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Dommes inundated with messages and never opening their ... - 7/29/2008 6:13:02 PM   
kruise


Posts: 4
Joined: 4/11/2004
Status: offline
Damn, the worst part about being a submissive males is the shere number of other submissive males trying to get the attention of the limited number of Dommes! i have emailed 3 Dommes on this board and none of them have opened me messages.  It is frustrating but i know it is the same for the Dommes who get so many message on here.

Just venting
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Dommes inundated with messages and never opening th... - 7/29/2008 6:16:42 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
You dont know the half of it, becasue a vast majority of the mail we do get is garbage. I am openly not looking for anything and yet I am still flooded with offers and begging mail. I can only imagine what comes through for the single girls.
Give it time, and accept that you may have fallen into a filter and the message may never have made their inbox. Dont give up just becasue 3 people didnt write you back. When I was actively looking, I would say on average I would have 1 response per 5 sends, and even those didnt always amount to much.  Patience...

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to kruise)
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RE: Dommes inundated with messages and never opening th... - 7/29/2008 6:20:56 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
Post regularly on the boards so your name is recognized.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
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RE: Dommes inundated with messages and never opening th... - 7/29/2008 6:23:00 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Post regularly on the boards so your name is recognized.



yes.. that's great advice

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to RedMagic1)
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RE: Dommes inundated with messages and never opening th... - 7/29/2008 8:15:47 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Post regularly on the boards so your name is recognized.



yes.. that's great advice

Agreed.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Madame4a)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Dommes inundated with messages and never opening th... - 7/29/2008 8:19:24 PM   
MySweetSubmssive


Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline
I have two words for you:

bulk bin.

Mss

_____________________________

"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Dommes inundated with messages and never opening th... - 7/29/2008 8:27:05 PM   
BKSir


Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline
I still get annoyed by female subs...  I make it very clear that
A:  I'm GAY!  Nothing against the ladies, just don't dig the plumbing.
B:  I'm NOT LOOKING!
C:  Just want friends and discourse.

Yet I still get offers.  Please, go die in a... well... considering where we are... in a NOT painful way.


_____________________________

We'll begin with a spin, traveling in a world of my creation. What we'll see will defy explanation.

I am the voices in your head.

BiggKatt Studios

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)
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RE: Dommes inundated with messages and never opening th... - 7/29/2008 8:35:30 PM   
cuddlesandabuse


Posts: 11
Joined: 3/1/2008
Status: offline
I am silly enough I actually answer emails....all of them, unless you send me the same email twice, then I block you, but I will give you advice that always strikes my fancy.......Have a very cute S/N! Something catchy makes me think you might be witty, also, try to veiw thier profile first! I know you can read most peoples without viewing it but it makes a girl feel special and shows you up on their list. A girl might not answer if you don't attach a pic, try adding one to your email and really look at how often they log on? I am a nerd so I always pop on line, but some women spend much less time. And lastly, keep your chin up cutie!

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)
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RE: Dommes inundated with messages and never opening th... - 7/29/2008 11:03:44 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
I don't answer all emails, but I do tend to open all of them.  It's just My way.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to cuddlesandabuse)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Dommes inundated with messages and never opening th... - 7/30/2008 4:15:48 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline
I read any that get through my filters.  Because of Westie, I've got my age block down to 25.  (Actually I lowered it for BlackPearl when he was a regular poster on the boards.  Again POST - if one of us finds you to be interesting, we'll start chasing YOU!  Wouldn't that be nice?)  Prior to that, I kept it up to over 35 only.  I don't always answer.  Mainly because most of it is 'spam' or 'form' letters that obviously did not read my Profile - even though they claim that they did.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Dommes inundated with messages and never opening th... - 7/30/2008 4:43:20 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline
kruise it seems that you are out of luck. There are only 3 dommes on this board.

(in reply to MsStarlett)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Dommes inundated with messages and never opening th... - 7/30/2008 5:56:04 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline
LOL!  We do seem to get a lot of male subs who answer in the "Ask a Mistress" section.  I've always found that quite charming.

------OK!  I'm back from the gym... and have a moment.  I just wanted to do a C&P to show you guys what We ladies deal with all the time.  Feel free to just read the Bold parts that I pointed out and skip the rest.  It's rather dull.

quote:


Hello Maam - Your profile, interests, and beauty have attracted me.  Although relatively new to the lifestyle myself, i have had experience with one Mistress.   I am very aware of the fact that Your play desires and needs are of utmost importance.  However, I do also understand that my inner core is something that is to be learned if I am to be with You and satisfy all Your desires.  The complete control of my mind and all related to the internals and externals of my body is key when I am with You.  I know of the need to explore me in all ways with many activities, and that my deepest thoughts and body are to be fully provided. 

This is not a form letter and was written to respond to Your profile.  I like to write and that is why it is comprehensive Maam.  I seek  a dominant who can be nurturing and who will acknowledge and accept my true submissiveness so She can liberate me. It has been a long time that i have surpressed my true self. I wish One who can shape and mold me so I can be of most value to Her. I  need One who can understand my complexity and play it like a fine tuned instrument. I need One who can understand it, and use it to Her best advantage.  I seek One who is dominant, intelligent, compassionate, resourceful, caring, witty, knowledgeable, and very sensual. I have a strong cognitive and sensual thirst for servitude, knowledge, and experiences of all types. I need One desirous of a near "virgin" like myself, so She can teach me about her true needs, and so W/we can explore new things together. But, I also know the pleasures I will give Her will derive the pleasures I seek. In addition, this is not something I can turn off but is who I am.

I am a man who is very open minded, flexible, adaptable, and learn very quickly Maam, and want One with very diverse and broad interests.  I hope my relative inexeperience can be compensated by my strong enthusiasm, desires, and value I can provide. So please do not let my newness deter a potential journey. I am willing to be pushed as I am moved forward and will do what is necessary to please, for my obedience is not negotiable. It must be provided. Training in many disciplines may be required, and even those that may be very personal in nature (such as bathoom training, ingestion of different fluids, watersports, medical, and enemas) are things that are open and not hard limits if You so desire them and require this obedience.

I hope this has provided You with more insight of me Maam, and has allowed You to enter my mind. I am so eager to chat with You. I truly feel like a school boy who is beside himself.I do hope You were pleased with a more in depth introduction.

respectfully,
XXXXXX

P.S.  I have a yahoo id if desired. If You prefer to contact me there for more interactive communication that would be fine Maam, just let me know and i can provide my yahoo id if You wish


First off... I beleive I have received the "Not a Form Letter" from the same person at least two or three times.  Just because it says it is "Not a Form Letter" doesn't mean that it hasn't been sent to every Domme on the boards.  Maybe it means that he worked really hard to write it, he didn't copy it from "Intros-R-Us" but it sure sounds like he did. 

Secondly, it says he found my Profile and my Interests attractive.  Don't think so.  There is absolutely nothing in this 'not-a-form letter' that mentions one thing that is a shared interest from my profile.  Just a whole lot of "I Need... I Need... I Need."  followed by "Train Me." and IM me on Yahoo.  If he read my oh-so-attractive Profile, he must have missed the part that plainly states:  "2. Don't beg for phone calls or IM's. That is 'one on one' time and it must be earned. If I want to talk to you, I will invite you.   See point #1."

*shrug*  I'm not doing this to be mean to the guy who sent the note.  He might just be a very nice, honest guy.  He just isn't making a good first impression.  I'm just trying to show an example of what Dommes get every day in the mail and why we get a little pissy around the edges about it. 

My favorites are the men who just TALK to me like a human being, not concentrate totally on their kinky needs.  I NEED to connect with a man on a human / friendly level before moving into the kink.  I can't get excited about spending any kind of time with a person that can't carry on a normal conversation.  As some one else so eloquently said soon after I started here, "I am not a life support system for my toy bag."  Wish I could remember who said that!  That statement just totally sums up my attitude. 


_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Dommes inundated with messages and never opening th... - 7/30/2008 2:26:57 PM   
MistressSybella


Posts: 163
Joined: 9/14/2004
Status: offline
Like cuddleandabuse, I also read and answer all my mail...well, most all. My reasons for not are almost identical to hers. LOL!

I don't know why you didn't get an answer kruise. Could it be that you wrote dommes who haven't logged in in a while? Perhaps you wrote those with old, no longer in use, accounts. 

_____________________________

Miss 'Bella

(in reply to MsStarlett)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Dommes inundated with messages and never opening th... - 7/30/2008 8:39:11 PM   
MamaDomme1


Posts: 377
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline
Well, the profile isn't too bad... but, you have had a profile here for more than 4 years... this is your first post on the forums... and you have only written 3 Dommes.

Doesn't sound good to me.

But good luck anyway~~~

(in reply to kruise)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Dommes inundated with messages and never opening th... - 7/31/2008 8:58:29 PM   
shadowcd


Posts: 88
Joined: 6/23/2008
Status: offline
      I think if you read the Dommes profile carefully, you can get an idea of if they will not only read the message but an idea if they will respond.   I have a very good response rate to all messages I send out simply because I read their profiles, follow their rules or explain why I'm not.   I have a fairly good idea of which Dommes wont bother with me though, I will admit occasionally still message them to take a chance they might.
      Things to look for as well, are things like when they where online last because if you message someone that has not been online in a year... chances are they wont read your message.     If you are the wrong age or location your mail may be shifted into bulk mail and just deleted.    
     Anyway from my experience which is limited as I have only been on collarme a month,  best thing is just keep posting on the forum and message anyone who seems interesting regardless of if you want to submit to them or just be friends.  I have  met many friends on here so far but have yet to find anyone able to "click" with me enough to tame me.  
    Only a matter of time I suppose, and until then I just keep learning and growing. ;)
    

(in reply to MamaDomme1)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Dommes inundated with messages and never opening th... - 7/31/2008 11:35:42 PM   
HagiaSophia


Posts: 39
Joined: 4/17/2008
From: St. Petersburg/Tampa
Status: offline
Dear kruise,

I looked over your profile - not bad. Good spelling and grammar (such an overlooked aspect these days). But a bit skimpy - what I got from your profile is that your a service oriented cuckold fetishist, but very little about what makes you unique. I don't know what kind of e-mails you're sending, but a good profile can make up for an iffy e-mail. I read all my e-mails but I do not respond to anything that is poorly written, overtly sexual, reads like a detail-free form letter or clearly written without care for my instructions (for example, I block anyone who asks me about 24/7  situations).

The advice about posting regularly is excellent - it  exposes you to members who are active, gives other a better idea of what kind of person you are, and helps you make connections. Though some may be platonic, you never know when a friend may send you in the right direction.

Always,
Mistress Sophia

(in reply to kruise)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Dommes inundated with messages and never opening th... - 8/1/2008 4:53:11 AM   
sillyslaveboy


Posts: 169
Joined: 7/28/2008
Status: offline
<ad warning>
i just extended the text of my profile for what Mistress Sophia said. :)
</ad warning>

(in reply to HagiaSophia)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Dommes inundated with messages and never opening th... - 8/4/2008 2:45:32 AM   
sillyslaveboy


Posts: 169
Joined: 7/28/2008
Status: offline
This happens too.

i just cmailed a Mistress from my area twice within three days. Both times i got my cmail deleted unread. And She didn't even open my profile. In Her profile, She mentions men of my type too. Point: i guess it is high time to start feeling unwelcome. :)

(in reply to sillyslaveboy)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Dommes inundated with messages and never opening th... - 8/4/2008 12:06:01 PM   
sillyslaveboy


Posts: 169
Joined: 7/28/2008
Status: offline
Ah yes, one more. Advice from a webwar veteran. i spent some more time on CM before this account, so do not be surprised that i've met two Dommes who did this.

Whenever you cmail a Mistress or Domme, save Her profile as an html file locally. It happens that They add or remove something from Their profiles and then frame you for not reading them properly. Showing off any evidence would not change much (although i DO try to put everything in place without that advocacy stuff :) - begging/negotiating play and stuff) but at least you will know that this Somebody is actually fucking with your mind, and that fault isn't yours at all.

(in reply to sillyslaveboy)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Dommes inundated with messages and never opening th... - 8/4/2008 12:28:18 PM   
MizSexyVixen


Posts: 137
Joined: 6/6/2008
Status: offline
The OP is (most likely) clueless as to how much email a femdom receives in this venue. Realize that 90% of it gets deleted by me without a response, and some of that respone is recognizing it as repeat cut n paste that I routinely block.

I personally always respond to message that attempt to engage me in a discussion about who I am /who you are and are clearly seeking some common ground beyond: "Can you do me tonight?" or "Do our kinks match?"

My advice to  the submissive male, forget the stats, look for femdoms you might actually LIKE, and go from there with a well thought out and extremly polite (not groveling) message.

MizV



_____________________________

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, I was aiming for your balls.

check out my updated web site with five pages of photos

www.MizVixen.com

(in reply to sillyslaveboy)
Profile   Post #: 20
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