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Play Parties - 7/25/2008 12:11:02 PM

Coupleofwhats

Posts: 280
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline

Generally, I avoid fetish/BDSM parties like the plague. (I know that a lot of people from other parts of the country sometimes think that NYC must have a hopping fetish scene... but for the most part, the big parties are L-A-M-E.)

But this month, I went to two small, invitation-only events that were awesome! We talked, we drank, we played, and it was a good time for all.

So I got to thinking... why can't this be done on a larger scale, without having to limit the guest list to 20 or so people?

It seems to me that the reason why many Dommes stay away from the big parties is the way they get bombarded by a million crazed submissives. (You can see how that's would become a vicious cycle: less dommes show up, the subs get more desperate and drive even more of us away.) What if the party wasn't held in some super dark club/basement, but in a well-lit establishment? I imagine that a lot of the inappropriate behavior would be curtailed, as people sometimes use the darkness to feel OK about harassing uninterested dommes.

So, basically, I want to know if YOU would be interested in a fetish party that wasn't the usual darkened affair? Something brighter, more... chic and refined? Or, am I the only one who's over playing in the dark?

Post #: 1

RE: Play Parties - 7/25/2008 12:14:46 PM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

Do you mean a play party or a fetish party? I see them as two separate things.. I tend to go to play parties, what I view as fetish events are usually not of interest to me -- mostly because there is either NO or limited play and they tend to be stand and model situations.

I also prefer to play in semi lit play spaces.. I don't like them dark, but I don't care for bright lights.. general bar level lighting is good for me...

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to Coupleofwhats)

Post #: 2

RE: Play Parties - 7/25/2008 12:17:46 PM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

Join a private club, there can be upwards of 200+ people on any given night and not just anybody off the street will get in.

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to Madame4a)

Post #: 3

RE: Play Parties - 7/25/2008 12:30:55 PM

Coupleofwhats

Posts: 280
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

Do you mean a play party or a fetish party? I see them as two separate things.. I tend to go to play parties, what I view as fetish events are usually not of interest to me -- mostly because there is either NO or limited play and they tend to be stand and model situations.

I also prefer to play in semi lit play spaces.. I don't like them dark, but I don't care for bright lights.. general bar level lighting is good for me...

I guess I'm proposing a combination: there's plenty of room for folks to show up in their overpriced duds if they like AND to play.

(in reply to Madame4a)

Post #: 4

RE: Play Parties - 7/25/2008 12:41:06 PM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

I like playing in my over priced duds.. *grin* but I'm pretty good at finding a bargain.

Ultimately, I like comfortable space to play in -- if I go out, its rarely just to mingle, its often to play.

I go to public things, private things, small gatherings, invitation only , women only etc, so I go to all kinds of things. Frankly I enjoy all of them for what they are, I don't always prefer one thing over another. It depends on my mood. Yes, ultimately an invitation only private situation is great BUT I don't meet anyone new that way, most of the time.

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to Coupleofwhats)

Post #: 5

RE: Play Parties - 7/25/2008 2:28:02 PM

gentv2000

Posts: 10
Joined: 2/18/2007
Status: offline

Mistress Demonica in our community took the initiative to start a clubFEM chapter. The group meets monthly and exists strictly for female dominants and male submissives. The quality of play and the opportunity for interaction is far superior to most events I've been to. There's a diverse and expanding membership so one is always meeting new people however, there's a screening process that raises the bar for participation. Consequently there are no crazed submissives. The boys know their place and a member who doesn't behave doesn't last long. There is a New York chapter as well.

(note: I've edited this to remove urls. I don't know if they're allowed or not but I thought it might be better to be on the safe side. If I broke any rules, my sincere appologies; forum newbie walking here..)

I still enjoy getting out to munches and play parties sponsored by other groups but ClubFem feels like home. I know I can always count on having a good experience.

Jen

< Message edited by gentv2000 -- 7/25/2008 3:00:28 PM >

(in reply to Madame4a)

Post #: 6

RE: Play Parties - 7/25/2008 2:32:51 PM

Coupleofwhats

Posts: 280
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline

Hey Jen,

Thanks for the heads up.

(in reply to gentv2000)

Post #: 7

RE: Play Parties - 7/25/2008 5:57:32 PM

TeeGO

Posts: 451
Joined: 12/11/2005
Status: offline

There was a ClubFEM in Chicago. But it kind of drifted away. I haven't heard if it started back up or not. But it was pretty cool.

_____________________________

Life is a mystery to be explored. An open mind is a portal to wondrous experiences!

(in reply to Coupleofwhats)

Post #: 8

RE: Play Parties - 7/25/2008 7:17:49 PM

earthycouple

Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

ok, slight hijack....OP, you have amazing photos...

now, on to the topic....I don't think I'd like a club or party that is more refined. I believe I feel like I go to play parties for the "dank/darkness" of some of it. To "pretty/refined" will take away from it for me. As for subs who bother a domish type...bah. I can fend for myself fairly well *S*

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to TeeGO)

Post #: 9

RE: Play Parties - 7/25/2008 10:49:26 PM

SurrenderForMe

Posts: 229
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

In my experience, the difference is not the lighting or ambience, it is the scale and makeup of the group.

I have played in well lit and clean clubs, dark and clean clubs and the Vault, which has its match for scuzziness in SF at a club I can't remember the name of right now. I have played at these clubs when they were open to the public and with the exception of the Vault, I have played at them when they were used to host larger parties. In the former, too many wankers, in the latter, too many strangers or just overload. Both feel cold, if you are looking for a feeling of being part of something.

I have also been to private parties. Hanging out talking, playing, eating, swimming. That is the most congenial setting I have found.

lol. Size does matter for a party.

(in reply to Coupleofwhats)

Post #: 10

RE: Play Parties - 7/25/2008 11:37:00 PM

Coupleofwhats

Posts: 280
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

ok, slight hijack....OP, you have amazing photos...

now, on to the topic....I don't think I'd like a club or party that is more refined. I believe I feel like I go to play parties for the "dank/darkness" of some of it. To "pretty/refined" will take away from it for me. As for subs who bother a domish type...bah. I can fend for myself fairly well *S*

Thank you! It's a major perk of knowing photographers. ;)

I don't think it's a matter of fending your myself: I really just hate trying to talk to people and having ten guys standing off to the side, waiting for me to look over at them. That's not a party atmosphere!

(in reply to earthycouple)

Post #: 11

RE: Play Parties - 7/26/2008 8:53:39 AM

cherrytvsissy

Posts: 13
Joined: 10/16/2005
From: New Orleans, Louisiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Coupleofwhats

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

ok, slight hijack....OP, you have amazing photos...

now, on to the topic....I don't think I'd like a club or party that is more refined. I believe I feel like I go to play parties for the "dank/darkness" of some of it. To "pretty/refined" will take away from it for me. As for subs who bother a domish type...bah. I can fend for myself fairly well *S*

Thank you! It's a major perk of knowing photographers. ;)

I don't think it's a matter of fending your myself: I really just hate trying to talk to people and having ten guys standing off to the side, waiting for me to look over at them. That's not a party atmosphere!

I want to second the opinion on the photos.

A photographer can photograph an incredible sunset - but he, or she, can not create one. Indeed, you had a talented photographer, but it is you that is the magic in the photos.

Your face is so beautiful it defies any artist's talent to reproduce, and your body is a work of art no artist could achieve from skills alone. Your Photo 2 is simply, and totally, stunning. You are the magic and the beauty in the photo ... perhaps the sunset should be jealous. There is more infinity in your eyes than in the heavens. Thank you for being so beautiful and sharing yourself. You are a magical beauty and joy.

_____________________________

"The reward for conformity is that everyone likes you but yourself." ~ Rita Mae Brown ~

(in reply to Coupleofwhats)

Post #: 12

RE: Play Parties - 7/27/2008 9:32:33 AM

MsJssk

Posts: 67
Joined: 3/28/2008
From: Austin, Texas
Status: offline

I am in Central Texas and I think that our social organization may be a bit different than other places. We don't' have any nightclub type environments, that I know of. We gather in social clubs. Austin and Houston both have many different clubs with their own personality and flair. Houston has a ClubFem that I've been to and would go to again, but it's not really my style. With the exception of one club in Austin, they all meet at people's homes for parties about once a month. They all have different levels of membership requirements, but my favorite is one that is like you describe. There's a couple hundred people on the invite list and a party usually brings in 50-100 people. Most the parties are set up so that there is a social area and several small play areas with various levels of intensity in the play rooms. If anyone is bothersome to more than a few people, he gets uninvited quickly. But as one person said, these are not the greatest avenue for meeting new people, thus I am on CollarMe.

MsJ

(in reply to Coupleofwhats)

Post #: 13

RE: Play Parties - 7/27/2008 9:45:48 AM

hardbodysub

Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

I'm not terribly attracted to the public party scene, but the scenario you describe sounds interesting. I would definitely be tempted to attend.

I only went to one play party, and had a mixed experience. It was by invitation only, but there were a good number of people there - I'd guess close to 100. Organized by pro dommes, but included some purely lifestyle people, both M/f and F/m. It was fun in some ways, but nothing great. The "play" seemed kind of artificial and contrived to me, but I guess that's just a matter of preferences.

(in reply to Coupleofwhats)

Post #: 14

RE: Play Parties - 7/27/2008 9:56:07 AM

DreamyLadySnow

Posts: 359
Joined: 1/23/2005
Status: offline

We have monthly play parties here. We've rented a community hall on an ongoing basis. There is a place for play and a place for socializing. I"ve never noticed anyone come dressed to the nines in fet gear - its not a fetish party.
It's not ideal - I find the socializers get a bit loud for me when I am playing and it can get hot.But it's what we have and it works for us.
Need to be a member to get in; need to be recommended to be a member, but it's the largest group in the city, member-wise.

LS

(in reply to hardbodysub)

Post #: 15

RE: Play Parties - 7/27/2008 3:26:06 PM

DelilahDeb

Posts: 429
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

We manage to hold an assortment of local events: a monthly play party hosted in various private homes with play space, an inexpensive membership dungeon with monthly play party and schmooze opportunities, a bi-monthly local club's fetish night for those who like loud music, dark ambience, and the young and wannabe wearing their spendy fet fashions. A weekly munch and several outlying monthly munches...and we're not even the major metropolitan center for the state. (That's Portland.) Some of that is due to a few resident long-term players, but hey.

Parties of any sort (scene or otherwise) largely by those who host them. In our local scene, the success has a lot to do (IMO) with the simple standards of our key resident players. Efforts are made to include and inform newcomers, to offer learning opportunities, to introduce folks around, and to exclude abusers...or at least make sure there are always safe spots and to ensure that incomers know that if no doesn't mean no then they need to holler for assistance. Some venues are bright and loud, some are dark and loud, some are pretty peaceful without being slow. And mostly they're not drinking locations (playing impaired is effing stupid).

Lady Delilah Deb

_____________________________

"All acts of love & pleasure are My rituals."
--from the Charge of the Goddess, a Wiccan teaching

(in reply to DreamyLadySnow)

Post #: 16

RE: Play Parties - 7/27/2008 3:58:12 PM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

I like a mix.. I like both shadow-parties and brighter, more fun, light parties. I like anonymous parties and homey parties. For me, the common factor is having interesting people and activities that I enjoy.

Oh, and (strictly a bonus) if the party could allow edgeplay (with proper precautions and cleanup)... now that would rock. Even our -edgeplay- SIG parties don't allow my fave forms of edgeplay (even with precautions and cleanup).

Oh well -- such is life.

Calla Firestorm

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to Coupleofwhats)

Post #: 17

RE: Play Parties - 7/27/2008 10:19:23 PM

Coupleofwhats

Posts: 280
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline

Thank you for the warm words!

(in reply to cherrytvsissy)

Post #: 18

RE: Play Parties - 7/28/2008 12:20:09 AM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

Where and what kind of club or party I attend depends on the organizers, the members/participants and my mood. Sometimes a high protocol dinner in a private home is wonderful, sometimes a dark club with anonymous strangers lurking in the shadows, watching your every mood can be very enticing.

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Coupleofwhats)

Post #: 19

RE: Play Parties - 7/28/2008 12:45:48 AM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

The play parties and clubs I've gone to, where not dank and dark and dingy, and innapropriate behavior was not tolerated at all. If someone bothered you, you went and told a dungeon moniter an it was dealt with, even if they had to be made to leave the club.,

Course I know not all playspaces are that good.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Coupleofwhats

What if the party wasn't held in some super dark club/basement, but in a well-lit establishment? I imagine that a lot of the inappropriate behavior would be curtailed, as people sometimes use the darkness to feel OK about harassing uninterested dommes.

(in reply to Coupleofwhats)

Post #: 20

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