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So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" - 7/31/2008 5:37:08 PM

ProtagonistLily

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So, we've been playing with the idea of 'slave' on Leatherist's "Are you a "slave"?" thread. You know the drill, it got interesting.

A fellow traveller sent me a note and jokingly said "You'd never see a Master Vs. Dominant" thread. Ok, so now we have one.

I've honestly never really seen this in social situations the same way I've seen the Sub vs. Slave thing used to somehow create a pecking order among bottom types, those claiming to be 'slaves' do so in order to up their stock apparently, though I find it an easy way to spot a poseur myself, but perhaps thats the cynical me.

So, are you a Dominant person, or a Master or Mistress? And if you identify as a Master or Mistress, what qualifies you?

Yes, I know, I'm evil....
PL

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Post #: 1

RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" - 7/31/2008 5:41:18 PM

dawntreader

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This will be interesting~

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(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

Post #: 2

RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" - 7/31/2008 5:47:55 PM

CallaFirestormBW

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I orient as a dominant female. I consider myself a domina, and accept being addressed as Mistress by a collared servant in our household, as a special term of endearment, but in general, I prefer to be addressed as Ma'am or Madam.

Mistress only applies, IMO, for servants who are collared to our own household. To me, it is impossible to be a Master/Mistress unless one has ones own collared servants.

Qualifications and skills -- I have those. Some of them come out of my life when I was away from alternative lifestyles, the rest come out of studying and training in the lifestyle. One branch of knowledge that I have available to me that another domina may not is that I was required to live in service for a time before I accepted my crop. It gave me an interesting perspective, and while perception colors a lot of what I experienced, there may be some portions of it that have proven valuable (and may again) in training up a servant.

In the end, though, being a domina and holding the leash and heart on servants is only partially about my skills -- it is about a mindset that allows me to believe that I have the right to lead, and to be in charge... a mindset that reinforces the feelings that I have about how the world works, my place in it, and my vision of my own servants at my feet.

Calla Firestorm

< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 7/31/2008 5:48:30 PM >

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(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

Post #: 3

RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" - 7/31/2008 6:09:59 PM

ShiftedJewel

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I consider myself a dominant female. We have a poly home and our dynamic is a little different then most so at this time I consider my husband to be the Master of twicehappy and I am his co-dominant. When I collar my girl (I speak with confidence... don't I?) I will be a Mistress. That title will have to wait until then considering I don't mess around with married men... lol

Jewel

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Post #: 4

RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" - 7/31/2008 6:12:25 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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Actually, we have done this before. It's somewhere in the "Ask A Master" board. I apologize for not searching it up for you, but it may be of some interest to you.

As to your actual question, I happen to think I qualify. When I say that, it means yes, I've owned a slave and been entirely responsible for that slave while he was collared to Me. Currently, I have clip in My collar. I am the Head of Household for My poly family.

Like CallaFirestorm, I also qualify in the skills department. I've studied as well as taught. Most people are quite surprised when they see Me in person. I'm often complimented on My abilities with a set of floggers and many other things that people have watched.

I was given My Master's Cover this past year by My leather family, so I qualify in those circles, too. Aside from My poly and extended family, that was probably My greatest achievement in this lifestyle.

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(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)

Post #: 5

RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" - 7/31/2008 6:41:08 PM

Leatherist

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No "master" here.

I might be a guy who has someone who considers herself his servant down the line-but I'll have to earn that-not self award it becuz I am so "speshul."

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Post #: 6

RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" - 7/31/2008 6:47:41 PM

MasterFireMaam

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From: Charleston, WV
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My definitions:

Top: Gives physical sensation.
Dominant: controls through mental constructs.
Master: Guides through a spiritual connection with his/her divinity.

Usually, Master and Dominant go together, but they don't have to. Top can go with either (as can bottom).

Master Fire

< Message edited by MasterFireMaam -- 7/31/2008 6:48:03 PM >

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RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" - 7/31/2008 7:07:01 PM

DomDolf

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My definitions will be fairly basic and if desired can be picked apart and is certainly NOT exhaustive, but I'm sure most will get the gist of what I am saying.

Dominant- Anyone with a dominant personality that enjoys leading submissive personality types. This person is not domineering, which is defined as- tyrannize: rule or exercise power over (somebody) in a cruel and autocratic manner; "her husband and mother-in-law tyrannize her" wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

Master- You can be someone's Master by collaring them, but you are not necessarily a Master in other's eyes. Some people are accepted as Masters because they have proved themselves to others in a group or community. It is also possible to be seen as a Master in one group and totally disregarded in another.

What a Master is not... Someone that adds the word to their name without meeting any standard other than their own.

Dolf

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 8

RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" - 7/31/2008 7:20:01 PM

CruelDesires

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I'm just a head of lettuce named Ralph. I think we already got that from the last thread.

C-D

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(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

Post #: 9

RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" - 7/31/2008 7:26:21 PM

Huntertn

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Way to many paths to follow on this trail..but then again thats why its a alternate lifestyle. As you have read may have followed paths within paths..while others followed their own set of rules...in the end its what you and your sub thinks..and thats what really counts!

(in reply to CruelDesires)

Post #: 10

RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" - 7/31/2008 7:55:17 PM

StrongSpirit

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Top, Dominant, Master. I don't care.

Me, I'm just the guy my sub obeys.

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Post #: 11

RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" - 7/31/2008 8:43:22 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
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From: Charleston, WV
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DomDolf
What a Master is not... Someone that adds the word to their name without meeting any standard other than their own.

Really? My personal standards, all my own, are a hell of a lot higher than most.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to DomDolf)

Post #: 12

RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" - 7/31/2008 8:51:44 PM

Leatherist

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Funny. I see mastery as the ability to sucessfully administer and nurture a "real time" D/s relationship. Not as a popularity contest where you earn a "Hat."

< Message edited by Leatherist -- 7/31/2008 8:52:13 PM >

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I'm not taking custom orders.

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Post #: 13

RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" - 7/31/2008 8:53:18 PM

DomDolf

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It seems indifference is a popular answer. I find indifference squashes creative and provocative thinking. We don't and shouldn't find everything important, but the things we do not find important are probably best left unattended by us. In other words, indifference is probably best displayed by silence, I feel. Yes, sometimes the statement of indifference sends a strong message, generally I like to make that statement to those that are completely ignoring the fact that I am indifferent. Obviously I am not feeling too indifferent at this time.

Yes, I think it will turn out to be a very interesting topic.

Dolf

(in reply to StrongSpirit)

Post #: 14

RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" - 7/31/2008 8:54:51 PM

Leatherist

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Joined: 12/11/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DomDolf

It seems indifference is a popular answer. I find indifference squashes creative and provocative thinking. We don't and shouldn't find everything important, but the things we do not find important are probably best left unattended by us. In other words, indifference is probably best displayed by silence, I feel. Yes, sometimes the statement of indifference sends a strong message, generally I like to make that statement to those that are completely ignoring the fact that I am indifferent. Obviously I am not feeling too indifferent at this time.

Yes, I think it will turn out to be a very interesting topic.

Dolf

In the top end of a D/s thing you need to be validated by exactly ONE other person than yourself-screw the rest of the world.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

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Post #: 15

RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" - 7/31/2008 8:55:59 PM

DomDolf

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomDolf
What a Master is not... Someone that adds the word to their name without meeting any standard other than their own.

Really? My personal standards, all my own, are a hell of a lot higher than most.

Master Fire

I hope you did not take that as a personal strike to you. I am glad you have high standards. I don't know you to judge you. So, I have not.

Dolf

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 16

RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" - 7/31/2008 8:58:46 PM

DomDolf

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Joined: 7/11/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Funny. I see mastery as the ability to sucessfully administer and nurture a "real time" D/s relationship. Not as a popularity contest where you earn a "Hat."

I agree. The respect you earn from yourself, your submissive, your friends, your family and your acquaintances, in and out of the lifestyle, should be true respect and not a popularity contest by any means.

Dolf

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 17

RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" - 7/31/2008 9:00:39 PM

Leatherist

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Joined: 12/11/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DomDolf

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Funny. I see mastery as the ability to sucessfully administer and nurture a "real time" D/s relationship. Not as a popularity contest where you earn a "Hat."

I agree. The respect you earn from yourself, your submissive, your friends, your family and your acquaintances, in and out of the lifestyle, should be true respect and not a popularity contest by any means.

Dolf

There are a lot of people who do this and have no connection with a "community"- or got tired of the politics and left-It happens quite a bit. No one gives them any "caps"-but they seem perfectly happy, in spite of the horrible lack of fashionable headgear.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to DomDolf)

Post #: 18

RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" - 7/31/2008 9:06:24 PM

DomDolf

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Joined: 7/11/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

In the top end of a D/s thing you need to be validated by exactly ONE other person than yourself-screw the rest of the world.

You seem frustrated with my answer. It is mine. It doesn't have to be yours. I share thoughts well though. I agree with your statement here by the way. It is not outside my thinking at all.

Maybe I am "putting out" something unintentionally, but so far I have not disregarded or disrespected anyone's opinion.

Dolf

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 19

RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" - 7/31/2008 9:10:07 PM

RedMagic1

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Self-declaration can be a hindrance or a guide. Plenty of people call themselves things they just aren't, and they hold themselves back by trying to be that thing, instead of a higher version of themselves. On the other hand, if a med school resident says, "I'm a doctor," that might be a flat statement, or an ego-stroke -- but it might also be a way of focusing on self-improvement. ("I need to have the bedside manner of Marcus Welby, and the diagnostic skill of House.")

One exterior indication that "Master" is an accurate descriptor for Fire is the fact that a lot of other people agree with her use of the term. (Though I seem to recall "Grand Poobah" recently suggested as a replacement.)

Human beings are dynamic, not static, and people interested in personal growth set targets for themselves that they never quite reach. In the case of a title like "Master," I think the litmus test is whether someone uses it to shore themselves up and stay where they're at, or whether they use it as a way to remind themselves that "yeah, sure, I'm good, but now let me try to get a little better."

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to DomDolf)

Post #: 20

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