RE: having the kit ... but it still being shit

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RE: having the kit ... but it still being shit - 7/23/2008 9:10:56 AM

CelticPrince

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quote:

So my question ... Why do these people continue to participate? ... because it cannot be living up to their expectations .. what is in it for them?

softness,

methinks it might be hope for the future, if not with who they are with but some future connection.

ps where is your pic?

CP

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RE: having the kit ... but it still being shit - 7/23/2008 9:22:28 AM

softness

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new pic awaiting approval ... normal functioning will begin again soon!

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RE: having the kit ... but it still being shit - 7/23/2008 9:45:25 AM

DesFIP

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Maybe they had just had a fight in the car? But since they were all dressed up they decided to go anyway and see if they felt better once they were there.

We've had days where one of us isn't really into it but we try anyway because it's the first available time we've had for a while. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. But it's worth trying if half the time it does work.

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RE: having the kit ... but it still being shit - 7/23/2008 10:13:16 AM

RCdc

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quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened
I totally see your point and apologize. I wish to all gods I looked younger than my age but I don't, recently every year has decided to display itself on my body in one form or another. I'm not almost middle-aged, I'm past it. The reality is that I now have more history than future. Of course that history has value, it has meaning 99% of it good and happy and emmensely satisfying. And I understand I should not let the tittering of youngsters keep me from enjoying myself, but part of that history, the 1% painful part, is that I have been the brunt of cruel teasing all of my life. I had hoped that public play spaces would be a tad more accepting.

Public play spaces are not more accepting because they are filled with people from life. It's no different than going to the mall, or the pub or the cinema. And even if I do have more future at my age, than I have history I never think like that. I live every day as if it is the last - and I enjoy every damn minute. The laughter, the pain - everything - regardless.

Maybe it's because I am 'in between' - Im not quite 40, I look 30 and I feel 20 - I have the most amazing man who calls me his.girl. and all I can see is people seperating each other into ages. I am able to say 100% without doubt, that those 'tittering of youngsters', aren't all youngsters. They include the middle aged and above and those thirtysomethings who frankly, don't have a clue. And those that seem insecure and flashing dirty looks aren't all middleaged women holding onto the remains of their 30+ marriage either - they also include those insecure 20 somethings that haven't yet found their feet and learnt to trust anyone or are vying for all the attention.

I don't believe apologies are necessary, but I personally don't believe people should think that it's an age war either. Women can be terribly manipulative and judgemental and men often don't notice when it affects their property because it washes over them, whereas women know what is being done because we are women.

But if you let women who don't know you undermine you, you are placing them in a position of dominance over you - more dominant that your owner/master/dominant whatever - and I am not going to apologise for the fact that for me, Master rules and all the rest can go to hell. Accept me for what I am, dislike me if you(generic) like, and if you (generic) are that shallow - take the piss all you (gen) want - but you aren't going to stop me living, loving and enjoying life.

the.dark.

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RE: having the kit ... but it still being shit - 7/23/2008 11:20:33 AM

LadyPact

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When I read the OP, I have to say that I had the same kind of thoughts as the.dark. did about other things that might be going on in those people's lives. Since the club was giving away the free lifetime memberships for attending on opening night, I can tell you from My own view that, even if My husband and I had a fight in the car, we'd still be going. If My sub for some reason had gotten himself into trouble and was being punished once we got there, we'd still be going. The energy might not be great that night, but it would still be worth the membership to Me. That really was My thought about the first couple. The sub had displeased the Dom in some way, and was being punished for a while. That might be why she didn't speak to you. Might have brought on the nasty look too, if she wasn't thrilled about being punished.

As to the Domme and male sub players, honestly, I can't imagine what the issue was. That's just because of My personal way of doing things. If I'm playing, I don't care about the fight that I had in the car, or what My sub did to get himself into trouble. (Not that he does. I'm just going on the hypothetical from above.) The point is, I'm beating you now, so I'm absolutely having fun! Sorry for the double negative here, but I just don't not have fun when I'm playing. If I'm getting to hurt someone, tease them, thrill them, I'm going to have a good time. I don't care how pissy I was five minutes before. In fact, it's a great way to change My attitude.

Either way, I'm glad you still had a good time, softness. I'm looking forward to the new pic.

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RE: having the kit ... but it still being shit - 7/23/2008 11:48:46 AM

IronBear

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I too have seen both ends of the spectrum in the relitively few times I have been to a club. I somewtimes wonder if some of thodse whoi have nothing flowing between them are just happier doing their thing in public. Personally I enjoy just watching in public places and learning what I can. If I have a girl with me, she will be close by and our interaction is the same as it is at home. If it's just Neets and I there, I'm more likely to be found watching couples playing, in the smoking area in conversation and enjoying a smoke or sitting in the darkest corner just enjoying the whole scene and its ambience. On a personal basis, I prefer to learn, practice and train at home with only selected folks there who are mentoring me or assing my efforts untill I am comfortable enough to play in public.. One thing I learned many years (decades) ago was that people will do what they thing is the correct thing for them even if it is beyond the understanding of others..

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RE: having the kit ... but it still being shit - 7/23/2008 12:00:40 PM

mistoferin

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quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened
I totally see your point and apologize. I wish to all gods I looked younger than my age but I don't, recently every year has decided to display itself on my body in one form or another. I'm not almost middle-aged, I'm past it. The reality is that I now have more history than future. Of course that history has value, it has meaning 99% of it good and happy and emmensely satisfying. And I understand I should not let the tittering of youngsters keep me from enjoying myself, but part of that history, the 1% painful part, is that I have been the brunt of cruel teasing all of my life. I had hoped that public play spaces would be a tad more accepting.

eyesopened....I just perved your profile (and it wasn't the first time I did that either

). I just want to say that maybe I'm missing something but....I don't think you have anything to be concerned over. You are a beautiful woman.

< Message edited by mistoferin -- 7/23/2008 12:01:45 PM >

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RE: having the kit ... but it still being shit - 7/23/2008 12:05:15 PM

CreativeDominant

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

I see the seemingly dispassionate couples and the those at the other end of the spectrum that play TO the crowd and put on a grand show....and all the couples who are at all points on the spectrum in between. The dispassionate ones might strike a momentary chord of sadness in me...and the show offs usually trigger a chuckle and a head shake. But beyond that, I don't give them a lot of thought. I'm there for what pleases Sir and myself...and to us...it's really about us. I'm there to see good friends, make some new ones, learn a new thing or two and share the time and experience things with my partner. Sometimes the "show" going on around us is entertaining...sometimes it's pretty pathetic....and sometimes I get lost in him and don't even notice that it's going on.

Oh come on, mist...you are there hoping to find Rocky Mtn Oysters. I keep telling you that you won't find the real ones...the good ones...until you come to Colorado.

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< Message edited by CreativeDominant -- 7/23/2008 12:08:05 PM >

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RE: having the kit ... but it still being shit - 7/23/2008 12:12:20 PM

Alumbrado

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I'm fascinated by the notion that people take the time to go out, and instead of having a good time themselves, they obsess over what everyone else is doing. 9th grade sock hop insecurities should have been left in 9th grade.

< Message edited by Alumbrado -- 7/23/2008 12:15:26 PM >

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RE: having the kit ... but it still being shit - 7/23/2008 12:18:14 PM

BRNaughtyAngel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

eyesopened....I just perved your profile (and it wasn't the first time I did that either). I just want to say that maybe I'm missing something but....I don't think you have anything to be concerned over. You are a beautiful woman.

I've said that to her before in past threads when she has made similar comments.

You're a beautiful lady eyesopened, and I'm not just saying that to be polite.

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RE: having the kit ... but it still being shit - 7/23/2008 12:19:08 PM

simpleplan2

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You can add me to that choir :)

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RE: having the kit ... but it still being shit - 7/23/2008 2:28:10 PM

Evility

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I go to play parties every now and then and I'm not the life of the party. I hang out and maybe make a new friend or two and maybe get to catch up with a few of my old friends in the process. I like them enough to go every so often but not nearly enough to make it a monthly ritual.

As far as the play you observed being lethargic I have only played once in public and very briefly at that. Anyone watching me that night might have thought I was bored and they would be right. There are enough limitations in public play spaces that it takes all the wind from my sails. Working within the confines of the dungeon rules left me feeling like I was just going through the motions. Perhaps they felt the same way.

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RE: having the kit ... but it still being shit - 7/23/2008 2:58:23 PM

Prinsexx

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RE: having the kit ... but it still being shit - 7/23/2008 4:50:41 PM

slaveluci

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quote:

ORIGINAL: softness
But what about the people who are CLEARLY not happy. Who are simply going through the motions. The two couples I mentioned will have had to make a fair old effort to get to that club, they paid money on the outfits, kit, entry fee, petrol, drinks, food ... and yet I have never seen two people look less stimulated .. and I have volunteered on coma wards.

So my question ... Why do these people continue to participate? ... because it cannot be living up to their expectations .. what is in it for them?

Would you ask the same questions about a couple dressed very fancily in "vanilla" clothes out at a pricey restaurant? I often see couples like that out in other venues and who knows why they appear unhappy? Could be one of a million reasons. There's no way we can ascertain why truthfully.

Also, this scenario just goes right along with what Master and I have always maintained. One can buy all the costumes and props but it sure don't make it any "realer" or "truer" or "deeper" or "better."

All that's icing on the cake if you dig it but totally unneeded and doesn't "prove" anything as seen by these two who dressed the part but apparently weren't into it at all....................luci

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RE: having the kit ... but it still being shit - 7/23/2008 4:56:05 PM

softness

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I actually would think the same about people dressed up in fancy pant restaurant clearly bored out of their skulls

but thats just me ... i want everyone to be enjoying life as much as i do!

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RE: having the kit ... but it still being shit - 7/23/2008 6:14:37 PM

jesiul

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eyesopen... here is the best quote I have ever heard about growing old...

" If my muscles hurt, it just means I've used them. If it hurts to walk up the stairs, it's just cause I've done it a hundred times to lay down next to a man who loved me. My face may have wrinkles, but I have laid under hundreds of skies on sunny days. I look like this, well, because I drank and I smoked and I lived and I loved and I screwed my way through a pretty damn good life. Getting old isn't bad. It's earned."

That to me says it all
~jesi~

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RE: having the kit ... but it still being shit - 7/23/2008 10:36:24 PM

SurrenderForMe

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You might just be noticing couples who are on the verge of breaking up. Or who stay in a relationship because they don't want to go out and deal with starting over. Or having a bad night. There are so many reasons that could produce that result.

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RE: having the kit ... but it still being shit - 7/24/2008 5:16:49 AM

MasterFireMaam

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RE: having the kit ... but it still being shit - 7/24/2008 5:34:40 AM

DoesMemoryMatter

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I'm just about dead on in that middle age range and regardless, attractive women have power. Thank goddess "attractive" can come in an amazing diversity of pkgs.
peace & love,
DMM
sorry so sappy- Haven't had coffee yet and had a really good play date after long dry spell.

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RE: having the kit ... but it still being shit - 7/24/2008 8:05:59 AM

Owner4SexSlave

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Hell, this can be seen anywhere and everywhere in public places around the world you know. Not just BDSM clubs and munches.

Dance clubs, Shopping Markets, Amuzement Parks, Parks, Rock Concerts, Swing Clubs, Hell even family gatherings.   Any Social event or actually anywhere. You can see two people together that look and appear simply bored.

The thing is this, they appear bored together.   But remember you seeing them in one spot in time. This does not mean their relationship is boring, perhaps it is, who the hell knows.

Not everybody is running on high engery levels all the time. Perhaps the girl that is whipping somebody 1/2 assed got of from working a 12-10 hour shift at a job that kicked her ass, and the boy she was whipping went through the same ordeal. However, they made it a point to exhaust their last breath of engery to attend the Grand Opening event.

I know I've done things when I've been totally drained, because it was an important event I did not want to miss.

It's rather difficult to fully access why. You can see it, however... there is always a reason for it.   At times, people assume or think the worse.   That two people are bored with each other.

As somebody else pointed out, they just might not be feeling all that comfortable around a lot of strangers.

If you see somebody who looks like they are bored, you can always try to engage them in conversation and be friendly. Attempt to add some excietment. That is if seeing bored looking people really bothers you, try to do something about it. Else, just ingore it and have fun yourself.

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