make their argument instead of using logic and reason.  When someone does so with me, it will trigger one of two reactions from me; i will walk away from the situation or, much more rarely, get angry myself.  As my anger does not have a middle ground, it is best to avoid the possibility.

i am, in my opinion, far much less of a SAM or brat in person; most definitely when in public with Ma'am.  Privately and in casual moments, we will have some back and forth joking and teasing; but far less so in public where i feel it may negatively reflect upon Her.  As She is far less active than i am here, there's little opportunity for such with Her on the forums here.  In forum activity with others; it boils down to "i am a submissive, but not yours".  Also, i take what goes on here much less seriously; ultimately, anyone i do not know in real life is little more than pixels on a screen; no matter how much i may like, respect or care for them.

This is not to say that i am a shrinking violet at all times, but those times when i am comfortable and can be myself in public are only in relatively specific situations.  i am getting better and have gained some social confidence, but i've still got a little ways to go.


_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to batshalom)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: I know... - 7/20/2008 5:24:27 PM   
GreedyTop


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From: Savannah, GA
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darch.. I so adore you :)

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Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to darchChylde)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: I know... - 7/20/2008 5:30:40 PM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
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From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

darch.. I so adore you :)


Huh?    i mean, you are an absolute sweetheart and i find great joy in the sentiment; but i was wondering what, if anything in particular, inspired such a thought.


_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: I know... - 7/20/2008 5:37:07 PM   
Prinsexx


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Joined: 8/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lumus

Actually, you might.  You might not.  Worst case scenario, you know enough to talk about it but not enough to understand it.

This is a basic concept for comprehension that applies here and just about everywhere else.  It's the fuel for all our lovely emotional-based opinions, rationalizations, beliefs, and graded facts.  It's a thought process, and therefore a tool [often used by folk to whom 'tool' may also apply, especially when we're angry].

An example: despite having SimplyMichael blocked, I saw a snip of a quote from him on a thread here recently.  In the snippet he says that "people project far more of their own dysfunction into a post than they realize".  Does Michael know what he's talking about, and if he does, does it apply to him as well?  Or is that me projecting?

I know Michael would call it projection on my part; I have never seen him apologize, and he likes to take jabs at me whenever he responds to my posts - never spelling my username correctly, for example.  My own opinion would be that Michael wants to antagonize for the sake of getting off on being able to get under the skin of others [and that's all it is, my opinion...decidedly not fact].  I base that conclusion on my experience with him; it doesn't mean I have his psyche mapped out, it doesn't mean I'm right.  So why go with that assumption, negative as it is?  For the same reason I suspect [and again, do not know] Michael provokes; it's my nature.  If I start questioning my own perceptions every time I have one, an academic exercise turns reality into a futility.

Knowledge isn't a bad thing.  It's an easily manipulated thing, and people invest in it based on their own viewpoints.  For those who read the above example, I am not and would not say SimplyMichael lacks any knowledge or credence - I expressed my opinion of him, which I am sure will draw some strong feelings out of a few people.  Commentary does that; it's the crib-notes version of knowledge, and frankly falls into the worst-case scenario mentioned in the opening of this post.  In other words, it's as serious as you want it to be.

So, how serious are you?  [That's rhetorical, but feel free to post a reply, as ye like.]





I like to make things personal. In this i have no choice.
I am a published writer, mother of three, psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, registered and insured here in the UK.
I am a visionary and a psychic.
I am a collared slave and proudly owned by Indigowolf, my soul mate, my lover, my friend. I met Him on Collarme.
I'm a woman in my brain and body and an identitcal twin. My star sign is Gemini. I am a Buddhist and a Christian and adhere to other inspirational and aspirational precepts of a higher self also. I play flute, do tassermancy, read tarot cards and exist between many realities sometimes comfortab;y and sometimes as if stuck between a rock and a hard place that those who do not know me personally sometimes have pushed me run to cover to protect myself.
But above all i am still in human form.
Simply Michael (as you name him), and a few others have persisitently insulted me here on the forums. They are usually those who have not personally met me.
I work with an approach in my professional work which i call the Intersubjectivity Approach. I did not invent the approach. But it is an approach that makes equal weight of my objectivity (in so far as there is such a thing) and my subjectivity (in as much as this is what remains of non-projective awareness).
I do not know why those who have never met me hurt and attack me here. I do ot know, although i can have an educated guess at why those who have met me have hurt me in an abusive way.
I do know why those who have hurt me in an erotic and arousig way. it is because it forms part of my sacred/profane reality.
Is that anywhere connected to what you are saying?
Light and love and blessing in abundance to you L and L.
Prin xx



_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to Lumus)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: I know... - 7/20/2008 5:37:28 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
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<fast reply>

quote:

So, how serious are you?


In terms of CM, not very. I spend most of my time in Random Stupidity, after all.

Perhaps when I've had more BDSM experience, I'll contribute to the hardcore threads.




_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to Lumus)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: I know... - 7/20/2008 5:53:21 PM   
Roselaure


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Although I've been heavily involved (A Mod even) on other message boards, I am fairly new to both CM and to the lifestyle in general.  Mostly I read avidly ( have learned tons here) and post only occasionally.  You can learn a great deal about some people from their posting style.  Me, perhaps not so much.  In writing I can come across as a bit of a tight assed know it all, and while I have my moments in real life, I tend to be a bit less annoying and a bit more likeable in person.  Sometimes people I relate to primarily online see this about me and sometimes they don't, I tend not to worry about it too much.

I must say I find many of the "Clash of the Titans" Dom battles on here both highly entertaining and most imformative. 

_____________________________

Once conform, once do what other people do because they do it, and lethargy steals over all the finer nerves and faculties of the soul.
-Virginia Woolf

(in reply to Lumus)
Profile   Post #: 40
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