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RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? - 7/22/2008 10:44:00 AM   
InsaenPleasures


Posts: 49
Joined: 4/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Lets calm down . Im not saying that your relationship won't or is'nt working. Im 100% for such a relationship working. There are always exceptions to the rules. In my opinon the majority of these type of relationships will not work because of the Dominate nature of the persons involved.  Thats why we have submissives and slaves.


My problem with this statement is two fold:

First it defines Dominants in a way that is limiting and limiting of expectations. Someone reading it might come to the conlusion that a D/D relationship is too hard and doomed to failure, when it is very likely such a relationship is no more doomed to failure than any other kind.

Second it limits me as a Dominant to essentially the behavior of non-sentient animals. Notice I do not say dumb, as wolves and lions are not dumb by any stretch, but they are ruled by their animal natures. Whether my sentience, my awareness of self comes from a god or some quirk of evolution, it allows me to be more than the sum of my parts. Genetics made me male, gave me brown eyes one of which is a lazy eye, gave me Dominant tendancies, and is partially responsible for the psychopathy I enjor to this day. However, it is my ability as a self aware animal to make changes if desirable and possible and expand those base definitions and characteristics.

Blanket statements about Humans only work because Humans will too often buy into blanket statements.  We do not often realize that we do not have to be defined by one person's ultimately limited experience, which is to say one person cannot experience everything and be everywhere and thus in that sense is limited.  I would venture to guess that there are many people not on this or any internent forum who are living the Dom/Dom life and doing so very successfully.

Edited for spellin'

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? - 7/22/2008 11:58:18 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I really think it depends on the people involved.  The dominant men I was with, it just couldn't work... but clearly there are couples that do make it work and work well.  With some couples one would insist on an alpha, but in others there would be no need for that dynamic.  Whatever works and makes people happy... I am all for!  I am sure I could work with the 'right' dominant man.  My life just isn't such that I think I could take on the things that could happen. lol  But the dynamic's are very nice.

(in reply to CruelDesires)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? - 7/22/2008 1:29:52 PM   
MidMichCowboy


Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Even with sexual monogamy in the primary relationship, it is entirely possible to have non sexual relationhips with submissives. 

My dear Lady, maybe for you, but when I see a lovely lady thrown back on the bed, after warming her lovely buns, a light sweat on her body ... she is going to get "taken". I guess I just have different interactions.

_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? - 7/22/2008 1:36:16 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MidMichCowboy


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Even with sexual monogamy in the primary relationship, it is entirely possible to have non sexual relationhips with submissives. 

My dear Lady, maybe for you, but when I see a lovely lady thrown back on the bed, after warming her lovely buns, a light sweat on her body ... she is going to get "taken". I guess I just have different interactions.


Hence the polyamory!  Though for me, I have no trouble giving the sub an orgasm and dashing home to mister!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to MidMichCowboy)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? - 7/22/2008 2:06:56 PM   
MizSexyVixen


Posts: 137
Joined: 6/6/2008
Status: offline 		Two alphas can make it work, though it's been my experience that both have to really want it. You have to start out being non-competitive and on the "same side."

I've learned, whenever one of us starts "jockeying for power/position" we're just too competitive. We can be great friends. Relationship wise it ain't worth it.

As always -- JMO





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(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? - 7/22/2008 3:17:14 PM   
JANAAZ1


Posts: 43
Joined: 4/29/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CruelDesires

Or maybe, just maybe... a dominant female finds someone that she is attracted to and admires and trusts enough to share the power with. Not everyone fits in everyones else's box.. nor should they try.

CD



I absolutely agree with you, CruelDesires...I have had a hard time finding my niche in this lifestyle. I am most definetly Submissive to a man sexually, and, yet , I have a definite dominant side as well. I do not see myself as a switch, tho. I have no desire whatsoever to be in the sexually dominant role. A man I was seeing WANTED me to . My heart simply wasn;'t in it.. And, I too, have found it a challenge to find a Dominant man that is ok with my tendencies..but, you hit the hammer on the nail when you said that not everyone fits into everyone elses' box and nor should they try......you have amazing insight.......

(in reply to CruelDesires)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? - 7/22/2008 4:43:27 PM   
LadyLynx


Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		not a Dominant here, but if I were, I'd have to say no, I couldn't have a Mono relationship with another Dominant.

If he were a Dominant switch, now that is a horse of a different color!

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to JANAAZ1)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? - 7/22/2008 9:49:34 PM   
sethfindlay


Posts: 1
Joined: 7/7/2008
Status: offline 		First time posting, but this one caught my eye. I am definitely looking for a dominant woman. I'd like a woman to be able to share the joys and depths of sadism and humiliation with. The emotions I share with a sub can be powerful and amazing, but they won't ever be the same as with another dominant. The sub is the focus of all the sadism, but I'd also like someone to share and enjoy it with.

-Seth

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? - 7/22/2008 10:40:25 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

Hello MFM, I wonder how many Dominant couples stay together,
wihen neither partner is a switch, and without an additional  submissive
or slave?


I don't see how a Dominant Couple could really be fulfilled if there were no slaves in the picture. I wouldn't be happy.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? - 7/23/2008 7:00:37 AM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

Hello MFM, I wonder how many Dominant couples stay together,
wihen neither partner is a switch, and without an additional  submissive
or slave?


I don't see how a Dominant Couple could really be fulfilled if there were no slaves in the picture. I wouldn't be happy.

Master Fire



Master Fire, I was thinking the same thing initally.
But we have several couples here, in which both partners are Dominant and they
are not poly.
I have found this very interesting, and it has given me a lot to ponder.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? - 7/23/2008 9:45:37 AM   
DomDolf


Posts: 363
Joined: 7/11/2008
Status: offline 		On the topic of Dominant men being interested in Dominant women, I could see me enjoying the company of a Dominant woman if she was to scene with me. But I would be the Dominant/Top. If she was seeking more, I would have to hear how deep down she is a submissive but she finds it easier to dominate men then to be dominated by them and she has not met the right one. I would then begin to evaluate those statements. That scenario could be very enticing. Many professional dominant women are submissives and that situation would not bother me in the least.

On the topic of submission without sexual intercourse or receiving sexual contact, I enjoy very much in playing with submissives and not having sex with them. Some beg for sex, which only increases my enjoyment in denying them. Scening for me is more often non-sexual then sexual. If I am going to have sex and decide to scene a bit then I will have sex during or after a scene, but if I decide to scene first the likelihood of sex is very very slim.

Dolf

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? - 7/23/2008 10:50:36 AM   
SweetNika


Posts: 955
Joined: 4/19/2008
From: Forest Hills, Maryland
Status: offline 		I am involved with a man who is half of a dominant couple. They see each other as equals, as partners. There is no power struggle, there is alot of communication alot of work involved and obviously for them they seek out submissives to bring into their realtionship either jointly or seperately.
 
Even for me, I am not submissive towards woman so his partner and I have agreed that her and I are not domme and submissive but 2 women, equals who respect one another. In the end we are all human and like any relationship they wont all work, but I don't think the "label" people put on themselves should be the determining factor.



_____________________________

Blessed be,
Nika


(in reply to DomDolf)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? - 7/23/2008 2:13:31 PM   
Pair4play


Posts: 14
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Long term? Yes. Monogamous? That's not in my nature.

Of course "long term" may be all relative with someone who's listed age is 98. ;)

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? - 7/23/2008 2:37:51 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Would she have to submit to me? Well, I would "take" her (remember, I'm a barbarian). I wouldn't mind if she scratched and bit, but I would take her. I would never submit.


quote:

My dear Lady, maybe for you, but when I see a lovely lady thrown back on the bed, after warming her lovely buns, a light sweat on her body ... she is going to get "taken".


quote:

ORIGINAL: MidMichCowboy

I am a barbarian in this place because I am not understood


~gulp~ I'm pretty sure I understand...

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? - 7/23/2008 10:33:13 PM   
DMFParadox


Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline 		Yeah, I'd go for a dominant woman.  On my own, in the club or the workplace or wherever I meet women face-to-face, I make a beeline for the alpha female without even realizing it.  The alpha female tends to be more effective cockblocking if she's not happy, whereas the betas can whine all they want and they get ignored.  But still, I don't strategize like that when it's live and there's no time to think, I just go for the loudest chick and out-loud her, make it fun, keep things moving; it tends to work.  At that point, I only end up with a beta if the alpha's already taken; last time that happened was last year.

Although 'Alpha' doesn't always correlate with 'Dominant', it happens enough that I'm willing to assume usually.

Online I'm MUCH more likely to take on sub females, because... well, despite the paragraph above I don't actually like to talk too much.  But I do like to type.  So I'm more aggressive.  I prefer that, because I have a low-key level when I'm relaxed, which tends to send the wrong signal to a truly dominant woman; when I'm with friends or whatever and I'm relaxed, I sit back and play audience usually.  I don't make firm statements and I don't dictate events, unless for some reason I really need to.  So I've had some women assume that I'm easily pushed, and I hate it when I have to correct that belief... the fallout is sometimes very bad.  Which makes those relationships more like ships passing...

If there's an understanding in place already that certain lines are not to be crossed... a commanding tone of voice, an assumed obedience, an implied control...  I enjoy the company of a dominant female immensely.  I love passionate, aggressive, fascinated-with-life women, that want to do things and go places and aren't shy about talking about it, about thinking how it might be done, the little things, and don't have fear of failure or of the unknown, and that sometimes seems hard to find in a submissive.

< Message edited by DMFParadox -- 7/23/2008 10:38:39 PM >

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to subtee)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Dominant men that desire Dominant women? - 7/24/2008 7:33:01 AM   
MidMichCowboy


Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

quote:

ORIGINAL: MidMichCowboy

I am a barbarian in this place because I am not understood

~gulp~ I'm pretty sure I understand...


and ???  

_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to subtee)
Profile   Post #: 76
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