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RE: What is Dom's responsibility to a sub or slave? - 7/26/2008 9:59:43 PM

addisonclarkgirl

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i agree with you. i want to be able to stand on my own two feet and be happy with or without Him. i guess my need is more of an emotional one, where i feel incomplete without Him. i have to admit, a lot of my happiness does depend on Him. Is that horrible?

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RE: What is Dom's responsibility to a sub or slave? - 7/27/2008 12:42:57 AM

julietsierra

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissIsis

I am not sure it is the dominant's responsibility to make sure all his submissives needs are met. I don't believe one person can meet anyone's needs 100%. Maybe part of the dominant's responsibility is to make sure the submissive has the tools to make sure her needs can be met. Part of the submissive's journey might just be learning to take care of herself while still serving the one whom she is bound to.

For me, I have already been a mommy & love that part of my life, but that is the last thing I want from the one who is mine. With my submissive, I want to know they can stand on their own 2 feet. I want to know & trust that they have the ability to protect themselves & to be smart enough to keep themselves out of compromising positions. That doesn't mean I wouldn't step in when they need help, but for me, they need to be able to do what they need to, to care for themselves. I want to know they are strong enough to live without me, yet still choose to live for me, & still choose to give their service to me.

My job is to be honest with them. Sometimes, I am brutally honest, but it is not with any intent of malice. I just call things the way I see them. If I can't be honest, if they fuss, & cause drama when I tell the truth, even if it is something they don't want to hear, then we are probably not a good match. My job is to be true to myself, & to my submissive. My job is to hold the relationship as special, & to protect it, while still being true to who I am & what I want out of my life. My job is to build up my submissive, to help them to gain and see the confidence they have achieved in living. My job it to show them how to have pride in their abilities. My job is to nuture the amazing qualities they possess & to help them, as they achieve their goals. My job is to know when to let them step out & be all they can be.

That's the point I was trying to make with my point 7.

juliet

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RE: What is Dom's responsibility to a sub or slave? - 7/27/2008 12:51:21 AM

Asherdelampyr

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lostkitten2

I have heard a lot about what is expected of a sub, what is expected of a slave, but not so much of what is expected of a Dom. Surely it is not just to sit back and have a beer while his responsibilities are taken care of by others? Or ignored? What does a sub or slave get to expect from a Dom? Before, and then after being collared?

Coming from mine
Safety
Respect
Emotional Support
Guidance
Commitment
Control
The biggest thing is that she needs to know that I will always be there, no matter what.

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RE: What is Dom's responsibility to a sub or slave? - 7/27/2008 12:59:25 AM

NorthernGent

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Before:

Good for his word, steers clear of making promises to which he can't keep, no intentions toward harm.

After:

The above plus commitment.

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RE: What is Dom's responsibility to a sub or slave? - 7/27/2008 8:21:35 AM

corsetgirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lostkitten2

I was really hoping to hear from Doms on this because a lot of them (present company excluded) seem to want to play, but when a responsibility enters the conversation, they start running. Yes, it is the negotiation between the two parties involved, but surely playing and dumping isn't on any subs list of things they want from a Dom.

Amen! There are more "dump doms" in my area. Sometimes, I fail to read the signs but it is a part of becoming more aware of the situation and I will become more discerning into who I want to fully submit. I have also changed my profile to become friends first before any playing.

Aggressive, I know not all doms fall into the negative category, either and that there are a few of them who will take time to know the sub first. It is just like trying to find a diamond in a pile of coal. I am trying very much not to be hostile or bitter, either, it just poisons another potential dom/sub relationship.

< Message edited by corsetgirl -- 7/27/2008 8:24:10 AM >

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RE: What is Dom's responsibility to a sub or slave? - 7/28/2008 9:13:01 AM

marieToo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

Before:

Good for his word, steers clear of making promises to which he can't keep, no intentions toward harm.

After:

The above plus commitment.

Yeah, plus a big raging boner up the ass once in a while.

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RE: What is Dom's responsibility to a sub or slave? - 7/28/2008 9:21:06 AM

MistressStiletto

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In terms or responsibility, as asked, there is one simple answer that's applicable to any aspect of life. Whoever has the authority, has the responsibility for execising that authority and any resulting consequences. Total authority over another means having total responsibility for everything that other person does or fails to do, as well as one's self too of course.

Those that want the authority, but evade any responsiblity are weak and unworthy to have that authority. If anyone is involved with such a person, then they should head for the nearest exit.

Mistress Stiletto & Dr. Eros

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RE: What is Dom's responsibility to a sub or slave? - 7/28/2008 12:25:40 PM

tammystarm

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Hola to all. i have a question after several years on this site and numerous "dates", i have found the one!!! AWESOME right? W/we are compatiable in everyway, EXCEPT...... im into pain and humiliation, his idea of spanking is a bit red that goes away in moments... sighs... ive commented numerous times about how i love to see marks on my body even weeks after... but it hasnt happened... what ever shall i do? thank You i know this conversation was about a different topic but after searching it was the best forum to ask in ... kisses to all peace love and harmony ~t~
Never break the heart the mind or the spirit of a submissive she is here to please You. ~t~

< Message edited by tammystarm -- 7/28/2008 12:28:27 PM >

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RE: What is Dom's responsibility to a sub or slave? - 7/28/2008 12:29:08 PM

tammystarm

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ps how do i change from Vanilla to something most realistic smiles

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RE: What is Dom's responsibility to a sub or slave? - 7/30/2008 1:56:59 AM

mypain56

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well this topic is certainly loaded, considering i posted an earlier question, about something similiar, and then after reading some of the replys, it dawned on me that what are you willing to accept in your involvement. Do you want the whole pie or are you willing to accept just part of it for now and be patient. If he seems to be honest, and forthright just give him the benefit of the doubt. although i wouldn't wait forever either. Just as i am not going to wait forever, but where i am, is at an 8 month involvement, so only time will tell i guess. Daddy does help me when i need help financially so he does care enough. My problem is i am too impatient. OK here's an example: Daddy just started a new job about a month ago, and a couple weeks ago he went on 3rd shift so now his sleep pattern is all twisted. So we don't see each other very much, and he mentioned earlier that it would take at least 6 months to get it down, and then he laughed. Well my reply was maybe it will be worked out by our anniversary which is in November. And he's like one would think huh... so what would that be considered, a responsibility, or something that just needs a little patienence.

Daddy's/babygirl
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RE: What is Dom's responsibility to a sub or slave? - 7/30/2008 10:52:59 AM

akisha

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My Master's responsibilities to me are thus:

Do nothing to physically or emotionally harm me.

No Cheating on me

Pull his own weight financially in the household. He is of the opinion that the Man should support his family *shakes head n chuckles*

That's about it.

< Message edited by akisha -- 7/30/2008 10:54:08 AM >

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RE: What is Dom's responsibility to a sub or slave? - 7/30/2008 1:38:58 PM

NorthernGent

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quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

Yeah, plus a big raging boner up the ass once in a while.

Really? Shouldn't you be wandering around as meek as fuck instead of shouting the odds?

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RE: What is Dom's responsibility to a sub or slave? - 7/30/2008 1:47:17 PM

StayOfExecution

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

Yeah, plus a big raging boner up the ass once in a while.

Really? Shouldn't you be wandering around as meek as fuck instead of shouting the odds?

Well yes Sir, of course I should, but I'm incorrigible, which is why God made those cute little penis gags.

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RE: What is Dom's responsibility to a sub or slave? - 7/30/2008 2:36:20 PM

NorthernGent

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quote:

ORIGINAL: StayOfExecution

quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

Yeah, plus a big raging boner up the ass once in a while.

Really? Shouldn't you be wandering around as meek as fuck instead of shouting the odds?

Well yes Sir, of course I should, but I'm incorrigible, which is why God made those cute little penis gags.

God isn't remotely interested in your whims.

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Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

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