RE: Subs/slaves submission a gift? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master



Message

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Subs/slaves submission a gift? (7/30/2008 7:24:20 AM)

believe it or not - i honestly have no expectations or responsibilities - our dynamic isn't like most here ...we're unique and out of the standard norm such as making my own decisions for myself.

edited to add:
when trust and friendship are firmly established like we have, there will be no expectations needed. granted this will not work for all but it's perfectly tailored for two soulmates (Daddy and i).



opposingtwilight -> RE: Subs/slaves submission a gift? (7/30/2008 7:28:06 AM)

I know a submissive can make decisions for themselves. I do it all the time. But how are you possibly submitting to him if he has literally NO responsibilities? I can think of extremely limited ways in which this could work but the fact that your profile pic shows you in bondage kind of rules out what comes to mind for me. I mean, he bound you therefore he was responsible for unbinding you. Making sure no one walked up and raped you while you were bound. Etc. Also, I'm pretty sure you expected him to let you go at some point.

I'm just sayin ...

edited to add

I'm not trying to say what can and can't work for anyone but I am trying to understand what on earth you're talking about. It could be a learning experience for me. 'cept ... I just don't get it.



smartalex -> RE: Subs/slaves submission a gift? (7/30/2008 7:32:03 AM)

I sometimes call it a gift because it's freely given to someone I choose. I don't submit to everyone. The term isn't perfect, because it's a gift with some burden & responsibilities for the recipient, even more than a puppy for Christmas. I try not to use the word online because of the connotations that have evolved through Castle Realm & the like.



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Subs/slaves submission a gift? (7/30/2008 7:33:08 AM)

um that picture was taken by a friend who attended a fetish party with me.

Daddy and i don't play in public - actually we have a ldr.



edit: we're happy in the way things have developed between us for the last 2yrs



hotlovinmomma -> RE: Subs/slaves submission a gift? (7/30/2008 7:37:15 AM)

greetings Masters and Mistresses...this girl would like to respond to the message of submission without the ten pages of responsibilities and expectations attached...this girl is the slave of Samos61 and yes she gave herself to him without any lists of any kind let alone ten pages of responsibilities and expectations....she gave her heart, mind, body and soul to him 1 1/2 years ago with no doubts of her place and she did it with pride and honour...she was and has been happy about giving her gift to her Master....so you see with all due respect there are some of us slaves who do submit without all the expectations and responsibility crap...i can't speak for others but this girl did it cause her gut told her it was right and that she would be safe and protected by her Master.



Leatherist -> RE: Subs/slaves submission a gift? (7/30/2008 7:41:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hotlovinmomma

greetings Masters and Mistresses...this girl would like to respond to the message of submission without the ten pages of responsibilities and expectations attached...this girl is the slave of Samos61 and yes she gave herself to him without any lists of any kind let alone ten pages of responsibilities and expectations....she gave her heart, mind, body and soul to him 1 1/2 years ago with no doubts of her place and she did it with pride and honour...she was and has been happy about giving her gift to her Master....so you see with all due respect there are some of us slaves who do submit without all the expectations and responsibility crap...i can't speak for others but this girl did it cause her gut told her it was right and that she would be safe and protected by her Master.


Yup..

It's called trust, and knowing you are with a man who lives right.

And that is more than enough for some, no hoops in sight. [:D]



opposingtwilight -> RE: Subs/slaves submission a gift? (7/30/2008 7:50:59 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

um that picture was taken by a friend who attended a fetish party with me.

Daddy and i don't play in public - actually we have a ldr.



edit: we're happy in the way things have developed between us for the last 2yrs


I don't doubt your happiness and I'm sorry I assumed the pic was taken by this mysterious "Daddy" you keep talking about. Clearly you have no intention of enlightening or teaching me and only wanted to prove Leatherist wrong. So I'm letting it go.

edited to add

When I say mysterious, it isn't that I doubt he exists. There's just nothing else said about him. He makes you happy. Cool. I just wanted to know how. Silly me. If its a long distance thing I would imagine he can't be all that responsible for you anyway.



Leatherist -> RE: Subs/slaves submission a gift? (7/30/2008 8:00:20 AM)

We always have responsibilities of some kind to fullfill. That's simply part of living.

I just find it odd that some people inflate a role in thier minds to such a level that it seems they expect a superman of some kind-which is really self sabotoging, don't you think?

Like knowing that an average human can jump maybe 4 feet high. So you set the bar at 25..and then wonder why no one makes it over? I guess they just weren't "real"

Or maybe the sub just smokes too much pot.

[:D]



badlilthang -> RE: Subs/slaves submission a gift? (7/30/2008 8:13:09 AM)

quote:

so you see with all due respect there are some of us slaves who do submit without all the expectations and responsibility crap.. ORIGINAL: hotlovinmomma


ok..amazing as this was - you start with *all due respect* and ends the statement with *crap*....in short - saying that the ones of us out there in the real life - having expectations and also expect thinking the Master/Dom/Top should expect to have responsibilities  - is crap....

Submission a gift or not - the Dominant person in the relationship has to have certain expectations and also be very clear to as of what His responsibilities are - also for the submissive/slave. she has expectations also - how would she even be able to find the right Dom if she just closes her mind to those things? Any Dom would do? Of course not - there has to be a chemistry there. The expectations/responsibilities should have been (hopefully) discussed before the relationship was a reality - and she knew He was who He said He was - and had proved it mentally. physically and in every other way. Her expecations were met - and she accepted Him as her Master...trusting Him to take responsibility.

Expectations and responsibilities are most certainly not crap - it is a natural part of life - we negotiate - use the tools we have to find out who we are - what we need to function and what we will accept losing...we agree and move onto the next step, or take one back.

No one is free of responsibilities - both have to work to make it strong.

Well...in my humble opinion...*smiles and winks* (added because of poor typing..cringes - English is not my native tongue)



smartalex -> RE: Subs/slaves submission a gift? (7/30/2008 8:28:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist
Like knowing that an average human can jump maybe 4 feet high. So you set the bar at 25..and then wonder why no one makes it over?

Those who expect and desire perfection in a partner should achieve it first, don't you think? I'm paraphrasing someone else to say that if you are really twuuly owned by someone else, they have the right to take a kidney if they want it. For transplant or just to savor with a nice chianti. I expect any Dom/Master to be human and make mistakes. Inability to admit that would mean that reality is going to force the admission on them, and I don't want to be there to see it.

What I'm trying to get at is that even though I call submission a gift, I know that it's also a burden & responsibility, and that some of us who use that word aren't in a fantasy.



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Subs/slaves submission a gift? (7/30/2008 8:32:25 AM)

first of all, excuse my ignorance but i didn't know you're trying to "learn" from me especially when i'm not the best subject to learn from.

second, Daddy does my make me happy. it's the little things he does out of love from sending me music to share by His favorite artist to cards in the mail just because. He talks to me like a BFF which He is until the end. it's fun having someone to talk to about my goals for myself or share my deepest secerts. how we met was a fluke (long story short: message on aff, reply back, meeting while on vacation, friends since then) but it's our unique situation.  that's why my submission is gift sans whatever anyone else's opinion.



opposingtwilight -> RE: Subs/slaves submission a gift? (7/30/2008 8:39:53 AM)

You have FIRMLY established that there is a healthy and happy relationship going on there but you still haven't said -how- you submit to him sans responsibilities or expectations.

(I KNOW! I said I was letting it go. Gah me!)



badlilthang -> RE: Subs/slaves submission a gift? (7/30/2008 12:42:42 PM)

First you said this: sambamanslilgirl: "i expected Daddy to be honest and true about Himself and be a man of His word by not breaking His promises before ever earning my trust and submission.  i also expect Him to guide and advise me as i try to accomplish my goals for myself as well as be my coach and cheerleader when i want to give up."

Then this: " i did for Daddy on Jan 16th, 2007 without any responsibilities and/or expectations

So what is it....expectations or no expectations??? You contradict yourself.









sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Subs/slaves submission a gift? (7/30/2008 12:54:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: opposingtwilight

You have FIRMLY established that there is a healthy and happy relationship going on there but you still haven't said -how- you submit to him sans responsibilities or expectations.

(I KNOW! I said I was letting it go. Gah me!)


how i submit sans responsibilities or expectations is simply as this there was a moment in my life when i knew this was what i needed in my life. we had discussed beforehand about the dynamic intensely understanding how this ldr would go.

quote:

ORIGINAL: badlilthang

First you said this: sambamanslilgirl: "i expected Daddy to be honest and true about Himself and be a man of His word by not breaking His promises before ever earning my trust and submission.  i also expect Him to guide and advise me as i try to accomplish my goals for myself as well as be my coach and cheerleader when i want to give up."

Then this: " i did for Daddy on Jan 16th, 2007 without any responsibilities and/or expectations

So what is it....expectations or no expectations??? You contradict yourself.



and when i did submit to Daddy, all expectations and responsiblities were no more. i didn't need to expect Him to guide me towards my goals - He merely points the path and i take the steps to get there. yes He did show that He was honest and true about Himself before collaring me. so i didn't contradict myself.



badlilthang -> RE: Subs/slaves submission a gift? (7/30/2008 1:31:36 PM)

sambamanslilgirl:"i also expect Him to guide and advise me as i try to accomplish my goals"

last comment from me on this topic - but you did say this...smiles...that is not written as if it was in past tense...

But hey - if it works for you - it works for you - just hard to actually understand what you mean when you do those 360's in your posts...smiles...



opposingtwilight -> RE: Subs/slaves submission a gift? (7/31/2008 5:36:05 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

how i submit sans responsibilities or expectations is simply as this there was a moment in my life when i knew this was what i needed in my life. we had discussed beforehand about the dynamic intensely understanding how this ldr would go.

and when i did submit to Daddy, all expectations and responsiblities were no more. i didn't need to expect Him to guide me towards my goals - He merely points the path and i take the steps to get there. yes He did show that He was honest and true about Himself before collaring me. so i didn't contradict myself.



Whether you admit it or not, because I know you're trying desperately to prove your point and make Leatherist wrong, you expect your Daddy to follow through with the things you so intensely discussed prior to submission. Furthermore, he is responsible for meeting those expectations.

I mean, come on, if he suddenly decided today to be like, you know what ... screw those goals we talked about. I'm the Daddy and I say you're going to spend the rest of your days eating chocolate lollies and singing ring around the rosie ... you would probably have some reaction other than, ok Daddy, sounds good to me!

Because, you trusted him with that. And obviously you aren't making your own decisions if he points out the path and then you take it. Well, I guess you're making the decision to take the path he pointed out which is what every other submissive in the world is doing when she obeys her dominant/daddy/master as well. So you're not -that- wildly different from what I can see.



Leatherist -> RE: Subs/slaves submission a gift? (7/31/2008 8:40:17 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

um that picture was taken by a friend who attended a fetish party with me.

Daddy and i don't play in public - actually we have a ldr.



edit: we're happy in the way things have developed between us for the last 2yrs


No expectations or responsibilities at all?

So, if he dropped you like a hot potato in the next five minutes..and you never heard from him again-you would be ok with that? [:D]

It must be NICE to have such an eminently disposable toy.



OnlyHisLovebug -> RE: Subs/slaves submission a gift? (7/31/2008 10:22:03 AM)

When I first became involved in BDSM, I was met with the "submission is a gift" cliche- and I believed it.  Over time, as with much I thought I knew about the 'lifestyle', my thoughts on the subject have changed and evolved.  I still see it as a gift, but not in quite as cavlier a manner as I used to.

For the sake of clarification, I'm using the following definition of 'gift' in my assertation:  "something given voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favor toward someone, honor an occasion, or make a gesture of assistance; present."  Given that description, my submission is only a gift insomuch as it ~is~ something I have given my Master because of the favor I have bestowed upon Him.  He gained that favor by being who He is and by acting in a certain manner.  If He had not garnered my favor, I would not have given Him my submission, nor would I continue to give it.

While I never asked for payment, and it was given voluntarily, there was always something in it for me.  I get much in return for my submission.  However, don't most people get something when they give a gift?  Be it the satisfaction of making someone happy, gratitude, or the knowledge they have somehow improved anothers situation?  When a gift is given- there is generally a reason.  There is some sort of relationship between the giver and the recipient that makes the giving of the gift beneficial to both.  Most folks don't haphazardly hand out gifts with no thought of SOMETHING in return.  Not necessarily payment, but some sort of personal gain is almost inherent in the process- even if it's simply in the form of personal satisfaction.  I mean, if there is no gratitude and/or no reciprocity- how often would the giver continue to bestow gifts upon that person?




Leatherist -> RE: Subs/slaves submission a gift? (7/31/2008 11:00:50 AM)

What is usually objected to is the idea that a "gift" is givien in some arrogant and puffed up manner that elevates submission to some holy order.

Rather than simply stating the obvious-that things need to be earned and maintained.



OTKkindaGirl -> RE: Subs/slaves submission a gift? (7/31/2008 2:53:05 PM)

i have never puffed up with arrogance while submitting.  in fact i have been humiliated and humbled in my submission.  in the not so recent past i had on OP along this lines that seem to sum up my feelings on the matter. 

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1993886/mpage_1/tm.htm  post #48 i believe.

there was a man, and he was given a golden key.  he eventually discovered that this key could open all things to him.  one day he set the key aside and forgot where he placed it.  it took months to find this key and when he found it he wasn't even sure it was the same key for it had lost it's luster and though he could still open some things, he could no longer open all things.  the more he used it though the more it gained it's luster back and the more things were opened to him once again.  this is my view on submission.

those that give of themselves completely, give in to the needs, desires, wants, commands, and demands of those we serve.  if all that we do for dominants is not valued, appreciated, respected or cared for then what exactly is the point to even submit.  it is nothing without trust or respect from both involved. submission is usually lost through neglect/negligence, ambiguous emotions, all take and no give.  (i said, usually) it is in our best interest to find that proper fit in a partner and that our needs reflect one another and realizing that not everyone is capable of meeting our needs both from both sides of M/s or D/s. 

this isn't directed at you Leatherist, because i do see your point. 

submission is.................................. beautiful.  why can that not just be the new label???

i suppose this  "gift"  thing will always be brought up.  but how submission is viewed should just remain between the two experiencing their own situation.  jmho




Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.046875