Can they really call themselves a Dom?

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Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/22/2008 7:59:15 AM

Daddyyouwantme

Posts: 11
Joined: 6/16/2008
Status: offline

I get alot of male doms emailing me and I push their limts verbally just to see if they are for real. I verbally abuse them and they still come back for more and still want to be with me. I think a real dom/master would of left a long time ago. Your thoughts please.

Post #: 1

RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/22/2008 8:01:22 AM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
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You are a cute woman, and and hng will tolerate a lot to get into your pants.

A master will be more interested in getting into your head.

What is it that sets off the negative reactions in you?

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RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/22/2008 8:03:14 AM

subtee

Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
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A "real" Dom/Master? Can we then presume that a "real" sub/slave wouldn't be so manipulative?

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RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/22/2008 8:06:53 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddyyouwantme

I get alot of male doms emailing me and I push their limts verbally just to see if they are for real. I verbally abuse them and they still come back for more and still want to be with me. I think a real dom/master would of left a long time ago. Your thoughts please.

That your behaviour is pretty childish and immature.
And you will get what you give.

the.dark.

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Post #: 4

RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/22/2008 8:09:57 AM

restlessdreamer

Posts: 60
Joined: 3/19/2007
Status: offline

I think that the question could just as easily be turned around on you. And I don't mean that in a flippant sarcastic way. If you are being verbally abusive, are you any less submissive behind it all?

Maybe they keep coming back because they like the conflict? Some men like a 'challenge' and that's their way of 'getting into your head' as Leatherist put it.

Isn't there a more positive effort you could choose to test a Dom? Do Dom's really have to be tested? Have you considered that you are defeating yourself and your goals because the 'real' Dom will walk away and have nothing to do with you?

Just some initial thoughts from me that your post invoked.

To answer your question for myself, however, I wouldn't see a man 'coming back' after putting up with my bullshit as any less of a Dom than the other Dominant fellow. Someone that's willing to take the time and 'spar' with me reassures me to some extent that I will be accepted in all my ugly moments and the beautiful ones too.

It's when the line is drawn and that nasty behavior is no longer accepted that I really take interest. -Grin-

Edited to add: I don't think I am verbally abusive, and I really hope that I never am, but we all have our moments. I like to be 'witty', though that may sometimes come off as bratty to some, which I guess could be considered verbally abusive to a degree in some instances.

Just wanted to clear that up for myself.

< Message edited by restlessdreamer -- 7/22/2008 8:13:20 AM >

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 5

RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/22/2008 8:19:22 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddyyouwantme
I get alot of male doms emailing me and I push their limts verbally just to see if they are for real. I verbally abuse them and they still come back for more and still want to be with me. I think a real dom/master would of left a long time ago. Your thoughts please.

Well, I think you're right... a real dom wouldn't be interested in this sort of a game and so would've blocked you immediately. Without getting judgemental, the obvious question is why would you want to be left with just the wannabe doms? By your own assessment, your strategy is guaranteed to weed out what you called the "real dom/master". This seems like a counter-productive strategy to me.

Just so you're clear (and not that I'm shopping), not only would such a play make me write you off, it'd be permanent. There'd be no "makeup email" where you told me that you were just testing me. I'd read that and nod and say to myself, "Yeah, I got that. Testing your partner is always a bad strategy so whether or not your submissive, you have insufficient relationship skills at this point to have a real relationship." Rightly or wrongly, that's what would be in my head.

Hope that helps

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(in reply to Daddyyouwantme)

Post #: 6

RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/22/2008 8:21:24 AM

plushiecat

Posts: 109
Joined: 12/18/2005
Status: offline

Why would you WANT to abuse someone who is just saying hello? You are pushing away a great many that may be a good choice. As has been pointed out, that is childish, and I'm adding rude as well. Did they give you reason to push them? Were they somehow rude to you? No? Stop being a jerk, and leave a polite 'no thank you' instead of being a brat.

(in reply to Daddyyouwantme)

Post #: 7

RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/22/2008 8:44:56 AM

seababy

Posts: 845
Joined: 6/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddyyouwantme

I get alot of male doms emailing me and I push their limts verbally just to see if they are for real. I verbally abuse them and they still come back for more and still want to be with me. I think a real dom/master would of left a long time ago. Your thoughts please.

Yup I cant understand your logic there.

So your rude, so that any Dom with self respect will think your just a mouthy SAM with no social skills and move on.

If you want to save yourself time just post in this thread a generic insult to all Dominants.
That way you can offend everyone and save all that back and forth tiresome mail.

Once you have weeded out all the genuine Dominants you can purely concentrate on all the peeps that are willing to sacrifice self respect and play /Dom/Sub/Switch/Watermelon with you on the off chance they get to screw you or at least get some nekked pics.

In no time Im sure you could be wearing the collar of "SlutMasterDominantorLordoftheUniverselolz"

By the way ..Great bod and welcome to CM.

(in reply to Daddyyouwantme)

Post #: 8

RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/22/2008 8:55:38 AM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

Interesting.

Op, what happens when you find the "Dom" who doesn't put up with your shit and instead shows you just how Big and Bad he can be by doing his greatest impression of SlaveMaster and introducing you to a 55 Gallon Drum?

Look I can put up with a lot of shit and do at times because I feel that it is a defense mechinism however the second I find out that they are doing to see how far they can go I find I am far less tolerant of it.

In my opinion you are looking for something that when you find it you have to ask yourself if you would even want it. You verbally abuse a Man who doesn't leave and he is a whimp, you verbally abuse a Man who does leave and you are smitten with somone who doesn't want your lippy ass.

So this is all just a game to you? Why in the hell would anyone Master, Dom, Vanilla, Swing Dick want to be with anyone who treats thier courtship like a game?

The truth of the matter is you show that in order to even get close enough to get to know the REAL you, I'm gunna have to put up with all that crap no offense but that makes you about as desirable as roadkill.

You can have the nicest Tits and an Onion Ass and if you act like a Bitch or behave in a fashion that I find detestable such as you state in your OP then you might as well be invisible to me cause I wouldn't spare a drop of piss if your eyebrows were on fire.

I think you should grow up a little and stop treating people like toys. Or change your orientation to Mistress or Domme and let all the men know you don't respect them at least then everyone knows what to expect.

Steel

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(in reply to seababy)

Post #: 9

RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/22/2008 8:55:59 AM

SirMIkeSD

Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline

I would right you and not waste my time with you if I had any interest in you in the first place.

Mike

(in reply to seababy)

Post #: 10

RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/22/2008 9:40:23 AM

Owner4SexSlave

Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

How are you trying to push these limits verbally? Just because somebody does not get all pissed off at you, in many ways means you did not get the best of them. Basically, you did not really push thier limits. If somebody still maintains contol of themself after be pushed, how is that a bad thing?

Your verbal abuse can simply be taken as mental S&M play, or make you more attractive to them. Basically where they will desire to want you more, so they can break your ass in. lol..

Hell, if I know exactly what is going on here with the people you are interacting with.

In my opinion you're basically playing games, like a lot of other people are. It cracks me up the people trying to play D/s with each other that are not involved with one another.

Think I Love subtee's post on this thread so far...

(in reply to Daddyyouwantme)

Post #: 11

RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/22/2008 10:16:44 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

So you don't want to meet anyone? Because anyone you would like to be with would have dropped you like a hot potato long ago? How's that working for you?

Beyond that, testing limits is natural in an early d/s relationship. Feeling afraid and acting irrationally, like you being abusive to the very people you want to submit to, is pretty common. They probably aren't paying any attention to it since it doesn't mean anything until after you meet. At which point, should you find yourself on your knees in a deserted parking lot, it won't be a problem anymore.

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Post #: 12

RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/22/2008 10:29:04 AM

CruelDesires

Posts: 824
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Can they really call themselves a Dom?

They can call themselves whatever they want. Why do you care?

CD

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(in reply to Daddyyouwantme)

Post #: 13

RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/22/2008 11:00:51 AM

InsaenPleasures

Posts: 49
Joined: 4/27/2008
Status: offline

I will not answer the OP question directly nor pile on my opinion other than to say: you may want to adjust your approach or figure exactly what kind of D/s relationship you truly seek.

(in reply to CruelDesires)

Post #: 14

RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/22/2008 11:10:21 AM

TwoNYCDommes

Posts: 237
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddyyouwantme
I verbally abuse them and they still come back for more and still want to be with me. I think a real dom/master would of left a long time ago.

You've deliberately chosen a strategy that will cause the type of person you are seeking to lose interest?

(in reply to Daddyyouwantme)

Post #: 15

RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/22/2008 11:16:11 AM

apiercedkitty

Posts: 569
Joined: 2/22/2007
From: Michigan
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddyyouwantme

I get alot of male doms emailing me and I push their limts verbally just to see if they are for real. I verbally abuse them and they still come back for more and still want to be with me. I think a real dom/master would of left a long time ago. Your thoughts please.

Personally, i think the highlighted words are of utmost importance. "Be with me" makes it sound to me as if they see (and this is info directly off your profile) a 20 year old bisexual woman who's 5'6 and 120# and want a piece of that. Doesn't necessarily mean they're looking for a lot of meaningful conversation anyway. Ok... directly out of your journal...
"no hes not my master/daddy yet justfor the weekend"
So, while i do agree with most of the posts... i just thought i'd shed a different spin on it. Looks like they're letting you push them cuz all their looking for is a weekend of fun. They're still probably looking seriously - just not at you anymore.

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Post #: 16

RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/22/2008 11:24:45 AM

Viridana

Posts: 754
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddyyouwantme
Can they really call themselves a dom?

"Dom" is not a legal occupational title so anyone who feels like calling themselves such can do just that.
Just like you and anyone can call themselves "sub" or "slave" even if their choice of behaviour, doesn't fit into other people's category of said terms.

(in reply to Daddyyouwantme)

Post #: 17

RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/22/2008 11:36:44 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

verbally abuse them to see if they're "real"?

yeah that's truly a good way to weed out the fakes and wannabes from your dream dominant. i should try that next time - not!

good luck with that.

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Post #: 18

RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/22/2008 11:37:35 AM

SlaveOwnerDave

Posts: 113
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Petaluma, CA
Status: offline

My take is similar to that of SteelofUtah.

In the beginning, I will merely listen to what you say. If what you say has value for Me in it somewhere, then I will continue to listen.

If you are giving Me a load of verbal abuse---as you say you do---then I will click "BLOCK", and forget you altogether. It would be My evaluation there is nothing of any use to Me in you.

Let Me be clear: I am one hundred percent Dominant. I am Master all the way through. I am a zero-tolerance Man. If I cannot see your having any value to Me, then I will throw you out with the rest of the bathwater.

When I message someone, I send the message, then click "HIDE". The reason is: If the person has not got the guts or interest to message Me in return, then that person is valueless to Me. When I do a search, that person---and there are many of them by now!---is never seen by Me.

Please be aware phony folks: I do not miss you! By the next day, only My "sent" box remembers you! This is as I like it.

I treat slaves well. THEY have value!

Yes, to emphasize this point, this IS how I think! Get over it!

Sincerely,
Master David Goodmen

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(in reply to SteelofUtah)

Post #: 19

RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/22/2008 12:24:53 PM

OldBastardly1

Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline

This is one of the many reasons that I would not seek an involvement with a "youngster". No matter how good the sex *might* be, sooner or later they are going to attempt a conversation.

Good post SteelofUtah.

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Post #: 20

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