EEEK! Seeking advice on 24/7

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EEEK! Seeking advice on 24/7 - 7/28/2008 4:54:53 PM

Reigna

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Joined: 8/27/2007
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My sub's moving in with me in two weeks. After two full years of managing a cross-town relationship, we will be full-time. EEEEK!!

Like us, this relationship is in many ways fairly ordinary by vanilla standards. We have houses, cars, 401Ks, insurance, furniture, children from previous marriages, etc. Suffice to say, he won't be kept in a latex catsuit and hood 24/7, nor will he be spending his off-hours in a steamer trunk. But over time, we've moved closer toward a genuine FLR. Happily, I'm making a LOT of the decisions nowadays, and I can foresee the day when I make most or all of them.

For those of you who can relate from this brief description to the kind of life we'll be living--how would you do it? I'm sex-obsessed--sue me--and my first concerns are how we'll manage that with kids around. Until now, we've mostly gotten together when UMs were with their friends or other parents. But now the children will be living across the hall from us; and we make a lot of noise, even when I use a gag. Having been married before, I'm vaguely aware that there is more to domestic life than sex, but right at the moment I'm stressing over how I'm going to manage our sex life, my sex life, and his. (I get to come every day. He gets a fair amount of chastity, but too much of this particular good thing screws up his response, which I then view as a Bad Thing.)

I'll probably be fine once I get over the "it's getting close" panic, which probably is much the same as prenuptial jitters. Meantime, I'd appreciate any pointers and ideas from either side of the kneel.

Thanks in advance.

< Message edited by Reigna -- 7/28/2008 4:57:26 PM >

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RE: EEEK! Seeking advice on 24/7 - 7/28/2008 5:20:08 PM

LadyPact

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First, let Me say how happy I am for you and yours that you are coming up on this move forward.

I've had this same type of conversation with clip these last few weeks. In the month since he's not had the opportunity to be sitting at My feet, it seems the other folks of the household have been absent more than they have been home. The running gag is, where were all of these opportunities when I could have been doing delicious, evil things to him with an empty house?

Seriously, things come up. They go to friend's houses. They go swimming or to the movies. The trick is to get them all out at the same time.

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RE: EEEK! Seeking advice on 24/7 - 7/28/2008 5:20:09 PM

TermsConditions

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Joined: 11/13/2007
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Regina,

I have little or no practical experience but I'm looking to navigate a similar environment.

From the unsatiatiated (omg! look at this word! why is it impossible to see this before hitting the <ok> button?) guy perspective, this is looking pretty good:

http://www.aroundherfinger.com/faq.html

I'm looking to finagle this into implementation; but chastity + lots of chores + regular recognition and teasing + occasional satisfaction = happy, happy; joy, joy.

Your mileage may vary, void where prohibited by law, I don't know what I'm talking about. .

Edited to point out misspelled word.

< Message edited by TermsConditions -- 7/28/2008 5:22:32 PM >

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RE: EEEK! Seeking advice on 24/7 - 7/28/2008 5:39:07 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Congratulations, Reigna! As a single, child free lady, I have no useful advice to offer, but I am sure you will work it out.

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RE: EEEK! Seeking advice on 24/7 - 7/28/2008 5:44:45 PM

ElanSubdued

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Reigna,

quote:

LadyPact:
Seriously, things come up. They go to friend's houses. They go swimming or to the movies. The trick is to get them all out at the same time.

Exactly. Sleepovers for your UM's at friend's house are as much for you as for your UMs. The adults on the other end know this too and they'll borrow the favour back from time-to-time. :-)

Elan.

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RE: EEEK! Seeking advice on 24/7 - 7/28/2008 5:51:15 PM

DiurnalVampire

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From: Nashville, TN
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I am not a parent, but I have spent a lot of time working around my parents and brother... so I can sort of contribute.
If your ums are old enough to do so, you might want to consider something like a weekly movie night. They get money for tickets and snacks, and you get a few hours to yourselves. They wont catch on to your trying to get them out of the house, and you will have VERY valuable time. Double features are even better.
Sleepovers are a blessing on both ends, as Elan has mentioned. Anyone with kids knows that. Also encouraging a hobby, club or activity that gets the out and about on weekends helps too. I have overseen karate classes where the parents dropped off and picked up but had time for dinners while the students practiced.

You'll be surprised by how many things you notice give you little bits of time here and there, once you are actualy together.

DV

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RE: EEEK! Seeking advice on 24/7 - 7/28/2008 10:04:22 PM

Reigna

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Joined: 8/27/2007
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LadyPact, thanks for the kind words. Thank you, too, LadyHibiscus.

TermsConditions, I like your suggestions, and those at aroundherfinger.com. I've seen the site before, but never thought to go back and take a look for ideas now.

You're all correct, of course, that UMs aren't really underfoot 24/7--it just seems like it. The little dears have lives of their own, increasingly so as they get older. And we grownups have the option of sneaking off to a sleazy motel, too.

I want to have some kind of ceremony to welcome my sub into my household, and am perusing threads I pulled up in the search function. Any other ideas are most welcome.

We're both very happy, and really looking forward to this next step. Thanks so much for the kind words.

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RE: EEEK! Seeking advice on 24/7 - 7/29/2008 12:32:24 PM

tulitukka

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Joined: 10/11/2007
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You might also want to figure out all nice ways of teasing him while the UMs are in the house - there's loads of things one can do with them never realising (and in the bedroom you can do, you'll just need to build that expectation for those times that you have the house for the two of you).

Congrats!

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RE: EEEK! Seeking advice on 24/7 - 8/6/2008 9:55:53 PM

Reigna

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Just an update. My UM and I are planning a "welcome to the household" dinner for my sub and his UM. Then, later on when the UMs are safely tucked away, I'm going to shove a nice ball gag in his mouth and pierce his nipples.

(Yes, I know my way around a piercing needle.)

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RE: EEEK! Seeking advice on 24/7 - 8/6/2008 11:07:43 PM

darchChylde

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From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Reigna

Just an update. My UM and I are planning a "welcome to the household" dinner for my sub and his UM. Then, later on when the UMs are safely tucked away, I'm going to shove a nice ball gag in his mouth and pierce his nipples. (Yes, I know my way around a piercing needle.)

E-I-E I-OWW!!!!

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RE: EEEK! Seeking advice on 24/7 - 8/7/2008 12:54:07 AM

AllietheKitten

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My sub and I are also moving in together in two weeks. So firstly, congrats!

As for the dynamics...it really depends on how old the kid is. I have a 10 year old and we have a few rules:

1. Always knock if a door is closed
2. When mom and Netizen need "private time" you cannot interrupt unless its an emergency (this is usually done by saying that we are taking a nap and putting a movie on for her)
3. If she finds anything in my room (collar, ect) she is allowed to ask what it is and I will answer as honestly as possible. She is old enough to know about sex and she knows that we are in love and that that's okay. Of course, she doesn't completely understand the dynamics of it but I try to be calm. Like when she found the collar and asked about it I just shrugged and said that Netizen and I like to play a game where I pretend he's my pet...she said "You're weird mom!" and didn't mention it again.

I absolutely do not do any D/s stuff in the common rooms while she's there, unless its really subtle, like having him sit on the floor or make dinner, ect. We make it work.

PS> I think my daughter is a budding fetishist anyways. Since she was 6 she has wanted me to tie her up so that she could show me her Houdini-like escape tricks. The first time she met Netizen-no joke-she tied his ankle to a table and told him that he was her slave now. He gave me this look of horror, like "Wow, she's a chip off the old block!" ROFL!

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RE: EEEK! Seeking advice on 24/7 - 8/7/2008 7:40:23 AM

CallaFirestormBW

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A decade ago, our quad had a house full of UMs, all too young to stay home alone (including the additional UMs from the nanny, who brought her own with her). Two things that we did that really helped were (1) rearranging the house so that our room was furthest from the UMs. Then we hung 'baffling' -- Putting things like cloth hangings and tapestries on the walls which REALLY cuts the noise down. (2)For really ambitious endeavors, we planned a once-a-month "mini-vacation". The UMs went off to visit their other parent, or were left with the nanny (who was paid extra for the weekend) or a sitter. We budgeted it as a 'necessity' because it -was- for us. We picked a place that was pretty large (to improve the chances of being ignored if we got a little noisy), had decent weekend specials, and was close enough by that we didn't have to lose a full day to travel in each direction (no more than 6 hrs away). It worked out really well -- and worked out even better when the weekend coincided with a fetish event!

Just a couple of suggestions.

Calla Firestorm

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RE: EEEK! Seeking advice on 24/7 - 8/7/2008 8:21:43 AM

ShiftedJewel

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I always had a lock on my door and a really loud stereo in my room. My kids knew that if my stereo was blaring they shouldn't knock unless the house was burning. But they were teens and knew what was going on, just didn't want to hear it.

Jewel

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RE: EEEK! Seeking advice on 24/7 - 8/7/2008 6:59:52 PM

stripmymanhood

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i wish an ex-girlfriend of mine had such a system with her 14 year old daughter...normally she locked the bedroom door, but this time she forgot....and as luck would have it...just as i was about to enter the girlfriend, her daughter walked in the door...for the next month, i was unable to cum when we were at her house...and her daughter always gave me dirty looks after she saw what she did.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

I always had a lock on my door and a really loud stereo in my room. My kids knew that if my stereo was blaring they shouldn't knock unless the house was burning. But they were teens and knew what was going on, just didn't want to hear it.

Jewel