Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Can they really call themselves Doms?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Can they really call themselves Doms? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Can they really call themselves Doms? - 7/23/2008 10:28:24 AM   
pennygurl


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/18/2007
Status: offline
perhaps our opening poster is simply using her brattiness as a filter of sorts.  perhaps the characteristic she values most in a gentleman is his verbal and mental agility.  perhaps she is deluged with random emails from HNG's who can not string a complete sentence together if their lives depended upon it, and she is simply mirroring the communication style she receives from these many admirers. 

because don't we all use a filtering mechanism of sorts, to wander thru the profiles here at CM?  and if our opening poster brings her SAM qualities into a relationship, perhaps it is best for her to alert potential suitors right from the beginning as to the tone of the future relationship.  and to tell you the truth, there are certain types of gentlemen who actually enjoy verbal and physical feedback from their partner, just as there are others who would prefer their submissive to simply "take it" without "fussing". 

and perhaps she simply needs to re-write her profile so she attracts the type of gentleman she prefers, rather than having to go to all the effort of telling people "no ! ".  wasn't there some famous quote about doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results?

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/23/2008 10:37:23 AM   
Pair4play


Posts: 14
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		I can understand wanting to test the validity of someone's claims. Nothing is more of a turn-off for me, though, than rudeness. Of course, in your scenario, my response would simply to have been to admonish your poor behavior and leave. You don't kick a dog  then hold out a treat to see if it will come to you.

I'd suggest finding other ways to gauge a prospective dom's compatibility with you.

(in reply to Daddyyouwantme)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Can they really call themselves Doms? - 7/23/2008 10:50:31 AM   
DomDolf


Posts: 363
Joined: 7/11/2008
Status: offline 		pennygurl,

Maybe she needs to not write anyone she feels a need to "verbally abuse."  There is NO excuse for disrespect. If you feel you must disrespect than you should refrain from communicating with a person. Does the OP's post sound like it came from a responsible, mature and respectful person? I am not saying she is not any or all of those things, but the post smells of a lack of any of them. And of course, until I know a person personally I cannot say what they are or are not with any assuredness. But I am still left with first impressions.

Though I am sure you know this I am also sure some do not. The quote is by Albert Einstein- Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Dolf

< Message edited by DomDolf -- 7/23/2008 10:56:18 AM >

(in reply to pennygurl)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/23/2008 10:56:32 PM   
SurrenderForMe


Posts: 229
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		You are right, verbal abuse would drive them away.

Have you considered that your technique is opposed to your purpose?  Or are you not looking? 

Just curious, would you want someone you contacted to disrespect you at the start?

(in reply to Daddyyouwantme)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/24/2008 3:30:07 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		I tryed to manupliate subtee but she keeps slaping my hands. Now if I find out who gave her that dammed ruler.

(in reply to SurrenderForMe)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/24/2008 4:21:08 AM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline
quote:

I get alot of male doms emailing me and I push their limts verbally just to see if they are for real. I verbally abuse them and they still come back for more and still want to be with me. I think a real dom/master would of left a long time ago. Your thoughts please.

I'm thinking.....




_____________________________



(in reply to Daddyyouwantme)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/24/2008 4:31:59 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddyyouwantme
I get alot of male doms emailing me and I push their limts verbally just to see if they are for real. I verbally abuse them and they still come back for more and still want to be with me. I think a real dom/master would of left a long time ago. Your thoughts please.

I agree... bye bye brat. 

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to Daddyyouwantme)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Can they really call themselves Doms? - 7/24/2008 10:41:43 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pennygurl


perhaps our opening poster is simply using her brattiness as a filter of sorts.  perhaps the characteristic she values most in a gentleman is his verbal and mental agility.  perhaps she is deluged with random emails from HNG's who can not string a complete sentence together if their lives depended upon it, and she is simply mirroring the communication style she receives from these many admirers. 




She couldn't have said it better herself.
Trust me.

(methinks you give a bit too much credit to teh trolls...)

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to pennygurl)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/24/2008 10:43:16 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

quote:

I get alot of male doms emailing me and I push their limts verbally just to see if they are for real. I verbally abuse them and they still come back for more and still want to be with me. I think a real dom/master would of left a long time ago. Your thoughts please.

I'm thinking.....





I was gonna post that last night. *lol* I guess I got distracted.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to celticlord2112)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/24/2008 11:11:12 AM   
purelea2003


Posts: 78
Joined: 12/12/2005
Status: offline 		To intentionally bait a sadist is foolishness.

_____________________________

Ms Leah

"There are two ways of exerting one's strength: one is pushing down, the other is pulling up." - Booker T Washington

(in reply to Daddyyouwantme)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/24/2008 11:16:30 AM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: purelea2003

To intentionally bait a sadist is foolishness.


It IS?! OMG!! NOW  you tell me!!!

foolish foolish me!!

juliet

edited to add that I should have read the entire thread...it was just that baiting sadists thing that caught my eye. I don't know if it's baiting per se, but I do so like talking about things that I KNOW he's going to use against me...and what's worse(best) is that I actually elaborate on them...

And all the while, all I can think of is that old Bill Cosby schtick where his father tells him to go get something to beat him with...and how it never failed, his brother would go "rip up a tree" and bring it back to his father.

But anyway, with regard to the original post - now that I've actually read it... while I don't insult and all that, I HAVE set up situations where I've been able to see the potential dominant's "staying power" on a decision he's made in order to cull the wheat from the chaff. If I could convince that person to change his mind - and even more fun - change it back again..then I wanted no part of him.

When I met my Master, I did indeed "bait the sadist." I told him what I do and how I do it and what I look for and what are turn offs. The end result of that was that on the day he limited my efforts to masturbate, that was the last time he's ever given permission when not in his presence...and we're very near now to the 6 year mark. Every single time I ask - he laughs and says no. Once when I complained, he reminded me of my conversation regarding my ability to change minds....

But I've never thought this was foolishness. I got exactly what I wanted. A man who is decisive and has the staying power as well as the intelligence to recognize what I am doing and not cave.

ok... NOW I'm done.

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 7/24/2008 11:24:59 AM >

(in reply to purelea2003)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/24/2008 11:57:35 AM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

I tryed to manupliate subtee but she keeps slaping my hands. Now if I find out who gave her that dammed ruler.


Darling, Ray, I'd never slap your hands. I'm just batting my eyelashes.

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/24/2008 12:05:41 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		Considering that her profile already states pretty clearly that she is getting no lack of real life attention-I would just think the girl is responding in kind to the sort of puffed up asshats that flood this place.
 
 I guess the main issue is why they keep coming back for more when she slaps them?
 
Because they aren't doms. They are fools, and have probably earned the treatment she gives them. And they come back because of three reasons.
 
 Arrogance.
 
Stupidity.
 
Low self esteem. No man with any pride lets someone shit on him repeatedly-and comes back for more of the same.
 
Or any combination of the above.
 
 

< Message edited by Leatherist -- 7/24/2008 12:06:32 PM >

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to Daddyyouwantme)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/24/2008 9:08:13 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline 		http://www.collarchat.com/m_2002573/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#2002573
Jus sayin


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/24/2008 9:21:15 PM   
Surrenderwithin


Posts: 368
Joined: 10/8/2006
Status: offline 		 
We often hear about how a Dom doesn't have the right to expect submission until we give it to them.... Do we have the right to expect Dominance that they have not given? What is the difference?


(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/24/2008 9:23:23 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Surrenderwithin


We often hear about how a Dom doesn't have the right to expect submission until we give it to them.... Do we have the right to expect Dominance that they have not given? What is the difference?




Not really. Someone needs to be worth the effort.

Which is why I always laugh at "the gift of drama and hoop jumping"

Umm....thank you very much, I'll pass-Hey, do I get fries with that?

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to Surrenderwithin)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/24/2008 9:46:57 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

Not really. Someone needs to be worth the effort.
Which is why I always laugh at "the gift of drama and hoop jumping"

Agreed. I don't see the point of the OP's "strategy". If I'm interested enough to reply to an initial mail (which I pretty much only do if there is an indication that my profile was actually read, or if it is from someone on the forums), then I'm interested enough to want to get to know the person. Subjecting them to some verbally abusive obstacle course would be counter-productive, as it would only "weed out" those genuine enough to have no interest in a mouthy, drama loving SAM.
JMHO, of course.   


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/24/2008 9:52:38 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

quote:

Not really. Someone needs to be worth the effort.
Which is why I always laugh at "the gift of drama and hoop jumping"

Agreed. I don't see the point of the OP's "strategy". If I'm interested enough to reply to an initial mail (which I pretty much only do if there is an indication that my profile was actually read, or if it is from someone on the forums), then I'm interested enough to want to get to know the person. Subjecting them to some verbally abusive obstacle course would be counter-productive, as it would only "weed out" those genuine enough to have no interest in a mouthy, drama loving SAM.
JMHO, of course.   



At the same time, it can often be used as a method to draw someone out. As in,  having had bad experiences with people in the past with anger management issues. Which might be a valid point to explore-when you have extreme control fantasies.

It's probably a very BAD idea to put your life in the hands of someone who may freak out and do something insane by having some hidden trigger tripped. Better to weed that out while you can still keep it at a distance.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/24/2008 10:09:54 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline 		Perhaps, but I still see it as "throwing out the baby with the bathwater". As the Op does, I would wonder about a Dom that I could shit on repeatedly who kept coming back for more. Eh, just me, I guess. 

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Can they really call themselves a Dom? - 7/24/2008 10:17:25 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

Perhaps, but I still see it as "throwing out the baby with the bathwater". As the Op does, I would wonder about a Dom that I could shit on repeatedly who kept coming back for more. Eh, just me, I guess. 


But I can imagine the fun it would be to piss of a "twue master" to see what he was made of.

Especially when you suspected he just might be a kid playing games.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 60
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Can they really call themselves Doms? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094