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What are dominant women looking for? - 7/25/2008 8:31:16 PM

kinkyATL

Posts: 13
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

What are dominant women looking for? I sure can't figure it out from the profiles or journals.

By asking this, I'm wondering what would get even a response from a message. Virtually all of my messages never receive a response. I never send a form letter. I always provide a picture. My profile was produced with thought and consideration. I'm sincere and real. I've met dominant women before in real life. I'm single and not just playing online games. I really do want to meet and interact with people in real life.

On the 1% of messages that receive a reply... a follow up generally leads to nothing. And almost all the replies I get are very brief. After having written several hundred words, it is very disheartening to see a reply of "tell me more" and nothing else. But even then I follow up... and then nothing. No one who ever wants to meet or talk... ever.

I constantly read women's profiles that say "everyone here is a fake." Not me. But those women won't even reply to a message from me.

I get no where with anyone here. The more conspiracy minded side of me sometimes speculates that most profiles here are just faked... or inactive and the whole thing is just a show to drive web impressions for the porno ads.

Post #: 1

RE: What are dominant women looking for? - 7/25/2008 8:37:55 PM

bottomboy81

Posts: 74
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline

Because your profile and email has to stand out from most or the rest of the male subs but domme profiles and emails don't have to stand out from most or the rest of the dommes on this site. This is what we call fairness. Its only unfair when its women facing the raw end of the deal.

(in reply to kinkyATL)

Post #: 2

RE: What are dominant women looking for? - 7/25/2008 8:42:41 PM

MySweetSubmssive

Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

Below are some of the things that I am looking for. I find it ironic that you are looking for a relationship and can't find one. I find that many/most submissives in my area want play or kink only. Do we get skittish or intimidated when we find someone who is offering what it is we are seeking? It's an honest, open question. I'm not sure of the answer. I'm looking for a man with brains, heart, ethics. It is probably also ironic that the submissive men whom I have known and who have these qualities likely would not claim them for themselves.

Who are you? You have abundant intelligence, heart and depth. You are an independent, full human being.  You are emotionally available and (mostly) emotionally healthy. You are not passive. You can function on your own, but feel fulfilled doing this. You might have years of experience. You might have none. I do not view submission as a weakness. I welcome your strength as a person.

And me? I’m sane, reasonable. I respect limits. It’s important to me to have a sense of caring about the person I take on.   For some people, this will make me sound like I am “just looking for a boyfriend.” For others, this suggests that I am lifestyle. Interpret it as you will.

I am often gentle. I say "please" and "thank you." I feed on what you give me. The more submission you give, the more I want.    I am drawn to people who are still soft inside, who have retained some sense of kindness, soulfulness, even innocence, because I am like this.

Mss

_____________________________

"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

(in reply to kinkyATL)

Post #: 3

RE: What are dominant women looking for? - 7/25/2008 8:44:35 PM

MySweetSubmssive

Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bottomboy81

domme profiles and emails don't have to stand out from most or the rest of the dommes on this site.

My standards for myself have never been low. I've put a LOT of thought into my profile. And because of that I expect it of others.

Mss

_____________________________

"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

(in reply to bottomboy81)

Post #: 4

RE: What are dominant women looking for? - 7/25/2008 8:46:02 PM

mztresn0w

Posts: 174
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline

There are real people here. I hope you find what you are seeking. But I have to wonder with where you live why you are on line seeking? Atlanta is a large place and I am sure they have a local scene.

_____________________________

Becareful what you ask for you may get it and then realize it wasn't what you wanted.
Wicked Evil Grin

(in reply to kinkyATL)

Post #: 5

RE: What are dominant women looking for? - 7/25/2008 8:49:27 PM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

Your profile looks good. You might want to mention some of your hobbies (you say you have them but not what they are). Other than that, make sure you read profiles carefully and make sure you meet the specifications of the women you contact. Not saying you don't, but everyone gets that advice. Have you tried getting out in your local kink community and meeting people? If so, then it's just a matter of patience.

I know that's probably hard to hear, but it's the reality. You're competing with literally hundreds of other guys. It sucks, and it's not fair, but that's how it is. You might also make yourself a regular poster on the boards. I met my girl because she saw something I'd posted and liked it enough to send me a message. She wasn't looking at the time, but we became friends. It evolved into more. Sometimes, if you focus on friendship first, it works out better.

Best of luck.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl

"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to bottomboy81)

Post #: 6

RE: What are dominant women looking for? - 7/25/2008 8:51:07 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

kinkyATL, please ignore the troll. There's a lot of really good advice on the Ask A Mistress board about how to structure a profile and write a first email. Just read back over the last couple weeks.

That said, if you're having better luck meeting in real, well... spend more time at gatherings! I do fairly well meeting both friends and potential companions online-to-real, so I stay online. If I were unsuccessful, I would do something else.

One thing that really made a difference for me was to recognize who was likely to be willing to meet real-time at all, with anyone. If someone has in their profile that everyone is fake, I won't write her. Why? Because not everyone is fake. It means she is finding reasons to disqualify everybody before face-to-face. The woman I'm meeting next weekend is a domme/switch, and she's met six men and one woman from CM in the last year. She's Platonic friends with the woman, and thinks the men were all kinda sketchy. My point is that I would have no chance meeting her if she weren't willing to meet people across the table, not just across the wire. There are no complaints in her profile anywhere.

Also, I think it's a good strategy to start posting regularly. People get a sense of how you think, and might give you helpful advice and make friends... or hit on you.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to bottomboy81)

Post #: 7

RE: What are dominant women looking for? - 7/25/2008 8:55:02 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Personally, I know that I am looking for sincerity from my submissives. Having sent a very wordy, well written and detailed first email doesnt mean that it sounds sincere to some. If you have not read their profile, it might show. If you have and dont put that across, to others that is a turn off. Depending on what you are looking for, you might also be hitting on a lot of fake profiles, or player types that are not really interested in anything past a few odd messages.
My profile is very clear on what I want (or what I had wanted, havig found the boys I am no longer looking) I do not want someone who needs to define themselves by titles and kinks. I want someone who can have a real life with me, with or without the lifestyle involvement. I want someone I can take home and introduce to the parents, and then throw down back at the hotel and abuse. I want someone who is both romantic and masochistic, obedient but with their own ideas and opinions. I do not want someone weak mentally or emotionally, though physically I enjoy it. I want a person who happens to be submissive to me, not a submissive who will obey anyone just to get what they want. I do not want someone who wantsto make me a prop for their fantasies.

Hope that helps
DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)

Post #: 8

RE: What are dominant women looking for? - 7/25/2008 9:18:09 PM

slvemike4u

Posts: 17896
Joined: 1/15/2008
From: United States
Status: offline

Keep posting as RedMagic suggested,half my conversations with Dommes on CollarMe are direct results of postings as opposed to sending out letters.Keep a positive attitude when posting ,no on is attracted by the constant whining exhibited by some with too much time on their hands.

_____________________________

If we want things to stay as they are,things will have to change...Tancredi from "the Leopard"

Forget Guns-----Ban the pools

Funny stuff....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNwFf991d-4

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 9

RE: What are dominant women looking for? - 7/26/2008 1:28:01 AM

joyinslavery

Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kinkyATL

What are dominant women looking for?

Do you really think you'll find that answer here?

Seriously. I mean, really?

Have fun.

_____________________________

"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

(in reply to kinkyATL)

Post #: 10

RE: What are dominant women looking for? - 7/26/2008 1:54:11 AM

pixelslave

Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: joyinslavery

quote:

ORIGINAL: kinkyATL

What are dominant women looking for?

Do you really think you'll find that answer here?

Seriously. I mean, really?

Have fun.

Tosses Joy a bone...

Good point my friend, now go chase another bicycle but try not to nip at the ankles as I'm told those spinning cranks can hurt. Oh, and when crossing the street, be sure to watch out for the cars being driven by dommes that don't have a clue what they want or which way they're going!

- pixel

_____________________________

Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to joyinslavery)

Post #: 11

RE: What are dominant women looking for? - 7/26/2008 1:59:04 AM

joyinslavery

Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pixelslave

quote:

ORIGINAL: joyinslavery

quote:

ORIGINAL: kinkyATL

What are dominant women looking for?

Do you really think you'll find that answer here?

Seriously. I mean, really?

Have fun.

"... be sure to watch out for the cars being driven by dommes that don't have a clue what they want or which way they're going!

- pixel

Your words not mine.

Have I told you you're genius?

Have fun.

_____________________________

"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

(in reply to pixelslave)

Post #: 12

RE: What are dominant women looking for? - 7/26/2008 2:10:22 AM

Coupleofwhats

Posts: 280
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline

This might just be me... but something about a lack of photos turns me off.

I don't necessarily need to see a face (and for goodness sake, no penis!), but SOMETHING. The back of a head, an eye.

And yes, I know your photos are available upon request. But if I were looking to date, and there were 50 e-mails in my box, I'd start pruning immediately, and the ones without any photos would be among the first to go.

(in reply to joyinslavery)

Post #: 13

RE: What are dominant women looking for? - 7/26/2008 2:31:36 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

There is a thriving community where you are. I would hope that you're not only looking online. Which munches have you tried up your way. I hear the Gwinnet munch is quite good. Also, you have some good organizations up your way. Not to mention, My favorite club.

You might want to take a look and see what's closest to you.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Coupleofwhats)

Post #: 14

RE: What are dominant women looking for? - 7/26/2008 6:06:51 AM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

What women in general want is never going to be a list one can pick from. Personally, I love opinionated people. I love a good debate and controversy is something I thrive on. I've never been one for a "yes man" type... And in the same light, I want someone that understands that there are times when "yes Ma'am" is the only appropriate answer. For me, if you don't have opinions, if you don't question SOMETHING occasionally, if you are unwilling or unable to tell me if what I say or believe is wrong in some way or another at some point or another then I really have no use for you. I'm very much a realist and the reality of it all is that we are all human and prone to make mistakes, bad judgements, and poor choices on occasion. And if your natural self and your submissiveness isn't a place where you can and do stand up and state your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, needs, desires, and opinions then it isn't something that would interest me.

Like I said, we're all different and the best you can hope for is to open the lines of communication via these message boards and catch the attention of one that finds what you offer to be attractive. In the same light, my advice to you would be to use these message boards as a learning tool... it's easy to read what others say and decide from there who you would want sitting at your table and drinking coffee with you. Profiles just never really say enough to really get to know the person... their thoughts and opinions here on the boards do.

Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 15

RE: What are dominant women looking for? - 7/26/2008 7:11:29 AM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

Dominant women want capable men. This was covered in another thread. And of course this is in addition to all the other things - honesty, integrity, class, intelligence.

By capable, in this case, I'm not talking about service per se - I'm talking about men that are exceptionally good at something (a hobby, a profession) - - it's a nice leadership quality, shows confidence, etc. Make sure you tactfully and non-arrogantly communicate about what you are very good at (and enjoy being good at) and it comes across very well.

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to kinkyATL)

Post #: 16

RE: What are dominant women looking for? - 7/26/2008 7:22:26 AM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kinkyATL

What are dominant women looking for?

A body like Mistress Dolly's?

Do not throw that piece of pie at me, it was in question form.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to kinkyATL)

Post #: 17

RE: What are dominant women looking for? - 7/26/2008 9:50:39 AM

pixelslave

Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: joyinslavery

Your words not mine.

Yup! I wrote 'em, so I'll own 'em too! Wanna pin the target on my back 'ol buddy?

quote:

Have I told you you're genius?

Not that I recall. Would you mean it if you did?

quote:

Have fun.

That's the idea! You been riding your bike of late or taking the limo instead?

- pixel

_____________________________

Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to joyinslavery)

Post #: 18

RE: What are dominant women looking for? - 7/26/2008 9:54:38 AM

joyinslavery

Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

Well then...

You're a genius!

And no, public transport (with the cost of fuel and whatnot).

Have fun.

_____________________________

"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

(in reply to pixelslave)

Post #: 19

RE: What are dominant women looking for? - 7/26/2008 10:09:50 AM

BoiJen

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline

funny enough...by not totally relying on the web, I've seen the wide range of Domme's desires...there's a hint on how to moe forward in that statement if you look for it.

(in reply to joyinslavery)

Post #: 20

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