RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (Full Version)

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Mercnbeth -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (7/29/2008 4:47:07 PM)

quote:

While I for one (respectfully) think your definition is total bullc**p I don't see why you had to near bark at the woman in your post how much of a "bad slave" according to your own definitions, without even taking into consideration that the "master" involved might be douchebaggus maximus. The woman came to the boards with some valid concerns, degrading first her "slavishness"
Actually my comments were quite the contrary. Whether she is or isn't a slave under my definition or anyone else's isn't important to the reply either. What is important is that she posted it publicly and wants to keep it a secret. What do you think a 'reasonable' response would be from any partner under any label, master, dominant, spouse; who was told; "based upon on-line expertise your desire isn't 'normal'."? Remember, that is the OP question, is it 'normal'.

I also don't understand how anyone can you judge the person she labels as her master. According to her, he not only doesn't know she posted but she plans on keeping it a secret. I can't reason that that represents submissive behavior to anyone other than her own insecurity and personal comfort.

quote:

and then basically all masters and slaves which don't fulfill your own personal standard
Really? That is an interesting interpretation of my post. How do you reconcile that opinion with the me saying "As long as the parties involved know themselves well enough, have confidence, and live up to their responsibilities; it's all good." ? But I see you get to that, selectively, at the end.

Meanwhile, how do you put the label 'Master' into the equation if, as the source of an order, its discussed and advertised publicly versus listened to or discussed directly? Forget respect as a master, I'm directly questioning her respect for a partner within a relationship. Or do you think it appropriate to go behind a partner's back in a relationship; vanilla or flavored?

quote:

Absolute service isn't always the goal for people and making statements as you did (see above) are questionably little or no help to either the discussion nor her concerns
Exactly! What difference is it then what they call themselves or how that relates to your, or my, labeling definitions? However, the best possible think to do is hold up a mirror and let her see how it fits into her sense of self. She can call herself a pink goat and her partner a purple dinosaur for that matter.

Maybe it would help to know when you think it is best to discuss a relationship, even an on-line, 5 month variety with strangers versus the person you claim to be involved with enough to call 'master' and consider yourself his 'slave'? I don't care what the dynamic, terms, or moving target definition; she's rationalizing her sense of failure or his. What input, other than generalizations, would help?

quote:

However keep in mind, that as much as you think other peoples "slavery" is fantasy, there are groups of people who think yours is too, borderline pathological even.
Only "borderline"; that only means you don't know me. Were I concerned, or asked the general public to comment, or cared; I'd have reason to change.

quote:

Dude! you basically devalued everybody who didn't follow your own definition of slavery! You basically took the identities of the people who have other dynamic as yours (and yet are still as proud of their master or slave status and identity as you and your partner) and put it in the mud.

Really, you read that mine is the only relationship where I believe the title Master isn't a honorarium? You read my "other cases" to represent ALL other cases? And "can mean" to you represents 'always means'? Sorry - can't help with that interpretation.

However, what would you call a dynamic where you only listened and obeyed when it suited you? That is the distinction. It is not a distinction limited to my personal relationship. Nowhere do I make reference to any such claim.

It really is very basic and very obvious; at least to me. Whoever sets the rules, whether you call them 'limits' (hard or soft), or the parameters of the relationship;  is the 'Master'. It is obvious that many claiming to be submissive and slave have that power. In ancient times they used to be called 'do-me' subs. Now there are all kinds of references and labels for the same result. The label doesn't matter - realty is what it is.



Usako -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (7/29/2008 5:03:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkangelslave

i cant answer that one,he told me a master never goes down on his own slave,and if i try to disscuss the subject i am promptly told"it is not a slaves place to question her master"


And you were with this dude for two years? Daaaaamn. I would have said fuck off eons ago. This guy sounds more like a controling douche then a "master."

Just because it's a slave to master relationship doesn't mean you don't have the right to find someone who clicks with what you need. If a guy told me "I don't go down" in the negotion phase then it wouldn't be going any farther. What's the point in serving someone you don't click with or both people's needs can't be met.



corsetgirl -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (7/29/2008 5:46:01 PM)

I have read your profile and after five months of not serving your master must be very frustrating. 

I also get very uneasy when I find masters who have this mindset of submissives following orders without question. In order for a dom and sub to work out their relationship, there has to be a great level of communication that involves listening.

I would be more inclined to talk to the sub and the master first and as far as the camming goes, I can see how others would refuse.  Is that your fault?  No, sometimes there have been other subs who get along better with one party and not the other.  Perhaps, this is based on insecurity of your master's part because they refused to cam him.  Well, for the first time I talk to a dom, this does not mean I will instantly submit to him and especially when I have not even met him face to face.

I am more appreciative when I get mail from this site with a master and a sub, explaining that they are looking for another sub to play than I would talking online to a sub and dom with the dom demanding that I cam him.  That just shows me the dom is pushy and overly aggressive for my submission, which is a big turn-off for me.

I think the best bet is to set up a profile with your master acknowledging that you are his sub, you two are looking for a third, and list what type of areas are compatible.  After you and your master communicated online with the sub (without camming), have you and he meet this sub at a public place, get to know each other as human beings first, and if there is a connection, then all three of you can play.

If your master does not want that...then you need to reconsider and re-evaluate your relationship to him.  Just because you are slave does not mean you have to be a doormat.  Good luck.



YourhandMyAss -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (7/29/2008 6:08:16 PM)

try the swingsite.com A lot of people are there for sex, and sex only. You may have luck.



OsideGirl -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (7/29/2008 6:16:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Viridana

Hmm... so he's blaming you for them not wanting to cam in front of strangers? Am I getting this right?
Sounds like the case. Quite frankly, you're doing what he's asked for, he just doesn't have the patience to follow through....and that's his fault not yours. He's punishing you for someone else's actions.





Huntertn -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (7/29/2008 6:20:34 PM)

wait a second..you've not served your Master in person now for 5 months ...because you cann't find a second sub????  When in fact its been know to take years to find a solid second sub..and many never do ....



YourhandMyAss -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (7/29/2008 6:25:40 PM)

Now, that depends on the Master.

There's a lot of Master's on here who love oral sex on their submissive or slave, and there's a lot who don't.
quote:

ORIGINAL: darkangelslave

yes well all i have to do now is hope and pray my master dosnt check the forum and find out iv been so personell about things as all i have ever been told is that a master never goes down on his own slave,again as i have only had 1 master so i dont know if that is a common practice of a master or not,maybe i should just have asked that question.



DarkSteven -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (7/30/2008 3:19:28 AM)

darkangelslave, first off, my condolences for your current situation.

There are several things that give me pause in your situation.

1. you're trolling for kink in vanilla waters.  Why?  It's tough enough to get someone to agree to what you wish, and having to explain BDSM to vanillas is frustrating.
2. The fact that he won't go down on you is fine.  He's the Master, and he's in control.  But the fact that he made up a rule that Masters are not allowed to do that... they're allowed to do whatever they please as long as it doesn't violate a limit.  Making up an excuse diminishes him.
3. Denying you service while you are frustrated is tricky.  Doing it for five months is asking for issues to surface.  If he's not careful, you could spin out of control.  I suspect that you have an exceptional dedication to service, else you would have chucked this a while back.

Have you tried a site such as alt?



MasterDragon1963 -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (7/30/2008 8:47:41 AM)

"masters dont go down on their own slaves" is he saying its ok for him to go down on other master's slaves, and other masters to go down on his slave? Either way he is a dickless idiot. I am a master and I have eaten my share of pussy "the one attached to my slave, not other owned slaves".

Master Dragon



camille65 -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (7/30/2008 9:08:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sub4You4UKOnly

If you want advice about an order that you got given then the best person to talk to is your Master. Isn't that obvious? I always go to my Master when I am confused about an order he gave me, or can't fulfil an order he gave me. Talk to your Master about the fact you can't find anyone to do a threesome with you both and explain it to him thoroughly. Go to his house and talk to him in person, tell him you really need to talk to him about it and that it can't be helped. Not your fault there is no prostitutes around you


Wow. You are just plain nasty.

It seems that this strikes some sort of chord within you to be provoking such a strong and negative reaction to the OPs plea for help.
If this situation bothers you so much then maybe you ought to just skip this thread altogether?


To the OP, I've only gotten to page 3 so I am holding any advice I may have for you until I hit the end page.



pettingdragons -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (8/1/2008 6:37:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sub4You4UKOnly

I dunno either but if they want a poly household then shouldn't a threesome be about the same thing?


IMO, a poly house and a three some is not the same thing. A poly house May have little to do with sex, and more to do with the relationship. A threesome has more to do with sex and maybe a relationship.
 



Katchoo -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (8/1/2008 7:25:01 AM)

you will be involved in sexual activity with whatever woman is chosen. The fact the he is permitting you to choose her, as opposed to ordering you to couple with a stranger... does this not seem a privelege to you? A loving act?

A question to ask yourself is why this expectation changes your perception of his intent to the negative. Perhaps he is allowing you time to think, not about your possible reticence to perform the task at hand, but about your perceptions of him and his intent and position. A lengthy estrangement punishment can warp intentions in the head. It can make or break resolve in a slave.

you are aware you have broken trust in acting improperly by attempting to post without knowing whether he would wish you to seek advice publicly, and reveal personal details. i totally understand the need your need for input, please do not mistake my meaning here, but if there was doubt you should have asked him first. If you have served for two years, you know what you have done, and what you must do.

It is time to search yourself. Is this man the master of you? If so, you need to accept his place as the one who will guide you, sexually and otherwise. you must also confess your missteps, and accept the consequences for your actions, and strive to learn from this experience.

He is allowing contact. He still values you enough to communicate with you every day! Keep your chin up. Serve with grace.

~kat



sunshinemiss -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (8/1/2008 7:56:10 AM)

Dang, this one just hurts.  If a man told me I couldn't serve for 5 months, after the first month, I'd be shaking like a leaf.  He wouldn't have a motivated slave, he'd have no slave cause I'd be in the loony bin. 

To the OP:
You have email ...

good luck,
sunshine



Missokyst -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (8/1/2008 9:18:27 AM)

Hmm... five months of punishment for her inability to get someone else to buy into their kink.  Yeah, that seems like a loving act.  I love it when someone puts a requirement on me which demands the co-operation of someone else to succeed.  Particularly when that third party is not going to be there for more than one indulgent act. 
Sweet.
Kyst



Katchoo -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (8/1/2008 10:38:28 AM)

i didn't say the five month punishment was a loving act/privilege, i said allowing the choice of sexual partners was, which is what her intial questions were about until this became about his worth.

She always has the right to leave. If this situation is too extreme for her, if she doesn't respect or trust him anymore, if she doesn't want to troll for strange, if she can't buy into his kink... leave. Otherwise, the only option for a slave is to discuss with him if allowed (which he has facilitated) and obey, and also confess what she has done here. If his actions have caused a breech in trust, respect, adoration on her part, she must search her heart as to whether or not he is the master to lead her any farther.

i do with you luck in your decisions OP, they cannot be easy or you would have already made them. There are many good suggestions in this thread on how to have better success in finding a woman, if you continue to remain in his service. There are many excellent Yahoo groups that offer more private support and discussion for submissive-type women; should you wish you can message me for a list.

~kat



akisha -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (8/1/2008 11:32:29 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkangelslave

my master is putting so much pressure on me to find a female to join us for a 3some,i would have thought that my master would pick who he wanted to join us but this task has befallen on me  a task that he knows i am realy struggling with,is it common practice for the slave to be resposible for choosing a suitable female for her master?

========================================================

i have had intrest before but the master/ slave relationship freaks alot of people out i gave up all free will to my master and the word no never passes my lips as i always say"i know my place" iv tried to explain to my master that all woman would go to the lengths i do to please him just because i have no limits dosnt mean all woman are the same.unfortuanatly all i get told is "DO NOT PRESUME TO ARGUE WITH ME" its like being stck in catch 22  i cant win no matter how hard i try!
====================================================

i would do anything to keep my master happy and when he was first training me he told me to be on my bed at 2pm playing withmyself and thinking of my master as he would be with another at that time he phoned me when he was with her and it was a huge turn on, i trust my master and im actualy realy turned on at the thought of watching him with another its just finding someone i have the problem with!!!!
======================================================
the reason im getting so upset is because the 3some is mainly for my benifit not my masters im not going into great detail but there are certain sexual acts some men even masters for reason dont enjoy,i have been serving my master for 2 years and i have been quite happy to go without a certain sexual pleasure i extremley enjoy and although my master has never told me the 3some is for my benifit more than his it became obviouse to me a long time ago,all i wanted was an opinion without being to personel about my master but maybe now iv explained it in great detail people will learn not to jump to conclusions about the nature of my masters order for me to find a female!
=======================================================



~FR~

Something was just not adding up in my head so i went back after ignoring this thread for a while, just to see if maybe i got it wrong.

I didn't hit on all the other side shit like the 5 month no service punishment cause well in my mind that would just say the relationship is over. Being punished for something you realistically have no control over is ridiculous and i know personally i would just end the relationship but hey that's me.

My question here is:

Is the second person, sub, slave whatever you want to address them as for your master or for you?

If she is for you as you have claimed repeatedly, then why are you bitching about having to find her?  That only makes sense to be honest. Why would he find someone for you when it's you she'll be servicing??

Finding a third is not an easy thing. Some people spend YEARS trying to find someone compatible.

If you are going to run a line on people, it's best to remain consistant. You wonder why so many people responded negatively, well it's because your story is jumping all over the map.

I mean really, I could show huge inconsistancies with pretty much all your posts on this thread, not just the ones i quoted here

But just going on what i put here, your original post is basically a redundant question don't you think??




AquaticSub -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (8/1/2008 2:47:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkangelslave

yes well all i have to do now is hope and pray my master dosnt check the forum and find out iv been so personell about things as all i have ever been told is that a master never goes down on his own slave,again as i have only had 1 master so i dont know if that is a common practice of a master or not,maybe i should just have asked that question.


Search old threads. You'll find plenty of masters here who scoff at that idea.



mstrj69 -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (8/1/2008 5:26:35 PM)

   Too often I see a sub's profile saying she is looking for a third to join her and her Master.  I personally feel he needs to be more involved in the choice.  I agree that if it is going to be f m f and long lasting for play, it is necessary that his sub gets along with the third.



masterlink65 -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (8/3/2008 5:55:33 PM)

its your job if your master ordered you to do it. isnt that the way it works? master gives order, lsave follows order!?!?!



coupleowl -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (8/3/2008 5:57:36 PM)

Personally I would say no, as my sub has a very different taste in women than I do.



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