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interactions with the general public - 8/2/2008 11:35:25 AM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		When a group of us were fly'n to an event  recently  there was many of us on the same flight  so we waited for our delayed flight in the holding area .Many of the conversations turned to bdsm and how we all were looking forward to the weekends  gathering .Mainly we spoke in bdsm code speak and did not come right out and  plainly say our topics etc for all to know at pretty much a low tone , and we all knew what was being said with out offending  others around us .There was laughter and exightment and none were dressed in our fetish /leathers  just comfy jeans and dresses ya know street wear comfortable plane ride attire .One Woman with us did have on a Roller Derby girl shirt , I had on a dragon  sirt  in support of my clan . After a while i get a tug and poke on my arm  from the woman next to me asking me if we are all together , i say why yes and we all know eachother well .She then asked  it seems like we are all going to the same event i said  yes correct again .Then she asks the biggie- we are try'n to figure out what the event is that your all going to , we thought a roller derby event , or karate event ? I say no and laugh a lil its neither one of those but good guess . She grew  somewhat  weary and asked again . So we want to know well what is this big event ?
Now i knew better than to just blurt out and explain so i gave her an out " are you sure you want to know ?" i ask , she say yes yes ..
I breathe in and reply its a bdsm leather gathering where we learn further , shop ,have fun , Mistress's and Masters ,Slaves ,submissives and alike  gather . " i wanted to kinda keep it short . Her face went from  big smile to almost corpse like and  plain white .She asked no more questions  but made the statement " i never  knew such things  happened . She thanked me for the info and i we went back to speaking  small talk , then  i hear her explain to the people with her the answer to their question i gaze over smile and they all had these blank expressions , then i hear we must prey for them .
PREY for US .. umm ok Later i retold the events to our group , we all  chuckled a bit but as the event went on  we thought the prayers must have reached somewhere as we all had a wonderful weekend and event .
Even though i/we tried to be respectful , and even gave the  people an out  from their questions  some people just have to know even if they do not like the answer .
I was curious  anyone else have random things like that happen ?Did you just respond to them  with the i don't think you really want to know or tell them ?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: interactions with the general public - 8/2/2008 11:40:32 AM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		she never told you where she was going!!! NO FAIR

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RE: interactions with the general public - 8/2/2008 11:50:40 AM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		LOL no and  I did not see her at the event either or the rest of her party .. I heard alot of asking about fresh brands /cuttings and marks on shuttle airport rides that were not with  us aswell  .One woman did look like she just escaped from a large box of feral cats so to the peoples credit many had more than one mark ..Nice to see so many happy satisfied  faces .. mine being one of them . 

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RE: interactions with the general public - 8/2/2008 4:17:36 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: azropedntied

...then i hear we must prey for them . PREY for US ..


Heh. Interesting misspelling!

When stuff like this happens, I really have to resist the urge to try and make them understand. Mainly because I know that the reason I want them to understand is that I want their approval. I also project that they don't understand all the facts and it bothers me as a logical scientific type person that they make a judgment without all the facts.

Neither of these reasons is really sufficient cause to spend my time talking AT them. If they ask questions, then you can talk TO them, but otherwise, you're just moving your mouth and quite possibly feeding their misconceptions. Kinda like talking to the police...nothing I say will help me and everything I say could be used against me.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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RE: interactions with the general public - 8/2/2008 4:31:35 PM   
twistedEuphoria


Posts: 20
Joined: 7/11/2008
Status: offline 		I have a rule in place, if someone asks I'll tell them. I don't feel the need to hide my lifestyle and if people want to ask about it, I'll let them know. If they want further explanation I'll give it to them. I'm not afraid to expose people to my life choices. I won't flaunt it directly in front of them but I won't hide it like it's a dirty secret. :)

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
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RE: interactions with the general public - 8/2/2008 4:35:01 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I believe in telling people only as much as they really want to know. Sometimes that means a short conversation similar to a game of twenty questions, though I don't think it's even gotten to twenty. Usually the last question is the one they wish they had not asked........as they back away slowly.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: interactions with the general public - 8/2/2008 4:57:59 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		~fast reply~

My Darling and I tend to give people an "out". I give them "that look" and ask them if they're -sure- they really want the answer to that question. I've had some actually look at me and smile, and decide they weren't that interested after all, but, in general, humans are both stupid and curious... a very scary combination... so even knowing that they're going to be appalled at the answer, they still say "yes", that they want to know... When I tell them, some get that "cat that swallowed the canary" look and run off to tell all their friends about the 'freak' they just met, some smile and say "oh... I kinda thought so... so.. can I ask some questions?", and some are just jerks in ever so many creative and completely human ways.

My daughter, though an adult, is the only one that I really worry about -- she's a waif, and over the years, I've encountered a few 'violent' or 'agitated' personalities... the ones who get angry about WIITWD or who think they need to turn you in, right this minute. I've had my arm near yanked out of its socket by a man who thought he needed to turn me in to the police for my "perversion"... at the time, I was actually on my way to teach a class for pastoral care providers in dealing with the special needs of the alternative-lifestyle community. I wasn't 'fetish-dressed' or anything, but I was wearing a FFF (Fetish Freedom Front-now defunct, I think) shirt and button. As a member of the GLF (Gothic Liberation Front), I've worked as an awareness activist concerning hate crimes and discrimination perpetuated against alt-lifestyle individuals, and have heard/seen some pretty horrible stuff. I worry about my daughter sometimes, since she's -very- open and visible about her choices. It's funny -- I was never really afraid for myself, but I worry for her and her fiance.

Calla Firestorm

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

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RE: interactions with the general public - 8/2/2008 5:03:58 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I would of gone to the police station with him then pressed charges for assualt and for him laying his hands on me lol.


Course you were on your way somewhere, and that w*oulda delayed you unduely.
quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW

~fast reply~

I've encountered a few 'violent' or 'agitated' personalities... the ones who get angry about WIITWD or who think they need to turn you in, right this minute. I've had my arm near yanked out of its socket by a man who thought he needed to turn me in to the police for my "perversion"... at the time, I was actually on my way to teach a class for pastoral care providers in dealing with the special needs of the alternative-lifestyle community. I wasn't 'fetish-dressed' or anything, but I was wearing a FFF (Fetish Freedom Front-now defunct, I think) shirt and button. As a member of the GLF (Gothic Liberation Front), Calla Firestorm

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
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RE: interactions with the general public - 8/2/2008 5:05:17 PM   
E2Sweet


Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: azropedntied

...then i hear we must prey for them...


Ahh, isn't that basically the chess equivalent of "check" in the game of snooty one-upmanship?... Good to hear you didn't stoop to playing along... and its great you had a fun trip as well!


_____________________________

E2Sweet™
"If it doesn't make you smile then chances are you're not doing it right."

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RE: interactions with the general public - 8/2/2008 5:37:50 PM   
aggressiveblkdom


Posts: 127
Joined: 5/21/2007
From: The Dark Side of The Moon
Status: offline 		Ah, you should have asked if you could pray with them. The look on their faces would have been priceless . And if for some reason they had agreed....you could have asked the Lord to let you have even more fun than you expected to have at the event. Hmmmm, maybe it's just me but I get such a kick out of toying with the high-brow religious types. LMAO

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RE: interactions with the general public - 8/2/2008 5:49:10 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		prey as in i am being preyed upon by someone else's ideal and view about praying besides they may not pray to the same thing or way i am , its like the blanket bless you when someone sneezes who am i to go around blessing people ..
E2Sweet indeed it was fun and i find tales like these just add to the experiance along the journey
Thanks for sharing ya all , i just find it interesting when people ask or try and find out things then do not like the answer ,silly public  dont they know we are individuals .

(in reply to aggressiveblkdom)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: interactions with the general public - 8/2/2008 5:54:14 PM   
Daddystouch


Posts: 162
Joined: 10/20/2006
From: South East England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Kinda like talking to the police...nothing I say will help me and everything I say could be used against me.



Have a cookie for the smartest thing I've read all day.


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RE: interactions with the general public - 8/2/2008 6:13:01 PM   
E2Sweet


Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW

...I've encountered a few 'violent' or 'agitated' personalities... the ones who get angry about WIITWD or who think they need to turn you in, right this minute. I've had my arm near yanked out of its socket by a man who thought he needed to turn me in to the police for my "perversion"...


Wow, in 10 years of experience, I've never had anything like this happen to me or anyone around me for that matter. Not even a close call as far a violent reactions are concerned. Was this something that happened fairly recently or, say, more 'back in the day' so to speak? I ask only because (and this may sound a little jaded on my part) but I really can't see very many people these days caring all that much about WIITWD.


_____________________________

E2Sweet™
"If it doesn't make you smile then chances are you're not doing it right."

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RE: interactions with the general public - 8/2/2008 6:26:39 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: E2Sweet

Wow, in 10 years of experience, I've never had anything like this happen to me or anyone around me for that matter. Not even a close call as far a violent reactions are concerned. Was this something that happened fairly recently or, say, more 'back in the day' so to speak? I ask only because (and this may sound a little jaded on my part) but I really can't see very many people these days caring all that much about WIITWD.



It was back about... maybe 6 years ago, at an airport in North Carolina, heading for Georgia. I think, too, it is somewhat dependent on the locale -- or at least, that's what I told myself at the time... that it was because we were in the Deep South and that 'freaky stuff' was really not handled graciously. That incident is also one reason that I don't mind talking to individuals, but get a little 'skidgy' when there are groups of random, vanilla people asking questions (and why I don't wear my GLF shirt unless I'm at an alt-friendly event!). This was a guy on the sidelines of a small group of women. It started because someone asked about my pin and t-shirt and, being the good little activist that I am, I gave them their momentary 'out', let the ones who didn't want to know get out of earshot, and then attempted to explain to them about the FFF and our mission to make it safe for people who chose alternative ways of living including BDSM to be able to practice consentually without inciting legal incidents or hate-based violence. The man had stayed to listen, still at the fringes of the group, and I didn't really think much of him, but he heard "BDSM" and wigged out. I don't know if he had a bad experience or what, but he grabbed my arm and started trying to drag me over to the security person at the airport. It was weird as hell... the women were all flipping out, the security guard actually almost arrested -him- for assaulting me... and it probably wouldn't have been as bad as it was if I hadn't dug in my heels (my occasional mule-ish side showing, and being a rather large woman) and made him really -yank-, but it was really uncomfortable, too, to see such a creepy response from four little bits of "alphabet soup".

Calla Firestorm


< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 8/2/2008 6:27:11 PM >

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

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RE: interactions with the general public - 8/2/2008 10:09:06 PM   
XaviersXian


Posts: 525
Joined: 9/8/2007
From: Australia
Status: offline 		greetings to all,

I've never had this happen. 

All people ever see is my Master very definitely in charge of a situation, and me, the quiet, deferential partner, very happy to do his bidding.  I wear engraved dogtags as a collar (most of the time, nestled between my breasts beneath my shirt). 

To date, no one has ever asked us about our relationship, and we have never had to tell.

well wishes,

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: interactions with the general public - 8/2/2008 10:19:56 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: aggressiveblkdom

Ah, you should have asked if you could pray with them. The look on their faces would have been priceless . And if for some reason they had agreed....you could have asked the Lord to let you have even more fun than you expected to have at the event. Hmmmm, maybe it's just me but I get such a kick out of toying with the high-brow religious types. LMAO


Perhaps I'm missing something here, but wouldn't this turn you into... well.. them?  You'd go right ahead and mock their beliefs, mess with their events, and in general play games with them just for kicks?  That sounds to me like it is either exactly what the vanillas did or worse than what they did (depending on interpretation of their actions -- was it with malice aforehand, or a genuine desire to pray for the kinksters).

(in reply to aggressiveblkdom)
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RE: interactions with the general public - 8/3/2008 2:07:26 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddystouch

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Kinda like talking to the police...nothing I say will help me and everything I say could be used against me.



Have a cookie for the smartest thing I've read all day.



Off topic...

Yay! Cookie!

Don't talk to the police, part 1:The Lawyer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8z7NC5sgik
Don't talk to the police, part 2: The Cop http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08fZQWjDVKE

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Daddystouch)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: interactions with the general public - 8/3/2008 8:18:50 AM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Off topic...

Yay! Cookie!

Don't talk to the police, part 1:The Lawyer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8z7NC5sgik
Don't talk to the police, part 2: The Cop http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08fZQWjDVKE

Master Fire



Not really 'off-topic' since the police are a part of our interaction with the general public... When my middle girl came to me to tell me she was getting involved with the GLF, I gave her this:

BUSTED: The Citizen's Guide to Surviving Police Encounters

I think one of the most important lessons we can help one another with when we choose alternative ways of living is learning how to maintain one's civil rights during encounters with those assigned to uphold the law.

Calla Firestorm


_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: interactions with the general public - 8/3/2008 8:38:40 AM   
samaraqzetax


Posts: 58
Joined: 7/17/2008
Status: offline 		Lol.... Personally I don't care what most individuals think about me....I simply don't care. Ask and I'll surly tell, but then agine my dress I normally wear usually tells all. If individuals around me are so insecure with there ownselves, so be it, they can use a little eye opening in there lives!

"My Hero's: People who are not afraid to NOT conform to peoples and societies expectations. People who are true to themselves and don't give a fuck what other people think!"

myspace.com/lil_tg_sub


_____________________________

"My Hero's: People who are not afraid to NOT conform to peoples and societies expectations. People who are true to themselves and don't give a fuck what other people think!"

myspace.com/lil_tg_sub

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: interactions with the general public - 8/3/2008 8:41:49 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		I never ask someone, "do you really want to know", because it's a catch-22.  They say "yes" because they are curious, but without knowing the answer, they cannot know if they really want to know or not.  Ya know?

I just say something like "an adult-oriented meeting" or something similar.  To borrow an old SCA phrase, I have no desire to "freak the mundanes."

Earlier this year, when I taking a couple of days off to go to southern California for some BDSM-oriented classes, my boss asked me where I was going.  She is a friendly sort, and it was just girly conversation.  Even though she knows I write erotica (and has in fact read it), and I'm sure she would have no problem with what I was doing, I just told her that I was going to some classes to learn more about myself, some "self-discovery" type things.  Being that the classes were indeed all about delving into and learning more about your submission, that was the truth.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
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