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RE: In-House training? - 7/25/2008 5:35:31 PM   
ProtagonistLily


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quote:

When you take someone new into your house, do you find they are fully trained at tea service, or boot blacking, or whatever skill you are offering in only one week's time?


Good point, and I think it's fair to say that no one learns these in one week. I've been working on boots for 4 years now, and I still consider myself a novice.

However, I didn't think that the OP was saying this at all, just for the record.

PL


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RE: In-House training? - 7/25/2008 5:36:00 PM   
RedMagic1


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quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessDonna

Have you read East Of Eden by Anne Rice??You might get some understanding there as to putting your plan in motion.

Does Anne Rice have any real-time experience in BDSM, or M/s households?  It doesn't read that way.


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RE: In-House training? - 7/25/2008 6:28:15 PM   
Madame4a


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From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		I'm not sure why such a thing is even necessary.  There are so many events all over the country and groups with workshops and presentations, some of them weekly.  There are so many venues and situations to learn things broadly, rather than just one way (probably best, in my mind) that something so narrow might not be necessary.

Several groups around the country have robust and VARIED educational programs.  In addition to that, there are several specialized groups all over (clubfem, spanking clubs, bondage groups, tng groups, etc) that cater to very specific activities.

*shrug*

It seems unnecessary to me.

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RE: In-House training? - 7/25/2008 6:32:36 PM   
DesFIP


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ButchFemDomCpl


Please provide the post that says I would be charging a "large amount of money"?   This post was to ask "What do you think of entering a 24/7 lifestyle house for a weekend training?  This posting wasnt about raising funds, it was about education.

Femme




So you propose to accept any number of strangers into your home at a moment's notice, cover all the costs of food, increased use of electricity etc to provide them with a vacation (your word, not mine) that would teach them something and still serve as a vacation for no money at all?

You do realize you are proposing to set up a B & B right? Is this a legal usage under your zoning laws? Have you checked with your attorney? Aren't within 600 feet of a school, I hope. Because if you take any money then it's a whole different ballpark. Please remember that was is small change to you is a large sum to others. Or are you doing this for free, hosting continual peoples with no downtime to you and no income to offset the expenses.

And by the way, I have gone to vanilla homes and seen how other people set up their lives and have them make the beds. I used to go to inns and B & B's a lot.

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RE: In-House training? - 7/25/2008 7:27:18 PM   
Lordandmaster


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Status: offline 		Well, at least in-house training is more sanitary than outhouse training.

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RE: In-House training? - 7/25/2008 7:33:55 PM   
MadRabbit


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Well, at least in-house training is more sanitary than outhouse training.


You beat me to it. Damn you, Lordandmaster. The day shall be mine eventually! You'll see!

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RE: In-House training? - 7/25/2008 7:38:26 PM   
stella41b


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From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		I think in theory it's a brilliant idea..

I was involved in the early stages of setting up Victorian Dover, which was a lifestyle BDSM household in Dover, UK. It was meant to be a BDSM household devoted to the Victorian or period lifestyle, but in the end it ended up being a general BDSM lifestyle household.

Like the others I'm just curious as to how much you can teach someone about various component elements of your household, would this be by running courses or seminars? Wouldn't it be better to offer the experience of being in such a household for the weekend, but instead promote the household through seminars and workshops at various venues?

Something else I'm curious about, and that is how it is to be run.. Are you hoping for something more specialist, and therefore hoping to attract a smaller market of people who are deeply interested in your particular lifestyle, or are you hoping to dilute it for the wider community as it were?

My reason for asking is that the people who come and visit your household are probably going to have a greater influence on your household and the success of your venture than it may seem. How can you guarantee that you will find enough people with a deep enough interest in your household?

Would it not be better to offer the experience of being part of the household and leave the actual training to a well developed website for example, with more detailed training and seminars at different events?

Just curious...

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RE: In-House training? - 7/25/2008 9:11:18 PM   
TheIslandofO


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Status: offline 		My two cents  is, we tried a few years back to legally set up such a enterprise in Las Vegas as well here in sunny Florida, both times we faced serious legal obstacles that in the end made it monetarily unfeasible. Unless you are willing to risk serious financial ruin, it is becoming extremely difficult to open such a place in the USA or the UK. A Lot will be willing to argue this, however this is the main reason we went offshore. Our due diligence by our board for a few years looking at real possibilities and spending considerable sums of time effort and money.Good Luck

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RE: In-House training? - 7/25/2008 10:33:55 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


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Status: offline 		I wish people would stop mixing up the concepts of mentor and trainer.  It cheapens both and makes whoever is doing it sound like they are just looking to sound cool rather than really knowing the process they are wanting to undertake.

I would have no problem going to or sending someone to be trained.  People hire personal trainers all the time for their health.

But I'd need to have a need for a specific skill or set of skills to be trained in which I was not adept at, and find someone not only who had those skills but who would also be an excellent trainer of those skills with SOME sort of history and certification behind it.  Not easy to find, certainly not just because someone has a house and a few people living in it for a few months.

And again, that's a trainer, not a mentor.

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RE: In-House training? - 7/25/2008 10:40:02 PM   
Leatherist


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Status: offline 		That's pretty much what I was thinking.....the difference between "professional with certifications"
 
 Or merely "dillettante".
 

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RE: In-House training? - 7/25/2008 10:44:15 PM   
monywildcat


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Status: offline 		Old Bastard is onto something here!  Free workshop?  Does that mean free pool and beer too???  I would bring a towel and a 12 pack, promise...


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RE: In-House training? - 7/25/2008 10:58:13 PM   
SimplyMichael


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Status: offline 		I think training in basic interpersonal communication would benefit most.  The difference between a "you" statement and an "I" statement for example, or how to spot passive aggressive behavior for instance.  How to mirror back statements is another good one, that would help many people.  Learning how to ask for basic needs to be met and how to listen and respond to that request in a contructive way are also skills many lack


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RE: In-House training? - 7/25/2008 11:12:56 PM   
Leatherist


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

I think training in basic interpersonal communication would benefit most.  The difference between a "you" statement and an "I" statement for example, or how to spot passive aggressive behavior for instance.  How to mirror back statements is another good one, that would help many people.  Learning how to ask for basic needs to be met and how to listen and respond to that request in a contructive way are also skills many lack




I work with the public a great deal in a retail job. I have customers who come in looking for items every day-many of which can only communicate what they want in a very vague and chaotic fashion. I have learned to read thier body and facial language for cues as to whether what I am saying in response is exciting either a response of dissapointment-confusion or enlightenment.

When I find the first two, I back track and ask another question,or give them a few moments to consider another response. If I keep pressing with MY ideas, that may make those first two even worse. I suborn my ego in the interests of feeding thier comfort zone, and drawing them out. Eventually, we come to an accord, I take them to what they need (if we have it) and I make a sale.

It works the same way in communication with a partner I am interested in.

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RE: In-House training? - 7/26/2008 6:59:46 AM   
ButchFemDomCpl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: OldBastardly1

You mean it would be free?


I don't know.  I was thinking it would be more like a "vouch" type thing.  I began this thread asking what people thought of the pro's and cons of having such a space to help novice Tops and bottoms.  

Femme
ButchFemDomCple

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RE: In-House training? - 7/26/2008 7:08:03 AM   
ButchFemDomCpl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: barefootgal

As a newbie with a newbie partner, this is an intriguing concept. It's easy for someone with a lot of experience to say "I'll set up my household the way I want it" or "my Dom will tell me what he wants" but when you've only just started to explore a D/s relationship, you don't necessarily know what you want... or even what the options are... not to mention the logistics behind the options.

A couple questions: Would you only welcome couples? Would a couple have to be planning a 24/7 household, or could it be more of a "fantasy weekend" getaway kinda thing? How would you screen for that?

BFG


Hello and thanks for posting.

You are the exact type of couple I was thinking this would benifit.  The idea I had was that it opened windows of communication.  Once you see the possiblities of what can be done, then you have a base of knowledge of what you want to keep or discard for your House.

Good Questions.. I was thinking it would be for BDSM couples.  Catherine Gross already has a slave retreat and I think one for Dom/mes.. not sure.   As far as "who would go"  I think I would want it on a referal system from folks currently in the community.  I dont see this as a "fantasy weekend" sort of thing, more like a weekend for serious kinksters looking to set up their own 24/7 house.   Not sure of how the engineering of it would go, right now just more interested in people's ideas of the concept.

Thanks for your questions and comments
Femme
ButchFemDomCpl

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RE: In-House training? - 7/26/2008 7:18:58 AM   
ButchFemDomCpl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Surrenderwithin
. 


I realize I am playing the devils advocate here but couldn't these worksheets or questions be published on a website someplace and me available as a resource to so many more people than the proposed situation?


That is a possiblity, but not something I am willing to do right now. Right now I was interested in testing this concept in real life

Femme
ButchFemDomCpl

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RE: In-House training? - 7/26/2008 7:21:58 AM   
ButchFemDomCpl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Surrenderwithin




Correct.  No two vanilla houses are the same. I wouldnt suggest that they were.  Unlike vanilla and Domination Houses, people do not go to a vanilla house to have someone make their beds or to cook, clean and serve them.... well.. unless they are going to visit their mothers....


A few months ago I visited a bed and breakfast. It was in someones home... and I got all of those services and more....



The poster that asked about vanilla houses was referring to homes owned by people not into this lifestyle. They also referred to going to someone's house *that they knew*  They were afraid to go to "someone's house they didnt know."   If you want to compare a bed and breakfast to My idea, thats sorta what I was thinking.   

Femme
ButchFemDomCpl

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RE: In-House training? - 7/26/2008 7:26:38 AM   
ButchFemDomCpl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Surrenderwithin

He did not say that he was unwilling to learn and gain knowledge he merely choose not to drink from one particular well of learning. That doesnt mean that he would neglect education all together.

Just because he does not think that you have anything to offer him because your orientation is different than his is not a negative thing about you or your choice, merely his feelings. Perhaps he sees what you do as foreign to him as shoes would be to a puppy dog. Just because you stand under the same umbrella of BDSM as he does... You may not even be in the same storm.

If his house is working for him and his as it is why change. Why re-invent the wheel or fix what isnt broken. I do not believe that everyone needs to be taught how to do what works for them. For some people, it is just known and comes from a deep place within.



I didnt start this thread to argue with someone over "whose house is better than who."   I asked a simple question of slaves.  If his house is working so well for him, why did he respond to the thread?   I have talked to others who originally believe the same as you.  They dont anymore, and have the permenant scars to remind them why playing with an untrained Top is a bit dicy.

Femme
ButchFemDomCpl


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RE: In-House training? - 7/26/2008 7:40:26 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
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Status: offline 		The only argument is one you have created, by refusing to answer the most basic questions about details.  I regret asking Leatherist to back off, because you jumped down his throat like a 13-year-old when I stepped between the two of you.  He had you pegged better than I did.  It's happened before.

If you want support from anyone with any experience at all, I'd suggest you return here with (1) a list of actual practical skills that would be taught, (2) proof that you've done even 10 minutes of legal research -- oh, and (3) keep the attitude at home.


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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
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RE: In-House training? - 7/26/2008 8:23:03 AM   
OldBastardly1


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Status: offline 		Yeah, what  RedMagic said....and perhaps something that would indicate that you actually have something worthwhile to teach. I have held my mouth, waiting to see how it unfolded, only to see you display a lack of control over yourself and juvenile behavior.
Personally, I think the concept is quite flawed. Most people who aren't newbies would be reluctant to let others guide and direct their path. I think that newbies are better guided in a group format... to let them see a variety of techniques and protocols, then they can see what interests them.

I can't help but wonder why somebody would want to engage in this type of business if there wasn't a decent profit being made.......unless they needed to feel some self-importance. Yeah, you could tattoo all the "vacationers" with something like " trained by the all-knowing ______ ". Maybe you could grow to a kinky college where you could have many teachers and you could ride through your loyal subjects, giving the "Pope wave".

Let us know how this works out for you.



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