RE: Fakers and game players

RE: Fakers and game players (Full Version)

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Kyami -> RE: Fakers and game players (11/16/2005 3:10:39 PM)
Just my opinion on this But you seem to be a bit obsessed with the fact that she would not answer you emails after? I agree with others who had stated...since she did not show, the best bet would have been to just say "ok, it's her loss", instead of trying to call and mail her constantly.

FTMaster -> RE: Fakers and game players (11/16/2005 3:19:36 PM)
Closed

happypervert -> RE: Fakers and game players (11/16/2005 3:59:16 PM)
quote: however, it was still my loss and waste of time last night I sent her two messages which she hasn't even opened. I was just curious to see if she would even respond, which, since she hasn't even opened the messages, confirms my low opinion of her. So this happened last night and you're trashing her here already? Maybe she has a life and just hasn't gotten around to you yet. I think every post you make just confirms everyone's low opinion of you.

FTopinMichigan -> RE: Fakers and game players (11/16/2005 4:46:24 PM)
I remained friends with my ex lover. He had arranged for his son to come over and fix my motorcycle, and as usual, they didn't show. No courtesy call. No message left. No e-mail. Nothing. I was upset, but also expecting it, as it was his pattern. Sometimes it's just hard not to be angry, even if it's expected. I mean really...how much time does it take to call, or say I'm not coming, right? Well...guess why he didn't show or call...he was dead! He met his death in a horrible auto accident. I "never" jump to conclusions about people after this incident. I never judge a no-show as inconsideration, unless I know the facts. I'd much rather have them be inconsiderate, rather than the alternative my dear friend met. K

FTMaster -> RE: Fakers and game players (11/16/2005 4:47:51 PM)
Closed

LadiesBladewing -> RE: Fakers and game players (11/16/2005 4:59:37 PM)
You know, FTMaster, this is just part and parcel of drawing from the pool of the public scene. There is a vanilla phrase that says "You've got to kiss a lot of frogs before you'll meet your handsome prince", and this is no different than any other bit of life. We met, or were stood up, by COUNTLESS individuals, both individuals we'd met through collarme and individuals we met through other venues -- online and off -- before we met our Sunshine. Five -years- of patient searching, exploring, meeting people and having a less than stellar fit... and most of those we never heard from again. Yes, it's rude, but some people seem to feel that agreeing in person, then breaking away cleanly with no contact is the best way to tell someone "You really aren't a good fit for me." You are an adult. Part of adult life is getting on with it. You might try looking closer to home -- maybe even in your home town. For some folks, it's a 6 or 7 hour drive to their nearest munch, but going once a quarter still gives you a chance to get known and get seen. Enjoy yourself, and enjoy your life. Get out, meet people... there are no shortcuts. After that, everything else fills itself in. Lady Zephyr

FTMaster -> RE: Fakers and game players (11/16/2005 5:03:55 PM)
Closed

FTMaster -> RE: Fakers and game players (11/16/2005 5:21:26 PM)
Closed

redheadedfire4u -> RE: Fakers and game players (11/16/2005 6:16:50 PM)
quote: If we don't try to address problems like this, and just continue to accept that, "well, this is the way life is..." it will only get worse, not better. I guess I am the lone wolf crying in the wildenress against rudeness and boorish behavour that is so common these days. no one likes rude or boorish behaviour, no one is saying what she did is right, only exploring possible reasons for her behaviour. I am sorry if You find my thoughts and opinons disrespectful I do not mean them to be such, but by some of Your comments in these post are You not also guilty of such behavior, are You not perpetuating it rather than being a lone wolf decrying it. quote: Whipmebeetme100, I am especially pleased to see that you at least understand why I was angry and frustrated. Yes, is it small of me to call her a "human piece of crap..." sure it is! I put that in there to get attention, similar to a slap on the wrist. Over half of Your posts are as rude and borrish as the behavior You complain about. Yes I and others understand You were angry and fraustrated, but surely there is a better way to get attention than to repeat the mistakes of others and duplicate their brand of behaviour. I am sorry for Your experience and wish You better in the future. warm smiles to all

FTMaster -> RE: Fakers and game players (11/16/2005 6:32:45 PM)
Closed

Kyami -> RE: Fakers and game players (11/16/2005 7:11:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FTMaster Hey, happypervy buddy, You are one of a handful that has completely sided with the submissive who basically lied to me throughout the whole process. If your brain can process written material, you will see that most of the others, even those critical of me at first, have reconsidered, and at least see my point that she should have told me she had changed her mind or had a problem and couldn't show. That is just basic common curtesy, or don't you see that? You must be willing to accept that kind of low behavour as "normal." Hmmm, I wonder if other potential partners you may be interested in would like the fact that you think it is perfectly legitimate for someone to agree to a meeting, then not show and not even explain why. If you want to accept that kind of low standard, I certainly can't and won't stop you. Many still maintain that I made mistakes, and I am even willing to admit that I could have misread her. My whole point, which is rather easy to see, even though your are seemlingly blind to it, is that she WAS interested, throughout the WHOLE process, then just disappeard with no explanation. But go ahead and side with someone you have not met, who didn't treat you badly, and has yet to post a message concerning this matter. I am not going to tell her this discussion has gone on. That is for her to find out...I doubt she will....but if she does, then she is free to post her side of the story. I would LOVE to hear it and welcome it. So much for me being a cry baby. I am just interested in debate and discussion. You have an odd world view, if you think I am in the wrong in this situation...but...it is your choice. Read the other posts. I think most at least agree in a basic way that I was wronged. "Everyone's low opinion of me?" There are very few that openly have a "low opinion of me." Some, actually support and agree that I was wronged....so....sorry to ruin your small world, but that negates your use of the word "everybody." Let me help you out....how about "some people have a low....etc..." I could agree with that, and it would have made me respect your post. But the way you have worded it, you reveal that you aren't all that thoughtful. Actually, I just read your profile....you appear much smarter than the drivel you have posted concerning this thread....what gives? Open your eyes and read....even read the posts you disagree with, go ahead...it may just help you out some. Hmmm, here's one The way you have gone on and on about this, is, in and of itself.....rude and boorish /shrug But, each to his own I guess

Tempestspet -> RE: Fakers and game players (11/16/2005 8:38:27 PM)
But then the way everyone keeps rehashing and griping about it, pointing at it.... that's getting a little rude boorish too...don't you think? I've read several times here where he said that yes he made mistakes...but then she basically started the whole problem by her behavior. I still maintain that if the sub where to write here.. people would attack her instead of him. But she not here, and he is. So he gets it instead. Drama, drama Tempest's pet jennifer

stef -> RE: Fakers and game players (11/16/2005 9:24:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FTMaster Closed What a poltroon. ~stef

kc692 -> RE: Fakers and game players (11/16/2005 9:34:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FTMaster I must say, I much more appreciative of the responses and comments I am seeing concerning my posts about the rude and irresponsible behaviour of a submissive I interacted with the other day. I do understand EVERYONE who thinks I may have done something to discourage her which made her feel that her only option was to not show....but...since she doesn't (and didn't) have the common curtesy to tell me why she decided not to show (or if something happened, a flat tire, family member got sick....etc...) I can only assume that she was a fake and a liar. Again, if she had contacted me and told me WHY she decided not to meet for play, then I would never have needed to start this thread in the first place. Thank (most of) you all for finally udnerstanding the real point. She didn't tell me she wasn't coming. She did the disappearing act. That is unreasonable. The purpose of me starting this thread was 1.) to vent some frustration and anger (the first post) and 2.) to hopefully begin awareness of this type of behaviour, expose it and hopefully for all of us to find ways to avoid it. I would NEVER have asked her if she wanted to meet me later that evening if I didn't think the lunch had gone well. Again, I am not an ignoramous! I felt that we had a good and positive "vanilla" meeting in public, we had discussed every issue needed to be discussed, we both agreed that this is what we wanted, so I made the invitation to play that night and she accepted. Whether any of you would do the same is really irrelevent. It is what I proposed and she agreed. Will I move on, will I get over it? Of course I will get over it. Will I give up on trying to find casual play partners for BDSM, I suppose only time will tell. But I am through getting any hopes up. Like one of the members posted, I must just start with the assumption that EVERYONE I interact with from this site is most likely a game player and a fake, until they prove to me otherwise. I usually take that stance, but this particular submissive did an excellent job of pulling off the fakery of being genuinely interested. The ultimate reality to this unfortunate situation for all us seeking partners of any sort, is that there are just too many rude and irresponsible people around these days in all walks of life, which, is a sad reality that we should all lament. FTMaster I probably should scroll down to the end of the thread to see if this has been addressed to this particular comment: I usually take that stance, but this particular submissive did an excellent job of pulling off the fakery of being genuinely interested. Mmm...did the other half a dozen do the same excellent job of fakery? I have talked with wonderful people on this site, other sites, and real life. I have also met fakes from all three places. Thanks to those that hit the quote button! When starting a thread that the OP seems to stand by some of his comments which are still here, and has totally deleted others, it helps to follow the discussion. I do not know why at this point half of his comments seem to be deleted in totality, but can understand why in some cases when I see the quotes in replies. The main disparity I see is this; if you want casual play, why are you taking this so hard, especially as you seem to be meeting so many? If you were looking for your "one" I would maybe understand your frustration a little more. Casual play is just that, casual. Yes, her manners may have been lacking, but for some reason, it seems that some subs have ingrained in them in part by online and other culture that you don't say no to a dominant, so they disappear. I have seen some in chat rooms that I have talked privately with on prior occasions, and could tell they were in distress with a conversation with a dominant, but thought somehow that they were "not allowed" to disengage from the conversation, because they were submissive. Do I believe that? Not in any way, shape or form! Does it seen to actually be a truth at times? Unbelievably, yes. There is no way that I see your original question might be answered, unless she herself were here and would volunteer the reason. Look at the bright side, you weren't looking to invest any feelings, just casual play, so treat the bad ending just as casually as you would have probably treated the consummation of your meeting, had it happened.

wipmebeetme100 -> RE: Closed (11/16/2005 9:59:20 PM)
quote: Closed What??? Is this the... "I am taking my toys and going home"

Tempestspet -> RE: Closed (11/16/2005 10:04:12 PM)
No, I think this is more the people don't listen, and don't stick with what the OP asked for...so stops wasting their time with...kinda thing. When you want discussion, not finger pointing, drama crap... one tends to just throw up their hands, and seek people who can keep to subject, and discuss... But hey...what could I possibly know... Tempest's pet jennifer

FTopinMichigan -> RE: Closed (11/17/2005 6:14:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Tempestspet No, I think this is more the people don't listen, and don't stick with what the OP asked for...so stops wasting their time with...kinda thing. When you want discussion, not finger pointing, drama crap... one tends to just throw up their hands, and seek people who can keep to subject, and discuss... But hey...what could I possibly know... Open "discussion" usually brings about contrary opinions on the topic, when a question is asked, and unfortunately for the OP, he only felt the need to rant about a bad situation for him...and people responded accordingly. Isn't everyone entitled to their opinion? When asked for opinions...usually you get them. When someone rants, people get passionate to respond. Deleting the initial post (rant), and almost all remarks thereafter does not make this thread go away, or the feelings attached to the original concerns. Deleting the posts does not make the issue go away, but it again, speaks volumes about the person that chose to edit, after the fact, when things weren't going they way he wanted to be heard. Most people that rant, or complain here, want validation for their feelings. He's getting it from you and a few others, but the majority are trying to form opinions based on what he's offered, in his now deleted posts. (Thanks to those that quoted.) I'm with stef on this one, in that "poltroon" is a good fit for description here. (Had to look the word up too...thanks, stef. [;)] My word of the day! [:D]) quote: ORIGINAL: wipmebeetme100 "I am taking my toys and going home" That seems to fit too! [:D] The proof is in the posting....er, the "deleting!" I would venture a guess that this departing woman, from the original meeting was quite wise in her decision to take a powder. Brava to her intuition, because it's sounding more like that could be the reason she did not return to him. I wish for them both to have better encounters in the future. K

justatoy2 -> RE: Fakers and game players (11/17/2005 6:58:24 AM)
to me, it seems...someone who posts a question and then deletes his part of the discussion when things don't go his way just shows a level of immaturity. Part of what is wonderful about these boards is that opinions differ. Otherwise why bother posting. He came here either looking for advice or a place to rant. Either way he portrayed himself in a certain light. I was actually feeling very understanding towards his frutstration in this situation, but when one deletes their posts, it screams pouting lil boy to me. And now i just have to say..Dude she just wasn't that into you..move on already.

Tempestspet -> RE: Fakers and game players (11/17/2005 7:52:36 AM)
That's true that people are allowed their opinions. And from all your responses, I am apparently the only one that has had any discourse beyond this thread. When I saw it was closed.... I was curious why. And politely persued it. Now I now why, and can tell you positively... You are all wrong. But hey, that's not nearly as fun as making cutting remarks to and about the op now is it??? Should he have handled it differently yes, and I told him so....didn't feel the need to get overly pasionate about it....it's not affecting my wellbeing or my life. There's no need to get nasty, over overly concerened. That's called being objective. He has also admitted to any wrong that he did concerning that meeting. It still does not negate the fact that the girl should have written him and e-mail, called, or something. There is no excuse for bad behavior. Well, there's lots of excuses, they just all suck. Think outside the drama, and fun, and the mask the internet gives you. Do people react this way with their friends in person? I know that these people aren't friends.... how in the world would that happen being treated this way. I happen to have lifestyle friends on here... I have no idea if they read the boards or not... but they would be able to attest to the fact that I'm the same here, as in person. Most are not.... this I know by the countless posts bosting that very claim. That's a shame. Tempest's pet jennifer

perverseangelic -> RE: Fakers and game players (11/17/2005 9:04:13 AM)
I do wish we weren't able to utterly remove our posts after they've been made. I understand frustration, definatly, but it makes someone look so muchworse when they delete everything, not to mention being confusing for the other people who want to read the thread. Why not just walk away? That's as easy as deleting it all, if not easier.

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