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Age differences in BDSM - 8/2/2008 12:28:09 PM   
BunnyBoyBrandon


Posts: 14
Joined: 7/28/2008
Status: offline 		While this is not entirely true but is more-so my observation after looking around alot of profiles and real life situations, it just seems like the BDSM crowd is a generation above me with the 30-50 year olds leaving the younger generation (18-30) to start this process over again, the only problem seems to be is alot of my generation isn't into the scene unless its like san fran for example. Maybe it takes awhile for you to finally realize certain aspects you enjoy?

I mean everyone has their kinks, but I mean the full blown costume and roleplay aspects of it. And i'm not trying to discriminate against the older slaves and dommes around at all, most just view me as the pool boy =p

It's more of an observation and conversation starter than any ranting, I just want to unlock the secrets of this mystery.
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RE: Age differences in BDSM - 8/2/2008 12:33:25 PM   
opposingtwilight


Posts: 684
Joined: 6/13/2008
Status: offline 		OK first of all, I LOVE those ears! I want some!

Second ... Sometimes the ages intermingle. May/December romances and all that.

I think you may have a point though in that it does take some time for the great majority of human beings to really discover some of the kinkier aspects of sexuality. And then you have to overcome stereotypes and become comfortable with yourself. Sometimes it happens early and sometimes it doesn't.


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RE: Age differences in BDSM - 8/2/2008 12:37:05 PM   
BunnyBoyBrandon


Posts: 14
Joined: 7/28/2008
Status: offline 		They were cheap dollar store ears, they just dont them like this anymore. =D

And yeah, they do intermingle and I know I never have problems with age (for the most part) its just sometimes people are looking to partners with there slave and no one wants a youngin around =p

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RE: Age differences in BDSM - 8/2/2008 12:37:50 PM   
sfdrew


Posts: 124
Joined: 6/15/2007
Status: offline 		I think part of it has to do with the fact that most people of the younger crowd like us don't settle down until later in life and don't have the financial stability to persue many activities. Based on everything I have heard from the older generation it is much harder to get a proper start in life now than it was twenty or thirty years ago. I have known that I am extremely submissive most of my life but I have only recently (at 24) been able to get active in the lifestyle. Part of that is due to the fact that I have settled down with a Mistress who is older than me and already settled down with a career. I think that is an important factor as far as muches and clubs and get togethers are concered.

I also do think that a majority of people really aren't sure what they want until they have had some experiences. I have changed my views and even some of my kinks after gaining experience. I think older folks are just more comfortable and experienced and they don't have as many reservations about being part of groups and coming out.

Of course I could be completly wrong and I would love to hear more about this topic from all age groups.

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RE: Age differences in BDSM - 8/2/2008 12:45:17 PM   
BunnyBoyBrandon


Posts: 14
Joined: 7/28/2008
Status: offline 		Congrats on the collaring drew! =o And yes BDSM isnt cheap at all, infact quite the opposite. You have to really search for deals to get a collection going. I know I started small a few years ago, you know the softcore stuff just to get a feel with it and you just need to keep buying things here and there overtime until it gets bigger and bigger, upgrade this throw in that etc.

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RE: Age differences in BDSM - 8/2/2008 1:00:34 PM   
sfdrew


Posts: 124
Joined: 6/15/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BunnyBoyBrandon

Congrats on the collaring drew! =o And yes BDSM isnt cheap at all, infact quite the opposite. You have to really search for deals to get a collection going. I know I started small a few years ago, you know the softcore stuff just to get a feel with it and you just need to keep buying things here and there overtime until it gets bigger and bigger, upgrade this throw in that etc.


I actually haven't been properly collared yet. I have a collar for play but She has never collared me per say. W/we hold the collaring ceremony to be equal with marriage and even though we are nearly there we still haven't made that commitment yet. W/we are going to wait until I am completely out of the Army and away from any chance of getting deployed again.

I think you hit the nail on the head. Times are tough and fetish clubs and outfits and activities are expensive and I think the younger crowd just can't afford it.

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RE: Age differences in BDSM - 8/2/2008 1:28:49 PM   
Level


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Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BunnyBoyBrandon

Maybe it takes awhile for you to finally realize certain aspects you enjoy?



I would think a lot of it is indeed that.

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RE: Age differences in BDSM - 8/2/2008 2:03:39 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		I wouldn't say that at all. In my area, I know several people about our age (18-30) who throw play parties and plenty who attend events like TNG. These play parties and events are usually well-attended and tons of fun. Most of the established groups, like La Fortress, tend to have older members but I suspect that this is because of the gas and cover charge. Val and I can't afford to attend these events as often as we would like. However, since there usually isn't a cover charge and the place is usually closer to us we attend play parties thrown by friends more frequently.

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RE: Age differences in BDSM - 8/2/2008 2:14:08 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings brandon,

love the ears also! :) i am there with you. i live in the capital of our state and our bdsm scene has fizzled out. before that they were pretty mistrusting of anyone under 30, especially anyone under 21 *raises hand*. so unless you're pretty forward or meet people who are, it's difficult to find out whether other people you know are into bdsm here. i imagine in most small-to-midsize towns or cities it's hard. personally, i've always been attracted to older men and He is 35 years my senior, and it's worked out for us (though we didn't know we were both into bdsm until after we met).

but in my exploits with people closer to my own age, i've found that it's not only the being settled aspect but also the fact that in a very real way my dating pool is still made up of people who are still trying to figure out if they think anal sex is icky, and who definitely, for the most part, think roleplaying and fetishes are just for weirdos who live with their mom and their star trek toys. besides, most of the people i know who are my age are too busy getting plastered and watching football (seriously...we're known as the drinking town with the football problem). so i suppose it is related in large part to needing more time to find out what you want/enjoy, but i also think that our generation is still stuck with too many sexual taboos - and we hang onto them too tightly.

a'ishah.


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RE: Age differences in BDSM - 8/2/2008 4:24:24 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Because we all want some...

http://www.partypalooza.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=PlushBunnyEar&Category_Code=Hats

OP: go to google and put in the name of the nearest large city and the acronym BDSM and the word club. You should get some results. Add the acronym TNG and see if there is a chapter nearby. TNG is specifically for 18-35 or 39, depending on chapter.

If there's not a chapter, go through collarme and send emails to everyone under 40 within an hour of you and see if they want to form one...or at least get together for a munch.

As far as being left to do it all again, not true. Us old timers are more than happy to share knowledge. We find, however, that it works best if you all ask, else it just seems like we're trying to be your parents and tell you what to do and how to do it. That seems to piss you guys off. ;-)

Master Fire

< Message edited by MasterFireMaam -- 8/2/2008 4:25:25 PM >

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RE: Age differences in BDSM - 8/3/2008 10:17:53 PM   
BunnyBoyBrandon


Posts: 14
Joined: 7/28/2008
Status: offline 		In response to Firemaam:

I have tried around my area and most of them are golddiggers or married and looking for maids or female lesbians, no joke look around the ohio area and you will see im not joking. There was one where you have to take a questionare just to get a response! Now I dont mind doing such things but this isn't a pop quiz its a friggen personal's website. =p

I know there is a few events running around, so you never know what will happen, could be alot of fun.

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RE: Age differences in BDSM - 8/4/2008 2:43:12 AM   
bplegend07


Posts: 21
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline 		I feel you brandon, I have the same problem I'm 19 I'm lucky if these girls even read my messages. And not to mention I'm n the LA area, where there are a lot of dominant woman, but the ratio of subs to dommes is insane, so the girls you would match up well with are most likely arleady takken or have enough submissives.

I think age is just a number, I mean yeah experience is a factor but older people may lack experience too. but If it's not experience then agfe is just a nummber, take me for example, I'm 19, I've been living on my own for almost 2 years now, I have a stable job and a very bright future, I'm mature for my age. I'm just saying I'm going through the exact same thing as you.

< Message edited by bplegend07 -- 8/4/2008 2:45:05 AM >

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RE: Age differences in BDSM - 8/4/2008 4:18:44 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		as part of the "older generation" (nearing 40 is not old), i prefer someone who's close to my age rather than someone who's the same as my youngest twin brothers. yes, age is only number however i can't relate with a young dominant who calls himself "Daddy". that would be quite impossible.

i'm better with someone who has the same life experience, pop cultural taste, political views etc or close to it.  not saying i wouldn't be friends with someone 20yrs my junior but it would be very difficult for me to have any type of relationship with that person so young.  i would see you more as my youngest brothers than as a dominant or whatever.

that's just me and my .30cents for the month

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RE: Age differences in BDSM - 8/4/2008 5:32:07 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		I've been involved with the lifestyle since My mid teens, back then most of My girls where much older than I, till that took an aboutface in My mid twentys and then the chemistry was being found with girls younger than I and has continued to be so.

The age gap is there but I've never found it particularly noticable. My current property is some 19 years younger than I.... This 40+ certainly isn't leaving the 20something generation behind.

Maturity and chemistry isn't tied to age, age is just a number (So long as the number is a legal one)


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RE: Age differences in BDSM - 8/4/2008 5:52:49 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		It's even worse than it takes time to figure out what you want, need, and are interested in, BunnyBoyBrandon.

It will change during the course of your lifetime.

I'm 38 now, will turn 39 in September. My slave of almost 9 years is turning 28 on Friday. We are 11 years apart.

People of different ages do indeed mix but the feelings you get that older people tend to not mingle with younger in the scene is a sad fact of many organizations and communities. NOTE that younger people also restrict those they will mingle with as well so the age division is not one-sided.

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Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: Age differences in BDSM - 8/4/2008 6:01:29 AM   
sfdrew


Posts: 124
Joined: 6/15/2007
Status: offline 		It does seem pretty common that the Tops are the older ones? Obviously not in every case but that does seem to be norm if there is an age difference.

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RE: Age differences in BDSM - 8/4/2008 8:41:22 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sfdrew

It does seem pretty common that the Tops are the older ones? Obviously not in every case but that does seem to be norm if there is an age difference.


I think it is very common though when I was starting out a few of my subs and bottoms I played with and learned from were older.

I think there is a subcultural expectation that the dom partner will be older because there is this common idea that the dom should know more and offer guidance. That's just common expectation, not reality. Someone who starts doing BDSM when she's 50 at 55 has no more experience than a partner who started when he was 20 but is not 25, heck he may started when he was 20 and now be 30 which in terms of years in the scene means he has more.

Some folks will counter and say that "life experience" matters. You know, I've met older folks who barely have their lives together and younger folks who are well set and stable in their lives.

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: Age differences in BDSM - 8/4/2008 12:27:35 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sfdrew

It does seem pretty common that the Tops are the older ones? Obviously not in every case but that does seem to be norm if there is an age difference.


I think it's common, too, in general because of the desired 'experienced Top/Dom/Master bias. However, there those that don't fit such as my and my girl. she's 17 years older than me. I'm attracted to, however, younger men.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

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RE: Age differences in BDSM - 8/4/2008 6:05:12 PM   
MercTech


Posts: 3706
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline 		After age 30, I quit trying to be what I thought I was supposed to be and worked to develope who I really am.
Perhaps it isn't the 30+ generations leaving the 20 somethings behind but that the 30+ generations have more people that have developed the BDSM side of themselves and are not afraid to persue it.

Hell, where I worked as a 20 something, even a hint of the lifestyle would have had me fired.  Not so now. <grin>

Stefan

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RE: Age differences in BDSM - 8/4/2008 6:24:01 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		well it comes down to things in common   things gernerations been through  for example i have nothing incommong with people that went through ww2 can not imagen perl harbor or atomic bomb  same way most people do not remeber disco or bell bottoms or tough skins lol   common bonds build comon threads of  joining sure you surger coat something make it taste sweet but wears away after while you have nothing but a sour puss lol

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