stella41b
Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
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Okay, I'll come in here..
I first took up the Path in 1984 to an Indian Master who practised Theravada Buddhism.. I went to him as a 17 year old eager for knowledge and he sent me away for three months to learn.. I returned and I was set on the path which continues right up until today.
Starting from common ground we have the five Buddhist precepts:
1. do not destroy or harm living things.
2. do not take what is not given or offered
3. sexual misconduct
4. falseness in speech, thought and action
5. taking anything which causes intoxication.
Observation of the above helps to cultivate such qualities as compassion, generosity and non-attachment, contentment, truthfulness, mindfulness and mental clarity. These are not commandments, we do not fear punishment from a deity, but these are things for our own benefit and the benefit of all other living beings.
I'm assuming that the OP may be concerned primarily with the third precept - sexual misconduct. This third precept, as I understand it can be taken to mean 'I undertake the principle of training not to go the wrong way for the sake of sexual pleasure.' From the Buddha's discourses in the Pali Canon (among others) we have the criteria for making ethical judgments about our behaviour:
- we should consider the consequences of our actions, their effects on ourselves and others
- we should consider how we would feel if others did the same thing to us.
- we should consider whether the behaviour is instrumental to our goal of Nirvana.
However if you care to stop and consider the basic and most fundamental principles of D/s and BDSM, would they not indeed be the same or similar principles?
We could go further.. Buddhist commentators have usually construed sexual misconduct to include rape, sexual harassment, molestation of minors, and unfaithfulness to one's partner, and again indeed we find such things also to be unacceptable in the realm of WIITWD. This third precept isn't a blanket prohibition, nor a simplistic depiction of some behaviours being 'right' whilst other behaviours are 'wrong'.
In fact Buddhist ethics have been described as utilitarian, in that they are concerned less with 'good' and 'evil' and more with whether an action is 'skilful', i.e. conducive to a good end in relation to the criteria mentioned above and whether it is motivated by good intentions (based upon generosity, love and understanding).
As far as I'm aware none of the Buddha's sayings in the Pali Canon include any explicit reference to any sort of sexual morality, there is no reference made to sexual orientation, no greater value placed on procreation and I would assume that Buddha did not consider such matters relevant to his message. However this doesn't on the other hand exhort us to a life of the hedonistic pursuit of pleasure, sexual or otherwise. While the Buddha didn't deny the existence of enjoyment in this world, he pointed out that all worldly pleasure is bound up with suffering, and that enslavement to our cravings will keep us spinning in some sort of vortex of disappointment and satiation. The Buddhist's objective is not to eliminate sensual pleasures but to see them as they really are through the systematic practice of mindfulness.
Therefore I welcome you to this new area of life relating to kink, BDSM, D/s and S/M and would suggest that the basic principles found within 'the lifestyle' do not differ so much from, and in fact neatly dovetail, what we regard to be Buddhist philosophy, thinking and principles.
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