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RE: I need help with a safe word - 11/15/2005 3:16:39 PM   
KittenWithaTwist


Posts: 490
Joined: 8/3/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: KittenWithaTwist


quote:

The traffic light system is a good one, coz sometimes, its not that you want to stop play, but maybe your hand is going numb from a restraint, and just needs a minor adjustment before play can continue. A numb hand is a indication that the blood supply is obstructed. Now your new Dom, hows he gonna know that? He cant feel your obstructed blood flow for you.


See, when this happens to me, I don't use a safeword. Instead I'll say, "Master, could you please adjust my straps? My hands are going all funny." And, being the fantastic dom that he is, he'll stop and adjust me so that my hand stops being weird. Then, we'll resume play.


When we play, I get so far out there that coherency isn't always possible. RED and YELLOW are two words that my brain can grasp and I can speak clearly.

In the case of playing with gags, what you're talking about isn't possible without removing the gag.


With a gag, no words are possible, be they "red", "yellow" or "ow I just got a cramp in my butt muscle". When using a gag in our play, I am told to make "unnatural" signals with my hands that are easily recognized, such as a peace sign, a head banger/rock-out sign (index and pinky raised, in a y), or the ASL "Y" signal (thumb and pinky raised, in a "y"). It usually makes no difference which sign I use, because play has to stop to pull out the gag and ask what's wrong.

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(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: I need help with a safe word - 11/15/2005 4:07:29 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
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i just thought of something else i could offer this topic and is perhaps why i have never safeworded during physical play. My Master is pretty much deaf, so in an intense scene, some words may sound very similar to him. Probably becasue He is deaf, he has become a Master at body language, facial expressions etc and has taken the time to know me that way. So he reads me and me having to safeword becomes obsolete for me.

(in reply to KittenWithaTwist)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: I need help with a safe word - 11/15/2005 8:49:13 PM   
jamesthehumanrug


Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
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greetings, lesin need, of
a soft spot ,with me is safe words(it can be used ,by either party) ,only time i used them is ,when i made them, up, with my mistress who was ,of course very important ,to me ,and, the love, of my life ,and ,since i had no limits, and, she was being threatened ;she said ,if i say this word; it means rescue me ,or run, to the fbi ,and, get help ,and, another said, if i say this word; it means ;they carried ,out the snuf-threat ,and, i'm dead, if you don't rescue me....,so
make sure you brief each ,other what the word,not un- like "superfragilisticespialadocious" means,
and ,is
....especially ,if you are, in public, and, it has, to be discreetly said; you must recall ,
not ,only the word itself
which can't be common, but ,common, enuff, to be used, so no-one else will know (IE: THE COLOR ORANGE, OR YELLOW-MAZE,OR 'RADIATOR',only AS, IN THE ANTIQUE JUNKS YOU SEE ,IN VERY OLD BUILDINGS USED ,FOR HEATING),so ,
if she does use it ,
and, then makes an issue, out ,of it ,and, keeps mentioning it all day -ie: "radiator this" ;"radiator ,that,".... and,you trip,over one going home,or she dumps one ,on your, front lawn....you'll know, just DON'T ,FORGET!!!!!!!!!!
....,and, you know;once you commit ,to a "safe word ",by necessity, and ,for what ever reason ,and,
you are briefed;there's a special word ,between us,and ,it means this slave.....
i really don't think there's ever a change, or a cut-,off time;
not once you learned the safe-word, and,
make the decision ,to "promise ,to respond",
or have, that special-word,.together ....,and, i promise you ....
it will drive you nuts
,if, "another person"
(no one knows how....)
frantically signals you ,with, that same very "special word",that you are sure, of,now ,that you've made ,up,that very special important;-word......,but ,
none the less: you are ,now being signaled
,by ,another ,
that you may ,not even recognize....,and,
i'm pretty sure;i think it still means the same thing-
nonetheless...;
and,sometimes; i did'nt respond, cause it was'nt her?!,
or it was years later, and, sure, enuff:
i should have responded ,as i was originally told;
even ,if there were many possibilities keeping me, from responding ,to our word like:
i thot she left ,and ,told ,this one , to goof ,on me
or ,maybe,this one killed her???
,or
this one signaling me wants ,to make me look really nuts, now
,or, she ,only wants, to make me run ,to the fbi ,drag her there,and ,then she says " i don't know what you're talking ,about!, "
so i look nuts ,to the fbi,
and they never have ,to listen ,to me ,again.
. ...,but, in the end ;
you HAVE ,TO TAKE A "SAFE-WORD",between a top ,and, bottom VERY very SERIOUS
,because ,in the end ,and, in all cases, that secret word
meant the same ,as the day it was conceived,

at least, that's my magnifigant exsperience,to date,only ....
now every time; i ever even hear any ,of those special words mentioned ,again; i end ,up mumbling, to myself.

< Message edited by jamesthehumanrug -- 11/15/2005 9:30:38 PM >


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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: I need help with a safe word - 11/16/2005 7:14:59 PM   
WickedKev


Posts: 305
Joined: 11/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KittenWithaTwist


quote:

The traffic light system is a good one, coz sometimes, its not that you want to stop play, but maybe your hand is going numb from a restraint, and just needs a minor adjustment before play can continue. A numb hand is a indication that the blood supply is obstructed. Now your new Dom, hows he gonna know that? He cant feel your obstructed blood flow for you.


See, when this happens to me, I don't use a safeword. Instead I'll say, "Master, could you please adjust my straps? My hands are going all funny." And, being the fantastic dom that he is, he'll stop and adjust me so that my hand stops being weird. Then, we'll resume play.


I agree with you, if my slave is having cramp or something is amiss she'll tell me but then her body language will tell me somethings wrong before she does. As for playing with someone whose body language I don't know, I still refuse to use the traffic light system for me it is letting the sub/bottom dictate the play. I have a rubber ball that has a little model of a black mamba snake in it. I call it (surprise surprise) the snake ball. I tell them to hold on tight to this ball for if they drop it, play immediatly stops and will not start up again even if they drop it accidently and to be careful for it bites. No one has ever dropped the ball....

< Message edited by WickedKev -- 11/16/2005 7:19:02 PM >


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can make you commit atrocities.
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(in reply to KittenWithaTwist)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: I need help with a safe word - 11/17/2005 12:41:58 PM   
sixseven


Posts: 7
Joined: 11/13/2005
Status: offline
i completely agree and after only a few weeks with Master, He recognised signals of my discomfort etc. It i am tied tightly He will check my extremities to make sure the circulation is still ok...and if there is a problem He can tell by my hand or foot gestures whether there is cramp or pins and needles starting..
i have recently become 24/7 and now things are being stepped up a notch or two Master now allows me to call "time out", until the feeling comes back into my hands say, or to slow down a little with a flogging until i'm ready to continue
Again i've rarely used it, though He will stop at times and offer me "time out"..just to let me decide whether i can take any more, and helping Him understand how far to stretch my limits too

(in reply to HeavenlyCeleste)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: I need help with a safe word - 11/18/2005 8:05:48 PM   
orfunboi


Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
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Almost all of the parties i have ever attended use red-yellow-green

green is - everything is great i love it
yellow - stop what your doing, but don't end the scene and
red - stop the scene

whatever you use, make sure your partner understands what you mean...communication is key in any relationship

(in reply to inneedoflez)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: I need help with a safe word - 11/19/2005 5:49:09 AM   
ProtagonistLily


Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I am going to be moving in and living with my Master 24/7 at the begning of the year.

on the occasion that I feel I need a safe word....well I don't have one. I cannot think of a single "good" one.

Would you be willing to help me. So far I have come up with, Purple Oranges( makes you stop and think), and coahuila ( also makes me stop to think).

What makes a safe word a safe word, and how do you pick one thats right for you?

I will only be allowed to use this word for 3 months untill I am completly comfortable with Master.
Thanks for your help,
In Need


Stop! has always worked very well for me.

Lily

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
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(in reply to inneedoflez)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: I need help with a safe word - 11/19/2005 12:27:17 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

We use yellow and red, as well. I explain the need for safewords and safe symbols as this: Who is gonna know if I have a Charley Horse first, me or him?

LOL That's for sure...I once got a cramp while tied...Damn if I could even remember the word "red". I just screamed "CRAMP!".

Never seen a man move so fast!! LOL

I've heard it said "Lawyer!" will have the same effect. ::giggle::

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Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: I need help with a safe word - 11/20/2005 9:48:25 AM   
deliciouslyyoung


Posts: 1
Joined: 11/19/2005
Status: offline
I guess this is a little unrelated, but what suggestions do y'all have for a multilingual sub? When i'm hurt or extremely upset, i lost the ability to speak english and most of the Doms i've been with don't speak french well enough to understand me if i use a french safeword...it doesn't sound like a real word to them no matter what it is, it just sounds like babble...any suggested alternatives?

(in reply to Vancouver_cinful)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: I need help with a safe word - 11/20/2005 8:31:05 PM   
Hohoho


Posts: 135
Joined: 3/18/2005
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Re deliciouslyyoung

Since you revert to your native tongue only when hurt or upset, let the entire French language be your safeword. A pause in action could let you answer and give the information you need. Schooling your Dom a bit beforehand wouldn't hurt. That way, the Dom could hear the difference of Francais versus babble. If that is too restrictive, how about IMBECILE!!!! Translates quite nicely! Vive la difference! Bonne Chance!

< Message edited by Hohoho -- 11/20/2005 8:32:10 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: I need help with a safe word - 11/20/2005 9:50:36 PM   
wageeek


Posts: 1
Joined: 11/20/2005
Status: offline
As a Dom I think color is always good, but ease of use and lack of confusion is good too.

Good Luck

(in reply to inneedoflez)
Profile   Post #: 31
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