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RE: "You're not a REAL sub!" - 7/28/2008 2:29:21 PM   
katie978


Posts: 352
Joined: 7/21/2007
Status: offline 		Given that you've already told them, pretty clearly, that you're not interested in being treated like they're treating you, you need to look and see why that message isn't getting through.

Most probably, these so-called friends are huge jerks that feel the need to harrass you for being submissive (or not), and outing you to humiliate and embarrass you. If they can't get the message, and still feel the need to hurt you-get rid of them. However you must. Oh...and if they out you, return the favor.


The other possibilities is that your Master allows you to be treated poorly. If he talks about you in a diminishing way, or allows others to do so, he is granting them permission to step all over you like that. It's possible that he belittles you and insults you behind your back to your "friends". Hopefully, this isn't the case.


The last possibility is that you let yourself be treated like this. Do you loudly and strongly state you don't want to be treated like that? Or do you murmur under your breath once for them to stop, then continue to tolerate their bad behavior for several hours following? Are you standing up for yourself, or are you allowing them to harrass you unhindered in real-life then whining about it online?

I hope you find the reason they're behaving badly, and, if the case so happens, that you kick them out of your life. And be a little less trusting with who you tell in the future.

_____________________________



"That's the plan. Rule the world. You and me. Anyday ::wink::"



(in reply to simpleplan2)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: "You're not a REAL sub!" - 7/28/2008 4:06:32 PM   
StrongSpirit


Posts: 575
Joined: 4/10/2005
Status: offline 		Think about what you would say/do if someone said:

You are not a real <insert country name here>

or my favorite:  You are not a real man/woman

These phrases are insulting.   People stating it should be ignored at worst, educated at best.

(in reply to katie978)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: "You're not a REAL sub!" - 7/28/2008 4:10:13 PM   
simpleplan2


Posts: 461
Joined: 7/5/2008
Status: offline 		Exactly.  I honestly don't think it would bother me because I would consider the source.  I worry much more about what he (although there is no current "he") thinks of me or even what I think of me than I do what random others think of me.

(in reply to StrongSpirit)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: "You're not a REAL sub!" - 7/28/2008 4:43:27 PM   
YoungBlondeSlave


Posts: 953
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline 		i suppose i should clarify a lot of details that keep popping up. i guess they are more acquaintances than "friends." Because i only hang out with them to attend events i don't have the balls to attend alone. Sometimes to places to sate my curiousity about certain aspects of the lifestyle. But, you are all right, i should definitely working distancing myself from them and they drama which they cause me and work on finding new people to attend these events but, damn it's difficult. i don't know how to go about finding Doms and subs to develop platonic relationships with. i suppose i ought to ask advice as to how to go about doing that as well. Also, when i made a reference to a Dom and how i would behave with them i did not mean to infer that i was owned. i am not, i'm still hoping to find one but at this time i'm putting the search on pause so that i can get other things in my life organized so that i don't bring a whole mess of baggage and other stressors to a new relationship. i should hope that if i was with one he would not allow others to treat me the way i have been by these individuals.

(in reply to YoungBlondeSlave)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: "You're not a REAL sub!" - 7/28/2008 4:46:50 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline
quote:


or my favorite: You are not a real man/woman


i like the: your not a real woman because you dont wear dresses or skirts or heels or makeup...or whatever....like appearance has anything to do with being a woman.. lol...


_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.
I am flawed.
Imperfect.
MUST SPANK!!!
SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to StrongSpirit)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: "You're not a REAL sub!" - 7/28/2008 4:50:08 PM   
CurtisLee


Posts: 2
Joined: 7/28/2008
Status: offline 		I am definately a submissive, soul, in Denver, CO 80236. I am seeking a Mistress, or a female switch. I have been bisexual, all of my life, and I am very intrigued by the "cuckold" lifestyle.
                                                                                                            Sincerely,
                                                                                                             Curtis Lee

_____________________________

I am a lifelong bisexual, submissive male, living in Denver, CO 80236, since 1975. I am hoping to connect with a Mistress, through this forum.
I am a very oral submissive, paralyzed from the waist down since 1975.

(in reply to YoungBlondeSlave)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: "You're not a REAL sub!" - 7/28/2008 4:53:56 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		i am not here to judge your friends  we have flawed friends we still like them  even if they thing certain things of us  its when they zap your energy and become vampires of the positive life force you project its time to cut them loose

    so what makes you happy be a sub  if they do not like it who are they to say   what makes their ideas better then anyone elses  reverse the question to them and say  by what standards do you  think i am not     remeber faulty logic is a logic that is made up of fashionable standards not facts    

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: "You're not a REAL sub!" - 7/28/2008 4:57:36 PM   
katie978


Posts: 352
Joined: 7/21/2007
Status: offline 		  I think a good place to start finding friends is right here! Make your profile active, and if you're only seeking friends, say so!

Sure, you'll still get wankers (::ahem:: curtislee) sending you messages, but you might be able to find someone local to do fun, BDSMy things with.

Granted...it appears to be rather difficult. I've been seeking "Friends only" for a year now, on here, and have only found internet buddies, no one local. Maybe there's some other trick to it ^_^


_____________________________



"That's the plan. Rule the world. You and me. Anyday ::wink::"



(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: "You're not a REAL sub!" - 7/28/2008 5:07:14 PM   
SophiaCorrupted


Posts: 69
Joined: 2/3/2008
Status: offline 		What did the Quznos sandwich say to the Subway sandwich...?

(in reply to simpleplan2)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: "You're not a REAL sub!" - 7/28/2008 5:07:27 PM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		are all you guys kids or what? 

common sense is:

knowing if somone is out to always hurt you, dis-respect you and treat you like an idiot, as well as trying to intentionally disrupt things between your family, then they are not your friend...

knowing to thine ownself be true and that your self esteem, as well as you, can not be brought down a notch, unless you allow the way that others feel about you to effect you...

knowing that you don't owe anyone any explanations unless they are paying your way or if you work for them...

knowing when to act like an adult, blow off all the drama, and find bigger and better things to waste your time worrying about besides how a bunch of fucktards treat you or what they think of you...

knowing when to find other places to hang out when the places you used to enjoy are no longer fun.

ahhhhh, but that would take common sense

(in reply to YoungBlondeSlave)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: "You're not a REAL sub!" - 7/28/2008 6:05:48 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SophiaCorrupted

What did the Quznos sandwich say to the Subway sandwich...?


im only $5 after 5 and your still full price! hahahaha

< Message edited by faerytattoodgirl -- 7/28/2008 6:06:08 PM >

_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.
I am flawed.
Imperfect.
MUST SPANK!!!
SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to SophiaCorrupted)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: "You're not a REAL sub!" - 7/28/2008 6:19:39 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		fucktard is that a new brand of pop tart or something lol

(in reply to daddysliloneds)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: "You're not a REAL sub!" - 7/28/2008 6:40:06 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: YoungBlondeSlave

BUT, when we're out and i have an opinion, speak my mind or let someone know they're pissing me off they tell me i'm not a sub. And it hurts, a lot. i've almost left events with them because they've become so condescending and rude to me and treat me like i'm some sort of moron.
 
i need some help. i don't know what else to tell them. Can people really be this hard-headed and not get what i'm trying to say? i've literally told them:
"Yes, i am a sub. But, i'm not YOUR sub. So i don't think that i should act like yours, i think that i should be treated as equal because i am and because i treat you both with the respect that i expect and deserve. It's not your business to tell the world what i am and what i'm not. If people need to know then i will be the one to tell them not you."


If this hasnt gotten it into their head, you do not need to associate with these people. They are not going to wise up and they are not going to change. You are not their sub, and if they cant wrap their heads around that thats their issue not yours.

Fox is my slave, and he is more than capable of being VERY nasty and caustic. And, assuming he has a reason to do so, he is perfectly allowed to. That doesnt make him any less a sub, or my slave. He is MY SUB. He is everyone elses equal. They can either deal or avoid us. You might want to take the same stand. IF they cant deal, you dont need them.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to YoungBlondeSlave)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: "You're not a REAL sub!" - 7/28/2008 8:15:55 PM   
CurtisLee


Posts: 2
Joined: 7/28/2008
Status: offline 		Still looking for my Goddess, in Denver, to worship.. <smile>

_____________________________

I am a lifelong bisexual, submissive male, living in Denver, CO 80236, since 1975. I am hoping to connect with a Mistress, through this forum.
I am a very oral submissive, paralyzed from the waist down since 1975.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: "You're not a REAL sub!" - 7/28/2008 8:19:42 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		I agree with DiurnalVampire -- and everyone else who said the same thing.  OP, I sure hope you're noticing a pattern here.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to CurtisLee)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: "You're not a REAL sub!" - 7/28/2008 8:24:53 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		If the way they see a sub is not the way you see it-you aren't-to them.

Get over it.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to YoungBlondeSlave)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: "You're not a REAL sub!" - 7/28/2008 8:35:07 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		Ich bin einer U-boat.

Jawohl..

_____________________________

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also Facebook
http://stella.baker.tripod.com/
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(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: "You're not a REAL sub!" - 7/28/2008 8:40:53 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

Ich bin einer U-boat.

Jawohl..


Das Boot, es gut ist.

Fueur  ein,!!!!!!! Fueur Zwei!!! Fueur Drei!!!!

Boom.

< Message edited by Leatherist -- 7/28/2008 8:41:38 PM >

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: "You're not a REAL sub!" - 7/28/2008 8:42:44 PM   
Psychodahlia


Posts: 16
Joined: 3/11/2008
Status: offline 		I don't have any new advice to add, except you might want to ask you Dom if s/he would kindly tell these losers to stfu. Maybe hearing it from a 'real' Dom would convince them that you are a 'real' sub.

As for whether you are 'really' a sub, fuck it. If you believe you are and act in a way you believe subs should act, then to hell with those pinheads.

(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 39
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