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RE: Fibbing so friends don't worry... - 7/29/2008 11:00:56 PM

CalifChick

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Apparently we were not amusing enough for the GREEDY GIRL and she decided to start calling other peeps. Harrrummmppphhhh!!!

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(tired and sore and ouchie butt and going to bed now)

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RE: Fibbing so friends don't worry... - 7/29/2008 11:06:58 PM

GreedyTop

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*TACKLEHUGS THE AMAZING CALI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

(and it wasnt that y'all werent fun.. I just wanted to share the fun as much as possible with those that couldn't make it...)

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RE: Fibbing so friends don't worry... - 7/30/2008 3:39:36 AM

sunshinemiss

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hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....
It's ok... GT sends great post cards. I got one with a Sunshine Bridge. You gotta love a girl like that.
*hugs GT and goes back to bed where mah butt belongs.

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RE: Fibbing so friends don't worry... - 7/30/2008 4:01:17 AM

LadyRainfire

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Is simply not telling considered a "fib"? That's where my ass gets in trouble. I don't tell what's going on then when it's found out, I get in trouble for not telling what's happening with me. I usually don't want to bother or worry people, or figure they're busy and have enough on their plate.

(Hey, Sunshine, was that grammatically correct? How about my spelling? *wink* )

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RE: Fibbing so friends don't worry... - 7/30/2008 4:45:45 AM

camille65

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Jeez I do it a lot. Whenever friends ask how I'm feeling I always answer that I'm okay, simply because there is no point in telling them the truth.

When I used to tell the truth it made them uncomfortable and they would worry so I figured why put them through the worry when there is absolutely nothing they can do? They don't know how to act around me so I fake being okay.

This isn't done in person because it would be obviously a lie heh, but phone calls and emails.. I say that I'm doing pretty well.

It is only online and with my owner that I tell the truth on how I feel because... it gets to be too much inside of me. It helps me to be able to talk about it or even just say the words.

I don't like it when my friends ask how I'm feeling, if I'm feeling better because it is always the same answer and over the years it has cost a couple of friendships. It is the only thing that I am comfortable lying about, usually lying makes me feel crappy inside.

Hopefully this post makes sense. I'm deliriously tired and my brain feels a bit numb today. I detest showing that in real life, don't mind so much showing it here.

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RE: Fibbing so friends don't worry... - 7/30/2008 5:39:27 AM

DiurnalVampire

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I dont make up answers, I simply omit. I find it easier to not mention certain things to keep people from worrying. If someone asks a bad question, my standard answer is Not now, or I dont want to talk about it at the moment.
They tend never to ask again, especially if they forget bout it or think they have annoyed me by asking in the first place

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RE: Fibbing so friends don't worry... - 7/30/2008 5:46:23 AM

sunshinemiss

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyRainfire

Is simply not telling considered a "fib"? That's where my ass gets in trouble. I don't tell what's going on then when it's found out, I get in trouble for not telling what's happening with me. I usually don't want to bother or worry people, or figure they're busy and have enough on their plate.

(Hey, Sunshine, was that grammatically correct? How about my spelling? *wink* )

tut tut chica chica.
I said in the other thread that I don't correct people... And I don't look for errors, if they pop out at me I just ignore it. And besides, I did offer you a job... sigh, how soon they forget.

However, philosophically, as for fibbing and not telling the information. I think there is a difference between discretion and privacy versus lying by omission. That difference is - gosh, I don't know where the line is. Perhaps it is different for each of us. For me, it's about intent. Was the intent malicious or cowardly or was the intent to keep from hurting someone or to maintain some boundaries? But even as I type that I think of the time when doctor's used to not tell people if they were ill. Is hurting someone now going to be worse than hurting someone later? Hmmmm and interesting question... worthy of ponderance.

Just my opinion.
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RE: Fibbing so friends don't worry... - 7/30/2008 5:57:24 AM

LadyRainfire

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In my particular case, it's health issues that I felt were over a boundary that I was uncomfortable sharing with most people, including most of my friends and family, until I had concrete answers. Very few, and I mean very few, people knew that I had a close cancer scare earlier this year where it was thought I had pancreatic cancer due to a growth on my pancreas. I dropped 30 pounds in 5 weeks and was sicker than a dog. It wasn't cancer and I got a final clean bill of health in May, just a few weeks before flying out to Lumus. But in the meantime, maybe 6 people knew what I was going through. Because as I was afraid, once word got out, I had more people approach me with "I heard you have terminal cancer!"

Ghouls..... That's why I didn't tell anyone.

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RE: Fibbing so friends don't worry... - 7/30/2008 6:54:17 AM

wandersalone

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I can definitely relate to your experience Rain. I went through a cancer scare a couple of years ago and it wasn't until a couple of weeks after the actual surgery that I got the all clear. It was not helpful to have my best friend who is a nurse burst into tears and tell me the high mortality rate when I initially told her about what was happening. I found it easier to avoid her for a while!

ps. So glad you ahve got the all clear. It is a wonderful feeling isn't it?

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RE: Fibbing so friends don't worry... - 7/30/2008 7:04:58 AM

LadyRainfire

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Yes, it is, Wanders. The growth on my pancreas is apparently right between my stomach and pancreas, wedged against an artery. As a result, it was almost impossible to find a doctor to even look at it. Once it was discovered, only one specialist in the area would even see me for a consult and that was with the clear understanding that due to the difficulty and location, should further treatment be needed, I would be flown out to Seattle. Once everything came back clear, I broke down in tears. As you can relate, there's no explaining the emotions and having people automatically assume I was dying didn't help me. What really pissed me off was the monsters going "hey, when you die, can I have such and such?" Grrrrrr....... I ain't dying but you're about to!

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RE: Fibbing so friends don't worry... - 7/30/2008 7:23:39 AM

wandersalone

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Yep it is overwhelming when you get the results that everything is fine. I still have scans every now and again even though my doc is almost 100% sure I wont have any problems in the future and for the few days while waiting for the results I get reminded of the awful months I had of everyone telling me I was going to kick the bucket!

Thankfully I was able to keep my sense of humour throughout it all though it was weird finding myself consoling everyone else most of the time as they were more upset than I was. I have found this to happen very commonly when people have chronic or severe health issues.... they spend most of their time protecting others or trying to help others not to worry so much. (which is I guess what this topic is about)

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RE: Fibbing so friends don't worry... - 7/30/2008 7:30:23 AM

LadyRainfire

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Yea, I'm supposed to go in every 6 or 12 months but I'm not going to have health insurance here for a bit and not sure exactly how expensive the scans and tests I need are going to be so since my results are fairly recent, I'm going to go with the all clear for now and worry about them later.

The doctor was fairly certain I'm good to go so I'll get checked again in a year or so.

It's ironic though how the person you'd think would be the one needing reassurance and comforting is the one who ends up doing the comforting. In my case, I had only person who was there for me, Lumus, in all others, I was having to be strong and tell them everything was fine. Funny, eh?

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RE: Fibbing so friends don't worry... - 7/30/2008 8:05:35 AM

pahunkboy

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Ok hun, Here it is.

"I have had a very stresful day. Lets keep the conversation light, if you dont mind"

and

"I am having a bad day, next topic"

Yes. I have fibbed.

"We can talk about this later"

I have used these 3 lines- they are truthfull and they work. If they dont work, "this conversation is over, I will talk to you later, good bye"

When I am upset I am a monster. So people that know me easily go along with it.

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