LadyPact
Posts: 32566
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quote:
ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper
I would say sadism and masochism are still deviant behaviors, but that's not what I'm talking about. There is a stereotypical view of the BDSM world. As the acts inspired by power exchange, sadism, and masochism find their way into vanilla bedrooms, do you think the stereotypical view gets better or worse?
I know the stereotypes don't matter, and should have no bearing on what people do, but I feel its important. For all the demographics I am a part of, I try to "raise the bar", for the stereotype.
When someone hears I am My Pet's owner, do I want them to think "He is a dark, abusive man who is using her"? No, I'd rather something along the lines of "He's pretty kinky - Good for him." "Protecting" the stereotype is the difference.
So you asked "As compared to what?" but I can't really answer that, it's not what I was talking about.
I could be wrong, but it might be two different things. People don't tend to see the stereotype when they see themselves. As more folks are adding a bit more 'flavor' to their vanilla bedrooms, I don't think it necessarily changes the stereotype that has been brought about by bad porn and vivid imaginations. A little slap and tickle during sex isn't the same as living this structure in other areas of life.
Now, as for the other comment about either protecting the stereotype or raising the bar, I find that to be something a little different. Stereotypes are only dispelled by those included in that category of people giving information where only conjecture and myth were had before. It can mean answering when people are willing to ask questions and hear the answers. Truthfully, I don't think that's going to happen the with the majority of the people out there, but there are those who are willing to learn about people who are different than themselves. This is where the opportunity lies.
I don't know much about your personal situation, whether you have the ability to be open about your BDSM interests or not. I do happen to have that ability, to a degree. I'll be quite frank with you. I take advantage of that. I use it for this very purpose. I can't tell you how many times a vanilla friend has asked Me about an activity or a situation, I've given them the answer, and their first reaction goes something like, "I didn't know it was like that".
To Me, this isn't one of those areas were people get in a huff about the lifestyle being shoved down the public's throat. That's another debate entirely. Even when I'm asked about My life by those who don't share My interests, I still put out that standard question that keeps the conversation in check. "Do you really want to know?" Most people know their own character enough to know how capable they are to hear what might come back to them.
I think I'm rambling a bit at this point, but I wanted to add one more thing. While many people are curious about the sexual aspect of wiitwd, those aren't the questions that I answer most often. More often than not, the questions are about the dynamic, roles, or how things work in day to day life. If that doesn't change people's perceptions about the stereotype they might have for us, nothing will.
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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT
Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD
Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.
Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread
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. Although keeping it a secret probably kept some foolish meddlers away, it also kept loads of great people away. I think the mainstream acceptance has helped give some people the courage they needed to allow themselves to explore and find happiness within the realm of kink.
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