if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (Full Version)

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darkangelslave -> if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (7/29/2008 7:59:41 AM)

my master is putting so much pressure on me to find a female to join us for a 3some,i would have thought that my master would pick who he wanted to join us but this task has befallen on me  a task that he knows i am realy struggling with,is it common practice for the slave to be resposible for choosing a suitable female for her master?



batshalom -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (7/29/2008 8:01:28 AM)

If he knows you're sketchy about it, then perhaps having you find the girl is his way of making it easier on you. If he doesn't know you're feeling sketchy about it, this would be a good time to tell him so. Some Doms choose their own, some Doms have their subs choose the third. There's nothing unusual about it.



Mercnbeth -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (7/29/2008 8:07:41 AM)

Maybe you can help me with an ongoing confusing I have regarding any question of this type.

What difference does it make what anyone else does? Your 'Master' wants you to do it. Does he appreciate you getting a consensus before determining whether you'll obey or not? Is that how you deal with any instruction that doesn't appeal to your 'submission'? Better yet, if everyone said this was not a common practice is your Master the kind that only has rules that meet community standards?

The fact that you don't want to do it, would be reason enough to make you do it. Submission to a 'Master' isn't about doing what you wanted to do all along.



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (7/29/2008 8:08:18 AM)

been there and done that  

finding a third is like finding a needle in a haystack. so be prepared for a long search unless you look on the vanilla sites like aff.com.  if you're struggling with this, talk to him about it your concerns.

be warned, you're not going to get much respect from other submissives/slaves upon contacting them and he'll be viewed as lazy dominant for not assisting you.




darkangelslave -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (7/29/2008 8:08:27 AM)

i have had intrest before but the master/ slave relationship freaks alot of people out i gave up all free will to my master and the word no never passes my lips as i always say"i know my place" iv tried to explain to my master that all woman would go to the lengths i do to please him just because i have no limits dosnt mean all woman are the same.unfortuanatly all i get told is "DO NOT PRESUME TO ARGUE WITH ME" its like being stck in catch 22  i cant win no matter how hard i try!



darkangelslave -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (7/29/2008 8:16:26 AM)

ok i have a strict master i have found 4 suitable females all were introducuced to my master in a 3 way chat and all went well i was instructed to cam for them and my master, then my master would ask them to cam and when they refused i was told to block them they were just time wasters iv been trying to find a female to join us for over a year now and untill i do my servitute has been revoked its been 5 months since i served my master in person and i dont feel worthy of the title slave,but shouldnt it be a shared effort to find someone between master and slave?



Madame4a -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (7/29/2008 8:17:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

been there and done that  

finding a third is like finding a needle in a haystack. so be prepared for a long search unless you look on the vanilla sites like aff.com.  if you're struggling with this, talk to him about it your concerns.

be warned, you're not going to get much respect from other submissives/slaves upon contacting them and he'll be viewed as lazy dominant for not assisting you.




This is good advice above but I agree with Mercnbeth -- if he's told you to do it, other than asking for tips from others (try the sub/slave thread) you should probably not care what others do.

This comes up often enough -- check the poly thread as well, every so often there is someone there asking or discussing this issue.



MissSCD -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (7/29/2008 8:18:19 AM)

I realize you are a submissive.  I would talk with my Master about this because I think deep down in your  heart of hearts, you do not wish to find another person to share with. 
 
Regards, MissSCD



Viridana -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (7/29/2008 8:18:41 AM)

Hmm... so he's blaming you for them not wanting to cam in front of strangers? Am I getting this right?



Aileen1968 -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (7/29/2008 8:19:34 AM)

quote:

ok i have a strict master i have found 4 suitable females all were introducuced to my master in a 3 way chat and all went well i was instructed to cam for them and my master, then my master would ask them to cam and when they refused i was told to block them they were just time wasters iv been trying to find a female to join us for over a year now and untill i do my servitute has been revoked its been 5 months since i served my master in person and i dont feel worthy of the title slave,but shouldnt it be a shared effort to find someone between master and slave?


Your master sounds like an ass who punishes you for not being able to do something that he himself can't do.   



windchymes -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (7/29/2008 8:25:12 AM)

There's a big difference in a positive, working, real-life M/s relationship like mercnbeth have and playing master and slave online.  This sounds much more to me like some jerk coercing some well-meaning but gullible female into finding new wank material for him. 



darkangelslave -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (7/29/2008 8:25:58 AM)

i would do anything to keep my master happy and when he was first training me he told me to be on my bed at 2pm playing withmyself and thinking of my master as he would be with another at that time he phoned me when he was with her and it was a huge turn on, i trust my master and im actualy realy turned on at the thought of watching him with another its just finding someone i have the problem with!!!!



Sub4You4UKOnly -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (7/29/2008 8:27:44 AM)

Wait, let me get this right. You joined this chat site today just to ask that one question? You joined a BDSM site when your Master doesn't feel you worthy enough to serve him until you have completed your task? WTF are you doing here? If he wants a vanilla threesome then get some random person to do it with you, if he wants it to be bdsm then he should find someone. Me and my Master are having a threesome on my birthday xD but luckily for me its with my best friend. If you can't find anyone to do the threesome with you then just tell him that you can't and that its pointless looking as no-one will do it. Also if he is trying to get them to cam for him the first time he talks to them then im not bloody suprised they refuse! I would to, especially if i didn't know what he looked like. Could be a 90 y/o man that wants to perv on innocent younger girls for all they know.



darkangelslave -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (7/29/2008 8:32:26 AM)

no i joined the chatroom for advice and support on a lot of things im a first time slave and i was assured this was a freindly site where i would be able to ask the opinions and advice of other people living this lifestyle!!!!!!!!!!!



Viridana -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (7/29/2008 8:36:45 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkangelslave

no i joined the chatroom for advice and support on a lot of things im a first time slave and i was assured this was a freindly site where i would be able to ask the opinions and advice of other people living this lifestyle!!!!!!!!!!!


There there, breathe through the nose [:)]
You are getting opinions and advice. The answers may not be exactly what you wanted to hear but don't confuse that with unfriendliness



Sub4You4UKOnly -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (7/29/2008 8:41:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkangelslave

no i joined the chatroom for advice and support on a lot of things im a first time slave and i was assured this was a freindly site where i would be able to ask the opinions and advice of other people living this lifestyle!!!!!!!!!!!


theres quite ALOT of forums that you could have joined, both vanilla and bdsm, yet you chose this one and posted on it straight away with that question up at the top. That just screams out to me that you are either lying about it, someone dared you to put it there as you keep changing things or that you are highly stupid or all three =] But yea most new people actually say they are new and need help



SirWAX -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (7/29/2008 8:42:02 AM)

*fr*

I'm going to give your Master the benefit, because i like believing in the well-intention of people.

Suggestion: possibly getting someone in your local area and do your cam thing together. i hope you take heart some precautions and i wish you the best.

Sincerely,
SirWaxaLot

EDIT: Nevermind

Double EDIT: Maybe not making all CAPS in your profile will help you as well



Sub4You4UKOnly -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (7/29/2008 8:45:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkangelslave

and i dont feel worthy of the title slave,


Yet on your profile this was there "AND THAT I AM WORTHY OF THE TITE SLAVE."

Do I need to say more?
 
 



darkangelslave -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (7/29/2008 8:48:06 AM)

im new to all this, i normaly just blog  im not used to asking for advice it a lot of guts to join for me and not because i try to hide who i am but when we met he wasnt looking for a slave and i had no idea what a master was,he asked me me if i would call him master i googled master and slaves researched the lifestyle and became fasinated with it,it was like finding a part of me that had been missing,i know all masters are different all i wanted was general support and to find out if it was only me had this problem,



vield -> RE: if a master desires a 3some is it normaly a slaves job to find a suitable person? (7/29/2008 8:48:15 AM)

LOL, "is it normal..." is an interesting question to see on a BD/SM site.

I do not know you or your Master nor do I know the degree of experience each of you has, nor the degree of your committments to each other, nor your mutual limits and goals.

Yes it is not unusual to see submissive partner(s) seeking people to help them please the dominant partner (s).

Yes it is not unusual to see dominant partners seeking others to join in, whether as additional submisives or as additional dominants..

Each relationship is totally unique, and only the people in the relationship can judge if something is truly "normal" for their relationship.

As long as you and your partners knowingly consent to all that everyone in the relationship does, have fun!

If there is a lack of consent on the part of anyone involved, the relationship is probably headed for trouble.

I think some of us have felt there is somewhat of a lack of complete understanding between the partners in your relationship, which may or may not be true. In any case I suggest you talk the whole concept over with your partner and see if he can clarify better what he wishes you to do, and to guide you better towards what he wants.

If you are in a long distance relationship this becomes even more difficult without lots of honest and realistic communication.

Please bear in mind that at times we feel the need to find that significant partner we want a lot, and we may consent to things which truly are NOT right for us to do in hopes of making things work out. Often doing this breaks up a relationship which more careful negotiation might have preserved.



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