MsJssk -> RE: Heavy CP session question (8/1/2008 5:04:39 PM)
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I felt like the original poster's issue was that he reds before he really wants to. It's like the bottom that screams "you better fucking stop you bastard," but would be very disappointed if the Top really stopped. I can think of two possible solutions to the problem. Maybe one will work, maybe neither. Hell, maybe my perception of the problem is all wrong. First, come up with another means of telling the Top that you are hurting and scared, without telling her that you want to stop. It can be as simple as saying, "stop bitch." No matter how much you say "stop" it's not likely that a Top will stop. The second idea is to come up with a different safe word and see if you're more likely to avoid using it. I assume that you've been using "red" for your safe word. After a while, we get used to the word red and it comes out a lot easier than we intend it to. So, come up with something different. Something that you will be less likely to say unless you really want the scene to end. Some other ideas you can try: negociate that a red will end the scene for 5 or 10 minutes. If after that time you are ready to start again, then you start again. Some above said to utilize the all powerful "yellow." I stress yellow a lot more in my play sessions than red. But what it might all boil down to is self-control and discipline. Do you have enough discipline to get what you claim to desire. You have to be willing to accept it. You have to be willing to that the jump and take what you want. Dominants, especially ones you don't know well, are only going to go so far in the forced play arena. You have to meet them part of the way. You have to want it bad enough to go through with it and not change your mind. I don't know if you can get into truely forced play in a professional relationship or even in casual play. After six years I am only just beginning to be able to truely force things on my dearest. MsJ
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