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WizardOfDelphi -> RE: How would you punish a sub who disobeyed (8/17/2008 2:28:20 PM)
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Subs come in a rather broad spectrum of options. Some are extremely loyal and obedient out of the box. For these, punishment is very rarely, if ever, warranted. They want to please and obey, if there are problems they probably just need better direction or some such. Other people have covered this situation quite well in this thread already.
But obey or leave isn't always a valid stance. It depends on the nature of the submissive and the relationship. In a strict, BDSM / leather household where the submissive is collared and the dominant expects complete obedience - that makes sense. But many of us live and play in other realms.
Personally, I generally require pretty strict obedience. I try to be very fair, just and considerate of what I ask / decide, but once I've stated something I do expect obedience. This is the model I prefer. However, sometimes I do find myself with bratty or otherwise disobedient submissives. These type also exist and they aren't going to hop-to anything they are told no matter who you are or how you treat them. They like to push back and be reminded of who is in charge. They are willing to obey, but psychologically they need reminders or to be pushed at least sometimes. For this type of submissive punishment can be helpful. But, its very tricky because you don't want to be rewarding them for wanting attention or pain. That starts a cycle that I personally find very unsatisfying.
Some dominants only want completely obedient submissives, some like bratty ones, some like both and who knows what other possibilities or combinations exist out there.
The bottom line is that sometimes punishment is effective in D/s relationships and sometimes it is either not effective or warranted. It depends greatly on the dynamics of the relationship and the situation.
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