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RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 3:37:17 PM

OldBastardly1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

its more fun to think that we are evil, twisted and sick -- and most of our religions teach that the body is evil.

And some of us like to act like we are just oh-so evil and dark...that even the devil is scared of us ....we are soooooo dark and edgy, like nobody ever was that wasn't immortalized in print and legends...stories to be told at night, in a hushed voice.

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RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 4:31:19 PM

daddysliloneds

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they've all been listening to a little bit too much bruce springsteen

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RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 5:03:53 PM

missturbation

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

Why is it we still use terms such as dark, evil, twisted, perverted in reference to our desires? Is this our own fear of them, remains of past social programming, or something else altogther?

lovingpet

For me i use them because they fit. A lot of people nilla and lifestyle have labelled me dark, twisted, perverted. I'm pretty sure they meant it in a good way and thats fine by me. As softness said i think it depends on whether you use them negatively or positively that counts.

quote:

When I hear someone call themself 'Dark', 'Edgy', or 'Evil', I see them in the same light as the teenage emo kids running around malls- trying to convince everyone that they are depressed and just soooo different from everyone else. It's just another look at me flag. Not bad really, just leaning towards attention whoring.

Totally diagree.
Thats just like saying anyone who calls themself straight laced, normal or none kinky is attention whoring.

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RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 5:27:22 PM

variation30

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

Why is it we still use terms such as dark, evil, twisted, perverted in reference to our desires? Is this our own fear of them, remains of past social programming, or something else altogther?

lovingpet

who does that?

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Post #: 24

RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 5:58:56 PM

kiwisub12

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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

they've all been listening to a little bit too much bruce springsteen

ok - now thats dark and evil!!

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Post #: 25

RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 6:06:03 PM

KnightofMists

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quote:

Why is it we still use terms such as dark, evil, twisted, perverted in reference to our desires? Is this our own fear of them, remains of past social programming, or something else altogther?

who is "We"?

I am not one to use such terms to describe my intense, passionate, erotic desires. Of course... such terms as dark, evil, twisted and perverted is useful to bring distinction of ones desires from the mainstream of society. However, what once was a twisted, evil, perverted thing... can evolve to be mainstream.... at one time oral sex was twisted and perverted... some even saw it as evil.. I suppose a few still do... but it sure is in the mainstream of society today. Who knows what flogging, paddling, spanking will be tomorrow.

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RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 6:11:56 PM

beargonewild

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For some who use the terms "dark" or "twisted" isn't so much as to draw attention to themselves but to mean as a descriptive to mean there are aspects of ourselves that haven't been explored or understood as of yet. Human nature causes many to fear what they don't understand on the internal and external level and thus automatically label it as "evil" "dark" "perverted" etc. The aspects of my personality which I deem dark are based upon what I consider unpleasant or evil and that may or may not coincide with sociological standards.

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Post #: 27

RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 7:34:51 PM

lovingpet

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I don't know who does this specifically, but look over at the postings names on this very board. These words seem to have an acceptance. I want to ascertain whether individuals feel condoning these words' use is healthy. I know this will be subjective, as I am fond of cranking up the emotional charge of a discussion or play with such terms. Individually what is your opinion? What about on the community scale?

Thanks,
lovingpet

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Post #: 28

RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 7:45:30 PM

Leatherist

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Beating ass is fun.

Nuking hiroshima was dark.

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Post #: 29

RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 7:53:27 PM

lovingpet

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Hehe

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Post #: 30

RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 7:56:32 PM

Leatherist

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIfrqdru1B8

< Message edited by Leatherist -- 7/26/2008 7:59:52 PM >

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Post #: 31

RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 8:15:43 PM

RedMagic1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet
I want to ascertain whether individuals feel condoning these words' use is healthy.

My first (vanilla) girlfriend had a bad relationship with her mother. Her mother would say, "I love you," only when she wanted something. Any phrase can be polluted, not just the "dark" ones.

Words are tools. Hell, you can take a pen and either write your lover a poem, or stab your lover in the eye. Focus on motivation and effect, not on the tool itself.

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Post #: 32

RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 8:18:04 PM

Leatherist

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So when you talk about your darkness and evil-don't make me laugh at your silly conceits of what evil REALLY is, because very few of you will EVER come close.

And that is NOT a bad thing.

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Post #: 33

RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 8:39:53 PM

Lynnxz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

So when you talk about your darkness and evil-don't make me laugh at your silly conceits of what evil REALLY is, because very few of you will EVER come close.

And that is NOT a bad thing.

Well said- as usual.

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Post #: 34

RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 9:54:59 PM

ToysAndTies

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I think some people do things also with the motivation that 'ooo I'm so taboo' 'it's bad' However, I like going to munches and fetish events in tie dye and bright colors : )

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Post #: 35

RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 10:25:29 PM

CallaFirestormBW

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

I don't know who does this specifically, but look over at the postings names on this very board. These words seem to have an acceptance. I want to ascertain whether individuals feel condoning these words' use is healthy. I know this will be subjective, as I am fond of cranking up the emotional charge of a discussion or play with such terms. Individually what is your opinion? What about on the community scale?

Thanks,
lovingpet

I be.lieve that the words are as "healthy" as the person speaking/using them. Words, in and of themselves, only have as much weight as we wish to give them, and laying an onus on them of being somehow "wrong" or "inappropriate" is merely displaying personal bias.

For myself, I intend to continue to use them where and how I always have, and I have no vested interest in censoring others' choices, either.

CF

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Post #: 36

RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/26/2008 10:32:48 PM

Lordandmaster

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It's dark because most people are afraid of it. Even people with a vague sense that it's what they need usually try to suppress it and drown themselves in a vanilla life instead. At least that's familiar and predictable.

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Post #: 37

RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/27/2008 2:33:13 AM

eyesopened

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Curious. CM uses those descriptions under our names... twisted, evil, deviant, deranged, corrupted, wicked, etc. Usually the only time I see anyone find offense at CM's lables is when they have the cone and are designated Vanilla. -laughs-

Some of the activities we do within our bdsm and M/s D/s relationships would most certainly be evil, twisted, dark and horrible if not for the word "consent".

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Post #: 38

RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/27/2008 3:36:10 AM

HeavansKeeper

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Things that are different must be described as such. Otherwise it's a messy world where black is white and left is red.

It is common practice to view any alternatives from the stance of the norm.

"He's smart" ... as compared to the average intelligence.
"She's sexy" ... as compared to the average appearance.
"He's tall" ... as compared to the average height.
"She provides fantastic felatio" ... as compared to the average blowjob.

The same is true for likes and dislikes. Now that we've established there needs to be a way to define the difference between going to the mall and going to the dungeon to slap around the gimp, why is it dark?

Media. The presentation of power exchange has always (internet always) been a dark issue. Pain and humiliation surround the freakish clothing and outlandish behavior. Spikes! Red leather! Collars! Leashes! Tied up sex slaves! Spanked asses, red all over!

That is how the D/s world is portrayed which is an entirely different issue than what D/s really is.

Why does the public see these things as dark?

Because they're told they're wrong. "...And God saw the light, that it was good; and God divided the light from the darkness." If good is light, then bad (wrong) is dark? It's a natural leap, I suppose.

The society at large is told not to value the ideals of power exchange, and resist its temptation.

Be strong, never submit! Never surrender!
Sex is a sacred act, try to avoid at all costs!
Don't dress like a tramp! (Latex nurse costumes APPARENTLY violate this theory.)
Gentlemen never strike ladies!

Thats how I see it.

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Post #: 39

RE: Why Is It Dark? - 7/27/2008 5:51:13 AM

Lynnxz

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I think this attitude of 'Ooo.... I'm dark and scary and Oooo so evil... because I like to whack my wife with a spatula' can't be doing much for the public acceptance of bdsm. Granted, there's some of you who think it makes you special to have shock value... but the same people will probably bitch when your favorite bondage porn site gets pulled down.

People are scared of differences- it's something I take advantage of when I run a haunted house (Did you know you'll get more screams if you act crippled? Zombies, on the other hand, are usually ignored) It's another reason the kids at the mall dress in black, rake their hair over their face, and sit in the corner writing poetry to post on myspace... because it's different, and they like the (negative) attention it receives.

In my eyes, there's nothing really dark going on with bdsm. Unknown? I challenge you to do something in the bedroom that has never been done before. Even if it's against tos... I bet you there are hundreds of thousands that have done it before. But regardless, people feel the need to act 'evil' when they tie each other up by the toes, and it's fricking horrible for the Kinky PR people, who are trying to convince the world around them that kink ISN'T bad. Drama whores are a PR nightmare... doesn't matter if it's Brittany Spears, or a sub who likes to break her family in gently to the fact that she has a master. "Daddy branded his name on my ass with only a microwave, and a cat food can!"

Now, I'm not saying everyone should blend in like a herd of sheep... just don't be so damn obnoxious about being different. I'd say that aprox 90% of the people that know me, know that I do pro work in the bdsm area. Do they care? Hell no... because I've made the choice to be an adult about it, and give them the info they can handle... showing up to a party full of whips and chains can be a lil awkward (Except for that one time at taco bell) Some of my friends know vaugely that I'm a 'dominatrix', Some of them know where my website is, and where my videos are posted. And no one has a problem with me... go figure.

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Post #: 40

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