quote:

ORIGINAL: simpleplan2

Although I do agree with what some of what you've said, you do, of course, realize this all holds true for dominants too, right?  For example, what makes you or anyone think that the submissive should be willing to move or even travel?  Isn't that a two way street?  Most of us (dom and sub alike) have ties to wherever we live now.  It's not so easy to simply pick up and move, especially with the job market the way it is now.  Are you willing to support the submissive (and any ums she might have) if she cannot find a job?  What if it doesn't work out?  Are you planning on paying her expenses back home and then supporting her until she finds a job comparable to the one she left for you?  Are you willing to pay travel expenses, including a hotel if she comes to visit you?

quote:

ORIGINAL: E2Sweet

All that aside, I have to say playing the field of married people who are openly known to be cheaters would really be pretty disgusting human behavior in my book. In dabbling in that, one would be actively helping to destroy people's lives. Think of all the unknowing spouses out there, not to mention the potential negative effects on the lives of the offspring... That would truly just be... inexcusable and unforgivable.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BIllCT

Ever notice that, during your online chat sessions here in CM, or in any other chat program involved or about BDSM / D/s,  that there are many submissives who come in and out looking to meet Dominants and say they want to be with a real Dominant, but hesitate to actually meet a Dominant?
 
Yea, there are wankers on the internet. Some call themselves sub and some domme. One of the main reasons I avoid chat rooms.

 
They tend to talk the lifestyle well, know the rules because someone told them to them, but, no matter what they come up with excuses not to meet anyone?
 
The excuses run a long list in the end, like the following:
1) Distance- well you can  change this one if your willing to move or travel we all know that.
 
Some people can move, others can't for what ever reason.

2) The old one- I don't really know you yet?- Keep talking, but beware many talk and never meet, be honest.
They could be shy, or they could be lying about who they are.
 
 

3) Oh your not my type. Please know thyself first and foremost, and then start looking ok. In other words sit down and make a list for yourself, examine your fetishes, likes,kinks and desires, and know what your seeking ok.
If someone says you are not their type. I would have to take their word for it and not argue the point. Not sure why that would indicate that they don't know themselves. Just that they don't feel compatable with you.
 

4) Realize that there is more then one way to have a BDSM D/s relationship with someone, you can have it cyberly, you can keep it online, you can do phone chats, or eventually you can go real time/ real life.
I still haven't found any joy in an online relationship, but if it makes you happy, then go for it.
 

5) Then we have the ultimate reason not to meet someone that comes up, your married,. Well, many a woman and man have had secret affairs and affairs on the side, directly because their marriages have not provided what they needed sexually, emotionally or mentally in some way. So, while being careful is smart, and i agree use protection in all ways, it is a way to find an experience partners for BDSM or D/s play also. Usually married men or women are healthy, clean, considerate and stable people who for one reason or another look for action on the side to make their lives complete. So consider taht when you turn someone away also.
I don't do married people, I don't care how healthy clean and considerate they are. Just not interested.
 

6) Reasons we all can come up with to avoid meeting or getting involved are many for sure, but in the end the only reason is the one you choose to use and that is all there is to it, isn't it?
 
Yup

7) Finally, for those who don't take a chance, and meet and at least talk in person about the lifestyle I feel sorry for you, for in the end, we all talk about respect, trust, caring and listening in this lifestyle, but few can get to the relationship they want to reach in this lifestyle without first taking a chance. As a old saying when I was a kid said,  Ya take a chance and drop your pants and if ya get ass whacked, unless ya like it don't look back, lol